Terça-feira, 19 de Novembro de 2019

Why Ghosting People Can Be Damaging and 6 Reasons Why Ghosters Do It

Sherrie Hurd.


Posted November 18, 2019.


Having you ever heard of ghosting people? Well, it has nothing to do with the supernatural. It’s something much more heinous.
Relationships can be beautiful things, but some of them do not last. I’ve always heard that some breakups are so bad that they feel the same as grieving the loss of a loved one, and in a way we have. But there is something even worse than a breakup. Can you imagine? Some people turn to ghosting in order to get rid of their love interest.
What is ghosting and why do some people do it?
Do you know what it means to go ghost on a boyfriend? Well, if not, here’s the low down…and, by the way, it’s a really is a low down way to go. Ghosting means realizing that you’re not interested in the person your dating or in a relationship with, and instead of breaking up with them, you just disappear.
Going ghost on people means just leaving, not returning texts or calls, and avoiding any human contact at all. You give you reasons and it’s always a sudden decision. It’s as if you wake up one morning and decide you have to get away from the relationship.
If you’ve been ghosted before, you know the level of pain it causes, but if not, can you imagine how devastating it can be to be left in the dark? It can be extremely damaging. So why? Why must we leave people with no explanations about the breakup? Are we evil people? Let’s take a look.

Why are we ghosting people?

1. Avoiding confrontation
The number one reason why most people ghost others is that they are afraid of confrontation or they just hate it. Facing someone and telling them that you want to break up is never easy. Let’s face it, looking into their eyes has to be pretty hard. Then you have to think about all the questions they’ll have and the crying.
Many people want to avoid all this awkwardness and just disappear. While avoiding confrontation may be easier for the ghoster, it’s horrible for the one who has no idea what’s going on. Even though the break up would be hard, it would be easier than being left with nothing to go on. Healing would be much harder.

2. Attempting to save feelings
Some people think it hurts less to just go ghost. They feel that the break up hurts the other person’s confidence and self-esteem. While the self-esteem may take a temporarily hit, it can be healed with time. When you ghost someone, these people have nothing to go on, and they can try to figure it out for themselves, creating all sorts of much worse scenarios.
The truth is, maybe you just feel you’re not a good match, this is not as bad as leaving someone guessing at all the terrible things they must have done to warrant being ghosted. Do you see? Unfortunately, some people just have it all turned backward when it comes to ending relationships.

3. Negative past experiences
Some people feel that ghosting is the better route because they’ve had some really bad face to face or phone break-ups. Maybe they were insulted, begged or even attacked after telling their girlfriend the relationship was over. The truth is, you never really know what’s going to happen when you confront them. But, even if you’ve had bad past experiences, it’s still not the right thing to do.
Even though phone calls or texts are not as personal and respectful as face to face talks, if you’ve had a bad history of break-ups, at least don’t just disappear. It can leave scars that may not go away and follow them into their next relationship. Did you know that ghosting a person can even damage their trust for the next fellow? That’s not fair.

4. Severe narcissism
Here we are again, talking about the narcissist. Seems like they tend to do many heinous things when they are on the selfish side of the spectrum. If you’ve followed many of the articles here about narcissistic personality disorder or similar topics, you will remember that this type of narcissism includes the lack of empathy. Empathy is where you’re considerate of other people’s feelings.
Many people ghost the ones they’ve been dating because they simply don’t care and just want to get it over with. Sometimes, in their minds, it’s just like throwing away something that is no longer useful to them. But, of course, that’s just what narcissists of this nature do.

5. The fear of commitment
I’ve actually witnessed this before, and it’s really strange to me. This also primarily deals with couples who are entering a new level in their relationship. It also doesn’t have to do with just marriage. It can also be the fear of commitment to one person that causes the ghoster to run away.
Many times, people like this think they are incapable of loving one person, or fear they will fail at being a spouse. Also, if they’ve been married before or in a committed relationship which failed horribly, they are prone to ghost on you as well.
Although it’s wrong, this reason is more out of fear than not caring about the other person. Sometimes these people even come back. But after all that, would you really want to see them again?
6. No respect
Sometimes people enter into relationships and discover extremely negative qualities about each other. One partner may have such bad qualities that it’s almost impossible to endure. This usually means the relationship is not going to last. So, the proper thing to do would be to break up, right?
Well, in some cases, instead of breaking up with a person you’ve lost respect for, you may just ghost them. Even though ghosting people is bad, you may feel like the person is so horrible that it doesn’t matter. Unfortunately, losing all respect for your partner may have you wanting to just disappear.

Is it ever right to ghost people?
Honestly, it’s rarely ever a good thing to just disappear on someone you’ve dated. Only in severe circumstances where you fear for your life should you ever consider going ghost.
I urge you to be brave, and if your relationship is going under, go to your partner and discuss what should be done. If you have to break up with them, it’s better to have enough care to tell them to their face, or at least a phone call or text. Try to never leave someone hanging…yes just don’t go ghost.
I think you understand now.

Sherrie Hurd
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