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Segunda-feira, 18 de Maio de 2020
‘Is My Child a Psychopath?’ 5 Signs to Watch Out For
‘Is My Child a Psychopath?’
5 Signs to Watch Out For
Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)
https://www.learning-mind.com
May 18th, 2020.
Are you worried about your child? Have you noticed a disturbing mean streak in them? Are they not fazed by punishment? Have you ever been so frightened of your child’s behaviour that you start to ask yourself, ‘Is my child a psychopath?’
‘Is My Child a Psychopath?’ – How to Recognize the Signs
Adult psychopaths fascinate us, but they must have come from somewhere. So, would you be able to recognise psychopathic traits in your child?
Historically, studies into child psychopathy have been carried out retrospectively. In other words, we take the adult psychopath and look into his or her childhood. Adult psychopaths can share several traits common in childhood. The MacDonald Triad suggested three such significant traits:
- Bed-wetting
- Cruelty to animals
- Fire-setting
However, subsequent research has criticised the MacDonald Triad. Instead, studies have shown that traits such as ‘callous disregard’ are more common in children who go onto exhibit psychopathy as adults.
“I remember when I bit my mom really hard, and she was bleeding and crying. I remember feeling so happy, so overjoyed—completely fulfilled and satisfied.” Carl*
Adult Psychopathic Traits vs Child Psychopathy
Speaking of adults, adult psychopathic traits are well-documented. We know that psychopaths tend to exhibit certain behaviours.
Adult Psychopathic Traits
The Mayo Clinic defines psychopathy as:
“A mental condition in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the rights and feelings of others.”
Psychopaths make up about 1% of the population. Around 75% are male and 25% female.
Psychopaths share many characteristics. In fact, the Hare Checklist is a specific list of psychopathic traits. The most common adult psychopathic traits are:
- Lying and manipulation
- Lack of morals
- No empathy
- Superficial charm
- Narcissism
- Superiority complex
- Gaslighting
- Lack of conscience
So do children share these same traits as their adult counterparts?
“I wanted the whole world to myself. So I made a whole entire book about how to hurt people. I want to kill all of you.” Samantha*
Child Psychopathy
Well, society does not label children as psychopaths. Instead, children with ‘dark traits’ are described as ‘callous and unemotional’. Experts use this callous-unemotional behaviour (CU behaviour) to form a diagnosis.
Examples of Callous Unemotional Behaviour in Children:
Studies into antisocial behaviour in children have captured several common traits in children as young as 2 years old:
- A lack of guilt after misbehaving
- No difference in behaviour after punishment
- Constant lying
- Sneaky behaviour designed to mislead you
- Selfish and aggressive behaviour when they don’t get what they want
Further research has led to the Youth Psychopathic Traits Inventory (YPI), which is similar to the Hare Checklist. Adolescents answer a series of questions which are then scored to measure the following personality traits:
- Sense of grandiosity
- Lying
- Manipulation
- Callous nature
- No remorse
- Insincere charm
- Unemotionality
- Thrill-seeking
- Impulsiveness
- Irresponsible nature
Children and adolescents that exhibit many of the above CU traits are more likely to commit anti-social behaviour as young adults and end up in prison.
“Don’t let me hurt you, Mom.” Kevin*
Is a Child Psychopath a Product of Nature or Nurture?
There are some experts that believe child psychopaths are born this way. However, others think it is more likely to be a mixture of genes and environment.
Philosopher John Locke first suggested that children are ‘blank slates‘, filled with experiences from their parents and interactions with their environment. But children are more than that. They come with their own readymade personality. This core personality then interacts with family, friends, and society. The environment shapes this core personality into the adults we become.
So what can cause a child to become a psychopath?
What Are the Causes of Child Psychopathy?
Early childhood abuse
One of the strongest indications of child psychopathy is early abuse in childhood. In fact, neglected, abused, or children that grew up in dysfunctional environments are more likely to show psychopathic tendencies later on.
Attachment issues
Separation from a parent or primary caregiver can have devastating effects on a child. We know that it is essential to form an attachment with our parents. However, the parent in question could suffer from addiction or mental health problems.
In fact, studies show that young female psychopaths are likely to have come from dysfunctional home lives.
Victimisation
On the other hand, young male psychopaths are more likely to have been victimised at an early age. The perpetrator carrying out the victimisation can be a parent or the child’s peers. This reasoning confirms what we already know, in that victims of bullying will often become bullies themselves.
Different brain structure
Other studies propose that children who show CU behaviours have differences in their brain structure. This supports the theory that suggests adult psychopaths have different brains to the rest of us.
Children with CU traits have less grey matter in the limbic system. This system is responsible for processing emotions. They also have an underactive amygdala. Someone with an undersized amygdala has problems recognising emotions in others. Therefore, they lack empathy.
“Kill John and Mommy with them (knives). And Daddy.” Beth*
5 Signs Your Child Is a Psychopath
So we can understand some of the causes behind child psychopathy. But if you ask yourself, ‘Is my child a psychopath?’, what signs should you be looking out for?
1. Superficial charm
These children can appear charming but they are mimicking what they’ve seen other people do. The only reason they appear to be charming is to get what they want.
One way you can identify superficial charm in children is to watch their reactions when someone else is upset or distressed. In normal circumstances, seeing someone upset will be in itself upsetting to a child. They will try and comfort whoever is upset. If your child is a psychopath, they won’t care and it certainly won’t upset them.
2. Lack of guilt or remorse
Children with CU behaviour use their charm to manipulate others. If they want something, they will do anything in their power to get it. If this happens to hurt another person in the process, so be it. They don’t understand that their actions have consequences. All they know is that the world is there for them. Therefore, they can do whatever they want.
So look out for selfishness in your child, one that is not prepared to share with others and one that acts aggressively if their needs are not met.
3. Prone to aggressive outbursts
Most parents are used to toddler tantrums, but the aggressive outbursts from child psychopaths are much more than tantrums. If you feel frightened of your own child’s capabilities, it’s a sign of psychopathy.
One other thing to point out is that these outbursts will come from nowhere. For instance, one minute, everything is fine, the next, your child is threatening you with a knife if you don’t get them a new puppy. The outburst is a massive overreaction to the situation.
4. Immune to punishment
Brain scans have shown that reward systems in callous children are overactive, but they are unable to recognise the usual signs of punishment. This leads them to focus doggedly on their own pleasure without being able to stop, even if it means hurting someone. Moreover, they know that if they get caught, they’ll be reprimanded.
We usually temper our behaviour to match the consequences of our actions. If your child is a psychopath, they know the consequences – they just don’t care.
5. No empathy for others
Does your child seem flat behind the eyes? Do you look at them and wonder if they are capable of loving you? It’s not that they don’t know what love is, they just don’t experience it.
Child experts believe that inactivity in the amygdala is to blame. More interestingly, we know that babies, when given the choice, would rather look at human faces than something like a red ball. Studies reveal that children who exhibit CU behaviour prefer the red ball to a face.
“I choked my little brother.” Samantha*
Can a Child Psychopath Be Cured?
So can child psychopaths ever be cured? Probably not. But their behaviour can be modified.
Research has shown that children with CU behaviour do not respond to punishment. However, because their reward centre in the brain is overactive, they do respond to incentives. This is cognitive morality. So while the child may never recognise emotions or understand empathy, they do have a system that rewards them for good behaviour.
Final Thoughts
Nature or nurture, brain abnormalities, or neglect in childhood. Whatever the reason, seeing callous disregard in children is particularly horrifying. But it doesn’t have to mean a life sentence. So if you suspect that your child is a psychopath, you should know that with proper therapy, even the coldest of children can live a relatively normal life.
References:
*Names changed.
About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
Archives:
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A Trusty with Privacy Search
All articles are of the respective authors or publishers responsibility.
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
Sexta-feira, 15 de Maio de 2020
How the Law of Reciprocity Works and Practical Ways to Use It
How the Law of Reciprocity Works and Practical Ways to Use It
Jamie Logie, B. Sc.
learning-mind.com
May 15th, 2020 .
.The law of reciprocity is all about an action being rewarded with another action in return. But how does this all work exactly, and how do you best use it to benefit your life and the lives of others?
This law is all about spreading to good between us all, and it’s something that more people need to practice. This article will look at how the law of reciprocity works, and some practical ways that you can use it.
What Is the Law of Reciprocity?
The simplest way to look at the law of reciprocity is that you should do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The problem is, this sometimes can take on an ugly form with people only making gestures to get something in return.
This is often used by salespeople who generally have no interest in your betterment and are only out for themselves. They will often give out something for free so the other person feels an obligation to return the favor, which is based around buying a specific product.
We want to ignore this particular aspect that is more about persuasion than it is reciprocity. Instead, we want to focus on reciprocity to spread more joy, support, and caring among one another. This is a law that will usually trigger a positive reaction in another person. When you do even the simplest, kindest gesture, it generally triggers the desire in the person to act similarly.
Reciprocity is about the sense of obligation to return the favor. That may sound like a burden, but we are talking about small, intimate gestures that go a long way in helping us all feel better about ourselves. The act of giving goes a long way in instilling a positive impression in the mind of the other person. And that’s what this is all about; creating as many positive experiences as we possibly can.
What Are Some Ways We Use the Law of Reciprocity Every Day?
You are probably using this law every day, and not even realizing it. A basic example is the idea of a simple smile. When we smile at someone, the other person will usually smile back. Your action is you giving the smile, and the reaction is them returning the smile to you. This is one of the most practical, simple, but still effective ways to practice the law of reciprocity.
We do not understand what other people are going through, and even though they walk around carrying a brave face, they could be suffering on the inside. It’s incredibly powerful what the simple act of a smile can do to another human being and – even for just a moment – it will lift their spirits. That act is returned to you, also causing you a boost in endorphins and a sense of happiness.
This is, of course, the most basic example of this law – but you can see how powerful it really is. Now, you want to continue to put this law into practice as much as possible. What are some other practical ways to use the law of reciprocity?
1. Creating a More Harmonious Home Environment
If things are a bit chaotic in your home, it may seem easier to blow your top than to deal with disastrous situations. Say that you come from work only to discover a mess all around the house. You’re trying to remain calm, but then one of your kids comes running through and knocks a dish off the table, causing it to break. Your child is in near hysterics, and this could end in a total breakdown for everyone, or you could use the law of reciprocity.
It’s not always easy, but in this situation, it would involve not losing your temper and instead, comforting and hugging your child. This would not be the reaction they were expecting while also expecting to be forced to clean it up. Tell your child to go and do something else while you clean it up. It’s not unlikely to find a child resorting to a more peaceful and apologetic situation as they’ve seen the gentle approach you’ve taken and are responding in kind.
By yelling and punishing, you would probably get a similar response. By taking a gentler approach, you allow for inner peace to be created instead of a harsh situation. This is not the easiest thing, but if we do this on a daily level, you will get more positive reactions instead of strife, fear, and anguish.
2. Repay Things as Soon as You Can
This isn’t specifically related to money, but it still applies. One of the most practical ways you can use reciprocity is by returning favors and gestures as soon as you can – even if it’s something small. When you don’t, people can often think you are taking advantage, and that’s the opposite intentions we should go for.
With close friends and family, you may have a little more leeway in the length of time you take to pay someone back because there is a closer intimacy. With people like coworkers or associates, you’ll want to repay them as soon as possible for the reciprocity to work its best.
3. Helping Out A Stranger
We’ve discussed reciprocity with people we are in close contact with, but what does this look like in the outside world with people you don’t know? It’s all about creating the best environment you can in whatever situation you find yourself in. And this can be as simple as holding a door open for a stranger. If it’s an entrance with more than one door, you can be pretty certain they will make sure to hold the next door open for you.
Again, these are small gestures, but reciprocity working like this creates a better sense of community and connection between the people living in it.
Final Thoughts
We all want to live in the most supportive and encouraging society possible. This isn’t always going to be possible, but by practicing the law of reciprocity, we can create the closest semblance to an ideal living situation.
Reciprocity all comes down to being the change you wish to see in the world. If you want joy, kindness, and compassion, it starts with giving it to others. When you do this, you allow it to find its way back to you.
References:
About the Author: Jamie Logie, B.Sc.
Jamie Logie is a certified personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. He holds a bachelor of science (B.Sc.) degree in Kinesiology from the University of Western Ontario, studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".
COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
Archives:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=Jamie+Logie
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=jamie+logie
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
Segunda-feira, 27 de Abril de 2020
The Rare INTJ Female and Her Personality Traits
The Rare INTJ Female and Her Personality Traits
Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)
https://www.learning-mind.com
April 27th, 2020.
Some Myers-Briggs personalities are so rare they deserve closer scrutiny. The INTJ female is one such example.
Making up just under 1% of the world’s population, notable INTJ females include Jane Austin, Susan Sontag, Lise Meitner, and Emily Jane Brontë, to name just a few. So what are the traits of the fascinating INTJ personality?
Traits of an INTJ Female
INTJ stands for Introverted, Intuition, Thinker, and Judgment.
Introverted thinkers
Female INTJs are private individuals who do not act like ‘girly’ girls. They are not interested in being feminine. They don’t care if men notice them for their looks. Instead, they focus on competence and knowledge.
For INTJ women, knowledge is power. They use logic and reasoning over emotions and other people’s feelings. So long as the job is done and done well, it doesn’t bother them if they upset a few people along the way.
They will stand up to authority if they believe authority is wrong. They instinctively know the right way to do things and can get impatient when others need explanations.
Esteem comes from within
INTJ females don’t need validation from other people to raise their self-esteem or confidence. They have an inbuilt sense of self from years of gathering knowledge and gaining qualifications. So it is this that forms her core being and INTJ personality. Not platitudes from friends or lovers.
However, she does enjoy being noticed for her intelligence and will quietly notch up wins in her mental notebook. If she is studying with others, she’ll have to get the best grades. Not to show off, but to prove to herself that she is the best.
A close circle of loyal friends
A woman with the INTJ personality will have a few close friends that she’s known for years, decades probably. These friends know to give her space, and not to take offence at her dry comments. They know not to turn up uninvited and that the best gift to buy for her is a book on whatever she’s currently studying or interested in.
Leads from the back
INTJ females are natural leaders, but not in an alpha-male kind of way. They steer from the back of the room, quietly but purposefully, guiding others to the same conclusions as theirs.
These women don’t care about the court of public opinion. In fact, they’re quite happy sticking their neck out in opposition to the view of the crowd, if they know they’re right. And, they always know they’re right.
Confident and independent
The typical INTJ female is a confident and independent woman who doesn’t need a partner to make her whole. She’s perfectly happy to be on her own. Actually, she’d rather be alone than in a restricting relationship.
Growing up, the INTJ teenager will rebel against what she considers to be unfair and unjust. She’s used to being separate, an outsider if you will. In fact, she has known from an early age she is different.
You can easily spot an INTJ girl at school. When all the other pupils are working on their chosen projects of dogs, cats, or football, she’s engrossed in her electricity project.
Hard exterior, soft centre
But scratch the surface and there’s a wonderful depth to her understanding. If an INTJ woman folds you into her inner circle, it’s likely you’ll never leave or need another friend again. However, you have to break through her tough, self-constructed barrier first. After all, it’s there to protect her fragile heart. Because once this woman falls in love, it’s forever.
So she sets herculean tests to potential suitors. Pass these tests and you will be allowed entry into her sacred inner circle. Those that fail were never her type in the first place.
3 Struggles of an INTJ Female
The INTJ female is a fascinating character. A contradiction, a paradox, a puzzle to be solved if you will. She’s set herself up this way to dispense with those timewasters. She’s full of quirks, qualities, and intriguing traits. But that’s not to say she doesn’t have her own personal struggles in life.
INTJ female at work
I’ve already established that this female doesn’t do well with authority. Especially if she sees incompetence or a better way to do things. A woman with the INTJ personality type is not afraid of calling out the top bosses for their faults. But she won’t understand why this does her no favours with fellow workers.
I mean, doesn’t everyone want the best solution to a problem? Does it matter who comes up with the idea so long as it works? This woman has no guile. She won’t play party politics and although she may get the result she wanted, she’ll be hurt by her colleague’s reactions to her.
The other problem a female INTJ will face is that because of her standoffish nature, people will think she is a snob. Her co-workers may think that she looks down on them. When in fact, the reverse is true. Anyone grafting an honest day’s work has her admiration. It’s laziness that appals her.
INTJ females and friends
Her friends will be few and far between, but she’ll have known them for decades. These friends will be fiercely defensive of her, and they’ll have to be because this female doesn’t take fools gladly.
An INTJ woman also has a dry, dark sense of humour. She delivers her punchlines with aplomb, with her sharp, cutting tongue. Once you get to know her, you get this dark humour. Remember, her humour is one way of weeding out timewasters.
Another point is that an INTJ will want nothing to do with the types who post selfies on social media. Or those who try and garner sympathy from others’ tragedies. She knows that to be a well-rounded person you need validation from the inside, and not other people’s opinions.
INTJ females and relationships
As I said earlier, this woman won’t settle just to be in a relationship. She’d much rather be on her own. A female INTJ may not want children either. Actually, you could say she doesn’t really have a maternal bone in her. But she does love animals. And she may have several pets that she adores.
Men would say this woman is a hard nut to crack. She’ll need a partner that she believes is superior to her. She likes a challenge and, therefore, she can’t date someone of lesser intelligence.
Final Thoughts
I would like to finish with a quote that perfectly sums up the INTJ female:
“And the princess lived happily ever after in her own big castle with all of her own money and she took care of herself. The End.”
Are you an INTJ? Do you relate to the description above? Please share your thoughts with us.
References:
Janey Davies
About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
Archives:
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A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
Quarta-feira, 22 de Abril de 2020
7 Signs of People Who Lack Empathy and Examples of Their Behavior
7 Signs of People Who Lack Empathy and Examples of Their Behavior
Lauren Edwards-Fowle,
M.Sc. & B.Sc.
learning-mind.com
Posted March 21st, 2020.
.A lack of empathy makes it hard to engage in a meaningful relationship with a person. Being empathetic is an innate human quality, whereby we can appreciate the feelings of other people, regardless of whether those feelings also affect us. What about those who lack empathy?
Why do some people lack empathy?
Being unable to show empathy is often linked to low emotional intelligence. This means that if someone in your life seems unable to relate to how you are feeling, it might not be deliberate.
Having low emotional intelligence means that a person does not have the resources to be able to grasp feelings outside of the spectrum of their own experience. This is similar to a very young child, who has not yet reached emotional maturity. They are the center of their universe and do not feel a response when somebody else is emotional.
In other cases, having little or no empathy can be a trait of a narcissistic person or somebody suffering from an anti-social behavior condition.
Signs of people who lack empathy and examples of their behavior in everyday life:
1. Lack of close relationships
Someone unable to relate to others will find it very difficult to establish long-term relationships. They may have no or very few friends and struggle to maintain a bond even with their immediate family members. This is because a lack of empathy extends to everybody. Thus, they might not feel the emotional bond or familial connection that most of us experience.
Have you ever had a colleague who doesn’t ever contribute to a birthday collection, or won’t bother to sign a card for a sick colleague? They probably don’t see why they should inconvenience themselves with the concerns of other people.
2. Unusual responses to grief
Having no empathy can show through in times of distress. If you have suffered a bereavement, and somebody in your life does not seem interested or offer any kind of condolences, they probably cannot relate to your grief.
As an example, if you have lost a pet that you loved very much, most people will feel sorry for you and understand the sadness and sense of loss you will be feeling. A person without any empathy will not understand why you are upset, and might even make unkind comments.
3. An inability to share in others’ happiness
Here is another example of a behavior that is typical for a person who lacks empathy. If you have had a baby, celebrated graduating, or become engaged, your friends, colleagues, and family will be delighted for you! If there is somebody who doesn’t seem particularly interested or has not offered any congratulations, they may lack the empathy to appreciate your happiness.
It is a sad by-product that someone experiencing this is unable to share in others’ joy. It works in a similar way to being unable to relate to grief.
4. A strong set of irrefutable personal beliefs
An individual who cannot relate to emotions often has a very firm stance on their own beliefs. Thus, they will find it extremely difficult to accept in any situation that they might be wrong. If you have ever had a conversation with a person who will argue black is white – seemingly for the sake of it – they might simply lack the capacity to relate to your argument.
Lacking any kind of emotional maturity renders a person incapable of reconsidering their ideas, or understanding that they might not be right.
5. Egotistical
With an absence of empathy comes a strong sense of self. A person who cannot empathize will likely be very egotistical, as they prioritize themselves in every situation. People may have an inflated ego for many reasons. However, in case of those with low emotional intelligence, this stems from emotional immaturity.
So an emotionally immature adult will often behave in a childish manner. These kinds of people crave attention all the time, act irresponsibly and are unable to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. This could apply to anything, and some examples of this behavior include pushing in the line at the coffee shop to driving inconsiderately.
6. A sense of entitlement
This trait is particularly noticeable in a group dynamic. A person who lacks empathy will often talk endlessly about him/herself. They will brush off any turn in the conversation that does not center on them. This behavior is known as conversational narcissism, and many people can have it without actually being narcissists.
You may know a few examples of such people in your life. You might notice a friend who will ask continually for favours, without any expectation of returning them. It might be that they simply do not understand why they should invest comparable effort into the relationship, and nor consider how their actions might be making you feel.
7. Reacting awkwardly to emotion
Whilst there are many reasons why people find it hard to know how to respond to emotion, people who can’t make an emotional connection will struggle to react in an appropriate way.
Sometimes, emotional outbursts might be a little over the top, and potentially embarrassing. However, hiding your feelings is never healthy, and a few tears to cope with a stressful situation is an ordinary reaction. People who cannot empathize will not know what to do in this circumstance, and will often try to distance themselves completely.
Life without empathy
It can be just as hard to try and get along with someone who doesn’t seem to care about anything but themselves, as it can be being a person who doesn’t grasp the basic human reaction of empathy.
Not being able to relate to your partner, not understanding why people feel a certain way, and being unable to consider any thought process other than your own is a very isolating way to live.
Try not to take it personally; not everyone has reached emotional maturity, and sadly, some people never will. A lack of empathy is not a reflection on you, or the authenticity of your feelings, but is an unfortunate inability to appreciate them.
References:
Lauren Edwards-Fowle
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=Lauren+Edwards-Fowle
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=lauren+edwards-fowle
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: behavior, emotions, empathy, happiness, lauren edwards-fowle, personal beliefs, personality, relationships
How to Handle Nosy Neighbors as an Introvert
How to Handle Nosy Neighbors as an Introvert
Becky Storey.
https://www.learning-mind.com/
April 22th, 2020
.Having neighbors can be great. They could be built-in friends that come with your new home and end up being your closest friends for life. They’re helpful to have around too. Neighbors will watch your house while you’re away and can be your first call in an emergency. Friendly neighbors are a very coveted thing because there’s nothing worse than bad, nosy neighbors.
Nosy neighbors can turn your dream home into a haunted house. There are a few kinds of nosy, invasive neighbors. There are the window watchers, the question askers and the can I borrowers just to name a few. It’s difficult to avoid a nosy neighbor. They think that by living next door to you, they’re part of the family like they have automatic rights to your personal life.
Introverts like to keep their personal lives just that, personal. This makes nosy neighbors the bane of an introvert’s existence. They ruin your sacred home life, and as an introvert, it can feel impossible to confront them.
4 Ways You Can Handle Nosy Neighbors as an Introvert
1. Be the Bigger Person
“Rise above it”, our parents always told us as kids. Don’t sink to their level, they said. Turns out, that advice still holds up even as adults. The very best way to handle nosy neighbors that you don’t like is to stay level-headed and always be the mature one. Introverts hate confrontation and conflict, so to preserve your mental wellbeing, never let your disagreements become more than that.
Neighbors can make your life a nightmare if you let them. At worst, they can even get the police and lawyers involved in your conflicts. When tensions start to arise between you and your nosy neighbors, keep in mind that keeping the peace is always the best option. Just like having tensions within your home, neighbors aren’t much different. You can’t escape them, so your best option is to be civil.
When they’re being nosy, or noisy, or downright rude, try your best to stay polite. It might feel near impossible, and you’ll be fighting the urge to scream, but it’ll be for the best in the long term.
Avoid being aggressive, loud, or rude. Try to compromise as much as you can bring yourself to. If their demands don’t affect you too much, consider letting them have it. “Pick your battles, you can’t fight them all” my Mother would say.
2. Set Clear Boundaries
Introverts often struggle to be honest about their feelings, especially if they think they won’t be met with understanding. This leads to becoming “yes people”, and mental exhaustion.
Some nosy neighbors seem to live to push your boundaries. They stare a little too long. They ask a few too many and too invasive questions. They ask for a few too many favors. When we’re trying to keep the peace, we might be inclined to let them get away with these kinds of behaviors, but you don’t have to. It is possible to be polite and still speak up for yourself.
A part of being a mature adult is learning how to shut down nosy people without upsetting anyone. You can do this by simply remaining kind, even if your words aren’t.
If you spot a nosy neighbor doing something you don’t like, you are in every right to ask them to stop. In a polite calm way, you simply say “I’ve noticed you doing this, and it makes me quite uncomfortable. Do you mind not doing it anymore?” Chances are, anyone approached like this would feel genuinely apologetic and a little embarrassed for being so weird.
3. Answer Their Invasive Questions
It might sound a bit backward, but a simple way of keeping nosy neighbors at bay is to give them a little of what they want. As an introvert, it can be really difficult to speak up and tell other people to back off. If that’s something you struggle with, you can instead learn to answer in limited ways.
When a nosy neighbor asks questions that you don’t want to answer, respond with as few words as you like but keep a smile. Then you can quickly exit the situation, and they’ll be none the wiser. You’ll come across as friendly, just busy.
4. Be Honest about You
If you’re willing, you could find ways to let your over-eager nosy neighbors know that your home is a sacred space. Simple anecdotes slipped into a conversation will (hopefully) help them to see that you want to be left alone.
You could let them know that you’re a homebody and that you enjoy being undisturbed when you’re at home. If they have a habit of peering over your garden fence and asking too many questions, you can also make it clear that your garden is a quiet space too.
3 Quick Fixes for Handling Nosy Neighbors
1. Pretend You Didn’t Hear Them
If you’re looking to quickly escape a nosy neighbor, you can pretend you don’t hear or see them. Don’t respond to their calls, and don’t make eye contact. You could also wear a hat or sunglasses to disguise your eyes and add headphones, so they easily assume you didn’t hear them and not that you’re avoiding them.
2. Be Nosy Back
It might be petty, but sometimes if you can’t beat them, join them. If you catch a nosy neighbor watching you and your house, do it back. If they ask too many questions, do the same to them. Chances are, they’ll be so uncomfortable that they’ll stop doing the invasive things they do, just to keep you away!
3. Block Their View
If you’re looking for a quick fix that doesn’t involve scaring the introvert inside you, then there are a few physical ways to stop nosy neighbors. The easiest way to prevent a nosy neighbor from seeing you is to block what they can see.
You can buy grown trees and hedges to surround your fences. You can also buy curtains and veils that won’t block your light but will block their view through your windows.
Don’t Let Your Nosy Neighbors Ruin Your Sacred Home Life
No one understands more than an introvert just how important your home is. It’s a sacred place for your mental wellbeing, so any disturbances can be tough to handle. Nosy neighbors can make your home life miserable, but it doesn’t have to go that far. If you follow a few easy steps, you don’t have to hide away or worry about giving up your dream home.
Have you ever had any negative experiences with nosy people living next door? How did you confront them? We would like to hear your thoughts. Please share them with us in the comments below.
Becky Storey
About the Author: Becky Storey
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=Becky+Storey
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=becky+storey
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
Terça-feira, 21 de Abril de 2020
8 Emotional Manipulation Tactics and How to Recognize Them
8 Emotional Manipulation Tactics and How to Recognize Them
Sherrie Hurd, A.A.
learning-mind.com
Posted April 20th, 2020.
.Physical or verbal abuse is easy to recognize because you can see it or hear it. However, emotional manipulation tactics aren’t always obvious.
At some point in our lives, we’ve either witnessed emotional abuse, or we’ve been victims of this heartache. I can attest to being a survivor of a couple of decades of this type of abuse myself. Emotional abuse is hard to see sometimes, and that’s why, in my opinion, it’s one of the worst types of abuse of them all. It also leaves deep scars that only really strong individuals can carry.
Emotional manipulation tactics
Emotional abuse isn’t just a random form of abuse used out of anger or frustration. Not to excuse physical violence or verbal assault, but emotional abuse is sometimes planned and perfected before use. It sounds kind of evil, doesn’t it?
Well, in some cases, it is. In other cases, it comes from a long pattern of abusive behavior through generations. This is why we need to recognize tactics used by emotional abusers to manipulate people, and we need to put a stop to these subtle attacks.
Different tactics used in emotional abuse:
1. Getting close… fast
Individuals who use emotional manipulation tactics tend to act as though they are falling in love with you fast. If it’s not an intimate relationship, they may try to convince you that they are your best friend after only knowing you a short time. So, how does this become abusive?
Well, what happens is they tell you a few really deep things about themselves, and act as if no one else knows this about them. Then they use these secrets to coax information from you! Are you still wondering how this leads to manipulation?
Here’s the thing, what they tell you isn’t all that secret, but your secrets are. They use these things that you tell them to manipulate you, while the things they tell you, many other people already know. You see…it was a trick. Now, they have ammo against you.
2. Twisting facts
Emotional manipulators are experts at twisting facts. If they don’t straight out lie, they will exaggerate, say you said what they said, or simply pretend they never heard you say anything at all. They will lie in creative ways, and push the agenda that something happened in a way that it did not.
Twisting facts, for this type of abuser, is easy for them. They’ve been doing it most of their lives to get what they want and never be responsible.
3. The raised voice distraction
I am familiar with this one, but I only learned about it in the last couple of years. Until last year, I’d never seen a grown man throw a child-like tantrum when caught in the act. Not to give details, but he was using the raised voice distraction and intimidation tactic to get what he wanted… an apology, when he should have been apologizing.
You see, screaming or getting loud is shocking if you’re not used to that sort of behavior in a discussion or confrontation. Emotional manipulators use this tactic when there is nothing else they can use.
It took me a while to recognize what was happening, I stopped apologizing when I wasn’t in the wrong, and I made peace with the fact that he may leave. Truth is, when someone screams, threatens to leave or acts childlike, sometimes it’s best if they leave if they cannot stop. You have to come to terms with this because not only is raising the voice emotional abuse, it’s also verbal abuse as well.
4. Rushing decision making
Okay, this may sound weird, but I also started to catch on to this one lately. Emotional manipulators, when they want to do something they know would upset you, will ask your opinion in a rushed environment.
They will ask you questions as they are walking out the door, or by short text during a work break, or even ask right in the middle of an unrelated conversation. They assume you will just go along with whatever it is because you were caught off guard. Watch out for this seemingly innocent tactic, which is, in fact, emotional manipulation. It’s irritating.
5. Overusing the word “insecure”
No matter what’s bugging you, you must be “insecure”. This is one of the emotional manipulation tactics that drive me crazy. You see, if they are the type to flirt, and you get angry when you see it or find out, they will say you are insecure about getting angry. Here’s a lesson. YOU ARE NOT INSECURE BECAUSE YOU GET ANGRY.
I typed that in all caps so you will understand how important that is to remember. Just because you don’t want certain boundaries crossed by other women or men in your relationship doesn’t mean you are insecure. It means you stick to your morals and standards. And honestly, if they don’t stop using this word, then maybe you don’t need them. I absolutely hate this, and yes, it’s personal.
6. Running out
An emotional manipulator will leave the scene when they realize they haven’t got a chance in winning an argument. They secretly want you to chase after them, and they threaten to leave the relationship too. This is in intimate relationships mostly, of course. They may stay gone a few hours or all night, leaving you worried and nervous.
I think it’s one of the cruelest forms of emotional manipulation. If you’re caught off guard, you will cry and call them over and over trying to get them home. It’s okay, it takes a while to catch on.
Personally, when I decide to leave relationships or friendships, I don’t run out, scream, threaten or anything. I usually just have a nice calm “sit down” and explain that I no longer wish to continue in the relationship anymore. But I think long and hard before making this final decision.
All these theatricals that manipulators use are time wasters and abusive behavior. The next time it happens, try not to be frightened, and maybe even hope they are serious about leaving. You don’t need those games in your life….trust me.
7. Pretending to be dumb
Oh, and adults will pretend to be dumb too. If you tell someone you have boundaries, they will break them, and then say that they never understood exactly what you meant. This releases them from the responsibility of their actions.
They even say they forgot, or try to twist your words about what you did and did not want in a relationship. They play dumb, but you have to be smart, and call them on every single time they try this crap. It’s just one of many tactics of emotional manipulation used by predators. Show them that you know what they are doing.
8. Playing victim
I remember many times laying my standards and boundaries out on the table for the people I loved. I did it in the beginning so they had a chance to run if they wanted to. The problem is, sometimes they agreed to each and every one of the things I held important, only to break them later in the relationship. Then they played the victim when I got angry about broken boundaries and hurts.
You see, unfortunately, some people never plan to respect your boundaries and standards, but they still want to be in a relationship with you. What they do is hope that they can change the way you believe. If you are entering a relationship, please be clear on what you want, and if you both are too different, then just walk away.
Most people don’t change unless they make the decision to do so on their own. If someone is playing victim to you, remind them of the standards and boundaries you set in the beginning, and leave the door open for them if they wish to leave.
Why people who use these emotional manipulation tactics are the worst abusers
Do you know why emotional abuse is worse than any other abuse? It’s because emotional abuse doesn’t harm you physically, it’s more than screaming, and it doesn’t rape you. Emotional abuse goes beyond every muscle and fiber of your being and attacks the essence of who you are.
It makes you question everything. It makes you doubt your worth as well. I would never downplay other forms of abuse because I’ve been through them all, but the emotional abuse makes me angrier than all the others. Once I understand this is happening, I learn not to respond to the call to fight.
You can do this as well. It just takes a little education on the subject and a little practice. Do not let them take away your self-worth, and do not let them make you afraid to be alone. That’s all you need to fight with.
Sending blessings.
Sherrie Hurd
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie+hurd
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=sherrie+hurd
- Also: https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: abuse, behavior, dark personalities, manipulation, mental health, personality, psychology, relationships, sherrie, sherrie h, sherrie hurd
Domingo, 19 de Abril de 2020
5 Signs the Proud Person in Your Life Is Just Arrogant.
5 Signs the Proud Person in Your Life Is Just Arrogant.
Lauren Edwards-Fowle,
M.Sc. & B.Sc.
learning-mind.com
Posted March 19th, 2020.
.Pride is the great quality of appreciating your successes and having confidence in your endeavors. However, when does pride become toxic and become a manifestation of arrogance? Could the proud person you know be just conceited? Do you sometimes feel that your significant other isn’t proud but has reached the tipping point of becoming arrogant?
What is the difference between pride and arrogance? Let’s take a look at how to work out whether a proud person is just conceited.
Defining pride:
The dictionary defines pride as:
“Feeling self-respect or pleasure in something by which you measure your self-worth; or being a reason for pride.”
Feelings of pride reflect your emotions arising from an accomplishment. Feeling proud of yourself is linked to an achievement or success that has rewarded your efforts with positivity.
Pride doesn’t just relate to yourself; you can be proud of others or proud of group achievements. It connects with other feelings, such as honor, dignity, and self-respect. Pride is justifiable and has an identifiable reason.
Confidence is not a bad trait, and being proud of your successes can lead to improvements in self-esteem. The problem, of course, comes with overwhelming pride, and when confidence eclipses those positive character traits and becomes arrogance.
Defining arrogance:
Arrogance is not the same thing as pride; a proud person is not necessarily conceited. Being arrogant is similar to other negative perspectives:
- Vanity
- Conceitedness
- Selfishness
- Disrespectfulness
An arrogant person believes himself or herself to be superior to others, whether or not they have a logical reason to think so. They consider themselves more valuable, their contributions more important, and have excessive expectations of their abilities.
This leads to dominance, an elevated impression of a person’s talent, and a lack of regard or respect for other people around them. Conceitedness is not justifiable, is not necessarily linked to any achievements or successes, and applies only to that person’s opinion of themselves.
Signs that a proud person is just arrogant
1. They demand to be the center of attention
People who have achieved great things have every right to be proud. However, talent speaks for itself, and sometimes the most successful people shy away from the limelight. A conceited person will insist on being the center of attention at all times.
This can manifest as:
- Talking over people in conversation
- Raising their voice to be heard, or drowning out others
- Turning every subject around to talk about themselves
- Having a dominant personality
- Refusing to let anybody else make decisions
2. They feel threatened by other proud people
Somebody who has much to feel confident about will welcome interesting conversations, personal challenges, and meeting new people. If you are confident in yourself and have a healthy level of self-respect, it is unusual to feel intimidated by others.
An arrogant person will often feel ‘at risk’ when confronted with other people who, perhaps, would be able to spot the flaws in their persona and contradict their boasting of accomplishments.
3. They are often irritated or annoyed by people they perceive as weak
Selfish people don’t have much time for others, and will usually try to surround themselves with a social group they consider to be their peers. Conceited people also often attempt to ingratiate themselves with connections with greater achievements than their own, either to gain a higher social status or because they believe themselves to be on a par.
Likewise, an arrogant person will find quieter people or those they consider to be weak an annoyance. They do not have empathy, will not be willing to spend any time with people who don’t further their objectives, and will quickly become frustrated and annoyed.
4. They always believe themselves to be right
Vanity means believing your ideas, suggestions or thoughts to be far superior to those that anybody else could come up with. Arrogant people are uncompromising and extremely difficult to work and live with.
Have you ever seen somebody watching an expert on the news, or viewing a professional sports event, and insist that they know better, or could have done a better job? That is an example of excessive pride, whereby a person truly thinks his or her power of thought, and physical performance is better than anybody else’s – no matter how much evidence there might be to the contrary!
5. They have no respect for other people
If people have an extremely high opinion of themselves, they probably don’t have much room in their psyche for considering anybody else.
A person with excess pride will often show this in lots of small ways, which can conclusively point to their lack of respect for other people:
- Always being late
- Never doing a favor for anybody else
- Having high expectations from the people in their lives
- Being unwilling to show any generosity
- Speaking over people
- Putting the phone down without saying goodbye
- Interrupting constantly
Conclusion
Being proud and confident are not bad qualities to have. Everybody should feel a sense of pride when they have achieved something difficult, or shown resilience and forbearing. However, arrogance is something quite different, and spending a lot of time around it can be draining.
If you think that the proud person in your life may be arrogant, perhaps now is the time to address the problem. They may not realize that their behaviors have gone too far, and being conscious of how they come across could be a wake-up call to reel in the temptation to dominate every relationship.
An innately conceited person might not be capable of change, in which case the best thing to do is to consider your capacity to manage and cope with their personality. If it is harming you, and you constantly feel exhausted by having to make up for their bad behavior, it may be time to start putting yourself first.
Lauren Edwards-Fowle
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=Lauren+Edwards-Fowle
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=lauren+edwards-fowle
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
Quinta-feira, 16 de Abril de 2020
4 Differences Between Antisocial and Introvert: Which One Are You?
4 Differences Between Antisocial and Introvert: Which One Are You?
Becky Storey.
https://www.learning-mind.com/
April 16th, 2020
.Introverts are almost always mistaken for being antisocial. The immediate assumption is that they don’t want to be around others because they don’t like anyone. Their reclusiveness is seen as hostile. Antisocial and introvert could appear similar at surface level, but they aren’t the same at all.
Antisocial people could be introverted or extroverted. Being antisocial refers to your behavior towards others. Introvert and extrovert are labels attributed to the way you think and feel about being around others.
What Are Antisocial and Introvert?
Introvert
Being an introvert means your energy levels are depleted quickly from social interaction. While an introvert might also suffer from social anxiety or even be an antisocial person, the “introvert” label doesn’t require it. Introverts can be confident and happy to socialize within their chosen boundaries.
Antisocial
Introvert and antisocial people differ greatly in their willingness to interact with others. Antisocial people are actively unwilling to interact with others. They are often hostile and angry towards other people. Antisocial people, unlike introverts, have no concern for the unwritten rules of social interactions. They are cynical and unempathetic towards others.
Antisocial people will typically prioritize themselves, their work, or their own fun over friends and socializing.
The Differences Between Antisocial and Introvert
1. Energy Drain
Introverts are defined by their loss of energy when they’re interacting with other people. This could be worst in large crowds, or with one on one meetings. It all depends on the person and the intensity of the interaction. In order to replenish their energy, introverts need to be alone or with a small, peaceful group of people they’re close to.
This can be seen as being antisocial because they might leave parties early, or steer clear of big groups socializing altogether. However, these choices have nothing to do with how much they like or even love the people around them, they’re just avoiding mental exhaustion.
Antisocial people have no concept of the energy drain. Their decision to stay way has nothing to do with their energy, and all to do with how little they like being in the company of others. Antisocial people could be extroverts too. Their energy might not be diminished by being around other people, they just don’t enjoy socializing or interacting with them.
2. Care and Concern
By nature, introverts tend to be very empathetic. They care for other people’s feelings deeply. Introverts are often very aware of their own emotions, and this makes them extra perceptive of the emotions of others. They never want to make others feel the kind of discomfort they do at times, so they always make sure to take care of the feelings of the people around them.
Antisocial people differ in that they have little to no care or concern for the feelings of the people around them. They aren’t interested in how their words or actions affect others. Unlike introverts, antisocial people don’t follow the unwritten rules of society or social niceties.
Introverts will usually struggle to admit when they want to leave a gathering or that they don’t have the energy to attend an event. They feel upset and worried that they might hurt someone. Antisocial people will openly admit that they aren’t having fun, or don’t want to go, with no concern for how it might make anyone else feel.
3. Relationships and Connections
Despite plenty of misconceptions, introverts can have plenty of friends and loved ones they’re close to. Many people assume that introverts are shy and reclusive, but this isn’t necessarily the case.
Introverts might be loners, or they might be friendly social people. Introversion is about energy, not the number of friends you have. Introverts are also presumed to be shy and struggle to make new friends. This is, of course, not true. Introverts could happily make new friends, and easily maintain a fun group of old friends.
Antisocial people, on the other hand, don’t choose to make new connections often and likely maintain a very small circle of friends and family. They would rather be alone as often as possible and don’t feel that their lives would be improved with more relationships or connections.
4. Enjoyment Gained
An important difference between people who are antisocial and those who are introverted is how much or how little they enjoy company. Introverts are often shamed for being “boring” and “never want to have any fun”. Admittedly, introverts might choose quieter activities given the choice, but there’s no reason why an introvert can’t enjoy being social.
Introverts can still be party-goers and fun-lovers and enjoy doing things with their friends and the people they love. They might avoid or be apprehensive about talking to large groups of new people, but that’s only down to the impending exhaustion, not an aversion to socializing.
Antisocial people are typically the complete opposite. They genuinely don’t care for socializing or expect to have fun with groups of people. They might have a small circle of friends, but they likely don’t require their presence for excitement or fun.
For too long now, introverts have been mislabelled as antisocial, and it’s just not fair. Introverts can be exciting, adventurous people who like the company of others. They just keep it within their boundaries and protect their energy. If a person is antisocial, then they aren’t protecting themselves, they just don’t care at all. This is the basic difference between antisocial and introvert.
Becky Storey
About the Author: Becky Storey
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=Becky+Storey
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=becky+storey
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: becky storey, behavior, communication, empathy, introversion, introvert's world, mental health, personality, psychology
Sexta-feira, 21 de Fevereiro de 2020
6 Signs You Are Self-Sabotaging and How to Stop This Toxic Behavior.
6 Signs You Are Self-Sabotaging and How to Stop This Toxic Behavior.
Sherrie Hurd.
learning-mind.com
Posted February 20th, 2020.
.Unfortunately, we can sometimes fall into self-sabotaging behavior. There is more than one reason for that.
At the moment, I feel as if I am sabotaging my life. Just when I think everything is okay, another boulder rolls down the hill and flattens me again. But it’s not a real boulder, it just feels like one. You see, at that moment, I lose all desire for the things that used to make me happy. It’s like I’m waiting for the rocks to stop falling. It’s a possibility that will never happen in my present situation. So, I feel stuck, and thus, I am sabotaging my life in the process.
Toxic aspects of self-sabotaging behavior
Procrastination is part of my behavior. I will sit and binge watch television for hours so I don’t have to face the unfairness and disrespect in my life. Instead, I try to ignore it by losing myself in some fake story on the TV. And there are many other things I do, and others do that prove we are sabotaging our lives – we are wasting precious time by letting what others do govern the next move or the next goal. There are many signs that this is true.
Indicators that you are sabotaging your life
1. You’re choosing comfort over change
Maybe it was once a good situation, the life you’re living right now, but things have been revealed, and it’s no longer the life you thought. In fact, it’s almost unbearable. However, it must not be bad enough for you to change it. I heard this saying once, and don’t remember where, but it fits this perfectly.
Once there was a dog that was sitting on a long sharp nail. A man asked the dog’s owner why the dog didn’t get up off the nail. He said it must be painful for him. The owner said, “when it hurts bad enough, he will move”.
That’s what happens to us. Sometimes we refuse to change because we’re not hurting bad enough yet. Eventually, if things don’t get better, the pain will become too much to take. That’s when we may give up the self-sabotaging behavior and get off that nail that’s driving deep within. That’s when we may make a better life for ourselves.
2. Blame is never allocated correctly
When something happens, you tend to either blame yourself when it isn’t your fault and blame others when it is your fault. This might not be the case 100% of the time, but it’s most of the time. Your focus is on “who did it?” and not on “what can we do to fix it?”.
Self-sabotaging behavior not only affects your life, but it also affects other people as well. When children are involved, it’s just confusing for them. After all, you’re trying to teach them the correct way to take responsibility.
3. You always want to fix people
I’ve spent two decades of my life in relationships fixing men. Let me tell you, it’s exhausting and it has taken a huge portion of my youth. It’s as if those years just went poof! right in front of me. I’m not trying to be insulting to anyone, it’s just that, I should have laid out the rules about who I am and then left if my expectations weren’t met.
Did I do that? No. Instead, I thought I could help them, change them, improve their standards in life. That was just so silly, and it still is.
Trying to fix people is like trying to nail jello to the wall. It just doesn’t stick, it doesn’t stay, and it makes a huge mess. Also, when you’re busy trying to fix people, you lose so much time on the things that matter the most, like your children and unconditional people in your life.
4. You’re using others to compare
I work at this all the time. I don’t find it as difficult as being judgemental, actually. Maybe I am too busy judging people to be jealous of them. However, every once in a while, I see happy people and wish I was like that. I see them smiling on social media and hugging loved ones. The picture says that their lives are perfect, but I know that those images are not the full truth.
But every once in a while, I sabotage my feelings when seeing marriages, Valentine’s gifts, and people who seem to have lots in common. I compare those things to the differences in my life, and I catch myself wishing my family was closer. It’s like falling into a trap, and then destroying yourself while you’re in there. It can be ruthless.
5. You magnify the negative
You never fail to notice every single negative thing that happens, but the positive things slip right by so easily. To be fair, many times, the negative things are things that happen over and over no matter how many times you’ve asked for them to stop, or how many times you’ve worked on making it better.
This makes it incredibly hard to see the victories as wins. In response to this, you develop depression and anxiety trying to make things work. You don’t mean to do it, but you sabotage any hope you could have by moving forward.
6. Worrying about what others think
I don’t do this much, but when I do, I make sure I worry incessantly. I guess you might say, I only worry about the things that will affect me personally. No, I don’t worry about what people think of my style or my hobbies, but I do worry about the fact that people probably think I am mean.
I can thank the men trying to manipulate those thoughts in my head. I am introverted, and most of us really don’t care about what others think, but sometimes, we would like to be accepted the way we are, and we sabotage ourselves trying to be something we’re not.
Okay, so, how are we going to stop this?
Well, first of all, we all need some time alone to think. We need to figure out if the place we’re at is our true destination, or are we supposed to make a change. This knowledge may take some time. Like I said about the dog, when it hurts bad enough, you will get up, and get out of the situation.
We should never forget what makes us happy as individuals. This doesn’t include what makes our husbands or wives happy. This is about us and us alone.
We should also make sure to take full responsibility for our actions but refuse to take responsibility for what someone else has done. Don’t let anyone convince you that something they’ve done is your fault. That can be a form of gaslighting. And having a healthy amount of care about how people think of you is okay. It does matter, but not to the point that you have to conform to a dress code or majority standard.
And then remember to be positive once in a while. Even though someone may be driving you crazy with their idiocy, try to see the good in every single moment. If you can’t see good where you’re sitting, leave the room and find it somewhere else.
I hope this has helped you to stop sabotaging your life. As for me, I’m still working on it, and I’m telling you, when I get it worked out, I don’t plan on making these same mistakes. Let’s hope not.
Be blessed.
Sherrie Hurd
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie+hurd
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A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: behavior, mental health, negative thinking, personality tests, psychology, relationships, self-confidence, self-improvement, self-knowledge, sherrie, sherrie h, sherrie hurd
Terça-feira, 11 de Fevereiro de 2020
The Cult of Spiritual Materialism: Have You Become Its Victim?
The Cult of Spiritual Materialism:
Have You Become Its Victim?
Becky Storey.
https://www.learning-mind.com/
February 10, 2020
.Spiritualism is growing in popularity as we seek more answers and comfort in these trying times. Unfortunately, no everyone is following the spiritual path for the right reasons, or in a genuine way. There is no correct way to practice your spiritualism, but there are certainly incorrect ways. Spiritual materialism is being actively encouraged at every turn.
If you’re taking on a new, enlightened path, chances are that you’ve already come across a few traps. Spirituality teaches us self-forgiveness and a non-judgemental attitude, though. Apply these principles when considering whether you have become a victim of spiritual materialism. We can all be swayed easily at times.
What Is Spiritual Materialism?
A person becomes spiritually materialistic when they develop materialistic and shallow desires in the pursuit of spirituality. The ego tends to use spiritualism for its own gain, to fulfill the need to be special or interesting.
Our egos are the parts of our identities created by external influences, like comments from others, possessions, and achievements. This conceited part of us takes advantage of spirituality. We are in an era of “new-age spiritualism”, where the original traditions are being forgotten and replaced with modern ideas – and not always good ones.
Spiritually materialistic people are likely to be using the popularity of spiritualism to boost their own sense of self. Living a spiritual kind of lifestyle gives some people a feeling that they are above others, sometimes even God-like. Instagram “gurus” are popular but are, in fact, benefitting from spiritual materialism.
If your spiritualism requires the rest of the world seeing it, sponsorships and merchandise, then it’s likely not spiritualism at all. It’s pandering to a market the world seems to want right now.
We’re often sold “tools” to further our spiritual journey, but these things only add to the materialism. True spiritualism happens within and doesn’t require external resources. We convince ourselves that we need “things” to boost our connection with the spiritual realm, but these things only boost our ego and decay our self-awareness. We show off our possessions like trophies, to compete with others to prove who is the most spiritual.
Why Is Shallow Spirituality a Problem Today?
Spiritualism is a deep and personal experience. It is all about finding your inner strength, inner truth, and inner peace. When you add materialism into the mix, it becomes shallow and superficial.
Being spiritual has become fad-like these days and proving how spiritual we are is becoming a competition. You might notice more people are attending retreats or workshops and posting about it all over social media. Surely, this undermines the purpose? Spiritualism teaches us to be happy with ourselves and not compare our lives to others. A truly spiritual person does not need to use their experiences for attention, their experience is sacred and personal.
Aside from using spiritualism for materialistic gain, some people also use it to rid themselves of their troubles. True spiritual gurus encourage the use of spiritualism to become comfortable with suffering. Spiritual materialists assume that methods such as yoga and meditation will prevent ever having to experience hardship.
This is not realistic and not what the original spiritualists had intended. Spiritual practices are there to have you develop self-awareness and learn to be peaceful even in times of trouble. Spiritual materialism encourages the avoidance of suffering, which closes us off from the world – a total contrast to genuine spiritualism.
Arguably the most concerning problem with spiritual materialism is that it leads to cultural appropriation and fetishization of particular countries. Backpackers head off to countries like Thailand, India, and Vietnam to “embrace” the spiritual culture. Unfortunately, these people tend to pick and choose the traditions they like and ignore those they don’t.
This can be offensive to the traditional spiritualists who devote their lives to religions like Buddhism. Spiritually materialistic people travel to these countries to take photos posing in front of sacred monuments – instead of respecting the culture’s wishes.
Are You a Victim of Spiritual Materialism?
There are a few ways to tell if you’ve fallen victim to this superficial, materialistic spirituality. Approach the idea with an open mind and a judgment-free attitude. If you notice elements of yourself reflected in the signs, forgive heavily and correct gently. Spiritualism only ever teaches self-improvement for your own gain, not to compare yourself to others.
Shopping
There is no part of spiritualism that encourages money spending. You should be able to practice spiritualism no matter your financial status. Whether it’s expensive retreats or small trinkets, no genuine spiritualist would require any external “tools”.
Traditional spiritualists would shudder at the notion that you have to spend your money to be a “better” spiritualist. Some teachings, like apps and books, might require payment, and while they’re great additions, they aren’t essential. There are plenty of free resources out there provided by true believers who want spiritualism to be accessible to everyone.
Sharing
We love oversharing on social media, but we love to show off even more. For example, the Instagram hashtag #spiritualist is filled with odd quotes and unrelated selfies. It’s cool to be spiritual, and this leads to people sharing it more than they practice it.
You might have fallen victim to spiritual materialism if you spend time wondering how you can curate your posts to appear more spiritual. The spiritual journey is a personal experience and doesn’t require you to share it with others.
Forcing
It is possible to overdo it on the meditation. Spiritually materialistic people tend to force themselvesinto practicing spirituality even when their minds and bodies don’t really want it. This is because they want to be the most spiritual, and surely you can’t do that if you don’t put in the hours?
Spirituality should be a journey you take at your own pace, through thought and self-discovery. Some critics even mention hallucinogenic drugs as a part of spiritual materialism, as users tend to force and expect epiphanies. You should be able to reach enlightenment and understand your true purpose without any outside help, it is within you.
Spiritual materialism is easy to fall into in this modern world.
We’re told we need stuff in order to be the best, but no one tells us there is no best. Take your new spiritual journey in your own stride and always remember that everything you need is already with you. No amount of force, travel or excessive practice will bring it to you any faster. Focus on your own thoughts and your own progress.
References:
Becky Storey
About the Author: Becky Storey
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=Becky+Storey
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=becky+storey
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: becky storey, behavior, consciousness, ego, food for thought, meditation, self-improvement, social media, society, spirituality
Quarta-feira, 5 de Fevereiro de 2020
Cyberstalking: Examples, Tactics and How to Protect Yourself Online
Cyberstalking: Examples, Tactics and How to Protect Yourself Online
Janey Davies.
https://www.learning-mind.com
February 4th, 2020.
.Stalking in any form is insidious and menacing. However, cyberstalking takes this kind of threatening behaviour to frightening new levels.
The internet has evolved to become the place in which we communicate effectively and quickly. For the vast majority of us, it is a safe and pleasant place to inhibit. But for others, it can cause untold terror and misery. So what exactly is cyberstalking?
What Is Cyberstalking?
It is any kind of unwanted attention, such as harassment or abuse, which takes place online. This can be via email, text messages, social media, even GPS tracking devices. It is basically stalking in the cyberworld.
This type of abuse can be directed at an individual, group or business. It tends to be prolonged, intimidating, and sustained over a long period of time. The problem with this type of stalking is that you cannot escape from it. It follows you everywhere. We all have smartphones, access to the internet. And we can’t just switch off.
Examples of Cyberstalking
- Hacking into a person’s social media account to find personal information.
- Creating a fake social media account to keep in touch with an ex-partner.
- Sending hundreds of unwanted text messages or emails.
- Posting explicit pictures of an ex-partner online.
- Threatening to post nude pictures of an ex-partner online or to friends and family.
- Hacking the person’s social media account and posting rude messages as that person.
- Using your social media account to post malicious rumours about a person.
- Sending spiteful or discrediting emails to a victim’s place of work to damage their reputation.
- Hacking into a victim’s computer looking for explicit material to exploit to family and work.
Unfortunately, modern technology has made it extremely easy for stalkers to progress to online stalking. The other problem is that, particularly in view of identity fraud, many people lay their lives wide open on social media. Some people think nothing of posting the most intimate details of their lives online for the whole world to see.
For example, when we go away on holiday, we take steps to ensure our mail is not piling up when strangers can easily see it. We stop milk deliveries. In addition, we set up lights to come on and off at certain times of the day and night. However, we think nothing of posting holiday pictures on Instagram while we are away.
So we have seen examples of cyberstalking, but what tactics do cyberstalkers use to harass their victims?
Tactics a Cyberstalker Will Use
Social engineering
This is a method of manipulation. The cyberstalker will trick the victim into giving up private information. Also known as phishing; this could be by means of planting a virus via email. Another method is cold calling and asking for the victim’s date of birth, etc.
Bad acting
Here the cyberstalker will impersonate someone the victim already knows. Or they will create a fake identity to befriend the victim or the victim’s family. The reason to do this is to exhort money, embarrass, harass or distance the victim from friends and family.
Doxing
Many cyberstalkers will take advantage of the mass of intelligence you can glean online. There are various sources, including Open Source Intelligence (OSINT). This is known as Doxing. As such, there is a mine of readily available public records, databases and search engines for anyone to find online.
Skilled Hackers
The cyberstalker can use a skilled hacker or learn the techniques themselves. Skilled hackers have a multitude of means to gain access to your devices. One simple way is to plant a GPS tracker in your car. This then pings a message to your phone whenever it moves. In actual fact, more skilled hackers can access your computer’s webcam and microphone. As a result, they’ll then monitor your movements and conversations.
Likewise, smartphones are hacked in the same way. The cyberstalker can not only track where your phone is but also clone it. In addition, they can also spoof a phone that is known to you and use it to extract information.
Examples of Victims
Reasons for cyberstalking can vary depending on the perpetrator. A jealous partner can cyberstalk their ex to intimidate them into returning to the relationship. Or to stop them from moving on with their lives.
Jealous ex-partners
One woman living in Glendale, California had noticed she kept accidentally ‘bumping’ into her ex-boyfriend in the most unexpected places. These places ranged from coffee shops, the airport, even the cemetery. She was suspicious and then saw him underneath her car early one morning. He had planted a GPS tracking device in her car which sent signals to his phone. This allowed him to track her every move. When she spotted him, he was in the process of changing the battery.
A second woman was murdered after her stalker was able to find her by using online technology. The man paid an online investigations firm just $154 to find out this woman’s place of work. He went there and shot her. No one at the agency asked why he wanted the information.
Another woman went to the police after several men began contacting her from a local dating site. All the men were looking for casual hookups. All of her personal information was readily available on the online dating site.
Identity fraud
When we think about identity fraud, we automatically assume it is all about money. That the fraudsters want to gather information about their victims in order to scam them into parting with savings. Of course, in many cases, this is true. However, some identity fraud cases are much more complicated.
A journalist writing for Wired.com recounts how her stalker turned to the internet after repeated attempts failed to connect them in the real world. This cyberstalker spoofed her email accounts.
This allowed him to impersonate her online. He sent her hundreds of texts, called her relentlessly, all without her responding. She blocked him on all her social media. However, he ramped up the stalking by attacking her professional career. The police were unable to help as it was not deemed to be a serious threat to her life.
So are there any statistics on the victims of cyberstalking?
Statistics on Cyberstalking
As cyberstalking is a relatively new crime, statistics are rare and not easy to come by. But a national advocacy group has found the following:
- 50% of all victims were ex-partners of the stalker
- More than 50% of cyberstalkers are male
- The majority of victims are Caucasian
- Most of the victims are aged between 18 and 29 years old
- Over 30% of cyberstalking starts on social media
- Thankfully, cyberstalking is now regarded as a serious crime. So if you think you are being stalked online, go to the police and report it. In the meantime, here are some tips and guidelines to protect yourself now and in the future.
- Use good security protection software to prevent infections from viruses or attacks from infected websites.
- Never allow someone physical access to your computer or smartphone.
- Create strong passwords for each and every one of your accounts and change them on a regular basis. Don’t share them with anyone. Moreover, don’t use pet names or names that are easily guessable from your social media profiles.
- Log out from your computer programs every time you step away from the screen on your PC, laptop and smartphone. Don’t just close the page down.
- Use the privacy settings on your social media account properly. This ensures that no one knows your date of birth, where you live, your email address or your phone number.
- Don’t tag photographs with your location. Hackers can tell a lot more than just the location from the metadata attached to the picture.
- Try Googling yourself using different name combinations to see what information is readily available. If you find that sensitive information is online, contact the website and have it removed.
- If a relationship ends, change the passwords on everything you have online. This includes social media accounts and bank accounts.
- Don’t be provocative with people you don’t know online. For instance, you wouldn’t go into a pub and start an argument with strangers. Don’t assume it is safe to do so online.
A lot of advice regarding cyberstalking is common-sense. Use the same safety measures in real life that you would online. For more complicated cases, get the police involved.
References:
About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
Archives:
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A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: abuse, behavior, crime, cyberstalking, dark personalities, internet, janey davies, manipulation, mental health, personality|, relationships, social media
Quinta-feira, 30 de Janeiro de 2020
Schizotypal Personality Disorder Symptoms and How to Spot Them
.We all have our little idiosyncrasies. However, when somebody starts to withdraw from society, speak, think, act and dress in an odd way, it is possible they are showing the symptoms of schizotypal personality disorder.
Before we start, it is worth mentioning that schizotypal personality disorder may share similar symptoms to other disorders. For example, schizophrenia and schizoid personality disorder. However, they are not the same. So how do you characterise the signs of this disorder?
Three Main Schizotypal Personality Disorder Symptoms
The symptoms can be broken down into three main groups:
- A limited capacity to form and maintain close relationships
- A distorted way of perceiving or thinking about events
- Exhibiting off-putting eccentric behaviour
However, to be diagnosed as having a schizotypal personality disorder, you have to suffer from at least 5 of the following symptoms:
- Problems maintaining relationships outside of the family
- Lives a hermit or loner lifestyle
- Detached, isolated from society
- Suffers from persistent social anxiety that does not decrease with familiarity
- Social anxiety is connected to paranoia
- Flat affect or emotions or inappropriate emotional reaction
- Odd speech style, i.e. rambling incoherently, unusual way of talking
- Off-putting odd and eccentric behaviour, beliefs, mannerisms or thinking
- Dresses in a peculiar way, wearing outlandish, ill-matched or unkempt clothes
- Misinterprets events, believes something that is meaningless has a direct impact on them
- Paranoid and suspicious about those around them, questions loyalty
- Magical thinking, superstitious, has a belief in clairvoyance and telepathy and the paranormal
- Allows these beliefs to influence their thinking and judgment
- Feels that they can influence events (ideas of reference)
- An odd thinking style, for example, stereotypical, black and white thinking, vague, over-elaborates, metaphorical or circumstantial
- Believes they can sense an absent person’s presence
These Symptoms in More Detail
Inability to form relationships
The major problem someone with this disorder faces is an inability to form close relationships. However, it is not surprising that the schizotypal person has problems with relationships. Consider the other presenting factors in this disorder.
For example, the odd speech and thinking, misinterpreting events and dressing in an eccentric manner. These all contribute to problems forming relationships. But are their problems due to theirdiscomfort managing these symptoms or the discomfort of others around them? Experts are not sure. I suspect it is a combination of the two.
Social Isolation
What experts do know is that a person suffering from schizotypal personality disorder feels anxious in social situations. It is likely, therefore, that alongside all the other social and personal deficits, they prefer their own company. This leads to a hermit or loner lifestyle.
As a result, this has a knock-on effect on relationships. They feel uncomfortable in social situations. Of course, this doesn’t help with forming close relationships. However, the main reason for this anxiety is paranoia and suspicion regarding other people’s behaviour towards them. Not the fact they feel shy and awkward in social situations.
Odd behaviour
There are many symptoms of odd behaviour that show up in schizotypal personality disorder. For example, a flat affect in speech is common. Others around them will think they are cold and aloofbecause of this.
Likewise, speaking inappropriately or showing the wrong emotion at the wrong time. A little like giggling at a funeral. The way they speak is also odd. They might use a lot of metaphors to converse, speak with a lot of useless nonsense or ramble on with too much detail.
Their dress will be mismatched or outlandish. They’ll think nothing of wearing pyjamas to the theatre or a ball gown to the supermarket. They might be dishevelled or dirty. They won’t care about personal hygiene, preferring to spend their time researching the important things like alien invasions and the end of the world.
Ideas of reference
People with a schizotypal personality disorder will often believe that meaningless events hold great significance, especially for them. It is as if they are being given clues and signs to interpret and only they can solve them. This is similar to ‘magical thinking’ where people believe that their thoughts, ideas, wishes or actions have the power to influence outside events.
I remember working in an office years ago and a guy I had worked only a few times with came up to me and asked if I had left an elastic band on his desk. I didn’t understand the question. He said the band was in the shape of a love heart and that he understood what I was trying to tell him.
Superstitious
Superstition is another symptom of schizotypal personality, alongside a preoccupation with the paranormal. People who suffer from this disorder are obsessed with clairvoyants, magic, numbers, the universe, and the unknown; anything that cannot be easily explained.
They may also hold odd beliefs; ones that do not conform to societal rules. But they won’t care what others think.
Odd thinking style
People with this disorder think differently to us. They might use black and white thinking, or perceive time and space in different terms (perpetual aberration). They also suffer from a concentration on physical symptoms, such as pain or fatigue (somatic symptoms), which then causes them great emotional distress.
They are often paranoid and believe in conspiracy theories, particularly relating outlandish tales about themselves. For example, they might suppose that an innocent phone call by a relative is talking about them to the CIA.
Who Is Likely to Suffer from Schizotypal Personality Disorder?
Just under 4% of the world’s population suffers from this disorder. There is a slightly higher occurrence in men (4.2%) than women (3.7%). You are more likely to suffer from this disorder if you are a black woman, have a low income, are divorced, separated or widowed.
With adjustments made for variables, the schizotypal disorder is shown to be significantly associated with other disorders. This includes narcissistic personality disorder, bipolar disorder and PTSD. Conversely, there are lower occurrences in Asian men.
What Are the Causes of This Disorder?
Experts believe a combination of factors contributes to a cause of this disorder:
- Biology
- Genetics
- Environment
- Biology
Research shows that mothers exposed to influenza during their 6th-month gestation pregnancy term have higher associations with schizotypal traits in males.
Genetics
Early studies show that diagnoses of this disorder are higher when some form of schizo-disorder runs in the family.
Environment
Episodes of stress, psychological trauma or acute anxiety lead to higher incidences of people suffering from this disorder.
Diagnosing and Treating Schizotypal Personality Disorder
There are no blood or genetic tests that can diagnose this disorder. In fact, someone who has several of the symptoms of schizotypal personality disorder should seek a proper diagnosis from a trained mental health practitioner. Psychologists and psychiatrists have the expertise to diagnose this rather tricky mental health disorder.
The problem with treating this kind of disorder is that usually, the person suffering from it does not seek treatment themselves. Therefore, it is up to the family or friends of the sufferer to help the person get treatment.
Treatment of schizotypal personality disorder can be a combination of psychotherapy to understand what is happening and medication to calm the symptoms. For severe cases, treatment may not be effective. Therefore, the only way forward is to assist people suffering to live a satisfying and productive life on their own.
Final Thoughts
Decades ago, anyone who appeared different would be locked up regardless of what was wrong with them. Nowadays, we are learning more and more about the human brain and mental disorders. This is allowing experts to help those who are suffering to improve their living standards, which can only be a step in the right direction for everyone.
References:
About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
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Discernment is recommended.
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Segunda-feira, 20 de Janeiro de 2020
Immature Adults Will Display These 7 Traits and Behaviors
.Emotional maturity usually comes naturally, but for some people, this step of growth seems to have been missed. Dealing with immature adults can be difficult and stressful. A person who isn’t able to grasp the concept of negotiation is as difficult to deal with as a toddler – hence being an immature adult!
Here are some key examples of the behaviors and traits of immature adults to look out for.
It can also be interesting to analyze whether you are also guilty of some of these traits and need to apply maturity to those situations.
1. Lack of emotional control
Adults who lack maturity will have little control over their emotions and overreact in much the same way as a small child. Have you ever seen a child screaming and crying in a supermarket because they couldn’t choose a product from the shelf? That is a primary example of immaturity.
Children, of course, are not expected to be emotionally mature. They need time and guidance to learn how to process and express their feelings. Immature adults have never learned this, and so can lash out, act out of proportion with the situation or become overwhelmingly emotional.
This sign of an immature adult often stems from a cushioned childhood or having a condition that makes them unable to get in touch with their feelings.
2. Lack of independence
Immature people will not behave with the independence that we expect when reaching maturity. Traits may include a reliance on a parent or partner to cook their food or provide other general household tasks such as laundry.
It may be that immature adults simply haven’t ever been taught the necessary skills to take care of their own needs and have grown up learning complete reliance on others.
In this situation, continuing to support their dependence is never a good idea. Adults who have come to rely on others will never be able to support themselves if they do not have any reason to learn the essential life skills they are missing.
3. Irresponsibility
Immature adults often are most easily identified by their lack of respect for finances and possessions – whether their own or somebody else’s. This stems from the nature of children who don’t yet understand the value or worth of things since they are reliant on a parent or guardian to provide for them.
Most adults learn this value very quickly, and in particular when joining the workforce and learning to equate money and possessions with their income. However, an immature adult has never learned to respect their finances and can be very irresponsible and fickle with money.
4. Selfishness
One of the common behaviors of immature people is innate selfishness. They may find it difficult to relate to or empathize with others, and may, therefore, struggle to maintain healthy relationships of any kind.
This behavior echoes a small child who exists within their world and hasn’t yet learned to empathize. An adult who lacks maturity will be unable to consider anything from the perspective of another person. They will only have an interest in fulfilling their desires.
For this reason, immature adults are often untrustworthy and prone to lie, as with children. This is less likely to be malicious, and more likely to be a product of their selfish nature. It means that they simply cannot accept responsibility for their actions, or perceive the equal value of others.
5. Oversharing
An immature adult usually tends not to have a filter. This is a key trait that is identifiable within children who often need parents to explain cultural norms. For example, discussing other people loudly in a queue or asking potentially hurtful questions in innocence.
This trait can often be seen on social media and reflects the emotional immaturity of an adult who needs to feel validated by the opinions of others. Perhaps less obvious than some of the other behaviors of immature adults, oversharing and not being able to pursue their own goals without external validation is a key trait.
6. Being egocentric
Small children, and even teenagers, often crave attention and holding the spotlight. This behavior is seen in immature adults, who desire attention at all costs and will often upstage others to ensure they receive it.
A sign of this trait could be an adult who creates unnecessary drama at a celebratory event which is not being held for them. Or it could be a friend who discusses problems at every opportunity without giving thought to whether it is appropriate.
This can be a sign of an immature adult who has always felt themselves to be competing for attention. It can also be a sign of an adult who has always been the center of attention throughout their upbringing. Thus, he or she has not developed the maturity to share the spotlight from time to time.
7. Inability to sustain relationships
We all know that relationships of any nature need equal effort to sustain them. Immature adults areoften single or change romantic partners regularly. They are also likely to have few friends, as they cannot commit to other people, to show empathy or to understand the priorities and perspectives of people around them.
An immature adult may either have few people close to them or only be close to family members who likely continue to treat them as a child.
How to deal with immature adults?
There is no hard and fast way to manage immature people. But the best course of action is never to support their poor behavior. This will only reinforce their conditioned emotional responses and support this continuing.
Lauren Edwards-Fowle
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: behavior, childhood, communication, ego, emotions, lauren edwards-fowle, personality, relationships
Sexta-feira, 15 de Novembro de 2019
6 Types of Abuse in Relationships and How to Recognize Them
As you know, abuse comes in many forms. In a relationship, there are several types of abuse.
Everyone wishes for a loving and healthy relationship, whether it’s a platonic or intimaterelationship. Healthy relationships involve respect, kindness, selflessness, and many other beneficial qualities. While unhealthy relationships continue to grow worse ignoring most of the good qualities of good unions.
Different types of abuse are sometimes hard to recognize
Recognizing abuse and the different types requires being educated on each one. Many times a husband or wife can go through years of abuse without even knowing the truth.
In many of these situations, one partner is convinced that they are the entire problem, while the fault lies mostly with the other. This is an insidious way of the abuser being able to continue what they’re doing.
What are the different types of abuse?
1. Physical abuse
When you hear the word abuse, what’s the first thing you think of? For most people, that would be physical abuse, but not for everyone.
Physical abuse can be punching, kicking, slapping, strangling, shoving or any similar forms of forced physical contact. Believe it or not, physical abuse can also be neglect or abandonment because it deals with physical aspects.
Physical abuse can also include being restrained against your will or the invasion of your own personal space. The violence of this nature can often lead to severe injuries, hospitalization, or at worst, even death. This is the most common form of domestic violence.
2. Verbal abuse
This form of abuse can be loud or it can be subtle. Verbal attacks include shouting, insults or outward lies. Yes, lies are verbal abuse because they are usually pathological and designed to break down your reserves. Verbal abuse is used to make you think you’re crazy.
This can also be called gaslighting. If you know something to be true and it includes negative aspects about the liar, they will do whatever it takes to make you feel as though you imagined the whole thing. This often overlaps with mental abuse.
3. Mental abuse
Abuse of this caliber can isolate the victim so bad that there will be few people who believe what they’re going through.
Mental/ psychological abuse can also come in the form of gaslighting (making you think you’re crazy), but it can also do so much more damage than taint your reputation. Mental abuse includes lies when the truth is right in front of your face, and these can wear down your mental capacity.
Those who already battle mental illness can become progressively worse when dealing with mental abuse in a relationship. It is true, that someone can tell you lies for so long that even you believe them yourself.
That’s why this sort of abuse is so damaging. It turns you against your own logic, which can be devastating. It can even turn others against you and make them see your abuser as the “good guy”.
4. Sexual abuse
Did you know that sexual abuse can happen in a relationship? Yes, most definitely. Rape can occur as well. If either partner doesn’t want to engage in intimate relations, but it otherwise forced to do so, this is considered rape, or abuse.
While sexual abuse can be a physical act, it can also overlap emotional and mental abuse. Using sex as a way to get what you want, to assign value to your partner, or to insult them is also considered sexual abuse.
Intimacy was designed to do many positive things, but unfortunately, it can be twisted into a heinous form of abuse, whether married or unmarried, even in other related forms.
5. Emotional abuse
Although similar to mental abuse, with some overlapping, emotional abuse has more to do with the feelings than thinking. With this type of abuse, the victim’s feelings are often ignored when they don’t align with what the partner feels.
Control is a huge part of emotional abuse, where one partner tries to have reign over every aspect of their partner’s life. Control in emotional abuse can include financial control, where the partner isn’t allowed to work or have a bank account.
Sometimes this control develops due to past circumstances or jealousy, but it’s still emotional abuse. Other forms of emotional abuse involve making your partner feel worthless with insults and neglect. This includes racism, sexism, and making jokes about someone’s native language.
Most of the time, people outside of the relationship will have no idea any of this is going on until it becomes severe.
6. The abuse of addiction
The reason this type of abuse is mentioned here is that it can affect more than the person who is caught in its grips. Alcoholism or drug abuse damages the user, the user’s family, and many others who may be around the user.
In your relationship, if your partner is addicted to alcohol or drugs, or even other things, it’s best to seek professional help. Addiction tends to be an extremely difficult type of abuse to conquer.
Recognizing the abuse in relationships
It’s fairly easy to recognize types of abusive behavior when reading the categories above. If you’re experiencing physical discomfort, it could be physical or sexual abuse. If you’re starting to think you’re worthless or contemplating suicide, you could be experiencing a number of these types.
You see, all types of abuse overlap somewhere, so there could be symptoms of more than one type going on in your life.
One way to discover whether or not you’re being abused is if you’ve been labeled as “crazy” by your loved one. This label often masks all the other symptoms of abuse and it’s hard to get to the truth when gaslighted. If you’ve been told you’re crazy, this is a red flag. Seek help immediately to discover the truth of your relationship.
Take back control and take back your life!
References:
Sherrie Hurd.
About the Author: Sherrie Hurd
Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She is an advocate for mental health awareness and nutrition. Sherrie studied Psychology, Journalism, and Fine Arts, receiving an Associates in Marketing. She has written for Beacon, a southern college publication, and is an author of a full-length non-fiction novel. Sherrie spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse.
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
Archives:
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: abuse, behavior, dark personalities, manipulation, mental health, personality, psychology, relationships, sherrie, sherrie h, sherrie hurd
Segunda-feira, 10 de Junho de 2019
How to Practice Self-Forgiveness When You Are Too Hard on Yourself ~ Sherrie.
How to Practice Self-Forgiveness When You Are Too Hard on Yourself.
By Sherrie.
June 9th, 2019
.We must forgive others and sometimes we must practice self-forgiveness. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes.
Feeling bad for doing something wrong is normal. We should seek forgiveness when we’ve made mistakes or even been purposely cruel in the past.
However, dragging yourself through the mud for a long time after your regrets is not healthy. Self-forgiveness allows us to move on and learn how to be better people.
Have you been too hard on yourself?
When you mess up or make a mistake, how many times do you apologize? One apology, made in the right wayis enough to show you’re sorry for your actions.
When you apologize over and over, it doesn’t mean you’re any more or less sorry than with one heartfelt repentance. Sometimes groveling only makes some people use you and abuse your feelings. Try to remember that.
How can we practice self-forgiveness and self-love?
Some people can forgive themselves and be done with it, and some people get stuck in condemnation. I am sometimes those people. Lol
So, in order to practice self-forgiveness, we must sometimes first practice a few self-love tips. Here are some of the best.
1. An Inner dialogue on paper
When you have trouble forgiving yourself for something, you can try this: Write down how you’re feeling and take notice of the language you use when writing. Is your language positive? Well, probably not. But, you can use a positive outlook when talking to yourself about forgiveness.
Now, write down your good points. This includes your talents and strengths – basically, it’s all the things you like about yourself. Be honest. Do not describe yourself according to your shortcomings.
Write about the person you are separate from the mistakes you have made. This will help you gain perspective on your way to self-forgiveness.
2. Compassion
Just as you would show compassion toward someone else who made a mistake, and I hope you would, you must also use compassion with yourself.
You deserve a break because the world can be harsh, and no one is perfect. So, everyone needs compassion to try again. Even you need love to give it another shot.
3. Roleplay
Here’s an interesting way to forgive yourself. If you’re really being exceptionally hard on yourself, ask a friend to role play with you. Let your friend be you and take on the mistake that you made.
Now, pretend you are supposed to forgive them for what they’ve done, which is what you’ve done. I’m willing to bet that you will forgive them pretty easily.
Now, take your identity back and forgive yourself. At this point, you should be in a place where you can see your mistake as just a mistake, whether large or small.
You can move on with less guilt and condemnation than before. Thank your friend for the help and embrace the growth you’ve just gained.
4. Put the issue on hold
Even though the mistake may be bad, sometimes you have to put what you’ve done on holduntil you can process it correctly. It is okay to take it and store it in a mental box until later.
Now, as you’ve moved away from the mistake for a while, do things you enjoy and think better of yourself. When you feel strong enough, you can open the box and deal with what you’ve done. It’s usually easier to forgive yourself when you’ve done this.
5. Speak it
Words have so much power, both negative and positive. With some people, speaking aloud what they’ve done helps. This can lighten mental burdens and also help you see where you went wrong.
If you’ve hurt someone, you can see how and why you actually hurt them and the impact it had on their lives when you say what you’ve done.
In that process, you can find ways to heal from what you’ve done, and embrace self-forgiveness. If you’re feeling bad, just talk out loud to yourself or even to a friend.
6. See mistakes as learning
We all make mistakes from time to time. Like I said before, they can be large or small, doesn’t matter. When we make mistakes, we learn many things.
So, if you can see and feel what you’ve learned after doing wrong, you are making great progress. Forgiving yourself allows you to become a better you instead of wallowing in your sorrows.
This is unhealthy and doesn’t change anything that happened before. What’s done is done, and all you can do is try harder to be better.
Never be too hard on yourself
Self-forgiveness is necessary for living a full life. We will make so many mistakes that we will become accustomed to being flawed individuals. This is not to say we should do negative things and be proud of them, on the contrary.
We should always strive to be the kind and honorable in all situations. But if we fail, we should never be too hard on ourselves in an attempt to make things right. We must make amends and move on. It’s really the only way to truly practice self-forgiveness.
Have you forgiven yourself?
References:
Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.
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Discernment is recommended.
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- suzanne lie
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