Sexta-feira, 21 de Fevereiro de 2020

6 Signs You Are Self-Sabotaging and How to Stop This Toxic Behavior.

6 Signs You Are Self-Sabotaging and How to Stop This Toxic Behavior.

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted February 20th, 2020.

 
 



 
 
Unfortunately, we can sometimes fall into self-sabotaging behavior. There is more than one reason for that.
 
At the moment, I feel as if I am sabotaging my life. Just when I think everything is okay, another boulder rolls down the hill and flattens me again. But it’s not a real boulder, it just feels like one. You see, at that moment, I lose all desire for the things that used to make me happy. It’s like I’m waiting for the rocks to stop falling. It’s a possibility that will never happen in my present situation. So, I feel stuck, and thus, I am sabotaging my life in the process.
 
Toxic aspects of self-sabotaging behavior
 
Procrastination is part of my behavior. I will sit and binge watch television for hours so I don’t have to face the unfairness and disrespect in my life. Instead, I try to ignore it by losing myself in some fake story on the TV. And there are many other things I do, and others do that prove we are sabotaging our lives – we are wasting precious time by letting what others do govern the next move or the next goal. There are many signs that this is true.
 
Indicators that you are sabotaging your life
 
1. You’re choosing comfort over change
 
Maybe it was once a good situation, the life you’re living right now, but things have been revealed, and it’s no longer the life you thought. In fact, it’s almost unbearable. However, it must not be bad enough for you to change it. I heard this saying once, and don’t remember where, but it fits this perfectly.
 
Once there was a dog that was sitting on a long sharp nail. A man asked the dog’s owner why the dog didn’t get up off the nail. He said it must be painful for him. The owner said, “when it hurts bad enough, he will move”.
 
That’s what happens to us. Sometimes we refuse to change because we’re not hurting bad enough yet. Eventually, if things don’t get better, the pain will become too much to take. That’s when we may give up the self-sabotaging behavior and get off that nail that’s driving deep within. That’s when we may make a better life for ourselves.
 
2. Blame is never allocated correctly
 
When something happens, you tend to either blame yourself when it isn’t your fault and blame others when it is your fault. This might not be the case 100% of the time, but it’s most of the time. Your focus is on “who did it?” and not on “what can we do to fix it?”.
 
Self-sabotaging behavior not only affects your life, but it also affects other people as well. When children are involved, it’s just confusing for them. After all, you’re trying to teach them the correct way to take responsibility.
 
3. You always want to fix people
 
I’ve spent two decades of my life in relationships fixing men. Let me tell you, it’s exhausting and it has taken a huge portion of my youth. It’s as if those years just went poof! right in front of me. I’m not trying to be insulting to anyone, it’s just that, I should have laid out the rules about who I am and then left if my expectations weren’t met.
 
Did I do that? No. Instead, I thought I could help them, change them, improve their standards in life. That was just so silly, and it still is.
 
Trying to fix people is like trying to nail jello to the wall. It just doesn’t stick, it doesn’t stay, and it makes a huge mess. Also, when you’re busy trying to fix people, you lose so much time on the things that matter the most, like your children and unconditional people in your life.
 
4. You’re using others to compare
 
I work at this all the time. I don’t find it as difficult as being judgemental, actually. Maybe I am too busy judging people to be jealous of them. However, every once in a while, I see happy people and wish I was like that. I see them smiling on social media and hugging loved ones. The picture says that their lives are perfect, but I know that those images are not the full truth.
 
But every once in a while, I sabotage my feelings when seeing marriages, Valentine’s gifts, and people who seem to have lots in common. I compare those things to the differences in my life, and I catch myself wishing my family was closer. It’s like falling into a trap, and then destroying yourself while you’re in there. It can be ruthless.
 
5. You magnify the negative
 
You never fail to notice every single negative thing that happens, but the positive things slip right by so easily. To be fair, many times, the negative things are things that happen over and over no matter how many times you’ve asked for them to stop, or how many times you’ve worked on making it better.
 
This makes it incredibly hard to see the victories as wins. In response to this, you develop depression and anxiety trying to make things work. You don’t mean to do it, but you sabotage any hope you could have by moving forward.
 
6. Worrying about what others think
 
I don’t do this much, but when I do, I make sure I worry incessantly. I guess you might say, I only worry about the things that will affect me personally. No, I don’t worry about what people think of my style or my hobbies, but I do worry about the fact that people probably think I am mean.
 
I can thank the men trying to manipulate those thoughts in my head. I am introverted, and most of us really don’t care about what others think, but sometimes, we would like to be accepted the way we are, and we sabotage ourselves trying to be something we’re not.
 
Okay, so, how are we going to stop this?
 
Well, first of all, we all need some time alone to think. We need to figure out if the place we’re at is our true destination, or are we supposed to make a change. This knowledge may take some time. Like I said about the dog, when it hurts bad enough, you will get up, and get out of the situation.
 
We should never forget what makes us happy as individuals. This doesn’t include what makes our husbands or wives happy. This is about us and us alone.
 
We should also make sure to take full responsibility for our actions but refuse to take responsibility for what someone else has done. Don’t let anyone convince you that something they’ve done is your fault. That can be a form of gaslighting. And having a healthy amount of care about how people think of you is okay. It does matter, but not to the point that you have to conform to a dress code or majority standard.
 
And then remember to be positive once in a while. Even though someone may be driving you crazy with their idiocy, try to see the good in every single moment. If you can’t see good where you’re sitting, leave the room and find it somewhere else.
 
I hope this has helped you to stop sabotaging your life. As for me, I’m still working on it, and I’m telling you, when I get it worked out, I don’t plan on making these same mistakes. Let’s hope not.
 
Be blessed.
 

 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:
 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com
bitchete.com
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

  geoglobe1
 
 
publicado por achama às 02:22
link | favorito
Comentar:
De
  (moderado)
Nome

Url

Email

Guardar Dados?

Este Blog tem comentários moderados

(moderado)
Ainda não tem um Blog no SAPO? Crie já um. É grátis.

Comentário

Máximo de 4300 caracteres



Copiar caracteres

 



O dono deste Blog optou por gravar os IPs de quem comenta os seus posts.

.mais sobre mim

.pesquisar

 

.Junho 2020

Dom
Seg
Ter
Qua
Qui
Sex
Sab

1
2
3
4
5
6

7
8
9
10
11
12
13

14
15
16
17
18
19
20

21
22
23
24
25
26
27

28
29
30


.posts recentes

. O MEU JORNAL: 2020/06/04

. The Violet Flame Journal....

. O MEU JORNAL: 2020/06/03

. The Violet Flame Journal....

. ARTIGOS DA CHAMA VIOLETA ...

. AS TRINCHEIRAS DA BATALHA...

. How to Put Yourself First...

. BE KIND!

. The Gift of Offering Pray...

. Why would you allow your ...

. Journey to the Infinite I

. A Vision for the Educatio...

. Lightworker Mission State...

. You are Receiving Importa...

. Manifest Your Desires Fas...

. COMPAIXÃO E RESPEITO

. ACESSANDO NOVAS INFORMAÇÕ...

. SEU EU VERDADEIRO.

. O fogo é resfriado pelas ...

. Está chegando...!!!

. Rob Potter Interview – 5G...

. Why Do They Keep Warning ...

. TRUE SELF

. DIVIDIDOS MAS INTERCONECT...

. CENTRALIZE-SE NUM CORAÇÃO...

. UMA SURPRESA NO SOLSTÍCIO...

. A LUZ OFERECIDA PELA HUMA...

. ONDAS DE ENERGIAS VINDAS ...

. Para voar.

. 9 Signs You Have Mean Wor...

.arquivos

. Junho 2020

. Maio 2020

. Abril 2020

. Fevereiro 2020

. Janeiro 2020

. Novembro 2019

. Junho 2019

. Maio 2019

. Janeiro 2019

. Dezembro 2018

. Janeiro 2018

. Agosto 2017

. Julho 2017

. Abril 2015

. Março 2015

. Fevereiro 2015

. Janeiro 2015

. Outubro 2014

. Agosto 2014

. Julho 2014

. Maio 2014

. Abril 2014

. Dezembro 2013

. Março 2013

. Janeiro 2013

. Agosto 2012

. Julho 2012

. Junho 2012

. Abril 2012

. Março 2012

. Fevereiro 2012

. Janeiro 2012

. Dezembro 2011

. Novembro 2011

.tags

. todas as tags

blogs SAPO

.subscrever feeds