Terça-feira, 21 de Abril de 2020

8 Emotional Manipulation Tactics and How to Recognize Them

 

8 Emotional Manipulation Tactics and How to Recognize Them

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted April 20th, 2020.

 
 
 

 

Physical or verbal abuse is easy to recognize because you can see it or hear it. However, emotional manipulation tactics aren’t always obvious.
At some point in our lives, we’ve either witnessed emotional abuse, or we’ve been victims of this heartache. I can attest to being a survivor of a couple of decades of this type of abuse myself. Emotional abuse is hard to see sometimes, and that’s why, in my opinion, it’s one of the worst types of abuse of them all. It also leaves deep scars that only really strong individuals can carry.

Emotional manipulation tactics

Emotional abuse isn’t just a random form of abuse used out of anger or frustration. Not to excuse physical violence or verbal assault, but emotional abuse is sometimes planned and perfected before use. It sounds kind of evil, doesn’t it?
Well, in some cases, it is. In other cases, it comes from a long pattern of abusive behavior through generations. This is why we need to recognize tactics used by emotional abusers to manipulate people, and we need to put a stop to these subtle attacks.

Different tactics used in emotional abuse:

1. Getting close… fast

Individuals who use emotional manipulation tactics tend to act as though they are falling in love with you fast. If it’s not an intimate relationship, they may try to convince you that they are your best friend after only knowing you a short time. So, how does this become abusive?
Well, what happens is they tell you a few really deep things about themselves, and act as if no one else knows this about them. Then they use these secrets to coax information from you! Are you still wondering how this leads to manipulation?
Here’s the thing, what they tell you isn’t all that secret, but your secrets are. They use these things that you tell them to manipulate you, while the things they tell you, many other people already know. You see…it was a trick. Now, they have ammo against you.

2. Twisting facts

Emotional manipulators are experts at twisting facts. If they don’t straight out lie, they will exaggerate, say you said what they said, or simply pretend they never heard you say anything at all. They will lie in creative ways, and push the agenda that something happened in a way that it did not.
Twisting facts, for this type of abuser, is easy for them. They’ve been doing it most of their lives to get what they want and never be responsible.

3. The raised voice distraction

I am familiar with this one, but I only learned about it in the last couple of years. Until last year, I’d never seen a grown man throw a child-like tantrum when caught in the act. Not to give details, but he was using the raised voice distraction and intimidation tactic to get what he wanted… an apology, when he should have been apologizing.
You see, screaming or getting loud is shocking if you’re not used to that sort of behavior in a discussion or confrontation. Emotional manipulators use this tactic when there is nothing else they can use.
It took me a while to recognize what was happening, I stopped apologizing when I wasn’t in the wrong, and I made peace with the fact that he may leave. Truth is, when someone screams, threatens to leave or acts childlike, sometimes it’s best if they leave if they cannot stop. You have to come to terms with this because not only is raising the voice emotional abuse, it’s also verbal abuse as well.

4. Rushing decision making

Okay, this may sound weird, but I also started to catch on to this one lately. Emotional manipulators, when they want to do something they know would upset you, will ask your opinion in a rushed environment.
They will ask you questions as they are walking out the door, or by short text during a work break, or even ask right in the middle of an unrelated conversation. They assume you will just go along with whatever it is because you were caught off guard. Watch out for this seemingly innocent tactic, which is, in fact, emotional manipulation. It’s irritating.

5. Overusing the word “insecure”

No matter what’s bugging you, you must be “insecure”. This is one of the emotional manipulation tactics that drive me crazy. You see, if they are the type to flirt, and you get angry when you see it or find out, they will say you are insecure about getting angry. Here’s a lesson. YOU ARE NOT INSECURE BECAUSE YOU GET ANGRY.
I typed that in all caps so you will understand how important that is to remember. Just because you don’t want certain boundaries crossed by other women or men in your relationship doesn’t mean you are insecure. It means you stick to your morals and standards. And honestly, if they don’t stop using this word, then maybe you don’t need them. I absolutely hate this, and yes, it’s personal.

6. Running out

An emotional manipulator will leave the scene when they realize they haven’t got a chance in winning an argument. They secretly want you to chase after them, and they threaten to leave the relationship too. This is in intimate relationships mostly, of course. They may stay gone a few hours or all night, leaving you worried and nervous.
I think it’s one of the cruelest forms of emotional manipulation. If you’re caught off guard, you will cry and call them over and over trying to get them home. It’s okay, it takes a while to catch on.
Personally, when I decide to leave relationships or friendships, I don’t run out, scream, threaten or anything. I usually just have a nice calm “sit down” and explain that I no longer wish to continue in the relationship anymore. But I think long and hard before making this final decision.
All these theatricals that manipulators use are time wasters and abusive behavior. The next time it happens, try not to be frightened, and maybe even hope they are serious about leaving. You don’t need those games in your life….trust me.

7. Pretending to be dumb

Oh, and adults will pretend to be dumb too. If you tell someone you have boundaries, they will break them, and then say that they never understood exactly what you meant. This releases them from the responsibility of their actions.
They even say they forgot, or try to twist your words about what you did and did not want in a relationship. They play dumb, but you have to be smart, and call them on every single time they try this crap. It’s just one of many tactics of emotional manipulation used by predators. Show them that you know what they are doing.

8. Playing victim

I remember many times laying my standards and boundaries out on the table for the people I loved. I did it in the beginning so they had a chance to run if they wanted to. The problem is, sometimes they agreed to each and every one of the things I held important, only to break them later in the relationship. Then they played the victim when I got angry about broken boundaries and hurts.
You see, unfortunately, some people never plan to respect your boundaries and standards, but they still want to be in a relationship with you. What they do is hope that they can change the way you believe. If you are entering a relationship, please be clear on what you want, and if you both are too different, then just walk away.
Most people don’t change unless they make the decision to do so on their own. If someone is playing victim to you, remind them of the standards and boundaries you set in the beginning, and leave the door open for them if they wish to leave.

Why people who use these emotional manipulation tactics are the worst abusers

Do you know why emotional abuse is worse than any other abuse? It’s because emotional abuse doesn’t harm you physically, it’s more than screaming, and it doesn’t rape you. Emotional abuse goes beyond every muscle and fiber of your being and attacks the essence of who you are.
It makes you question everything. It makes you doubt your worth as well. I would never downplay other forms of abuse because I’ve been through them all, but the emotional abuse makes me angrier than all the others. Once I understand this is happening,  I learn not to respond to the call to fight.
You can do this as well. It just takes a little education on the subject and a little practice. Do not let them take away your self-worth, and do not let them make you afraid to be alone. That’s all you need to fight with.
Sending blessings.

 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:
 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
bitchete.com
brighteon.com
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.


 


Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

  geoglobe1
 
 
publicado por achama às 00:55
link | comentar | favorito

.mais sobre mim

.pesquisar

 

.Junho 2020

Dom
Seg
Ter
Qua
Qui
Sex
Sab

1
2
3
4
5
6

7
8
9
10
11
12
13

14
15
16
17
18
19
20

21
22
23
24
25
26
27

28
29
30


.posts recentes

. O MEU JORNAL: 2020/06/04

. The Violet Flame Journal....

. O MEU JORNAL: 2020/06/03

. The Violet Flame Journal....

. ARTIGOS DA CHAMA VIOLETA ...

. AS TRINCHEIRAS DA BATALHA...

. How to Put Yourself First...

. BE KIND!

. The Gift of Offering Pray...

. Why would you allow your ...

. Journey to the Infinite I

. A Vision for the Educatio...

. Lightworker Mission State...

. You are Receiving Importa...

. Manifest Your Desires Fas...

. COMPAIXÃO E RESPEITO

. ACESSANDO NOVAS INFORMAÇÕ...

. SEU EU VERDADEIRO.

. O fogo é resfriado pelas ...

. Está chegando...!!!

. Rob Potter Interview – 5G...

. Why Do They Keep Warning ...

. TRUE SELF

. DIVIDIDOS MAS INTERCONECT...

. CENTRALIZE-SE NUM CORAÇÃO...

. UMA SURPRESA NO SOLSTÍCIO...

. A LUZ OFERECIDA PELA HUMA...

. ONDAS DE ENERGIAS VINDAS ...

. Para voar.

. 9 Signs You Have Mean Wor...

.arquivos

. Junho 2020

. Maio 2020

. Abril 2020

. Fevereiro 2020

. Janeiro 2020

. Novembro 2019

. Junho 2019

. Maio 2019

. Janeiro 2019

. Dezembro 2018

. Janeiro 2018

. Agosto 2017

. Julho 2017

. Abril 2015

. Março 2015

. Fevereiro 2015

. Janeiro 2015

. Outubro 2014

. Agosto 2014

. Julho 2014

. Maio 2014

. Abril 2014

. Dezembro 2013

. Março 2013

. Janeiro 2013

. Agosto 2012

. Julho 2012

. Junho 2012

. Abril 2012

. Março 2012

. Fevereiro 2012

. Janeiro 2012

. Dezembro 2011

. Novembro 2011

.tags

. todas as tags

blogs SAPO

.subscrever feeds