Terça-feira, 21 de Abril de 2020

8 Emotional Manipulation Tactics and How to Recognize Them


8 Emotional Manipulation Tactics and How to Recognize Them

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.


Posted April 20th, 2020.



Physical or verbal abuse is easy to recognize because you can see it or hear it. However, emotional manipulation tactics aren’t always obvious.
At some point in our lives, we’ve either witnessed emotional abuse, or we’ve been victims of this heartache. I can attest to being a survivor of a couple of decades of this type of abuse myself. Emotional abuse is hard to see sometimes, and that’s why, in my opinion, it’s one of the worst types of abuse of them all. It also leaves deep scars that only really strong individuals can carry.

Emotional manipulation tactics

Emotional abuse isn’t just a random form of abuse used out of anger or frustration. Not to excuse physical violence or verbal assault, but emotional abuse is sometimes planned and perfected before use. It sounds kind of evil, doesn’t it?
Well, in some cases, it is. In other cases, it comes from a long pattern of abusive behavior through generations. This is why we need to recognize tactics used by emotional abusers to manipulate people, and we need to put a stop to these subtle attacks.

Different tactics used in emotional abuse:

1. Getting close… fast

Individuals who use emotional manipulation tactics tend to act as though they are falling in love with you fast. If it’s not an intimate relationship, they may try to convince you that they are your best friend after only knowing you a short time. So, how does this become abusive?
Well, what happens is they tell you a few really deep things about themselves, and act as if no one else knows this about them. Then they use these secrets to coax information from you! Are you still wondering how this leads to manipulation?
Here’s the thing, what they tell you isn’t all that secret, but your secrets are. They use these things that you tell them to manipulate you, while the things they tell you, many other people already know. You see…it was a trick. Now, they have ammo against you.

2. Twisting facts

Emotional manipulators are experts at twisting facts. If they don’t straight out lie, they will exaggerate, say you said what they said, or simply pretend they never heard you say anything at all. They will lie in creative ways, and push the agenda that something happened in a way that it did not.
Twisting facts, for this type of abuser, is easy for them. They’ve been doing it most of their lives to get what they want and never be responsible.

3. The raised voice distraction

I am familiar with this one, but I only learned about it in the last couple of years. Until last year, I’d never seen a grown man throw a child-like tantrum when caught in the act. Not to give details, but he was using the raised voice distraction and intimidation tactic to get what he wanted… an apology, when he should have been apologizing.
You see, screaming or getting loud is shocking if you’re not used to that sort of behavior in a discussion or confrontation. Emotional manipulators use this tactic when there is nothing else they can use.
It took me a while to recognize what was happening, I stopped apologizing when I wasn’t in the wrong, and I made peace with the fact that he may leave. Truth is, when someone screams, threatens to leave or acts childlike, sometimes it’s best if they leave if they cannot stop. You have to come to terms with this because not only is raising the voice emotional abuse, it’s also verbal abuse as well.

4. Rushing decision making

Okay, this may sound weird, but I also started to catch on to this one lately. Emotional manipulators, when they want to do something they know would upset you, will ask your opinion in a rushed environment.
They will ask you questions as they are walking out the door, or by short text during a work break, or even ask right in the middle of an unrelated conversation. They assume you will just go along with whatever it is because you were caught off guard. Watch out for this seemingly innocent tactic, which is, in fact, emotional manipulation. It’s irritating.

5. Overusing the word “insecure”

No matter what’s bugging you, you must be “insecure”. This is one of the emotional manipulation tactics that drive me crazy. You see, if they are the type to flirt, and you get angry when you see it or find out, they will say you are insecure about getting angry. Here’s a lesson. YOU ARE NOT INSECURE BECAUSE YOU GET ANGRY.
I typed that in all caps so you will understand how important that is to remember. Just because you don’t want certain boundaries crossed by other women or men in your relationship doesn’t mean you are insecure. It means you stick to your morals and standards. And honestly, if they don’t stop using this word, then maybe you don’t need them. I absolutely hate this, and yes, it’s personal.

6. Running out

An emotional manipulator will leave the scene when they realize they haven’t got a chance in winning an argument. They secretly want you to chase after them, and they threaten to leave the relationship too. This is in intimate relationships mostly, of course. They may stay gone a few hours or all night, leaving you worried and nervous.
I think it’s one of the cruelest forms of emotional manipulation. If you’re caught off guard, you will cry and call them over and over trying to get them home. It’s okay, it takes a while to catch on.
Personally, when I decide to leave relationships or friendships, I don’t run out, scream, threaten or anything. I usually just have a nice calm “sit down” and explain that I no longer wish to continue in the relationship anymore. But I think long and hard before making this final decision.
All these theatricals that manipulators use are time wasters and abusive behavior. The next time it happens, try not to be frightened, and maybe even hope they are serious about leaving. You don’t need those games in your life….trust me.

7. Pretending to be dumb

Oh, and adults will pretend to be dumb too. If you tell someone you have boundaries, they will break them, and then say that they never understood exactly what you meant. This releases them from the responsibility of their actions.
They even say they forgot, or try to twist your words about what you did and did not want in a relationship. They play dumb, but you have to be smart, and call them on every single time they try this crap. It’s just one of many tactics of emotional manipulation used by predators. Show them that you know what they are doing.

8. Playing victim

I remember many times laying my standards and boundaries out on the table for the people I loved. I did it in the beginning so they had a chance to run if they wanted to. The problem is, sometimes they agreed to each and every one of the things I held important, only to break them later in the relationship. Then they played the victim when I got angry about broken boundaries and hurts.
You see, unfortunately, some people never plan to respect your boundaries and standards, but they still want to be in a relationship with you. What they do is hope that they can change the way you believe. If you are entering a relationship, please be clear on what you want, and if you both are too different, then just walk away.
Most people don’t change unless they make the decision to do so on their own. If someone is playing victim to you, remind them of the standards and boundaries you set in the beginning, and leave the door open for them if they wish to leave.

Why people who use these emotional manipulation tactics are the worst abusers

Do you know why emotional abuse is worse than any other abuse? It’s because emotional abuse doesn’t harm you physically, it’s more than screaming, and it doesn’t rape you. Emotional abuse goes beyond every muscle and fiber of your being and attacks the essence of who you are.
It makes you question everything. It makes you doubt your worth as well. I would never downplay other forms of abuse because I’ve been through them all, but the emotional abuse makes me angrier than all the others. Once I understand this is happening,  I learn not to respond to the call to fight.
You can do this as well. It just takes a little education on the subject and a little practice. Do not let them take away your self-worth, and do not let them make you afraid to be alone. That’s all you need to fight with.
Sending blessings.


Sherrie Hurd



Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 




Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 


No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

Please respect all credits.


Discernment is recommended.

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 



Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily


Free counters!

publicado por achama às 00:55
link | comentar | favorito
Quarta-feira, 5 de Fevereiro de 2020

Cyberstalking: Examples, Tactics and How to Protect Yourself Online

Cyberstalking: Examples, Tactics and How to Protect Yourself Online

Janey Davies.


February 4th, 2020.


Stalking in any form is insidious and menacing. However, cyberstalking takes this kind of threatening behaviour to frightening new levels.
The internet has evolved to become the place in which we communicate effectively and quickly. For the vast majority of us, it is a safe and pleasant place to inhibit. But for others, it can cause untold terror and misery. So what exactly is cyberstalking?
What Is Cyberstalking?
It is any kind of unwanted attention, such as harassment or abuse, which takes place online. This can be via email, text messages, social media, even GPS tracking devices. It is basically stalking in the cyberworld.
This type of abuse can be directed at an individual, group or business. It tends to be prolonged, intimidating, and sustained over a long period of time. The problem with this type of stalking is that you cannot escape from it. It follows you everywhere. We all have smartphones, access to the internet. And we can’t just switch off.
Examples of Cyberstalking
  • Hacking into a person’s social media account to find personal information.
  • Creating a fake social media account to keep in touch with an ex-partner.
  • Sending hundreds of unwanted text messages or emails.
  • Posting explicit pictures of an ex-partner online.
  • Threatening to post nude pictures of an ex-partner online or to friends and family.
  • Hacking the person’s social media account and posting rude messages as that person.
  • Using your social media account to post malicious rumours about a person.
  • Sending spiteful or discrediting emails to a victim’s place of work to damage their reputation.
  • Hacking into a victim’s computer looking for explicit material to exploit to family and work.
Unfortunately, modern technology has made it extremely easy for stalkers to progress to online stalking. The other problem is that, particularly in view of identity fraud, many people lay their lives wide open on social media. Some people think nothing of posting the most intimate details of their lives online for the whole world to see.
For example, when we go away on holiday, we take steps to ensure our mail is not piling up when strangers can easily see it. We stop milk deliveries. In addition, we set up lights to come on and off at certain times of the day and night. However, we think nothing of posting holiday pictures on Instagram while we are away.
So we have seen examples of cyberstalking, but what tactics do cyberstalkers use to harass their victims?
Tactics a Cyberstalker Will Use
Social engineering
This is a method of manipulation. The cyberstalker will trick the victim into giving up private information. Also known as phishing; this could be by means of planting a virus via email. Another method is cold calling and asking for the victim’s date of birth, etc.
Bad acting
Here the cyberstalker will impersonate someone the victim already knows. Or they will create a fake identity to befriend the victim or the victim’s family. The reason to do this is to exhort money, embarrass, harass or distance the victim from friends and family.
Many cyberstalkers will take advantage of the mass of intelligence you can glean online. There are various sources, including Open Source Intelligence (OSINT). This is known as Doxing. As such, there is a mine of readily available public records, databases and search engines for anyone to find online.
Skilled Hackers
The cyberstalker can use a skilled hacker or learn the techniques themselves. Skilled hackers have a multitude of means to gain access to your devices. One simple way is to plant a GPS tracker in your car. This then pings a message to your phone whenever it moves. In actual fact, more skilled hackers can access your computer’s webcam and microphone. As a result, they’ll then monitor your movements and conversations.
Likewise, smartphones are hacked in the same way. The cyberstalker can not only track where your phone is but also clone it. In addition, they can also spoof a phone that is known to you and use it to extract information.
Examples of Victims
Reasons for cyberstalking can vary depending on the perpetrator. A jealous partner can cyberstalk their ex to intimidate them into returning to the relationship. Or to stop them from moving on with their lives.
Jealous ex-partners
One woman living in Glendale, California had noticed she kept accidentally ‘bumping’ into her ex-boyfriend in the most unexpected places. These places ranged from coffee shops, the airport, even the cemetery. She was suspicious and then saw him underneath her car early one morning. He had planted a GPS tracking device in her car which sent signals to his phone. This allowed him to track her every move. When she spotted him, he was in the process of changing the battery.
A second woman was murdered after her stalker was able to find her by using online technology. The man paid an online investigations firm just $154 to find out this woman’s place of work. He went there and shot her. No one at the agency asked why he wanted the information.
Another woman went to the police after several men began contacting her from a local dating site. All the men were looking for casual hookups. All of her personal information was readily available on the online dating site.
Identity fraud
When we think about identity fraud, we automatically assume it is all about money. That the fraudsters want to gather information about their victims in order to scam them into parting with savings. Of course, in many cases, this is true. However, some identity fraud cases are much more complicated.
A journalist writing for Wired.com recounts how her stalker turned to the internet after repeated attempts failed to connect them in the real world. This cyberstalker spoofed her email accounts.
This allowed him to impersonate her online. He sent her hundreds of texts, called her relentlessly, all without her responding. She blocked him on all her social media. However, he ramped up the stalking by attacking her professional career. The police were unable to help as it was not deemed to be a serious threat to her life.
So are there any statistics on the victims of cyberstalking?
Statistics on Cyberstalking
As cyberstalking is a relatively new crime, statistics are rare and not easy to come by. But a national advocacy group has found the following:
  • 50% of all victims were ex-partners of the stalker
  • More than 50% of cyberstalkers are male
  • The majority of victims are Caucasian
  • Most of the victims are aged between 18 and 29 years old
  • Over 30% of cyberstalking starts on social media
How to Protect Yourself Against Cyberstalking
  1. Thankfully, cyberstalking is now regarded as a serious crime. So if you think you are being stalked online, go to the police and report it. In the meantime, here are some tips and guidelines to protect yourself now and in the future.
  2. Use good security protection software to prevent infections from viruses or attacks from infected websites.
  3. Never allow someone physical access to your computer or smartphone.
  4. Create strong passwords for each and every one of your accounts and change them on a regular basis. Don’t share them with anyone. Moreover, don’t use pet names or names that are easily guessable from your social media profiles.
  5. Log out from your computer programs every time you step away from the screen on your PC, laptop and smartphone. Don’t just close the page down.
  6. Use the privacy settings on your social media account properly. This ensures that no one knows your date of birth, where you live, your email address or your phone number.
  7. Don’t tag photographs with your location. Hackers can tell a lot more than just the location from the metadata attached to the picture.
  8. Try Googling yourself using different name combinations to see what information is readily available. If you find that sensitive information is online, contact the website and have it removed.
  9. If a relationship ends, change the passwords on everything you have online. This includes social media accounts and bank accounts.
  10. Don’t be provocative with people you don’t know online. For instance, you wouldn’t go into a pub and start an argument with strangers. Don’t assume it is safe to do so online.
Final thoughts
A lot of advice regarding cyberstalking is common-sense. Use the same safety measures in real life that you would online. For more complicated cases, get the police involved.



Janey Davies


About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.

Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 


No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

Please respect all credits.

Discernment is recommended.

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily


Free counters!



publicado por achama às 02:34
link | comentar | favorito
Sexta-feira, 15 de Novembro de 2019

6 Types of Abuse in Relationships and How to Recognize Them

By Sherrie Hurd


on November 14th, 2019.

types of abuse.

As you know, abuse comes in many forms. In a relationship, there are several types of abuse.
Everyone wishes for a loving and healthy relationship, whether it’s a platonic or intimaterelationship. Healthy relationships involve respect, kindness, selflessness, and many other beneficial qualities. While unhealthy relationships continue to grow worse ignoring most of the good qualities of good unions.
Different types of abuse are sometimes hard to recognize
Recognizing abuse and the different types requires being educated on each one. Many times a husband or wife can go through years of abuse without even knowing the truth.
In many of these situations, one partner is convinced that they are the entire problem, while the fault lies mostly with the other. This is an insidious way of the abuser being able to continue what they’re doing.
What are the different types of abuse?
1. Physical abuse
When you hear the word abuse, what’s the first thing you think of? For most people, that would be physical abuse, but not for everyone.
Physical abuse can be punching, kicking, slapping, strangling, shoving or any similar forms of forced physical contact. Believe it or not, physical abuse can also be neglect or abandonment because it deals with physical aspects.
Physical abuse can also include being restrained against your will or the invasion of your own personal space. The violence of this nature can often lead to severe injuries, hospitalization, or at worst, even death. This is the most common form of domestic violence.
2. Verbal abuse
This form of abuse can be loud or it can be subtle. Verbal attacks include shouting, insults or outward lies. Yes, lies are verbal abuse because they are usually pathological and designed to break down your reserves. Verbal abuse is used to make you think you’re crazy.
This can also be called gaslighting. If you know something to be true and it includes negative aspects about the liar, they will do whatever it takes to make you feel as though you imagined the whole thing. This often overlaps with mental abuse.
3. Mental abuse
Abuse of this caliber can isolate the victim so bad that there will be few people who believe what they’re going through.
Mental/ psychological abuse can also come in the form of gaslighting (making you think you’re crazy), but it can also do so much more damage than taint your reputation. Mental abuse includes lies when the truth is right in front of your face, and these can wear down your mental capacity.
Those who already battle mental illness can become progressively worse when dealing with mental abuse in a relationship. It is true, that someone can tell you lies for so long that even you believe them yourself.
That’s why this sort of abuse is so damaging. It turns you against your own logic, which can be devastating. It can even turn others against you and make them see your abuser as the “good guy”.
4. Sexual abuse
Did you know that sexual abuse can happen in a relationship? Yes, most definitely. Rape can occur as well. If either partner doesn’t want to engage in intimate relations, but it otherwise forced to do so, this is considered rape, or abuse.
While sexual abuse can be a physical act, it can also overlap emotional and mental abuse. Using sex as a way to get what you want, to assign value to your partner, or to insult them is also considered sexual abuse.
Intimacy was designed to do many positive things, but unfortunately, it can be twisted into a heinous form of abuse, whether married or unmarried, even in other related forms.
5. Emotional abuse
Although similar to mental abuse, with some overlapping, emotional abuse has more to do with the feelings than thinking. With this type of abuse, the victim’s feelings are often ignored when they don’t align with what the partner feels.
Control is a huge part of emotional abuse, where one partner tries to have reign over every aspect of their partner’s life. Control in emotional abuse can include financial control, where the partner isn’t allowed to work or have a bank account.
Sometimes this control develops due to past circumstances or jealousy, but it’s still emotional abuse. Other forms of emotional abuse involve making your partner feel worthless with insults and neglect. This includes racism, sexism, and making jokes about someone’s native language.
Most of the time, people outside of the relationship will have no idea any of this is going on until it becomes severe.
6. The abuse of addiction
The reason this type of abuse is mentioned here is that it can affect more than the person who is caught in its grips. Alcoholism or drug abuse damages the user, the user’s family, and many others who may be around the user.
In your relationship, if your partner is addicted to alcohol or drugs, or even other things, it’s best to seek professional help. Addiction tends to be an extremely difficult type of abuse to conquer.
Recognizing the abuse in relationships
It’s fairly easy to recognize types of abusive behavior when reading the categories above. If you’re experiencing physical discomfort, it could be physical or sexual abuse. If you’re starting to think you’re worthless or contemplating suicide, you could be experiencing a number of these types.
You see, all types of abuse overlap somewhere, so there could be symptoms of more than one type going on in your life.
One way to discover whether or not you’re being abused is if you’ve been labeled as “crazy” by your loved one. This label often masks all the other symptoms of abuse and it’s hard to get to the truth when gaslighted. If you’ve been told you’re crazy, this is a red flag. Seek help immediately to discover the truth of your relationship.
Take back control and take back your life!
Sherrie Hurd.




About the Author: Sherrie Hurd

Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She is an advocate for mental health awareness and nutrition. Sherrie studied Psychology, Journalism, and Fine Arts, receiving an Associates in Marketing. She has written for Beacon, a southern college publication, and is an author of a full-length non-fiction novel. Sherrie spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse.
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.

Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 


No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

Please respect all credits.

Discernment is recommended.

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily


Free counters!

publicado por achama às 03:39
link | comentar | favorito

.mais sobre mim



.Junho 2020







.posts recentes

. 8 Emotional Manipulation ...

. Cyberstalking: Examples, ...

. 6 Types of Abuse in Relat...


. Junho 2020

. Maio 2020

. Abril 2020

. Fevereiro 2020

. Janeiro 2020

. Novembro 2019

. Junho 2019

. Maio 2019

. Janeiro 2019

. Dezembro 2018

. Janeiro 2018

. Agosto 2017

. Julho 2017

. Abril 2015

. Março 2015

. Fevereiro 2015

. Janeiro 2015

. Outubro 2014

. Agosto 2014

. Julho 2014

. Maio 2014

. Abril 2014

. Dezembro 2013

. Março 2013

. Janeiro 2013

. Agosto 2012

. Julho 2012

. Junho 2012

. Abril 2012

. Março 2012

. Fevereiro 2012

. Janeiro 2012

. Dezembro 2011

. Novembro 2011


. todas as tags

blogs SAPO

.subscrever feeds