Quarta-feira, 5 de Fevereiro de 2020

How to Deal with Negative People in Your Workplace, Family or Friend Circle

How to Deal with Negative People in Your Workplace, Family or Friend Circle.

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted February 4th, 2020.

 
 
 
 
Handling negative people is a drain on our energy. It is often recommended to distance yourself from toxic relationships. However, sometimes we all have to learn how to deal with negative, critical and judgmental people, particularly of those people are colleagues, friends or family members.
 
Here are some tips and guidance to help you to learn how to deal with negative people, in the most positive way:
 
1. You are not responsible
 
It is all too easy to think that, when faced with a negative person, it is your responsibility to try and change their opinion. Sometimes this just is not possible and will drain your vitality in trying to do so.
 
Adults are responsible for their own behaviour. If a colleague is constantly complaining and trying to share their negative emotions with the rest of the team, it is not your job to make them happier in their role or workplace.
 
This particularly applies to friends and family. If a friend is very negative and unhappy about every situation, you can listen and show them moral support. However, you cannot put yourself under the pressure of trying to resolve all of their problems.
 
Make sure that, when faced with a negative person, you create your own space. Try not to let yourself be sucked into negative behaviour, and remain a bystander who has a sympathetic ear.
 
That isn’t to say that you might not have some helpful advice or suggestions, but do not overload yourself with trying to manage other people’s emotional responses. You are responsible for yourself, and how you engage, no more and no less.
 
2. Help where you can
 
Sometimes people just have a bad outlook on life, and nothing you say or do can turn that around. However, it can be useful to try and understand where negative people are coming from so that you can easier deal with them.
 
It may be that a colleague needs to vent; if you are in a position to let them air their concerns, feel free to do so. They may just need a friend to be able to express him or herself to, and get all their frustrations out in the open.
 
In this circumstance, they might be best advised to consult with the HR team or an appropriate manager. It can something just need a little nudge in the right direction to reflect their negativity on the solution they require.
 
Family members are another key example. When a member of your family is constantly critical, it can be difficult to want to spend time with them and can cast a cloud over family events.
 
Perhaps they feel ignored, or that their viewpoint is not being acknowledged. You can try to listen, and engage with their perspective from an empathetic standpoint. Don’t forget though that ultimately, you are not responsible for their actions.
 
3. Create boundaries
 
Easier said than done! When we have negative people in our immediate social circle, it can be very hard to create any kind of personal distance.
 
In order to safeguard your own emotional wellbeing, you should consider when and how you allow yourself to be exposed to negative behaviour. There are simple ways to effect boundaries, which protect you from being bombarded with negativity, and the impact this can have:
 
Own your own time
 
In the workplace, if you have a persistently negative colleague who impacts your working day, then consider when and how you deal and engage with them. If you tend to chat over lunch, then decide whether you are happy to continue doing so, or wish to change your break time. Once you leave the office, you are under no obligation to respond to messages or emails, and can set them aside and clear your mind to spend your personal time positively
 
Walk away
 
We all have a limit on how many stressors we can absorb in a given day. If you feel overwhelmed with problems and complaints, set a time limit on this part of your day. You can choose to walk away or schedule your time. If you have a social engagement and know that a particular friend will make this feel difficult, you can break away as and when you need to. Do not feel obligated to spend the entire time trying to deal with negativity.
 
4. Accept your feelings
 
Acknowledging that you find it hard to deal with negative people is fine. However, applying this to a close family member or friend can give rise to conflicting emotions.
 
You are allowed to feel saddened or frustrated at the attitude of somebody you love. It is particularly hard when a family member is constantly negative. So you end up feeling anxious about needing to spend time with them as it will not be a happy and positive experience from your own perspective.
 
Accepting somebody you love despite his or her bad traits is a tough part of family life. Try finding other members of your family who understand and can help to share the load of dealing with this negative person. This takes the pressure away from any one person.
 
The way we deal with negative people in our life evolves as we mature. The one factor to remember is that you control your behaviour, and how you engage with people, and not how anybody else chooses to. It is your response, and your coping mechanisms, which can keep this under control and prevent negative attitudes from having an impact on your own well-being.
 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 03:27
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Quinta-feira, 30 de Janeiro de 2020

Schizotypal Personality Disorder Symptoms and How to Spot Them

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

January 29th, 2020.

 
schizotypal personality disorder symptoms.
 
 
 
We all have our little idiosyncrasies. However, when somebody starts to withdraw from society, speak, think, act and dress in an odd way, it is possible they are showing the symptoms of schizotypal personality disorder.
 
Before we start, it is worth mentioning that schizotypal personality disorder may share similar symptoms to other disorders. For example, schizophrenia and schizoid personality disorder. However, they are not the same. So how do you characterise the signs of this disorder?
 
Three Main Schizotypal Personality Disorder Symptoms
 
The symptoms can be broken down into three main groups:
  1. A limited capacity to form and maintain close relationships
  2. A distorted way of perceiving or thinking about events
  3. Exhibiting off-putting eccentric behaviour
 
However, to be diagnosed as having a schizotypal personality disorder, you have to suffer from at least 5 of the following symptoms:
  • Problems maintaining relationships outside of the family
  • Lives a hermit or loner lifestyle
  • Detached, isolated from society
  • Suffers from persistent social anxiety that does not decrease with familiarity
  • Social anxiety is connected to paranoia
  • Flat affect or emotions or inappropriate emotional reaction
  • Odd speech style, i.e. rambling incoherently, unusual way of talking
  • Off-putting odd and eccentric behaviour, beliefs, mannerisms or thinking
  • Dresses in a peculiar way, wearing outlandish, ill-matched or unkempt clothes
  • Misinterprets events, believes something that is meaningless has a direct impact on them
  • Paranoid and suspicious about those around them, questions loyalty
  • Magical thinking, superstitious, has a belief in clairvoyance and telepathy and the paranormal
  • Allows these beliefs to influence their thinking and judgment
  • Feels that they can influence events (ideas of reference)
  • An odd thinking style, for example, stereotypical, black and white thinking, vague, over-elaborates, metaphorical or circumstantial
  • Believes they can sense an absent person’s presence
 
These Symptoms in More Detail
 
Inability to form relationships
 
The major problem someone with this disorder faces is an inability to form close relationships. However, it is not surprising that the schizotypal person has problems with relationships. Consider the other presenting factors in this disorder.
 
For example, the odd speech and thinking, misinterpreting events and dressing in an eccentric manner. These all contribute to problems forming relationships. But are their problems due to theirdiscomfort managing these symptoms or the discomfort of others around them? Experts are not sure. I suspect it is a combination of the two.
 
Social Isolation
 
What experts do know is that a person suffering from schizotypal personality disorder feels anxious in social situations. It is likely, therefore, that alongside all the other social and personal deficits, they prefer their own company. This leads to a hermit or loner lifestyle.
 
As a result, this has a knock-on effect on relationships. They feel uncomfortable in social situations. Of course, this doesn’t help with forming close relationships. However, the main reason for this anxiety is paranoia and suspicion regarding other people’s behaviour towards them. Not the fact they feel shy and awkward in social situations.
 
Odd behaviour
 
There are many symptoms of odd behaviour that show up in schizotypal personality disorder. For example, a flat affect in speech is common. Others around them will think they are cold and aloofbecause of this.
 
Likewise, speaking inappropriately or showing the wrong emotion at the wrong time. A little like giggling at a funeral. The way they speak is also odd. They might use a lot of metaphors to converse, speak with a lot of useless nonsense or ramble on with too much detail.
 
Their dress will be mismatched or outlandish. They’ll think nothing of wearing pyjamas to the theatre or a ball gown to the supermarket. They might be dishevelled or dirty. They won’t care about personal hygiene, preferring to spend their time researching the important things like alien invasions and the end of the world.
 
Ideas of reference
 
People with a schizotypal personality disorder will often believe that meaningless events hold great significance, especially for them. It is as if they are being given clues and signs to interpret and only they can solve them. This is similar to ‘magical thinking’ where people believe that their thoughts, ideas, wishes or actions have the power to influence outside events.
 
I remember working in an office years ago and a guy I had worked only a few times with came up to me and asked if I had left an elastic band on his desk. I didn’t understand the question. He said the band was in the shape of a love heart and that he understood what I was trying to tell him.
 
Superstitious
 
Superstition is another symptom of schizotypal personality, alongside a preoccupation with the paranormal. People who suffer from this disorder are obsessed with clairvoyants, magic, numbers, the universe, and the unknown; anything that cannot be easily explained.
 
They may also hold odd beliefs; ones that do not conform to societal rules. But they won’t care what others think.
Odd thinking style
 
People with this disorder think differently to us. They might use black and white thinking, or perceive time and space in different terms (perpetual aberration). They also suffer from a concentration on physical symptoms, such as pain or fatigue (somatic symptoms), which then causes them great emotional distress.
 
They are often paranoid and believe in conspiracy theories, particularly relating outlandish tales about themselves. For example, they might suppose that an innocent phone call by a relative is talking about them to the CIA.
 
Who Is Likely to Suffer from Schizotypal Personality Disorder?
 
Just under 4% of the world’s population suffers from this disorder. There is a slightly higher occurrence in men (4.2%) than women (3.7%). You are more likely to suffer from this disorder if you are a black woman, have a low income, are divorced, separated or widowed.
 
With adjustments made for variables, the schizotypal disorder is shown to be significantly associated with other disorders. This includes narcissistic personality disorder, bipolar disorder and PTSD. Conversely, there are lower occurrences in Asian men.
 
What Are the Causes of This Disorder?
 
Experts believe a combination of factors contributes to a cause of this disorder:
  • Biology
  • Genetics
  • Environment
  • Biology
 
Research shows that mothers exposed to influenza during their 6th-month gestation pregnancy term have higher associations with schizotypal traits in males.
 
Genetics
 
Early studies show that diagnoses of this disorder are higher when some form of schizo-disorder runs in the family.
 
Environment
 
Episodes of stress, psychological trauma or acute anxiety lead to higher incidences of people suffering from this disorder.
 
Diagnosing and Treating Schizotypal Personality Disorder
 
There are no blood or genetic tests that can diagnose this disorder. In fact, someone who has several of the symptoms of schizotypal personality disorder should seek a proper diagnosis from a trained mental health practitioner. Psychologists and psychiatrists have the expertise to diagnose this rather tricky mental health disorder.
 
The problem with treating this kind of disorder is that usually, the person suffering from it does not seek treatment themselves. Therefore, it is up to the family or friends of the sufferer to help the person get treatment.
 
Treatment of schizotypal personality disorder can be a combination of psychotherapy to understand what is happening and medication to calm the symptoms. For severe cases, treatment may not be effective. Therefore, the only way forward is to assist people suffering to live a satisfying and productive life on their own.
 
Final Thoughts
 
Decades ago, anyone who appeared different would be locked up regardless of what was wrong with them. Nowadays, we are learning more and more about the human brain and mental disorders. This is allowing experts to help those who are suffering to improve their living standards, which can only be a step in the right direction for everyone.
 
References:

  1. www.mayoclinic.org
  2. pdfs.semanticscholar.org
  3. www.health.harvard.edu
  4. www.webmd.com

 

 
Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 01:50
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Terça-feira, 21 de Janeiro de 2020

Got a Friend Who Is Always Asking for Favors? How to Handle Them and Set Boundaries

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 19th, 2020.

 
 
 

 
 
Friendships come in all shapes and sizes, and we will usually have one friend who is always asking for favors. Give and take is a normal part of friendship, but what can you do when it becomes a recurring theme?
 
Take a look at my suggestions as to how to deal with that friend who is constantly asking for favors, and how to create boundaries.
 
Recognize the signs of being used
 
One immediate sign of a friendship that is not genuine is a friend who is always asking for favors and offers nothing in return. If you have ever felt that a friendship is completely one-sided, you may be being used.
 
 
It is useful to consider what you are gaining from this friendship.
  • Do you enjoy their company, or dread having to meet up?
  • Are they funny and/or share your interests, or do you feel obliged to maintain contact?
  • Have they acknowledged the favors you have done, or taken them for granted?
 
Dealing with toxic ‘friendships’
 
If you reflect on a friendship and know that it is proving toxic, then there is only one answer; to move on.
 
This is the worst-case scenario, but you are responsible for your wellbeing, and cannot sustain a friendship purely because you feel obliged to. Toxic people drain your energy and your resources, and will not stop using you for the favors they are constantly asking for unless you put a stop to it.
 
Creating boundaries
 
Most of the time, friends who are always asking for favors do so simply because you let them. They might not even realize they are doing it, or that it is causing you distress.
 
The most important thing for you to do to sustain a friendship that you value is to talk openly about your concerns.
 
If you find yourself saying ‘yes’ to everything, even at great inconvenience, you are validating unreasonable behavior. Most friends will not take advantage of kindness intentionally, but people can be thoughtless and might be falling into the habit of relying on you without considering other options.
Preserve your space
 
Open discussion can be uncomfortable, but if you wish to keep your relationship, then honesty is essential. Tell your friend that you have concerns about them always asking for favours. They might have no idea that they are repeating this behavior, and if they place equal value on your friendship will be able to discuss it with you.
 
Alternatively, if you think this conversation may cause conflict, you can put in place your barriers subtly. If this does not change their behavior and they continue asking for favors constantly, then it is time for ‘the talk’.
 
Establishing control
 
Remember that you always have control over your actions, but not those of others. Consider whyyour friend is always turning to you and asking for favors.
  • Do you always say yes?
  • Have you ever tried saying no?
  • If you have said no, was that an end to the request?
  • Could you say yes, but within a timescale that is convenient for you?
  • Have you tried recommending another friend or resource that might be more suitable?
 
Sometimes we unwittingly reinforce bad behavior to avoid conflict. In doing so, we set ourselves up for a difficult time by confirming the validity of this behavior. In the case of a friend who is always asking for favors, if you haven’t ever said no, how do you know how they would react?
 
Managing contact
 
In this day and age, many of us are guilty of feeling like we have to be available 24/7. Doing this makes us open and available to anybody at any time, and neglects the importance of taking time for ourselves.
 
One of the key ways to establish and maintain your boundaries is to choose when and how you are available. This is very simple!
  • Turn off your phone when you don’t wish to be disturbed.
  • Don’t feel obliged to check your messages when you are busy at work, or about to go to sleep.
Try not replying immediately to every message, and give yourself time to consider your response before replying
 
By establishing your own ‘rules’ about how you communicate, you take back control of your time and recognize the value of your space.
 
Building distance
 
If you are finding it hard to create boundaries, then a little distance may be what is needed.
 
It is hard to consider creating distance between yourself and a friend. But if the relationship is turning toxic and you are forgetting why you became friends in the first place, this is essential to preserve goodwill.
 
 
You could try creating a different ringtone for your friend who is always asking for favors. This gives you a choice about whether or not to pick up the phone, or whether to return a call when you are in a good position to talk and consider your answer if they are calling to ask for another favor.
 
Turning the tables
 
This is a tricky one, but if you are concerned that a friendship is turning sour and that your friend is always asking for favors to manipulate the friendship, you could try asking for one back.
 
I do not believe in creating scenarios intended to make somebody ‘fail a test’. However, if you think you might be being used but aren’t sure enough that you want to cause conflict within your friendship, next time you do need a favor, you could try asking this friend and seeing how they respond.
 
The chances are that if they are always relying on you for help that they trust and respect your opinion. Being able to ask for support from your friends is an essential part of making sure that trust runs both ways.
 
If your friendship means as much to them as it does to you, next time you need a lift somewhere, or for a friend to check in on your cat, make this friend your first call. Hopefully, they will jump at the chance to return your kindness.
 
And if they don’t? At least you know exactly where you stand.

 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 03:32
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Segunda-feira, 20 de Janeiro de 2020

Immature Adults Will Display These 7 Traits and Behaviors

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 20th, 2020.

 
 
 
Emotional maturity usually comes naturally, but for some people, this step of growth seems to have been missed. Dealing with immature adults can be difficult and stressful. A person who isn’t able to grasp the concept of negotiation is as difficult to deal with as a toddler – hence being an immature adult!
 
Here are some key examples of the behaviors and traits of immature adults to look out for.
 
It can also be interesting to analyze whether you are also guilty of some of these traits and need to apply maturity to those situations.
 
1. Lack of emotional control
 
Adults who lack maturity will have little control over their emotions and overreact in much the same way as a small child. Have you ever seen a child screaming and crying in a supermarket because they couldn’t choose a product from the shelf? That is a primary example of immaturity.
 
Children, of course, are not expected to be emotionally mature. They need time and guidance to learn how to process and express their feelings. Immature adults have never learned this, and so can lash out, act out of proportion with the situation or become overwhelmingly emotional.
 
This sign of an immature adult often stems from a cushioned childhood or having a condition that makes them unable to get in touch with their feelings.
 
2. Lack of independence
 
Immature people will not behave with the independence that we expect when reaching maturity. Traits may include a reliance on a parent or partner to cook their food or provide other general household tasks such as laundry.
 
It may be that immature adults simply haven’t ever been taught the necessary skills to take care of their own needs and have grown up learning complete reliance on others.
 
In this situation, continuing to support their dependence is never a good idea. Adults who have come to rely on others will never be able to support themselves if they do not have any reason to learn the essential life skills they are missing.
 
3. Irresponsibility
 
Immature adults often are most easily identified by their lack of respect for finances and possessions – whether their own or somebody else’s. This stems from the nature of children who don’t yet understand the value or worth of things since they are reliant on a parent or guardian to provide for them.
 
Most adults learn this value very quickly, and in particular when joining the workforce and learning to equate money and possessions with their income. However, an immature adult has never learned to respect their finances and can be very irresponsible and fickle with money.
 
4. Selfishness
 
One of the common behaviors of immature people is innate selfishness. They may find it difficult to relate to or empathize with others, and may, therefore, struggle to maintain healthy relationships of any kind.
 
This behavior echoes a small child who exists within their world and hasn’t yet learned to empathize. An adult who lacks maturity will be unable to consider anything from the perspective of another person. They will only have an interest in fulfilling their desires.
 
For this reason, immature adults are often untrustworthy and prone to lie, as with children. This is less likely to be malicious, and more likely to be a product of their selfish nature. It means that they simply cannot accept responsibility for their actions, or perceive the equal value of others.
 
5. Oversharing
 
An immature adult usually tends not to have a filter. This is a key trait that is identifiable within children who often need parents to explain cultural norms. For example, discussing other people loudly in a queue or asking potentially hurtful questions in innocence.
 
This trait can often be seen on social media and reflects the emotional immaturity of an adult who needs to feel validated by the opinions of others. Perhaps less obvious than some of the other behaviors of immature adults, oversharing and not being able to pursue their own goals without external validation is a key trait.
 
6. Being egocentric
 
Small children, and even teenagers, often crave attention and holding the spotlight. This behavior is seen in immature adults, who desire attention at all costs and will often upstage others to ensure they receive it.
 
A sign of this trait could be an adult who creates unnecessary drama at a celebratory event which is not being held for them. Or it could be a friend who discusses problems at every opportunity without giving thought to whether it is appropriate.
 
This can be a sign of an immature adult who has always felt themselves to be competing for attention. It can also be a sign of an adult who has always been the center of attention throughout their upbringing. Thus, he or she has not developed the maturity to share the spotlight from time to time.
 
7. Inability to sustain relationships
 
We all know that relationships of any nature need equal effort to sustain them. Immature adults areoften single or change romantic partners regularly. They are also likely to have few friends, as they cannot commit to other people, to show empathy or to understand the priorities and perspectives of people around them.
 
An immature adult may either have few people close to them or only be close to family members who likely continue to treat them as a child.
 
How to deal with immature adults?
 
There is no hard and fast way to manage immature people. But the best course of action is never to support their poor behavior. This will only reinforce their conditioned emotional responses and support this continuing.
 
 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com
 
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

  geoglobe1
 
 
publicado por achama às 20:47
link | comentar | favorito
Terça-feira, 19 de Novembro de 2019

Why Ghosting People Can Be Damaging and 6 Reasons Why Ghosters Do It

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted November 18, 2019.

 

 
 
Having you ever heard of ghosting people? Well, it has nothing to do with the supernatural. It’s something much more heinous.
 
Relationships can be beautiful things, but some of them do not last. I’ve always heard that some breakups are so bad that they feel the same as grieving the loss of a loved one, and in a way we have. But there is something even worse than a breakup. Can you imagine? Some people turn to ghosting in order to get rid of their love interest.
 
What is ghosting and why do some people do it?
 
Do you know what it means to go ghost on a boyfriend? Well, if not, here’s the low down…and, by the way, it’s a really is a low down way to go. Ghosting means realizing that you’re not interested in the person your dating or in a relationship with, and instead of breaking up with them, you just disappear.
 
Going ghost on people means just leaving, not returning texts or calls, and avoiding any human contact at all. You give you reasons and it’s always a sudden decision. It’s as if you wake up one morning and decide you have to get away from the relationship.
 
If you’ve been ghosted before, you know the level of pain it causes, but if not, can you imagine how devastating it can be to be left in the dark? It can be extremely damaging. So why? Why must we leave people with no explanations about the breakup? Are we evil people? Let’s take a look.

Why are we ghosting people?

1. Avoiding confrontation
 
The number one reason why most people ghost others is that they are afraid of confrontation or they just hate it. Facing someone and telling them that you want to break up is never easy. Let’s face it, looking into their eyes has to be pretty hard. Then you have to think about all the questions they’ll have and the crying.
 
Many people want to avoid all this awkwardness and just disappear. While avoiding confrontation may be easier for the ghoster, it’s horrible for the one who has no idea what’s going on. Even though the break up would be hard, it would be easier than being left with nothing to go on. Healing would be much harder.

2. Attempting to save feelings
 
Some people think it hurts less to just go ghost. They feel that the break up hurts the other person’s confidence and self-esteem. While the self-esteem may take a temporarily hit, it can be healed with time. When you ghost someone, these people have nothing to go on, and they can try to figure it out for themselves, creating all sorts of much worse scenarios.
 
The truth is, maybe you just feel you’re not a good match, this is not as bad as leaving someone guessing at all the terrible things they must have done to warrant being ghosted. Do you see? Unfortunately, some people just have it all turned backward when it comes to ending relationships.

3. Negative past experiences
 
Some people feel that ghosting is the better route because they’ve had some really bad face to face or phone break-ups. Maybe they were insulted, begged or even attacked after telling their girlfriend the relationship was over. The truth is, you never really know what’s going to happen when you confront them. But, even if you’ve had bad past experiences, it’s still not the right thing to do.
 
 
Even though phone calls or texts are not as personal and respectful as face to face talks, if you’ve had a bad history of break-ups, at least don’t just disappear. It can leave scars that may not go away and follow them into their next relationship. Did you know that ghosting a person can even damage their trust for the next fellow? That’s not fair.

4. Severe narcissism
 
Here we are again, talking about the narcissist. Seems like they tend to do many heinous things when they are on the selfish side of the spectrum. If you’ve followed many of the articles here about narcissistic personality disorder or similar topics, you will remember that this type of narcissism includes the lack of empathy. Empathy is where you’re considerate of other people’s feelings.
 
Many people ghost the ones they’ve been dating because they simply don’t care and just want to get it over with. Sometimes, in their minds, it’s just like throwing away something that is no longer useful to them. But, of course, that’s just what narcissists of this nature do.

5. The fear of commitment
 
I’ve actually witnessed this before, and it’s really strange to me. This also primarily deals with couples who are entering a new level in their relationship. It also doesn’t have to do with just marriage. It can also be the fear of commitment to one person that causes the ghoster to run away.
 
Many times, people like this think they are incapable of loving one person, or fear they will fail at being a spouse. Also, if they’ve been married before or in a committed relationship which failed horribly, they are prone to ghost on you as well.
 
Although it’s wrong, this reason is more out of fear than not caring about the other person. Sometimes these people even come back. But after all that, would you really want to see them again?
6. No respect
 
Sometimes people enter into relationships and discover extremely negative qualities about each other. One partner may have such bad qualities that it’s almost impossible to endure. This usually means the relationship is not going to last. So, the proper thing to do would be to break up, right?
 
Well, in some cases, instead of breaking up with a person you’ve lost respect for, you may just ghost them. Even though ghosting people is bad, you may feel like the person is so horrible that it doesn’t matter. Unfortunately, losing all respect for your partner may have you wanting to just disappear.

Is it ever right to ghost people?
 
Honestly, it’s rarely ever a good thing to just disappear on someone you’ve dated. Only in severe circumstances where you fear for your life should you ever consider going ghost.
 
I urge you to be brave, and if your relationship is going under, go to your partner and discuss what should be done. If you have to break up with them, it’s better to have enough care to tell them to their face, or at least a phone call or text. Try to never leave someone hanging…yes just don’t go ghost.
 
I think you understand now.
 
References:
 

Sherrie Hurd
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 
 
 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 02:56
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Sexta-feira, 15 de Novembro de 2019

6 Types of Abuse in Relationships and How to Recognize Them

By Sherrie Hurd

learning-mind.com

on November 14th, 2019.

 
types of abuse.

 
 
As you know, abuse comes in many forms. In a relationship, there are several types of abuse.
 
Everyone wishes for a loving and healthy relationship, whether it’s a platonic or intimaterelationship. Healthy relationships involve respect, kindness, selflessness, and many other beneficial qualities. While unhealthy relationships continue to grow worse ignoring most of the good qualities of good unions.
 
Different types of abuse are sometimes hard to recognize
 
Recognizing abuse and the different types requires being educated on each one. Many times a husband or wife can go through years of abuse without even knowing the truth.
 
In many of these situations, one partner is convinced that they are the entire problem, while the fault lies mostly with the other. This is an insidious way of the abuser being able to continue what they’re doing.
 
What are the different types of abuse?
 
1. Physical abuse
 
When you hear the word abuse, what’s the first thing you think of? For most people, that would be physical abuse, but not for everyone.
 
Physical abuse can be punching, kicking, slapping, strangling, shoving or any similar forms of forced physical contact. Believe it or not, physical abuse can also be neglect or abandonment because it deals with physical aspects.
 
Physical abuse can also include being restrained against your will or the invasion of your own personal space. The violence of this nature can often lead to severe injuries, hospitalization, or at worst, even death. This is the most common form of domestic violence.
 
2. Verbal abuse
 
This form of abuse can be loud or it can be subtle. Verbal attacks include shouting, insults or outward lies. Yes, lies are verbal abuse because they are usually pathological and designed to break down your reserves. Verbal abuse is used to make you think you’re crazy.
 
This can also be called gaslighting. If you know something to be true and it includes negative aspects about the liar, they will do whatever it takes to make you feel as though you imagined the whole thing. This often overlaps with mental abuse.
 
3. Mental abuse
 
Abuse of this caliber can isolate the victim so bad that there will be few people who believe what they’re going through.
 
Mental/ psychological abuse can also come in the form of gaslighting (making you think you’re crazy), but it can also do so much more damage than taint your reputation. Mental abuse includes lies when the truth is right in front of your face, and these can wear down your mental capacity.
 
Those who already battle mental illness can become progressively worse when dealing with mental abuse in a relationship. It is true, that someone can tell you lies for so long that even you believe them yourself.
 
That’s why this sort of abuse is so damaging. It turns you against your own logic, which can be devastating. It can even turn others against you and make them see your abuser as the “good guy”.
 
4. Sexual abuse
 
Did you know that sexual abuse can happen in a relationship? Yes, most definitely. Rape can occur as well. If either partner doesn’t want to engage in intimate relations, but it otherwise forced to do so, this is considered rape, or abuse.
 
While sexual abuse can be a physical act, it can also overlap emotional and mental abuse. Using sex as a way to get what you want, to assign value to your partner, or to insult them is also considered sexual abuse.
 
Intimacy was designed to do many positive things, but unfortunately, it can be twisted into a heinous form of abuse, whether married or unmarried, even in other related forms.
 
5. Emotional abuse
 
Although similar to mental abuse, with some overlapping, emotional abuse has more to do with the feelings than thinking. With this type of abuse, the victim’s feelings are often ignored when they don’t align with what the partner feels.
 
Control is a huge part of emotional abuse, where one partner tries to have reign over every aspect of their partner’s life. Control in emotional abuse can include financial control, where the partner isn’t allowed to work or have a bank account.
 
Sometimes this control develops due to past circumstances or jealousy, but it’s still emotional abuse. Other forms of emotional abuse involve making your partner feel worthless with insults and neglect. This includes racism, sexism, and making jokes about someone’s native language.
 
Most of the time, people outside of the relationship will have no idea any of this is going on until it becomes severe.
 
6. The abuse of addiction
 
The reason this type of abuse is mentioned here is that it can affect more than the person who is caught in its grips. Alcoholism or drug abuse damages the user, the user’s family, and many others who may be around the user.
 
In your relationship, if your partner is addicted to alcohol or drugs, or even other things, it’s best to seek professional help. Addiction tends to be an extremely difficult type of abuse to conquer.
 
Recognizing the abuse in relationships
 
It’s fairly easy to recognize types of abusive behavior when reading the categories above. If you’re experiencing physical discomfort, it could be physical or sexual abuse. If you’re starting to think you’re worthless or contemplating suicide, you could be experiencing a number of these types.
 
You see, all types of abuse overlap somewhere, so there could be symptoms of more than one type going on in your life.
 
One way to discover whether or not you’re being abused is if you’ve been labeled as “crazy” by your loved one. This label often masks all the other symptoms of abuse and it’s hard to get to the truth when gaslighted. If you’ve been told you’re crazy, this is a red flag. Seek help immediately to discover the truth of your relationship.
 
Take back control and take back your life!
 
References:
 
 
 
Sherrie Hurd.

 

 





 

About the Author: Sherrie Hurd


Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She is an advocate for mental health awareness and nutrition. Sherrie studied Psychology, Journalism, and Fine Arts, receiving an Associates in Marketing. She has written for Beacon, a southern college publication, and is an author of a full-length non-fiction novel. Sherrie spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 



 

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publicado por achama às 03:39
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Quarta-feira, 1 de Maio de 2019

3 Interesting Decision-Making Theories Which Explain the Choices We Make ~ Sherrie.

3 Interesting Decision-Making Theories Which Explain the Choices We Make.

By Sherrie.

April 30, 2019


 

Decision-making theories come are quite useful. When it’s time to make an important choice, there’s no need to delay.
Whether we are familiar with theories regarding decision-making or not, in this day and age, choice is in abundance. What do we want to eat, which sofa should we purchase, do you get a dog or not? Because we have way too many options, it can make choosing much harder than it should be.
Choice is our ability to make decisions when presented with two or more options. When we have more than two options, we must make a choice. This is what the world presents to us. Therefore, it is the truth of how free will works. We can then live and artistically create the life we want to.
So, why is it so difficult? Ultimately, choice represents the sacrifices we must make. We automatically give up something else when we make a choice between two or more things.
This means, if we find ourselves wanting something else next month, chances are that choice will be gone – non-existent. We have to take what we have today, and this depends on what we choose.

Decision-making theories – the basics

Different approaches to decision-making are sometimes called Choice theories. William Glasser founded this term from a book with the same title. According to Glasser, freedom, fun, power, love and belonging, and survival are basic satisfied needs which come from choices we make.
The idea that choices are mostly made by humans, which enhance what we really want, is an idea that’s been around for quite some time. Choice and the psychology behind it is the reason we make the decisions that we do. It’s a subconscious decision that motivates our satisfaction and meeting those satisfactions.

Here are three decision-making theories that will help you to understand the choices you make. It might even encourage you to make better ones!

1. Our emotions connect to our actions

Neuroscientist and professor at USC and Salk Institute, Dr. Antonio Damasio says that our decisions come from visceral emotion. The definition of his theory is that there is a link between “raw” emotions and the part of the brain which governs decisions. He, therefore, concluded that decision making and judgment come from a critical neural circuit.
Damasio concludes that non-rational and rational processes bridge feeling and emotion. If meaning and motivation, would not be possible if emotional input was absent, and decision making could not happen.
Damasio believes that we don’t only base our choices on logic and fact, but also on memories and emotions. This is why we make decisions on unconscious levels. Our intuition guides us.

2. Decisions can be costly – literally!

Does making decisions result in reduced self-control? A study from the University of Minnesota points to yes. The study also showed more procrastination, lack of ability to persist in failed circumstances, decrease in physical stamina, and worsening of arithmetic abilities
Researchers, to conduct the study asked students for help. After dividing into two groups, the teams take on studies much like the others but to understand how choices affect things. Identical product lists were given to all the students in the initial experiment.
A singular group was asked questions revolved around how often, in the past, that the product was used. However, one group was about how often they’d used the products in the past. The same product, with variations, were chosen by the other group. In another experiment, one group answered questions such as this and the other did not.
“Making choices apparently depleted a precious self-resource,” wrote the authors in the conclusion of their study. “This is because subsequent self-regulation is poorer among those who had made choices than it was among those who had not. This pattern became clear in the laboratory, classroom, and shopping mall.”

3. Watch out for bias!

There is absolutely no doubt that our biases affect our choices. However, there is one particular bias that focuses on decision-making theories in many situations.
Loss aversion bias is one such example. No one likes to be left out or miss important things. Fact. However, it isn’t as important to gain something than it is to avoid losing something. This is the way aversion works. The endowment effect shows us through our desire to keep what we have instead of striving for more.
Daniel Kahneman, in yet another study, gave test subjects either an empty mug, nothing or chocolate.  They could trade or choose between two other objects. Half of them wanted the mugs, but those who already had mugs did not want to give them up – about 86% of participants, showing the desire to keep the possessions a person already has.

How to make hard decisions easier

Choices are hard, you see. I guess you understand now. No matter what, some choices you make will always be hard. However, some of these decision-making theories might just help you understand your own choices.
We don’t always have a rational reason to make decisions. They cannot separate from our identity, our location, or what helps us decide what to wear. Maybe we will be able to make wiser choices and help others make proper decisions too, as long as we understand psychological influences and factors that affect our decisions.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.forbes.com
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

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