Terça-feira, 12 de Maio de 2020

5 Signs of Intellectual Dishonesty and How to Beat It

5 Signs of Intellectual Dishonesty and How to Beat It

Lottie Miles, M.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted May 12th, 2020.

 
intellectual dishonesty signs.

 


Have you ever ignored or avoided a tough question? Do you find it hard to admit to making errors? Or perhaps you are dismissive of the arguments of others and employ double standards to how you interpret things. If any of these ring a little bit true, then you are likely demonstrating intellectual dishonesty.
In this post, we will look at what intellectual dishonesty is, why it is important, how to recognize it, and the steps you need to take to beat it.

What Is Intellectual Dishonesty?

A good starting point is to explore how intellectual dishonesty differs from regular dishonesty. When someone is being simply dishonest, they are often misrepresenting a clear fact e.g. ‘no, I did not take that last cookie!’ If that is the case, they may need to focus on how to stop lying.
Intellectual dishonesty is not applying the same intellectual rigor or weighting to your own beliefs as you do to the beliefs of others. It may not be as simple as someone lying; someone may just ignore holes in their own thinking or logic, as it doesn’t fit with their intended outcome.
Intellectual dishonesty also often relates to being closed-minded and not being open to others’ points of view. People react by being intellectually dishonest to make the facts suit their opinion. Avoiding other opinions or new information makes it much easier to reach your intended conclusion.

Intellectual Honesty

Before exploring more about intellectual dishonesty, it is important to briefly mention its counterpart: intellectual honesty. This is what we are trying to achieve by challenging dishonesty. To reach it, someone needs to be open to all viewpoints and be willing to change their mind.
If someone is genuinely intellectually honest, they are willing to change their opinion, even if it may not suit their goals. They care more about having high standards of truth than being ‘right’. They will be unbiased in their selection of sources to support their argument and they will adequately reference any sources they use.

Why Is Intellectual Honesty Important?

In a world full of misinformation and fake news, challenging intellectual dishonesty is of growing importance. On key issues such as the environment, education, and health, there is growing confusion around facts. If public opinion is based on incorrect or unchallenged facts, the policies governments make may also be compromised.
We need to ensure we can stop the spread of potentially dangerous mistruths and untruths. How can we do that? By learning how to spot and stop intellectual dishonesty, we are better equipped to fight the problem.

Intellectual Dishonesty in Science and Medicine

One specific example where intellectual dishonesty can have potentially damaging consequences for society is when it is applied to academics. This is particularly the case in science and medicine. This is shown particularly well in a study into intellectual dishonesty in science [1].
The majority of scientists that make mistakes do so by accident. However, there is a tendency among some scientists to make mistakes intentionally. Through “cooking” or “trimming” results, they tailor their results to show what they want rather than what the data actually shows.
If this is done in medical studies or with pharmaceutical trials, the potential for dangerous outcomes is worrying. Indeed, another study [2] highlighted the need to give medical researchers extra training about the potentially damaging outcomes of intellectual dishonesty in research.

How Do You Beat Intellectual Dishonesty?

There is no sure-fire way to beat intellectual dishonesty. Some people simply refuse to believe something other than their own truth. However, here is a 6 step guide that should help you in your worthwhile quest. It is designed for engaging in a conversation with someone. However, it applies to other scenarios, such as a debate.

Step 1: Spot the signs

The first thing to consider when trying to beat it is to understand the signs that it is being used. Here are five common signs or techniques of someone being intellectually dishonest:
  1. Ignoring or avoiding the question.
  2. Employing double standards.
  3. Never admitting error or pretending things make sense when they don’t.
  4. Being vague in their answers, often to deceive others.
  5. Being dismissive of others’ arguments without giving a proper reason.

Step 2: Be intellectually honest

Once you have spotted the signs, the next step is to be sure of your own intellectual honesty. As the old saying goes, ‘two wrongs don’t make a right’. Also, if the other person spots you being intellectually dishonest, they will be less likely to change.

Step 3: Listen to the other person

Truly listen to the arguments of others and take them in, rather than simply waiting to make your point. By doing so, you may not only have a better interaction with that person, you may be in a better position to call them out on their intellectual dishonesty if you so wish. There are different types of listening you can employ to do this.

Step 4: Question

This is your opportunity to carefully question some of the dishonest claims of the other. This may be difficult as some people may react negatively. They may be affronted and close down the conversation or fight back. To try and prevent this, ask questions in a non-confrontational manner.

Step 5: Re-question

If the other person is dodging your questions, ask them again. You can try and ask the same question a different way to give the other person a chance. However, if they persist in dodging, repeat the question the exact same way.

Step 6: Call them out

If the other person is repeatedly displaying signs of intellectual dishonesty, call them out on it. If other reasonable strategies have failed, it may be best to highlight what they are doing.

Step 7: Rewind

If you feel the discussion is going off track, go back to the start. Listen again and try and comprehend in better detail what their arguments are. Then repeat the other steps to break through their intellectual dishonesty.
Are you prone to being intellectually dishonest or do you know someone who is? Feel free to share your thoughts on the topic in the comment box below.
References:
  1. https://www.researchgate.net
  2. https://www.researchgate.net


 

 

Lottie Miles

 




 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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Domingo, 3 de Maio de 2020

8 Types of Listening and How to Recognize Each

8 Types of Listening and How to Recognize Each

Jamie Logie, B. Sc.

learning-mind.com

May 2nd, 2020 .

 

 

 

Just as there are many forms of communication, there are different types of listening, and it’s important to recognize each of them.
When we talk about people who are good communicators, it’s mainly that they are good listeners. The ability to actively listen to another person is one of the most valuable traits a person can have. Nothing is more frustrating for a person trying to share how they are feeling than to constantly be interrupted. The person who has the ability to listen is the person who can be most helpful.
Good listeners are empathetic, compassionate, and caring, and this goes a long way with building connections to others. But the fact is, there are several types of listening, and each is important in its own way. This article will look at 8 different listening types and how to recognize them.

How Are the Different Types of Listening Defined?

Most of this work goes back a few decades to the works of Andrew D. Wolvin and Carolyn Coakley. The best way to picture these ideas is with the symbol of a tree. Some forms of listening are more foundational while some are higher-level styles of learning. The base of the tree will make up the foundational type of listening, and that’s where we’ll start.

Basic Types of Listening

1. Discriminative Listening

This is a basic type of listening. It’s the type that simply determines what the sound you are listening to is. When you’re hearing various sounds and trying to decipher what a specific sound is, that’s discriminate listening. We use this type of listening all the time, but often it’s to show if what we are hearing is familiar or not. If you’re out in a crowded place and hear someone talking in a different language, you recognize it as language but aren’t yet sure if it’s familiar to you.
Another great example of why discriminative listening is important is it helps you to focus on a specific sound while dismissing other ones. This is handy if you’re driving a car full of loud people but hear a bad noise coming from the engine. This form of listening allows you to zero in on specific sounds.
So you now know what you’re listening to, what is the next type?

2. Comprehensive Listening

Comprehensive listening would be higher up on the trunk if we are using our tree example. This is a higher order of listening than discriminative listening. With listening of this type, we are now listening so we may understand. You would most often use this type of listening when you are in a classroom or lecture and you are trying to understand the message that someone is relaying to you.
This is another basic form of listening, and the goal of it is to simply understand. You can see how – even though these first two are simple – there is a big jump between discriminative and comprehensive listening. This is the difference between paying attention and really hearing what a person is saying to you instead of hearing them – but tuning them out. It can be quite easy to recognize when someone is actively listening to you compared to their eyes being glazed over, not taking anything in.

Higher Types of Listening

So with the root forms understood now, we move into the higher types of listening, and that brings us to:

3. Appreciative Listening

This is where you’re listening deeper and appreciate the sounds, and the best example of this is with music. There is a difference between having music on as background noise and truly experiencing the sounds you are hearing. This is why we can get real enjoyment from music, but it happens best when you focus on it. It can be any style, the main thing is the appreciation you have for it and what resonates with you. This could be classical music or death metal, the point is that it connects with you and you feel it. You hear the changes in sounds, instruments, and movements being used as opposed to it just sounding like a bunch of noise.
This is a valuable form of listening as it allows for joy in your life. Music can lift the soul and spirit, and this acts as a reward for appreciative listening.

4. Therapeutic Listening

Conversational Skills introvert
We are continuing to move higher up the tree. This also may be one of the most valuable forms of listening – especially when it pertains to helping others. With therapeutic listening, we are listening intending to help someone. This is one of the types of listening to help someone work through an issue, deal with a problem, and work through different emotions. The best way to look at this is as a genuine therapy session. This is all about empathy and understanding of what another person is going through.
This listening is not just limited to therapists and friends and family helping each other, though. This is an important listening type used by managers, bosses, trainers, and even coaches to help employees learn and develop. As mentioned, it’s easy to recognize this way of listening as the other person is working with you and trying to help.

5. Critical Listening

Now we are getting up to the higher levels of listening and to the very top of the tree. This ends up being a very important style of listening as it helps you to wade through vast amounts of information. An easy way to think of critical listening is when it comes to things like politics, research, science, or different type of reports. We can recognize critical listening when you ask questions like:
  • Is this valid?
  • Are they making a genuine argument?
  • Are they using information that makes sense?
  • Am I getting to hear both sides of the story?
  • Am I getting presented with all the facts?
This form of listening is more than just understanding but is about analyzing the message we are hearing. This is important to be able to protect ourselves from false or harmful information. Critical listening is about hearing arguments, thoughts, and ideas, but analyzing all the information.

Negative Types of Listening

These are the 5 main types of listening, but there are a few more worth looking at:

6. Passive Listening

Most people aren’t sure if they are a good or bad listener, but it’s easy to tell with passive listening. A passive listener just does not have the ability to listen. They seem disinterested, constantly interrupt, or don’t keep eye contact when engaging with you. They may constantly check their phone or look to be distracted in any way.

7. Competitive Listeners

Whereas the passive listener isn’t good at listening, competitive listening may be worse. Listening of this type is definitely active listening, but only so they may jump in with their own take. Whatever you say, they try to one-up it. You’ve probably encountered this many times when telling a story and the other person brings in their own anecdotes and experiences trying to outdo you.

8. Combative Listening

This is like the competitive listener, but this time, they’re just looking for some form of confrontation. They want to argue just for the sake of arguing. They are actively listening to what you have to say, but only to challenge and combat you on it. They would rather disagree than hear you and understand what you’re trying to say.

Final Thoughts

Listening is an invaluable skill. The best communicators turn out to be that way because they are the best listeners. It turns out that listening is not as simple as it seems and there are many types of listening. By looking through this list, you can see the many types, what purpose they serve, and how to recognize them.
The goal is to be able to hear and understand someone, but engage when the time is right. Most people today feel misunderstood and unheard, so being a person who truly hears them can go a long way in helping and healing others.
References:
  1. https://www.researchgate.net/
  2. https://socialsci.libretexts.org/
  3. https://methods.sagepub.com/

About the Author: Jamie Logie, B.Sc.

Jamie Logie is a certified personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. He holds a bachelor of science (B.Sc.) degree in Kinesiology from the University of Western Ontario, studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".

COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 13:04
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Quinta-feira, 23 de Abril de 2020

8 Traits of a Charismatic Personality and How to Be One.

 

8 Traits of a Charismatic Personality and How to Be One.

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted April 23rd, 2020.

 
 
 
 
Having a charismatic personality means understanding the delicate balance between confidence and humility. Everyone enjoys the company of such a person.
 
One of the best traits to have is charisma. While it might not be easy to understand by many people, for those who get it, it’s invaluable. Finding a balance that clearly defines the difference between cockiness and confidence means all the difference in the world. In that balance is where you want to be in order to truly be a good individual.
 
How to recognize a charismatic personality?
 
A winning personality void of egotistical intent but filled with love and kindness is what our world needs today. We need more people filled with true charisma. But who are these people? How do we recognize the charismatic personality?
 
Revealing traits
 
1. Substance
 
True charismatic people possess substance behind their initial charm. You may meet someone who is incredibly charming and warm, but if they aren’t truly charismatic, this charm will erode into selfish motivation. With substance, there is a depth to that charm – it’s a true intention to offer your best to your fellow man.
 
2. Presence
 
To have a strong presence is not just about being in the present moment, physically. When charisma is present within you, you are able to give someone else 100% of your attention when they are conveying a message.
 
Think about it this way. How important to you is what you have to say? It’s important, isn’t it? So, one trait of charisma is being able to hear every piece of information and understanding that all of it is important to the one speaking or needing help.
 
3. Good eye contact
 
A charismatic personality exudes confidence. This confidence often shows through good eye contact. When you make eye contact during presentations or even when simply meeting someone new, you help them focus on what you’re saying, thus understanding and retaining more information.
 
You will know that someone has charisma when they hold good eye contact without making situations uncomfortable.
 
4. Listening skills
 
Many times, in a conversation, one person holds the spotlight. Although it can be rather selfish, most people don’t realize they’re hogging all the attention. Instead of listening to someone speak, most people are already planning their next words.
 
A good healthy conversation, however, involves paying attention to what each other says, I mean really paying full attention. Charismatic people do this – they actually listen to what you’re saying. They are invaluable friends. They even listen more than they speak in all conversations.
 
5. Humility
 
Being humble is hard to some, but to charismatic people, it seems to come naturally. Humility is a well-known trait of selflessness, offering the best to others even when having to sacrifice themselves for others.
 
In fact, the most charismatic types of personalities have little to no arrogance at all. Humility will be easy to recognize when meeting charismatic people. Just watch for their constant effort to help and their amazing ability to accept when they are wrong.
 
6. Maturity
 
The person with charisma is mature. They place wisdom at a higher standard than knowledge itself. While so many of us possess intellect, few really have the ability to utilize logic and life experience like the charismatic personality.
 
True maturity shows through the charismatic person’s ability to make wise decisions, accept responsibility, and be a good influence on others struggling to be better versions of themselves. They will often be recognized as people wise beyond their physical age.
 
7. Power
 
Some personalities display kindness and beauty, while this particular personality displays power too. Now, mind you, this power I speak of is not a selfish type of power. It’s more like having an incredible influence over those in high positions.
 
But do charismatic people use this power for self-gain? Not usually, they mostly have this power unknowingly or they don’t try to use it. It’s more like something that just resides within that gets noticed and utilized. Using power for yourself and being a powerful influence are completely different things. True power shows through charisma.
 
8. Warm
 
A personality with charisma is a warm personality. This means they are approachable. Unlike other personalities where you feel nervous, the person with charisma makes you feel accepted, genuinely cared for, and intelligent. They never downplay your knowledge by showing off their own.
 
It’s as if they come towards you with open arms, welcoming everything you have to say. This warmth cannot be copied by those who aren’t charismatic people. It is a rare trait.
 
If you want to be more charismatic, here’s what you do:
 
1. Listen better
 
As I stated above, charismatic personalities truly listen during communication. If you want to be more like this, you have to practice listening more and speaking less. No, it’s not easy at all.
 
I have a horrible problem with just listening to what others have to say without constantly formulating my own words during their speaking. I also get overly excited about my own life and experiences that I often eclipse others when conversating. This is really bad, and yes, I must improve.
 
This is true with most people. We must learn to listen better if we want to improve our own charisma.
 
2. Take less/give more
 
Do not be selfish. Spend more of your time helping and giving to others, and less time taking things you believe you deserve. To physically be more charismatic, maybe you can help with a charity or do things for your neighbors.
 
It takes practice moving more into a selfless nature considering the world is always wanting us to take for ourselves in order to survive. So giving is a huge way of improving charismatic aspects of your personality.
 
3. Embrace change
 
Change isn’t easy, but to be more charismatic, you have to learn how to adapt to whatever is happening around you. At first, learn how to accept the ideas and opinions of others instead of judging their beliefs. Everyone is an individual and deserves the same respect, even when you don’t agree with them.
 
Accept a change of thought, a change of environment if necessary, and even a change in your personal life. People with positive power can do this.
 
4. Try to stay positive
 
While it’s not possible to be positive every moment of your life, striving for a positive attitude and good news when you can is always best. What this does for others is it makes them feel better about themselves. It makes them feel like there is hope in the world when they are disappointed. Work on your positive feelings and this will transform the way you and others think.
 
Becoming a charismatic person
 
Basically, I believe we should make a decision to move toward building a more charismatic personality. Why? Well, because being a good influence, truly listening and being kind never hurt anyone. In fact, this sort of behavior can change someone’s life for the better, and in huge ways. I encourage you to practice charismatic behavior and learn more about yourself in the process.
 
How are you improving your self today? Share any ideas if you want.
 
References:

 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.


 


Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 18:05
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Quarta-feira, 22 de Abril de 2020

How to Handle Nosy Neighbors as an Introvert

How to Handle Nosy Neighbors as an Introvert

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

April 22th, 2020

 

Having neighbors can be great. They could be built-in friends that come with your new home and end up being your closest friends for life. They’re helpful to have around too. Neighbors will watch your house while you’re away and can be your first call in an emergency. Friendly neighbors are a very coveted thing because there’s nothing worse than bad, nosy neighbors.
Nosy neighbors can turn your dream home into a haunted house. There are a few kinds of nosy, invasive neighbors. There are the window watchers, the question askers and the can I borrowers just to name a few. It’s difficult to avoid a nosy neighbor. They think that by living next door to you, they’re part of the family like they have automatic rights to your personal life.
Introverts like to keep their personal lives just that, personal. This makes nosy neighbors the bane of an introvert’s existence. They ruin your sacred home life, and as an introvert, it can feel impossible to confront them.

4 Ways You Can Handle Nosy Neighbors as an Introvert

1. Be the Bigger Person

“Rise above it”, our parents always told us as kids. Don’t sink to their level, they said. Turns out, that advice still holds up even as adults. The very best way to handle nosy neighbors that you don’t like is to stay level-headed and always be the mature one. Introverts hate confrontation and conflict, so to preserve your mental wellbeing, never let your disagreements become more than that.
Neighbors can make your life a nightmare if you let them. At worst, they can even get the police and lawyers involved in your conflicts. When tensions start to arise between you and your nosy neighbors, keep in mind that keeping the peace is always the best option. Just like having tensions within your home, neighbors aren’t much different. You can’t escape them, so your best option is to be civil.
When they’re being nosy, or noisy, or downright rude, try your best to stay polite. It might feel near impossible, and you’ll be fighting the urge to scream, but it’ll be for the best in the long term.
Avoid being aggressive, loud, or rude. Try to compromise as much as you can bring yourself to. If their demands don’t affect you too much, consider letting them have it. “Pick your battles, you can’t fight them all” my Mother would say.

2. Set Clear Boundaries

Introverts often struggle to be honest about their feelings, especially if they think they won’t be met with understanding. This leads to becoming “yes people”, and mental exhaustion.
Some nosy neighbors seem to live to push your boundaries. They stare a little too long. They ask a few too many and too invasive questions. They ask for a few too many favors. When we’re trying to keep the peace, we might be inclined to let them get away with these kinds of behaviors, but you don’t have to. It is possible to be polite and still speak up for yourself.
A part of being a mature adult is learning how to shut down nosy people without upsetting anyone. You can do this by simply remaining kind, even if your words aren’t.
If you spot a nosy neighbor doing something you don’t like, you are in every right to ask them to stop. In a polite calm way, you simply say “I’ve noticed you doing this, and it makes me quite uncomfortable. Do you mind not doing it anymore?” Chances are, anyone approached like this would feel genuinely apologetic and a little embarrassed for being so weird.

3. Answer Their Invasive Questions

It might sound a bit backward, but a simple way of keeping nosy neighbors at bay is to give them a little of what they want. As an introvert, it can be really difficult to speak up and tell other people to back off. If that’s something you struggle with, you can instead learn to answer in limited ways.
When a nosy neighbor asks questions that you don’t want to answer, respond with as few words as you like but keep a smile. Then you can quickly exit the situation, and they’ll be none the wiser. You’ll come across as friendly, just busy.

4. Be Honest about You

If you’re willing, you could find ways to let your over-eager nosy neighbors know that your home is a sacred space. Simple anecdotes slipped into a conversation will (hopefully) help them to see that you want to be left alone.
You could let them know that you’re a homebody and that you enjoy being undisturbed when you’re at home. If they have a habit of peering over your garden fence and asking too many questions, you can also make it clear that your garden is a quiet space too.

3 Quick Fixes for Handling Nosy Neighbors

Nosy Neighbor fence

1. Pretend You Didn’t Hear Them

If you’re looking to quickly escape a nosy neighbor, you can pretend you don’t hear or see them. Don’t respond to their calls, and don’t make eye contact. You could also wear a hat or sunglasses to disguise your eyes and add headphones, so they easily assume you didn’t hear them and not that you’re avoiding them.

2. Be Nosy Back

It might be petty, but sometimes if you can’t beat them, join them. If you catch a nosy neighbor watching you and your house, do it back. If they ask too many questions, do the same to them. Chances are, they’ll be so uncomfortable that they’ll stop doing the invasive things they do, just to keep you away!

3. Block Their View

If you’re looking for a quick fix that doesn’t involve scaring the introvert inside you, then there are a few physical ways to stop nosy neighbors. The easiest way to prevent a nosy neighbor from seeing you is to block what they can see.
You can buy grown trees and hedges to surround your fences. You can also buy curtains and veils that won’t block your light but will block their view through your windows.

Don’t Let Your Nosy Neighbors Ruin Your Sacred Home Life

No one understands more than an introvert just how important your home is. It’s a sacred place for your mental wellbeing, so any disturbances can be tough to handle. Nosy neighbors can make your home life miserable, but it doesn’t have to go that far. If you follow a few easy steps, you don’t have to hide away or worry about giving up your dream home.
Have you ever had any negative experiences with nosy people living next door? How did you confront them? We would like to hear your thoughts. Please share them with us in the comments below.
 
 
 
 

 

Becky Storey
 

 




 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 17:12
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Quinta-feira, 16 de Abril de 2020

4 Differences Between Antisocial and Introvert: Which One Are You?

4 Differences Between Antisocial and Introvert: Which One Are You? 

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

April 16th, 2020

 

Introverts are almost always mistaken for being antisocial. The immediate assumption is that they don’t want to be around others because they don’t like anyone. Their reclusiveness is seen as hostile. Antisocial and introvert could appear similar at surface level, but they aren’t the same at all.
Antisocial people could be introverted or extroverted. Being antisocial refers to your behavior towards others. Introvert and extrovert are labels attributed to the way you think and feel about being around others.

What Are Antisocial and Introvert?

Introvert

Being an introvert means your energy levels are depleted quickly from social interaction. While an introvert might also suffer from social anxiety or even be an antisocial person, the “introvert” label doesn’t require it. Introverts can be confident and happy to socialize within their chosen boundaries.

Antisocial

Introvert and antisocial people differ greatly in their willingness to interact with others. Antisocial people are actively unwilling to interact with others. They are often hostile and angry towards other people. Antisocial people, unlike introverts, have no concern for the unwritten rules of social interactions. They are cynical and unempathetic towards others.
Antisocial people will typically prioritize themselves, their work, or their own fun over friends and socializing.

The Differences Between Antisocial and Introvert

1. Energy Drain

Introverts are defined by their loss of energy when they’re interacting with other people. This could be worst in large crowds, or with one on one meetings. It all depends on the person and the intensity of the interaction. In order to replenish their energy, introverts need to be alone or with a small, peaceful group of people they’re close to.
This can be seen as being antisocial because they might leave parties early, or steer clear of big groups socializing altogether. However, these choices have nothing to do with how much they like or even love the people around them, they’re just avoiding mental exhaustion.
Antisocial people have no concept of the energy drain. Their decision to stay way has nothing to do with their energy, and all to do with how little they like being in the company of others. Antisocial people could be extroverts too. Their energy might not be diminished by being around other people, they just don’t enjoy socializing or interacting with them.

2. Care and Concern

By nature, introverts tend to be very empathetic. They care for other people’s feelings deeply. Introverts are often very aware of their own emotions, and this makes them extra perceptive of the emotions of others. They never want to make others feel the kind of discomfort they do at times, so they always make sure to take care of the feelings of the people around them.
Antisocial people differ in that they have little to no care or concern for the feelings of the people around them. They aren’t interested in how their words or actions affect others. Unlike introverts, antisocial people don’t follow the unwritten rules of society or social niceties.
Introverts will usually struggle to admit when they want to leave a gathering or that they don’t have the energy to attend an event. They feel upset and worried that they might hurt someone. Antisocial people will openly admit that they aren’t having fun, or don’t want to go, with no concern for how it might make anyone else feel.

3. Relationships and Connections

Despite plenty of misconceptions, introverts can have plenty of friends and loved ones they’re close to. Many people assume that introverts are shy and reclusive, but this isn’t necessarily the case.
Introverts might be loners, or they might be friendly social people. Introversion is about energy, not the number of friends you have. Introverts are also presumed to be shy and struggle to make new friends. This is, of course, not true. Introverts could happily make new friends, and easily maintain a fun group of old friends.
Antisocial people, on the other hand, don’t choose to make new connections often and likely maintain a very small circle of friends and family. They would rather be alone as often as possible and don’t feel that their lives would be improved with more relationships or connections.

4. Enjoyment Gained

An important difference between people who are antisocial and those who are introverted is how much or how little they enjoy company. Introverts are often shamed for being “boring” and “never want to have any fun”. Admittedly, introverts might choose quieter activities given the choice, but there’s no reason why an introvert can’t enjoy being social.
Introverts can still be party-goers and fun-lovers and enjoy doing things with their friends and the people they love. They might avoid or be apprehensive about talking to large groups of new people, but that’s only down to the impending exhaustion, not an aversion to socializing.
Antisocial people are typically the complete opposite. They genuinely don’t care for socializing or expect to have fun with groups of people. They might have a small circle of friends, but they likely don’t require their presence for excitement or fun.
For too long now, introverts have been mislabelled as antisocial, and it’s just not fair. Introverts can be exciting, adventurous people who like the company of others. They just keep it within their boundaries and protect their energy. If a person is antisocial, then they aren’t protecting themselves, they just don’t care at all. This is the basic difference between antisocial and introvert.
 
 
 
 

 

Becky Storey
 

 




 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
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publicado por achama às 21:52
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Terça-feira, 14 de Abril de 2020

How to Deal with Loneliness and Isolation During Quarantine

 

How to Deal with Loneliness and Isolation During Quarantine

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted April 13th, 2020.

 
 
 

 

Being alone and being lonely are two different things. Learn how to deal with loneliness during this trying time.
There’s nothing wrong with living alone. However, when quarantine happens, being alone may not be as comfortable as it once was. Even when we’re our only company at home, we can usually go out at times, but with a threat to our mortality at hand, this changes things. We must adjust to this change in our lifestyle.
Loneliness vs Being Alone
I’ve been alone before. When I first divorced several years ago, I had every other week on my own. The thing is, I still had to go to work and shop for food. I even spent time with a few close friends. I’m not alone now, but I can’t imagine how hard it would be for someone that is alone during this crisis, especially the more outgoing people.
Being alone is okay, but being lonely can take a toll on your health. So, it’s good to have ways to fight off this loneliness many of us are going through now.

How to deal with loneliness?

Dealing with loneliness isn’t easy for some people. After all, the norm is to go out and have fun when you’re lonely, right? Well, right now, we can’t run around and congregate in large numbers, we can’t dine out in nice restaurants, and we cannot even enjoy large spiritual gatherings. At least, we’re not supposed to do this.

1. Digital socializing

Most of the time, I would tell you to get off your computer and go visit someone, but today, I won’t be saying that. Today, I will be telling you to spend more time on your computer and chit chat with some friends. I’m serious. Now is the time to socialize online and share your feelings with others.
While we are quarantined, we can share our loneliness and thus thin it out a bit. Now, I didn’t say spend every waking moment on social media and such. That would make us more dependent now and later on as well. I just think you should check in every day with a  friend or two and release a bit of that pent up tension.

2. Understand what you’re feeling

It’s important to understand the differences in alone, loneliness and solitude. If you can easily differentiate between these three, you will be better capable of dealing with the inability to go out or see others. Alone is a choice, loneliness is the feeling of disconnect, and solitude is being alone in your thoughts completely, which includes being alone and disconnected as well.
You can actually be lonely in a room full of people. Did you know that? So, loneliness can be combatted by actually leaving a room and choosing to be by yourself for a while. That seems strange, doesn’t it, when learning how to deal with the effects of loneliness? And that is why it’s important that you know these differences.

3. Be old-fashioned / use the phone

I remember when the only way to get in touch with friends was the telephone. We still have that option with smartphones. Maybe, instead of hopping on the computer, we can give someone a call. Spend time the old-fashion way, and talk about how you’re feeling with friends and even distant family.
Learn about what’s happening in their area. It works in pretty much the same way as social media and such, but it gives your eyes a rest. Keep in mind, too much screen time can give you headaches, and you don’t want to be lonely with a headache. Switch your contact abilities up a bit.

4. Get to know and appreciate yourself

Did you know that some loneliness stems from the fact that you don’t know who you are, or that you don’t like yourself? This is also a fact.
Not until I spent some time alone during rotating weeks of joint child custody, did I learn who I really was, and guess what? I am a good person and worthy of all my dreams and goals. Many people lean on others to decide who they are and base their worth, and they should never do that.
Now’s the time to get to know yourself, and if you don’t like what you learn, then dig deeper and do some repair work. Just don’t let despair and depression try and tell you who you are. Remember this: you are beautiful, you are worthy, and you are needed in this broken world. Over time, this self-education will relieve quite a bit of your loneliness and you will love your own company.

5. Stay active

I know this is an option on many of my posts concerning a myriad of conditions and situations, but it works. In fact, I am such a fan of this option that I downloaded a free app for daily short exercises and Yoga sessions. At the moment, there are several free apps for your phone that guide you through workouts, and you should check it out.
As well as inside exercises, if you live in a remote location with distant neighbors, you can get some exercise outside. Take a walk, jog or if it’s warm in your area, plant a few herbs or vegetables. It actually takes quite a bit of energy to cultivate and plant a garden, even potted plants. Either way, find a way to stay active. This is how you understand how to deal with loneliness.

Loneliness during isolation and quarantine

These are only a few ways to deal with being quarantined, and it works with isolation as well. Considering, to be honest, isolation is used to keep the sick from infecting others, and quarantine is keeping you separated from the sick in most cases.
These terms are sometimes used interchangeably or incorrectly, but you probably understand my point. Knowing this, you must find ways to keep yourself occupied, maybe even for quite some time.
You can also read, paint, listen to music, and reorganize your home. There are so many ideas, but it may be hard to think of these things because of the intensive loneliness, and the depression it may bring. I hope this helps a little, and you can offer other ideas in the comments as well.
We will get through this, so hang in there.

 

 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 01:13
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Quinta-feira, 6 de Fevereiro de 2020

Conversational Narcissism: How to Deal with People Who Have This Annoying Trait

 

Conversational Narcissism: 

How to Deal with People Who Have This Annoying Trait.

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted February 5th, 2020.

 
 

 
 
Again, here’s another topic you may have missed in life, or maybe not. Do you know someone who is a conversational narcissist? I was unaware that I was talking about myself too much. I was unaware that I was sharing bits of information and hardly asking any questions. My best friend was the biggest victim of my conversational narcissism. And no, I am not ashamed to admit that I have problems with this because we all have issues.
 
Plus, did you know that there is a bit of conversational type narcissism in all of us. That’s right. So, let’s break this down so you can understand…unless, of course, you already know what I’m about to say. Some people tend to be miles ahead of me in these areas. After all, we’re all learning, every day.
 
What exactly is conversational narcissism?
 
It is the tendency to take over conversations whether in obvious ways or more subtle tactics. This keeps the conversation directed toward one person.
 
Okay, this is the thing. Narcissism isn’t always so obvious. It can hide behind many things, and it can also be there without the knowledge of the one using the toxic behavior.
 
Conversational narcissism is also easy to fall into, like a subtle trap. You can be having a normal conversation and suddenly find yourself hogging the spotlight. Then there are those who are always utilizing conversational narcissism, and there are ways to spot them. There are also ways to deal with them as well. If you realize this is you, then we can work together to deal with ourselves.
What do toxic conversationalists look like?
 
Conversational narcissists always shift responsesback to themselves. Here’s an example:
 
  • Shelly: “I bought a sweater at the new boutique in town today”.
  • Patricia: “Really, yeah, I have been meaning to stop in there. I need a few sweaters and shirts myself.”
 
Notice how Patricia heard the sentence that Shelly spoke but quickly made the conversation about herself. She never asked what color the sweater was or if Shelly liked the sweater. This is one way to spot a narcissist of this breed.
 
Narcissism in conversations can also be used with small responses, like this example:
 
  • Michael: “Hey man, guess what! I aced that chemistry test.”
  • Peter: “Good.”
  • Michael: “I thought I was going to fail, but I pulled it off.”
  • Peter: “Yep, you did.”
 
Now watch what happens after Michael finishes telling Peter about his test.
 
  1. Michael: “So, how did you do on your test?”
  2. Peter: “Man, I did pretty well, but I think some of those questions weren’t in the study material.”
  3. Michael: “Really, I thought they were. But it’s great that you did well. I’m proud of you.”
  4. Peter: “Yeah, I studied, but I knew most of the other material, so it pulled me through.”
 
Notice how when Michael tells Peter about doing well on his test, Peter uses short disinterested answers. He is either not really interested, or just not paying attention. But when Michael asks about Peter’s test, Peter is ready to talk, even as Michael congratulates him at length.
A conversational narcissist can also just be a plain spotlight thief, taking up the entirety of the conversation. I don’t think I need to elaborate on that one. We’ve seen them and we’ve been them, for the most part.
 
How can we deal with this toxic behavior?
 
When it comes to dealing with a conversational narcissist, the point is, you cannot change anyoneunless they want to change. However, here are the best ways to deal with the narcissism of this type.
 
1. You will listen… a lot
 
When you’re speaking to a narcissist, expect to listen much more than speak. Since a narcissist loves to talk about themselves, and you’re listening, then you’re, in effect, dealing with someone who’s engaging in a toxic conversation with you. If avoidance isn’t an option, then listening is the next option.
 
2. Have low expectations
 
When talking with a person of this nature, don’t expect them to be respectful enough to listen more than usual. I mean, if they are used to doing all the talking, then that is what you should expect. In fact, expect less even. If you do this, the conversation won’t be as painful as it could be.
 
3. Don’t try to challenge them
 
Although you may want to tell them the truth about what they’re doing, just don’t, especially while they’re in the middle of a conversation. Don’t try to challenge their topic with more of your day, or your happiness. They usually care only about getting their ideas and points across.
 
4. Use this as a learning tool
 
It may be incredibly painful to listen to someone go on and on about themselves, but you can learn things from this. You can learn patience, focus, and self-esteem, and these things can help you in other areas of your life.
 
5. You can learn what NOT to do
 
While listening to a conversational narcissist, pay close attention to anything that might sound like yourself. As I said, we all hog the conversation from time to time and listening to a severe case of narcissism, you can recognize all the things you need to improve on with yourself.
 
Let’s deal with them, and let’s deal with us
 
Before we try to deal with others who have toxic conversation skills, we should do a quick check on ourselves. If we don’t see anything wrong, then we should listen to others, as I mentioned above.
 
Also, ask your best friend, and remind her/him to be honest, and tell you if you are taking over the conversation too often. Remind your best friend that you will not be offended by the truth because learning the truth is the pathway to change. Let’s work a bit on our conversation skills, shall we?
 

 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 01:39
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Quarta-feira, 5 de Fevereiro de 2020

How to Deal with Negative People in Your Workplace, Family or Friend Circle

How to Deal with Negative People in Your Workplace, Family or Friend Circle.

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted February 4th, 2020.

 
 
 
 
Handling negative people is a drain on our energy. It is often recommended to distance yourself from toxic relationships. However, sometimes we all have to learn how to deal with negative, critical and judgmental people, particularly of those people are colleagues, friends or family members.
 
Here are some tips and guidance to help you to learn how to deal with negative people, in the most positive way:
 
1. You are not responsible
 
It is all too easy to think that, when faced with a negative person, it is your responsibility to try and change their opinion. Sometimes this just is not possible and will drain your vitality in trying to do so.
 
Adults are responsible for their own behaviour. If a colleague is constantly complaining and trying to share their negative emotions with the rest of the team, it is not your job to make them happier in their role or workplace.
 
This particularly applies to friends and family. If a friend is very negative and unhappy about every situation, you can listen and show them moral support. However, you cannot put yourself under the pressure of trying to resolve all of their problems.
 
Make sure that, when faced with a negative person, you create your own space. Try not to let yourself be sucked into negative behaviour, and remain a bystander who has a sympathetic ear.
 
That isn’t to say that you might not have some helpful advice or suggestions, but do not overload yourself with trying to manage other people’s emotional responses. You are responsible for yourself, and how you engage, no more and no less.
 
2. Help where you can
 
Sometimes people just have a bad outlook on life, and nothing you say or do can turn that around. However, it can be useful to try and understand where negative people are coming from so that you can easier deal with them.
 
It may be that a colleague needs to vent; if you are in a position to let them air their concerns, feel free to do so. They may just need a friend to be able to express him or herself to, and get all their frustrations out in the open.
 
In this circumstance, they might be best advised to consult with the HR team or an appropriate manager. It can something just need a little nudge in the right direction to reflect their negativity on the solution they require.
 
Family members are another key example. When a member of your family is constantly critical, it can be difficult to want to spend time with them and can cast a cloud over family events.
 
Perhaps they feel ignored, or that their viewpoint is not being acknowledged. You can try to listen, and engage with their perspective from an empathetic standpoint. Don’t forget though that ultimately, you are not responsible for their actions.
 
3. Create boundaries
 
Easier said than done! When we have negative people in our immediate social circle, it can be very hard to create any kind of personal distance.
 
In order to safeguard your own emotional wellbeing, you should consider when and how you allow yourself to be exposed to negative behaviour. There are simple ways to effect boundaries, which protect you from being bombarded with negativity, and the impact this can have:
 
Own your own time
 
In the workplace, if you have a persistently negative colleague who impacts your working day, then consider when and how you deal and engage with them. If you tend to chat over lunch, then decide whether you are happy to continue doing so, or wish to change your break time. Once you leave the office, you are under no obligation to respond to messages or emails, and can set them aside and clear your mind to spend your personal time positively
 
Walk away
 
We all have a limit on how many stressors we can absorb in a given day. If you feel overwhelmed with problems and complaints, set a time limit on this part of your day. You can choose to walk away or schedule your time. If you have a social engagement and know that a particular friend will make this feel difficult, you can break away as and when you need to. Do not feel obligated to spend the entire time trying to deal with negativity.
 
4. Accept your feelings
 
Acknowledging that you find it hard to deal with negative people is fine. However, applying this to a close family member or friend can give rise to conflicting emotions.
 
You are allowed to feel saddened or frustrated at the attitude of somebody you love. It is particularly hard when a family member is constantly negative. So you end up feeling anxious about needing to spend time with them as it will not be a happy and positive experience from your own perspective.
 
Accepting somebody you love despite his or her bad traits is a tough part of family life. Try finding other members of your family who understand and can help to share the load of dealing with this negative person. This takes the pressure away from any one person.
 
The way we deal with negative people in our life evolves as we mature. The one factor to remember is that you control your behaviour, and how you engage with people, and not how anybody else chooses to. It is your response, and your coping mechanisms, which can keep this under control and prevent negative attitudes from having an impact on your own well-being.
 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

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publicado por achama às 03:27
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Terça-feira, 21 de Janeiro de 2020

Got a Friend Who Is Always Asking for Favors? How to Handle Them and Set Boundaries

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 19th, 2020.

 
 
 

 
 
Friendships come in all shapes and sizes, and we will usually have one friend who is always asking for favors. Give and take is a normal part of friendship, but what can you do when it becomes a recurring theme?
 
Take a look at my suggestions as to how to deal with that friend who is constantly asking for favors, and how to create boundaries.
 
Recognize the signs of being used
 
One immediate sign of a friendship that is not genuine is a friend who is always asking for favors and offers nothing in return. If you have ever felt that a friendship is completely one-sided, you may be being used.
 
 
It is useful to consider what you are gaining from this friendship.
  • Do you enjoy their company, or dread having to meet up?
  • Are they funny and/or share your interests, or do you feel obliged to maintain contact?
  • Have they acknowledged the favors you have done, or taken them for granted?
 
Dealing with toxic ‘friendships’
 
If you reflect on a friendship and know that it is proving toxic, then there is only one answer; to move on.
 
This is the worst-case scenario, but you are responsible for your wellbeing, and cannot sustain a friendship purely because you feel obliged to. Toxic people drain your energy and your resources, and will not stop using you for the favors they are constantly asking for unless you put a stop to it.
 
Creating boundaries
 
Most of the time, friends who are always asking for favors do so simply because you let them. They might not even realize they are doing it, or that it is causing you distress.
 
The most important thing for you to do to sustain a friendship that you value is to talk openly about your concerns.
 
If you find yourself saying ‘yes’ to everything, even at great inconvenience, you are validating unreasonable behavior. Most friends will not take advantage of kindness intentionally, but people can be thoughtless and might be falling into the habit of relying on you without considering other options.
Preserve your space
 
Open discussion can be uncomfortable, but if you wish to keep your relationship, then honesty is essential. Tell your friend that you have concerns about them always asking for favours. They might have no idea that they are repeating this behavior, and if they place equal value on your friendship will be able to discuss it with you.
 
Alternatively, if you think this conversation may cause conflict, you can put in place your barriers subtly. If this does not change their behavior and they continue asking for favors constantly, then it is time for ‘the talk’.
 
Establishing control
 
Remember that you always have control over your actions, but not those of others. Consider whyyour friend is always turning to you and asking for favors.
  • Do you always say yes?
  • Have you ever tried saying no?
  • If you have said no, was that an end to the request?
  • Could you say yes, but within a timescale that is convenient for you?
  • Have you tried recommending another friend or resource that might be more suitable?
 
Sometimes we unwittingly reinforce bad behavior to avoid conflict. In doing so, we set ourselves up for a difficult time by confirming the validity of this behavior. In the case of a friend who is always asking for favors, if you haven’t ever said no, how do you know how they would react?
 
Managing contact
 
In this day and age, many of us are guilty of feeling like we have to be available 24/7. Doing this makes us open and available to anybody at any time, and neglects the importance of taking time for ourselves.
 
One of the key ways to establish and maintain your boundaries is to choose when and how you are available. This is very simple!
  • Turn off your phone when you don’t wish to be disturbed.
  • Don’t feel obliged to check your messages when you are busy at work, or about to go to sleep.
Try not replying immediately to every message, and give yourself time to consider your response before replying
 
By establishing your own ‘rules’ about how you communicate, you take back control of your time and recognize the value of your space.
 
Building distance
 
If you are finding it hard to create boundaries, then a little distance may be what is needed.
 
It is hard to consider creating distance between yourself and a friend. But if the relationship is turning toxic and you are forgetting why you became friends in the first place, this is essential to preserve goodwill.
 
 
You could try creating a different ringtone for your friend who is always asking for favors. This gives you a choice about whether or not to pick up the phone, or whether to return a call when you are in a good position to talk and consider your answer if they are calling to ask for another favor.
 
Turning the tables
 
This is a tricky one, but if you are concerned that a friendship is turning sour and that your friend is always asking for favors to manipulate the friendship, you could try asking for one back.
 
I do not believe in creating scenarios intended to make somebody ‘fail a test’. However, if you think you might be being used but aren’t sure enough that you want to cause conflict within your friendship, next time you do need a favor, you could try asking this friend and seeing how they respond.
 
The chances are that if they are always relying on you for help that they trust and respect your opinion. Being able to ask for support from your friends is an essential part of making sure that trust runs both ways.
 
If your friendship means as much to them as it does to you, next time you need a lift somewhere, or for a friend to check in on your cat, make this friend your first call. Hopefully, they will jump at the chance to return your kindness.
 
And if they don’t? At least you know exactly where you stand.

 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 03:32
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Segunda-feira, 20 de Janeiro de 2020

Immature Adults Will Display These 7 Traits and Behaviors

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 20th, 2020.

 
 
 
Emotional maturity usually comes naturally, but for some people, this step of growth seems to have been missed. Dealing with immature adults can be difficult and stressful. A person who isn’t able to grasp the concept of negotiation is as difficult to deal with as a toddler – hence being an immature adult!
 
Here are some key examples of the behaviors and traits of immature adults to look out for.
 
It can also be interesting to analyze whether you are also guilty of some of these traits and need to apply maturity to those situations.
 
1. Lack of emotional control
 
Adults who lack maturity will have little control over their emotions and overreact in much the same way as a small child. Have you ever seen a child screaming and crying in a supermarket because they couldn’t choose a product from the shelf? That is a primary example of immaturity.
 
Children, of course, are not expected to be emotionally mature. They need time and guidance to learn how to process and express their feelings. Immature adults have never learned this, and so can lash out, act out of proportion with the situation or become overwhelmingly emotional.
 
This sign of an immature adult often stems from a cushioned childhood or having a condition that makes them unable to get in touch with their feelings.
 
2. Lack of independence
 
Immature people will not behave with the independence that we expect when reaching maturity. Traits may include a reliance on a parent or partner to cook their food or provide other general household tasks such as laundry.
 
It may be that immature adults simply haven’t ever been taught the necessary skills to take care of their own needs and have grown up learning complete reliance on others.
 
In this situation, continuing to support their dependence is never a good idea. Adults who have come to rely on others will never be able to support themselves if they do not have any reason to learn the essential life skills they are missing.
 
3. Irresponsibility
 
Immature adults often are most easily identified by their lack of respect for finances and possessions – whether their own or somebody else’s. This stems from the nature of children who don’t yet understand the value or worth of things since they are reliant on a parent or guardian to provide for them.
 
Most adults learn this value very quickly, and in particular when joining the workforce and learning to equate money and possessions with their income. However, an immature adult has never learned to respect their finances and can be very irresponsible and fickle with money.
 
4. Selfishness
 
One of the common behaviors of immature people is innate selfishness. They may find it difficult to relate to or empathize with others, and may, therefore, struggle to maintain healthy relationships of any kind.
 
This behavior echoes a small child who exists within their world and hasn’t yet learned to empathize. An adult who lacks maturity will be unable to consider anything from the perspective of another person. They will only have an interest in fulfilling their desires.
 
For this reason, immature adults are often untrustworthy and prone to lie, as with children. This is less likely to be malicious, and more likely to be a product of their selfish nature. It means that they simply cannot accept responsibility for their actions, or perceive the equal value of others.
 
5. Oversharing
 
An immature adult usually tends not to have a filter. This is a key trait that is identifiable within children who often need parents to explain cultural norms. For example, discussing other people loudly in a queue or asking potentially hurtful questions in innocence.
 
This trait can often be seen on social media and reflects the emotional immaturity of an adult who needs to feel validated by the opinions of others. Perhaps less obvious than some of the other behaviors of immature adults, oversharing and not being able to pursue their own goals without external validation is a key trait.
 
6. Being egocentric
 
Small children, and even teenagers, often crave attention and holding the spotlight. This behavior is seen in immature adults, who desire attention at all costs and will often upstage others to ensure they receive it.
 
A sign of this trait could be an adult who creates unnecessary drama at a celebratory event which is not being held for them. Or it could be a friend who discusses problems at every opportunity without giving thought to whether it is appropriate.
 
This can be a sign of an immature adult who has always felt themselves to be competing for attention. It can also be a sign of an adult who has always been the center of attention throughout their upbringing. Thus, he or she has not developed the maturity to share the spotlight from time to time.
 
7. Inability to sustain relationships
 
We all know that relationships of any nature need equal effort to sustain them. Immature adults areoften single or change romantic partners regularly. They are also likely to have few friends, as they cannot commit to other people, to show empathy or to understand the priorities and perspectives of people around them.
 
An immature adult may either have few people close to them or only be close to family members who likely continue to treat them as a child.
 
How to deal with immature adults?
 
There is no hard and fast way to manage immature people. But the best course of action is never to support their poor behavior. This will only reinforce their conditioned emotional responses and support this continuing.
 
 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
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Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com
 
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 20:47
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Terça-feira, 19 de Novembro de 2019

How Symbols and Meanings Affect Our Perception in the Modern World

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

November 18th, 2019.

 
symbols and meanings.
 
 

 
Do you get hungry when you see the golden arches of McDonald’s? Are you proud when you think about your National flag? You might not think these two things are connected, but they are. They are both symbols, and although they have very different meanings, they demonstrate how they affect our perception.

Symbols and Meanings
 
“A symbol is not just an image, but is like a door into the inner world of the soul.” Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee
Why We Have Symbols
 
Our brains have to process an enormous amount of data every second of our lives. Symbols help us to make sense of our surroundings. This is because they are a way of instantly communicating. They provide a mental shortcut that triggers recognition, understanding and feeling.
 
Symbols can take on many different forms. For example, a letter, as with the McDonalds’ example, or a simple cross to denote a religious building. Symbols include signs, gestures, objects, signals and even words. We have symbols because they have the ability to reach across a diverse range of races and cultures.
 
Not matter what language you speak, everyone knows what the Apple logo, the red poppy or the Swastika stand for. And with the increase in the use of emoji’s, we are going to use symbols even more to give us meaning.

Symbols Are Used For Communication
 
Our world is rife with symbols. Just think about it. Company logos, traffic signs, the male and female signs on toilet doors, these are all symbols and they all convey different meanings.
 
But symbols are more than just information. Think about the authority behind a policeman’s badge. The instruction your brain receives when it see a Stop Sign. The colour red, the colour green. A gold ring on your third finger. A Nazi Swastika. Symbols can have emotional meanings as well as being informative.

Symbols Have Emotional Meanings
 
Symbols represent ideologies such as religion and political concepts. As such, they are intrinsically linked with our emotions. In the US, the national flag is a revered symbol to be respected and honoured. In the UK, we don’t place so much importance on our flag. So you could argue that symbols have different meanings to whoever is reacting to it.
 
For example, to many Germans, the Nazi Swastika was a symbol of racial purity and German power. To the Jewish population, it instilled fear. Yet, some groups are now adopting this symbol to front their cultural agendas.
 
 
It is the same with religious symbols. The cross is sacred to Christians. However, a burning cross at night is not religious at all. Therefore, each symbol is loaded with meaning, dependant on the person viewing it. The person will associate that particular symbol with a certain feeling or emotion.
 
Symbols Unite Us As Groups
 
But symbols can also unite us into groups. The symbol will then serve as a link for members to express their identity, all without saying a word. The symbols we wear on our lapels, our uniforms or our flags reveal a common way of thinking. We instantly align ourselves by adopting certain symbols. These symbols connect us in a way that words never can.
 
So, in this context, the meanings behind the symbols we use are to show our identity within a certain group. By adopting one symbol over another, we are literally pinning our character to a flag for all to see. We are saying that we identify with others who adopt this symbol.

Why Are Symbols Powerful?
 
You only have to look at the world of sports to appreciate the power of symbols. Take Roger Federer. To many people, Roger is the epitome of someone at the very top of their craft. It’s not surprising then that sports brands fight to the death to sponsor him. Nike had that contract for years.
 
Now just think about that single Nike tick. What it represents to people. When you go to a sports shop and you have to choose between two pairs of trainers, you see the Nike pair with a tick. In your subconscious mind, that is no ordinary tick. That tick represents Roger Federer. His class, his wins, and his triumphs in the face of defeat.
 
It is a symbol loaded with meaning. That tick is a sign of a true sportsman, on and off the court. When you reach for the Nike trainers, for an instant, you are in that special Federer club. You are luxuriating in his success. But it’s just a tick, remember?
 
So, symbols instantly bring up a certain feeling or image or association. As such, they are often used in the media or for propaganda. Symbols have the power to unite or divide us.
 
Many of us added a French flag filter to our social media profile picture after the shootings in a Paris nightclub. Taiwanese students used sunflowers to protest against a secret controversial deal with China. Protests are banned in Thailand. However, students have begun using the three-fingered salute seen in the Hunger Games as a form of silent protest.
 
Even political parties adopt symbols. There is the red rose for Labour, a flying dove for the Libdems, the pound sign for UKIP. This is so that people who cannot read or write can easily vote for their party.
 
Symbols are everywhere. We cannot avoid them.

Final Thoughts on Symbols and Meanings
 
There’s no doubt of the power of symbols and what their meanings represent. They have an instant effect on us. We need to understand this. Then we can step back before we react and think about symbols and how their meanings really affect us.
 
References:
 

Janey Davies

 



About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 03:41
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Why Ghosting People Can Be Damaging and 6 Reasons Why Ghosters Do It

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted November 18, 2019.

 

 
 
Having you ever heard of ghosting people? Well, it has nothing to do with the supernatural. It’s something much more heinous.
 
Relationships can be beautiful things, but some of them do not last. I’ve always heard that some breakups are so bad that they feel the same as grieving the loss of a loved one, and in a way we have. But there is something even worse than a breakup. Can you imagine? Some people turn to ghosting in order to get rid of their love interest.
 
What is ghosting and why do some people do it?
 
Do you know what it means to go ghost on a boyfriend? Well, if not, here’s the low down…and, by the way, it’s a really is a low down way to go. Ghosting means realizing that you’re not interested in the person your dating or in a relationship with, and instead of breaking up with them, you just disappear.
 
Going ghost on people means just leaving, not returning texts or calls, and avoiding any human contact at all. You give you reasons and it’s always a sudden decision. It’s as if you wake up one morning and decide you have to get away from the relationship.
 
If you’ve been ghosted before, you know the level of pain it causes, but if not, can you imagine how devastating it can be to be left in the dark? It can be extremely damaging. So why? Why must we leave people with no explanations about the breakup? Are we evil people? Let’s take a look.

Why are we ghosting people?

1. Avoiding confrontation
 
The number one reason why most people ghost others is that they are afraid of confrontation or they just hate it. Facing someone and telling them that you want to break up is never easy. Let’s face it, looking into their eyes has to be pretty hard. Then you have to think about all the questions they’ll have and the crying.
 
Many people want to avoid all this awkwardness and just disappear. While avoiding confrontation may be easier for the ghoster, it’s horrible for the one who has no idea what’s going on. Even though the break up would be hard, it would be easier than being left with nothing to go on. Healing would be much harder.

2. Attempting to save feelings
 
Some people think it hurts less to just go ghost. They feel that the break up hurts the other person’s confidence and self-esteem. While the self-esteem may take a temporarily hit, it can be healed with time. When you ghost someone, these people have nothing to go on, and they can try to figure it out for themselves, creating all sorts of much worse scenarios.
 
The truth is, maybe you just feel you’re not a good match, this is not as bad as leaving someone guessing at all the terrible things they must have done to warrant being ghosted. Do you see? Unfortunately, some people just have it all turned backward when it comes to ending relationships.

3. Negative past experiences
 
Some people feel that ghosting is the better route because they’ve had some really bad face to face or phone break-ups. Maybe they were insulted, begged or even attacked after telling their girlfriend the relationship was over. The truth is, you never really know what’s going to happen when you confront them. But, even if you’ve had bad past experiences, it’s still not the right thing to do.
 
 
Even though phone calls or texts are not as personal and respectful as face to face talks, if you’ve had a bad history of break-ups, at least don’t just disappear. It can leave scars that may not go away and follow them into their next relationship. Did you know that ghosting a person can even damage their trust for the next fellow? That’s not fair.

4. Severe narcissism
 
Here we are again, talking about the narcissist. Seems like they tend to do many heinous things when they are on the selfish side of the spectrum. If you’ve followed many of the articles here about narcissistic personality disorder or similar topics, you will remember that this type of narcissism includes the lack of empathy. Empathy is where you’re considerate of other people’s feelings.
 
Many people ghost the ones they’ve been dating because they simply don’t care and just want to get it over with. Sometimes, in their minds, it’s just like throwing away something that is no longer useful to them. But, of course, that’s just what narcissists of this nature do.

5. The fear of commitment
 
I’ve actually witnessed this before, and it’s really strange to me. This also primarily deals with couples who are entering a new level in their relationship. It also doesn’t have to do with just marriage. It can also be the fear of commitment to one person that causes the ghoster to run away.
 
Many times, people like this think they are incapable of loving one person, or fear they will fail at being a spouse. Also, if they’ve been married before or in a committed relationship which failed horribly, they are prone to ghost on you as well.
 
Although it’s wrong, this reason is more out of fear than not caring about the other person. Sometimes these people even come back. But after all that, would you really want to see them again?
6. No respect
 
Sometimes people enter into relationships and discover extremely negative qualities about each other. One partner may have such bad qualities that it’s almost impossible to endure. This usually means the relationship is not going to last. So, the proper thing to do would be to break up, right?
 
Well, in some cases, instead of breaking up with a person you’ve lost respect for, you may just ghost them. Even though ghosting people is bad, you may feel like the person is so horrible that it doesn’t matter. Unfortunately, losing all respect for your partner may have you wanting to just disappear.

Is it ever right to ghost people?
 
Honestly, it’s rarely ever a good thing to just disappear on someone you’ve dated. Only in severe circumstances where you fear for your life should you ever consider going ghost.
 
I urge you to be brave, and if your relationship is going under, go to your partner and discuss what should be done. If you have to break up with them, it’s better to have enough care to tell them to their face, or at least a phone call or text. Try to never leave someone hanging…yes just don’t go ghost.
 
I think you understand now.
 
References:
 

Sherrie Hurd
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 
 
 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 02:56
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