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Domingo, 3 de Maio de 2020

Emotional Numbness: Causes, Symptoms and Ways to Cope

Emotional Numbness:

Causes, Symptoms and Ways to Cope

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted May 3rd, 2020.

.
Img source

There is something that can be worse than feeling furious or hopeless. Emotional numbness can evolve from various issues and cause serious damage.

You’re not alone if you can’t cry at a funeral. You’re also not a freak if you can’t laugh or smile on happy occasions. There is something else going on within you when experiencing the inability to feel. This is emotional numbness, and it has many recognizable symptoms. There are reasons why you cannot feel and there are also ways to heal this problem.

The Meaning of Emotional Numbness and Dissociation Explained

First of all, what is emotional numbness? It is a condition brought upon by years of building emotional blockades toward others and denying ourselves the right to feel.

Simply stated, emotional numbness is a result of dissociation. They are not one and the same – dissociation is a condition, while the state of being emotionally numb is what happens due to the condition.

When you disassociate yourself from emotion, you separate yourself from the situation attached to the emotion. For instance, when someone dies, if you are emotionally numb, you may not be able to cry. This doesn’t mean you are heartless. It simply means, well, it means many things. Let’s read on.

What Are the Symptoms of Emotional Numbness?

1. Feeling distant

One sign that you might be experiencing emotional numbness is the detachment of your mind from certain situations. Sometimes, you feel like you’re in your own body, while at other times, you may feel like you’re floating above it, looking at yourself. It’s not necessarily as an OBE (out of body experience), but more like watching a film of yourself. Something is wrong if you’re constantly viewing things from outside yourself.

2. Lack of participation

You watch others doing things, but you just cannot seem to join in. As far as your own hobbies or interests, you leave them behind as well. There’s just no desire for past hobbies or interests. Where others are concerned, you either want to watch instead of joining in, or you simply don’t want to be around to do anything. It just doesn’t matter to you.

3. Living a “flat” existence

It’s kind of hard to explain the “flat” existence, but it’s living a life of going through the everyday motions. When you’ve started to live a flat life, you just do the exact same thing from day to day, moment to moment. It’s neither negative or positive, it’s just motion.

4. In-ability for love or hate

What’s worse than being extremely angry at someone? That would be not caring one way or the other about anyone or anything. When you feel numb emotionally, you can’t feel love or hate.

5. You are empty inside

Some people become so numb, they turn into an emotional fog, a smoke that just dissipates into nothing. Unfortunately, having no feelings gets so deep that a hole erodes into your core. But even at this level, emotional numbness can be turned around. It starts with finding the cause. Which leads us to our next thoughts. What happened?

What Are the Causes of Emotional Numbness?

There’s not just one thing that steals away our feelings. No, there are many reasons this happens. That is why it can be difficult to pinpoint roots and help individuals cultivate normal emotions. I go through emotional numbness at times, but I don’t stay there inevitably. My numbness usually stems from deep roots in childhood. Unfortunately, it’s a numbness that I still often fall right back into with certain triggers. It happens to many of us. Delving into this problem, there are reasons.

1. Childhood trauma

The most common reason why people experience emotional numbness is childhood trauma. These events can be one or more of the basic abuses experienced while growing up. For example, if you were sexually abused, you might grow up to dissociate automatically during normal intimate situations. You can be a married woman with a fairly healthy intimate life, and yet, you can still separate yourself from your mate emotionally at times.

Physical, verbal, mental, and definitely emotional abuse can also lead to emotional deficits like numbness. It just depends on how you respond to treatments, or whether you received any treatments in the past. Some people never even tell anyone else about going through these things. What’s worse – some people cannot even remember due to a sort of dissociation that developed during the time of the abuse.

2. Substance use

Substance abuse has a category all its own. This is because substances such as drugs, alcohol, or other things can greatly alter the mind in a whole different way. With other types of abuse, the mistreatment generally comes from outer influences, but with substance abuse, after any initial outside influence, the abuse continues as self-inflicted harm.

It’s called addiction, and these addictions, usually drawn from some initial starting point, can bring about numb sensations. Sometimes, as with drugs, these substances can cause immediate emotional numbness because of chemical content. The same can be said for alcohol. Think about it this way, alcohol greatly numbs the skin, often keeping you from feeling the extent of certain pains or injuries. It can do the same to your mind. As with other addictions that don’t seem to fit into any neat category, emotional numbness can come from the inability to “kick the habit”.

3. Mental illness such as anxiety or depression

This cause of emotional numbness can come from childhood trauma, genetics, domestic violence, adult trauma, or any other thing that alters the mind and emotions forcibly. You can be born with the pre-determined destiny to inherit depression. Anxiety can come from domestic violence. PTSD can come from wartime trauma and any other event or part of your life that sparks fear. From mental illness such as anxiety or depression, you can experience symptoms and one of these symptoms happens to be emotional numbness.

Take panic attacks for instance. When I experience these attacks, I have trouble breathing, my heart rate increases, and then I experience all sorts of random abnormalities in my behavior. Sometimes, I just become numb. My skin will either itch, or I won’t be able to feel a thing. The worst part is for many hours afterward, I will become emotionally numb. I can’t laugh, I can’t smile and I feel like a brittle piece of paper floating through the air. Individuals with mental illness do experience emotionally numb symptoms, and they go through this in various ways – more ways than I can explain in an hour’s time.

4. Medications

Certain medications can also alter the way you think and even the way you feel. In fact, one of my medications does take away the severity of my emotions. If I take more or less, the amount of lost emotions differs. This just makes sense. Some of these medications are used for anxiety, while some are administered for manic states of bipolar disorder.

There are also medications given for physical problems, and the side effects don’t only cause headaches and nausea and such, but can also cause emotional numbness as well. When I take any sort of narcotic pain reliever, I seem to lose a small bit of emotion. Yes, these medications do cause an altered state of mind, but they can sometimes temporarily take away the ability to feel joy or anger.

5. Loss of a loved one

You can also experience the lack of feeling when someone close to you dies, especially when it’s a mother, father, or sibling. When a mate dies, it can be even harder. Learning to live without someone close to you that spent years, even decades of their life in your company can have a devastating effect. It can be so horrible that you forget how to feel grief, love, or even anger. Losing a loved one can cause many different feelings, and this includes the inability to have any feelings at all. I’ve been through this too, on more than one occasion. I’ve also witnessed one dying relative live with denial of their own impending death. This was especially hard to watch.

How to Overcome Emotional Numbness?

To be quite honest, some people just train themselves to avoid difficult emotions. This provides a little insight into how to treat the problem. You can do things both professionally and as maintenance measures to help you embrace your emotions. Many will tell you to try professional help first, so we can start with that.

Treatment Options:

1. Acceptance and Commitment therapy

This type of therapy is useful for those who suffer from PTSD and many mental health problems. ACT helps you recognize when you’re avoiding feelings due to experiences. When recognized, this therapy can help you understand how it’s good to feel both the negative and positive emotions that come with life.

2. Psychotherapy

This type of therapy basically finds the root of your problem. It recognizes that your lack of emotions is not natural, of course, and they must have a point of origin. Psychotherapy also coaxes feelings to the surface, even negative ones, so that the patient can learn how to process them in a healthy manner.

3. Cognitive Behavioral therapy

Not only does CBT help you bring forth your feelings, but it also helps you learn how to properly deal with them instead of using emotional numbness as a defensive mechanism to push them down again. Cognitive-behavioral therapy addresses your unhealthy coping skills and helps you turn them into powerful and positive solutions.

How to Maintain Good Emotional Health to Avoid Feeling Numb?

You can also deal with emotional numbness on your own as well. There are a few ways that your feelings can be pulled to the surface by consistent physical and mental maintenance. Or rather, you can use lifestyle modifications that cause emotions to even surface naturally.

1. Cut out stress

Stress can be a huge contributor to emotional numbness. It can literally suck the emotions right out of you for a long time. So eliminating this stress as much as possible is one answer. Some stressors will be difficult than others to eliminate, but you must cut something negative loose in order to feel again.

There are many ways stress sneaks in, as well, and one of the most common sources is the unhealthy relationship. Getting relationship counseling is one way to help, ending the relationship is another. I can’t tell you which is better, but you will begin to understand the route to take. The same goes for jobs, friends, and toxic family members as well. Deal with it, or get away from it. It’s necessary.

2. Get plenty of rest

The lack of sleep due to things like certain medications, stress, mental health symptoms like anxiety, and others can gradually rob you of your basic positive emotions. Regulating your sleep patterns can help you gain back a healthy sense of being. In order to regulate those sleeping patterns, however, you have to deal with whatever is causing you to lose sleep and making you feel fatigued.

You already know you have to eliminate stress, but maybe you need to speak with your doctor about changing medications. Maybe you need to speak to your therapist about your mental health symptoms. Of course, this is where professional therapy comes in. Whatever you need to do, get your sleep patterns back in order.

3. Keep a healthy support system

You will always need a group of friends and family that will allow you to feel free. Sometimes, you unknowingly teach yourself to hide your emotions to avoid fights or confrontations. Having a good support system that allows you to show your anger and work out frustrations is a huge key to healing from emotional numbness. Make sure you pick the right group of people or even one really good friend. These are the ones who will let you be yourself, which is an integral part of this healing.

4. Use creativity

If you cannot express your emotions through speaking, then maybe you can be creative. Painters are notorious for expressing repressed feelings in oil and acrylics. In the past, some individuals weren’t allowed to express themselves due to laws. But painters could make beautiful works of art that some didn’t understand. Only the painter could reveal their true intention and emotion behind the work, and they could reveal it to whomever they felt would keep them safe. You can also express emotions this way, and if you feel numb, pushing that paintbrush or tapping those keys will help open you up.

5. Meditation

Did you know that meditation and mindfulness can solve many of your problems? I think they can solve almost all of them, including the horror of emotional numbness. Focus, centering, being in the present, aromatherapy, and prayer can all coax out what’s thought to be dead space from within you. Enlightenment can marry you with your true emotions and help you control them as well.

Emotional Numbness, Go Away!

At one time or the other, I think we’ve all experienced this numb state. Whether it was from trauma or isolation, most of us learned how to resurface from the depths of this hole. You may fear the grips of emotional lack right now, and you may be stuck in the hopelessness of succumbing to this demon. But before you slip under the waves, take my hand. I’ve been there, I go there still sometimes, and it’s not without hope. If you suffer from emotional numbness, please take a second look at some of the symptoms, causes, and solutions, so you too can learn to feel emotions in a healthy manner.

I look forward to your comments and suggestions. Thank you.

Sherrie Hurd

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Quarta-feira, 22 de Abril de 2020

7 Signs of People Who Lack Empathy and Examples of Their Behavior

Lauren Edwards-Fowle,

M.Sc. & B.Sc.

learning-mind.com

Posted March 21st, 2020.

image source

A lack of empathy makes it hard to engage in a meaningful relationship with a person. Being empathetic is an innate human quality, whereby we can appreciate the feelings of other people, regardless of whether those feelings also affect us. What about those who lack empathy?

Why do some people lack empathy?

Being unable to show empathy is often linked to low emotional intelligence. This means that if someone in your life seems unable to relate to how you are feeling, it might not be deliberate.

Having low emotional intelligence means that a person does not have the resources to be able to grasp feelings outside of the spectrum of their own experience. This is similar to a very young child, who has not yet reached emotional maturity. They are the center of their universe and do not feel a response when somebody else is emotional.

In other cases, having little or no empathy can be a trait of a narcissistic person or somebody suffering from an anti-social behavior condition.

Signs of people who lack empathy and examples of their behavior in everyday life:

1. Lack of close relationships

Someone unable to relate to others will find it very difficult to establish long-term relationships. They may have no or very few friends and struggle to maintain a bond even with their immediate family members. This is because a lack of empathy extends to everybody. Thus, they might not feel the emotional bond or familial connection that most of us experience.

Have you ever had a colleague who doesn’t ever contribute to a birthday collection, or won’t bother to sign a card for a sick colleague? They probably don’t see why they should inconvenience themselves with the concerns of other people.

2. Unusual responses to grief

Having no empathy can show through in times of distress. If you have suffered a bereavement, and somebody in your life does not seem interested or offer any kind of condolences, they probably cannot relate to your grief.

As an example, if you have lost a pet that you loved very much, most people will feel sorry for you and understand the sadness and sense of loss you will be feeling. A person without any empathy will not understand why you are upset, and might even make unkind comments.

3. An inability to share in others’ happiness

Here is another example of a behavior that is typical for a person who lacks empathy. If you have had a baby, celebrated graduating, or become engaged, your friends, colleagues, and family will be delighted for you! If there is somebody who doesn’t seem particularly interested or has not offered any congratulations, they may lack the empathy to appreciate your happiness.

It is a sad by-product that someone experiencing this is unable to share in others’ joy. It works in a similar way to being unable to relate to grief.

4. A strong set of irrefutable personal beliefs

An individual who cannot relate to emotions often has a very firm stance on their own beliefs. Thus, they will find it extremely difficult to accept in any situation that they might be wrong. If you have ever had a conversation with a person who will argue black is white – seemingly for the sake of it – they might simply lack the capacity to relate to your argument.

Lacking any kind of emotional maturity renders a person incapable of reconsidering their ideas, or understanding that they might not be right.

5. Egotistical

With an absence of empathy comes a strong sense of self. A person who cannot empathize will likely be very egotistical, as they prioritize themselves in every situation. People may have an inflated ego for many reasons. However, in case of those with low emotional intelligence, this stems from emotional immaturity.

So an emotionally immature adult will often behave in a childish manner. These kinds of people crave attention all the time, act irresponsibly and are unable to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. This could apply to anything, and some examples of this behavior include pushing in the line at the coffee shop to driving inconsiderately.

6. A sense of entitlement

This trait is particularly noticeable in a group dynamic. A person who lacks empathy will often talk endlessly about him/herself. They will brush off any turn in the conversation that does not center on them. This behavior is known as conversational narcissism, and many people can have it without actually being narcissists.

You may know a few examples of such people in your life. You might notice a friend who will ask continually for favours, without any expectation of returning them. It might be that they simply do not understand why they should invest comparable effort into the relationship, and nor consider how their actions might be making you feel.

7. Reacting awkwardly to emotion

Whilst there are many reasons why people find it hard to know how to respond to emotion, people who can’t make an emotional connection will struggle to react in an appropriate way.

Sometimes, emotional outbursts might be a little over the top, and potentially embarrassing. However, hiding your feelings is never healthy, and a few tears to cope with a stressful situation is an ordinary reaction. People who cannot empathize will not know what to do in this circumstance, and will often try to distance themselves completely.

Life without empathy

It can be just as hard to try and get along with someone who doesn’t seem to care about anything but themselves, as it can be being a person who doesn’t grasp the basic human reaction of empathy.

Not being able to relate to your partner, not understanding why people feel a certain way, and being unable to consider any thought process other than your own is a very isolating way to live.

Try not to take it personally; not everyone has reached emotional maturity, and sadly, some people never will. A lack of empathy is not a reflection on you, or the authenticity of your feelings, but is an unfortunate inability to appreciate them.

References:

Lauren Edwards-Fowle

About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle

Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.

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Quinta-feira, 16 de Abril de 2020

Why Emotional Awareness Is Important and How to Build It

Jamie Logie, B. Sc.

learning-mind.com

April 15, 2020 .

Emotional awareness – or emotional intelligence – will not only connect you better to others but also to yourself.

The ability to be aware of the emotions of others can go a long way in creating better connections. Being able to empathize with another person is at the cornerstone of building real intimacy and connection. The better that you can understand emotional awareness, the better you will then be at understanding and helping others.

Emotional awareness is not just an outward trait but ultimately helps you to get a better understanding of yourself. This article will look at why emotional awareness is important and how to build it.

What Is Emotional Awareness?

We face many problems each day. Many of these problems are internal, and many are based on the relationships we have with others. Being an emotionally aware person allows us to confront the many problems with ourselves – and our relationships – with patience, insight, and imagination.

This is all about becoming more aware. More aware of your emotions, more aware of the emotions of others, and more aware of how to control all these emotions.

This awareness is also considered a form of intelligence. We usually associated intelligence with cognitive function and IQ, but intelligence is also connected to emotion. Intelligence or awareness gives us the ability to successfully navigate around certain challenges. In this case, it’s how you can navigate around various emotional situations.

Why Is Emotional Awareness Important?

Building your emotional awareness will have many positive effects on all aspects of your life. It allows you to lower your levels of social anxiety and makes public situations more bearable. You will develop a higher level of self-esteem – which has a great spillover effect on things like career and success.

Emotional awareness is also important to help control and lower levels of depression. And it creates better relationships with family, friends, and those you spend your time with.

Those with a lack of emotional intelligence find life to be extremely frustrating. They have no control over their feelings and actions, lash out at others, push people away, and feel constant anxiety. We can chalk up most broken relationships to a lack of emotional awareness and intelligence.

It helps to look at a lack of emotional intelligence the same way we would with cognitive intelligence. They both create profound repercussions, but with a lack of emotional intelligence; the effect can be much more long-lasting.

Benefits of Having Emotional Awareness

Those with a strong sense of emotional awareness can identify struggles and pain within other people. They can tap in and see that even though someone appears to be acting fine, deep down they are hurting. They have an intrinsic ability to identify what may cause a person to act a certain way.

Those with no emotional intelligence may easily dismiss an angry person, but the emotionally aware individual will see what may be causing this anger behind the scenes. They can identify sorrow that’s being masked by anger, humor, or denial.

It’s these types of people that make the best healers, teachers, leaders, and mentors. They draw others into them and make everyone around them better.

So, with this in mind, how can you build and develop your own emotional awareness? Let’s look at a few ways…

1. Examine Past Events

Look back on any past events that created certain emotions in you. They may have made you sad, jubilant, angry, frustrated, or hopeless. The important thing here is to look at why this event caused a specific emotional response. What or who caused this event? How was the event different than you expected? Could the consequences of the event have been avoided?

This is an important step for building emotional awareness as it helps you to learn what triggers specific emotions in you.

2. The Power of the Pause

Giving a short pause when speaking helps to give your brain a bit of a breather. Instead of just rambling on constantly, giving a brief pause gives you some space. This helps us to not instantly react, but dwell for a moment and consider the different options.

The idea is to create a pause in your own mind and thinking when confronted with an emotion. What usually happens is we experience a feeling and then want to react right away whether it be anger, sadness, or even a physical lashing out. When you focus on taking a pause after experiencing an emotion, you can better control your response.

The emotionally aware person doesn’t stop themselves from feeling an emotion but pauses to simply observe it. Observation is a strong thing and allows you to become better in tune with yourself and in better control of your feelings.

It’s important to remember that emotions change and they are in constant motion. When you learn to observe, and watch your feelings from the perspective of an outsider, the more you will improve your emotional awareness. This is why the pause is so powerful.

3. Increase Your Vocabulary

If you’ve ever seen a frustrated child, you know that a big part of it is because they cannot articulate and verbalize what they are feeling. The same thing happens with those with low emotional awareness.

When you can increase your emotional vocabulary, you become better equipped to express yourself and your feelings. The average person’s emotional vocabulary revolves around simple things like mad, sad, happy, angry, etc.

Mad or angry is often a secondary result of things like frustration, disappointment, or even loss. Being unable to articulate how you truly feel does not create emotional awareness. Identifying a more special emotional vocabulary is an easy way to increase your emotional intelligence.

Here is a progression of a simple word that conveys an emotion but where it can be narrowed down to the true feeling:

sad –> despair –> powerless
happy –> proud –> confident

Start to include some of these words to better express yourself, and to help others in verbalizing how they feel:

frustrated
irritable
downtrodden
anxious
disillusioned
devastated
hesitant
fulfilled
hopeful

The more specific your word choice, the better you are at narrowing down how you truly feel. This is genuine emotional awareness.

Final Thoughts

Emotional awareness doesn’t happen overnight. To some people, it comes quite naturally, but others may have to work on it for a while. The main thing is there are some simple tips you can use to build it, and it can always grow and improve.

The better your emotional awareness is, the more emotional strength you can develop. This emotional strength will then allow you to help, inspire, and connect with others.

References:

About the Author: Jamie Logie, B.Sc.

Jamie Logie is a certified personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. He holds a bachelor of science (B.Sc.) degree in Kinesiology from the University of Western Ontario, studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".

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tags: emotions, empathy, intelligence, jamie logie, mental health, personal development, psychology, relationships, self-improvement

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Quinta-feira, 9 de Abril de 2020

Why You Are Feeling Sorry for Yourself and How to Stop

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted April 8th, 2020.

.
Img source

You’ve probably moped around feeling sorry for yourself before. There are ways to stop this and cultivate a more positive attitude.

Yes, I am familiar with self-pity, and I bet you are too. But feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t get you far in life. It robs you of the time you can use to be productive and change things. No, the world isn’t fair, and bad things happen sometimes, but mulling around in self-negativity doesn’t help.

Are you feeling sorry for yourself?

Quick, take your mental temperature. Are you wallowing in self-pity? There are ways to tell if you are. If you’ve lost all passion for the things you love or talk constantly about your misfortune, you might be feeling sorry for your life and yourself. Would you like to know how to stop doing this? I thought you would.

How to stop the train of pity?

1. Accept the pity

I know this might sound counteractive, but just listen. It is okay to feel sorry for yourself for a little while. I know I might be going a little against the title in this post, but you will understand if you read on. What’s most concerning, is staying in self-pity for too long.

So, allow yourself to feel those negative feelings, every single emotion, but then agree to let them go after a certain period of time. Just don’t hold onto negativity for too long. Letting self-pity go will help you eventually feel less and less sorry for yourself in time.

2. Help someone

Helping other people always gets us out of our own head and into the concerns of friends, family, and even some strangers. The more you get out of your head, the better the perspective on what’s happening in your life that hurts. Of course, you should tackle your problems after helping someone else. Keep those things separated.

For example: Help someone move, listen to someone else’s problems or offer to babysit. Trust me, all these things will make you stop thinking negatively about yourself so much. You will see what other people are going through. Plus, it’s just right to help others anyway.

3. Change your focus

No matter what’s happened in your life to make you feel sorry for yourself, there are many things good about you. There are things that people see in you that you may not even see in yourself. However, if you focus on things that don’t revolve around self-pity, you may be able to grow a more positive outlook.

Try focusing on what you have instead of what you don’t have. So, you might not own a house, but you rent a decent one that keeps you safe and warm. You might not have a new car, but the one you have gets you where you need to go. Change how you see things, and self-pity will fade.

4. Stop giving up, and start breaking boundaries

When I say boundaries, I don’t mean the positive ones you’ve set for you and your life. I’m talking about the limitations that people place on you in society.

If you’re trying to become a doctor, and people keep telling you that you’re not cut out for it, do you back down and accept what they say? Of course, you don’t because this makes you start feeling sorry for yourself. So, if you want to be a doctor, start climbing on the bumps of criticism that everyone keeps throwing in front of you. When you refuse to give up, pity cannot survive.

5. Stay away from the 3 P’s

There are three thought processes that keep us locked in feeling pity. These mindsets are personalization, pervasiveness, and permanence.

With personalization, we tend to think that our situation is our fault alone. We blame ourselves and dwell on what we could have done differently. With pervasiveness, we assume that a traumatic event will affect all areas of our lives, and this is not true. And permanence makes us think that bad things will last forever.

These three lies must be thrown out in order to stop feeling sorry about our situations.

6. Think about your future

Yes, it’s great to live in the present, I encourage that. The thing is, you need to take a quick look at how your future could be if you continue to feel sorry for yourself. You see, self-pity is stressful, and it can take years off your life.

So, ask yourself if what you’re feeling bad about will matter in the next 5 years. If you don’t think it will, then start to let it go before it makes you sick. Remember, mental and physical health are connected and influence each other both ways. Keep your future in sight, just a bit of it, and maybe this will help you retain hope instead of pity.

So, let’s stop feeling sorry for us

When I say us, it means I sometimes suffer from the trap of self-pity myself. So, you’re not alone. It’s not all that difficult to do, especially when your life has been a series of letdowns and traumatic events. But you see, you cannot let those things define you, and when you feel sorry for yourself, that’s what happens.

I hope this helped you do a bit of positive thinking, and most of all, I hope it gave you the strength to stand in the face of adversity. I’m working on it myself, and so we’re doing it together.

I wish you well.

References:

Sherrie Hurd

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Terça-feira, 21 de Janeiro de 2020

What’s the Difference Between Grief and Depression? 6 Things That Separate Them

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 20th, 2020.

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Img source

Did you know there’s a difference between grief and depression? Well, it can be complicated to explain.

In simple terms, grief can eventually go away, while depression can last for a lifetime. But that’s not all you need to know. There are other facets of these conditions that separate one from the other.

Learning the difference between grief and depression

The reason it’s sometimes hard to tell the difference between when someone is grieving and when they have clinical depression is because the symptoms often overlap. You may see someone with clinical depression in a state of grief after losing a loved one or you may see someone grieving fall victim to depression over time.

This is the major aspect that makes differentiating the two most difficult. However, discovering these differences is important in order to seek professional help when needed.

Dealing with loss

The feelings of grief come about because of the loss or death of a loved one. These feelings can last for a long time, and then after they seem to be gone, they can come back in waves. There can be triggers that bring grief back for a period of time. These triggers may be birthdays, anniversaries or special things you used to do with your loved one or friend who has passed.

Some people even think breakups in relationships can feel a lot like grieving a loved one. The good news is that eventually, grief gets better and has fewer effects. But, I’m not saying it goes away.

The similarities between the two

There are some things that are basically the same between grief and depression. These symptoms come and go making it extremely hard at times to tell the difference between the two. Both conditions exhibit irritability, insomnia, and not being able to move on from whatever happened, whether it was traumatic or just a loss.

Sometimes both grief and depression can lead to more serious issues like weight loss or even attempted suicide. Those suffering from depression or grief may also get angry at their situation, lashing out. While these are similar symptoms, there are characteristics that separate these conditions from each other.

Understanding the difference between grief and depression

If you can pay close attention to the differences between depression and grief, you can offer help when needed. Sometimes professional help will be the answer. Here are some of the most marked differences between the two.

1. Unlike grief, depression doesn’t always have a clear reason

It can even have many reasons which have clustered together creating a mess of desperation and hopelessness.

2. Grief is not permanent

Even when something triggers an old pain, it will also fade in time. While you may never forget the person or place, you will heal and learn to deal with the loss.

3. Suicidal thoughts

When you grieve, you may want to join the person you lost, which is something many people think. The good news about this is that you change your mind as you begin to heal.

With depression, suicidal thoughts never go away so easily. While you may not always think about harming yourself, the thoughts tend to return over and over, and it’s something that should be talked about with a professional.

4. Guilt and anger

Depression leaves us with feelings of guilt that have nothing to do with losing a loved one or likewise, although we may have lost a loved one, which exacerbates the depression. Sometimes depression just happens and the guilt and regret come from seemingly nowhere.

Those who’ve suffered from grief will be angry. They will have a hard time accepting that someone is gone or something has ended. This anger may even make them bitter and hard to be around for a while. Fortunately, much of this passes for most people.

5. Acceptance

It may be difficult to accept the loss of a loved one when you’re going through grief. For weeks or months on end, you may still be in the habit of attempting to call them or going by for a visit. Eventually, the fact that they are gone will sink in.

Depression, on the other hand, doesn’t fade so easily, and it can cause hallucinations and delusions. Sometimes depression can even cause dissociation, which is where you may feel like you are in another world. Dissociation is such a strange feeling that it’s hard to explain. It’s almost as if you are numb.

6. Feelings of worthlessness

People who suffer from depression will be obsessed with the feeling that they are worthless. This is why so many people with this illness fail to take care of themselves or seek help for themselves. It’s tragic to witness the pattern of depression.

Is it grief or depression?

It’s important to find out whether you’re suffering from grief after a loss or if you’ve fallen into depression. Maybe you’ve suffered from depression most of your life and a recent loss has made it much worse. Or maybe a recent loss has you feeling as though you may have depression. Your family and loved ones could be concerned about how you’re dealing with these issues.

Take a few minutes and read through the differences and then apply them to your personal situation. If you’re indeed suffering depression, professional help may be the best solution.

Sherrie Hurd

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Segunda-feira, 20 de Janeiro de 2020

Immature Adults Will Display These 7 Traits and Behaviors

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 20th, 2020.

image source

Emotional maturity usually comes naturally, but for some people, this step of growth seems to have been missed. Dealing with immature adults can be difficult and stressful. A person who isn’t able to grasp the concept of negotiation is as difficult to deal with as a toddler – hence being an immature adult!

Here are some key examples of the behaviors and traits of immature adults to look out for.

It can also be interesting to analyze whether you are also guilty of some of these traits and need to apply maturity to those situations.

1. Lack of emotional control

Adults who lack maturity will have little control over their emotions and overreact in much the same way as a small child. Have you ever seen a child screaming and crying in a supermarket because they couldn’t choose a product from the shelf? That is a primary example of immaturity.

Children, of course, are not expected to be emotionally mature. They need time and guidance to learn how to process and express their feelings. Immature adults have never learned this, and so can lash out, act out of proportion with the situation or become overwhelmingly emotional.

This sign of an immature adult often stems from a cushioned childhood or having a condition that makes them unable to get in touch with their feelings.

2. Lack of independence

Immature people will not behave with the independence that we expect when reaching maturity. Traits may include a reliance on a parent or partner to cook their food or provide other general household tasks such as laundry.

It may be that immature adults simply haven’t ever been taught the necessary skills to take care of their own needs and have grown up learning complete reliance on others.

In this situation, continuing to support their dependence is never a good idea. Adults who have come to rely on others will never be able to support themselves if they do not have any reason to learn the essential life skills they are missing.

3. Irresponsibility

Immature adults often are most easily identified by their lack of respect for finances and possessions – whether their own or somebody else’s. This stems from the nature of children who don’t yet understand the value or worth of things since they are reliant on a parent or guardian to provide for them.

Most adults learn this value very quickly, and in particular when joining the workforce and learning to equate money and possessions with their income. However, an immature adult has never learned to respect their finances and can be very irresponsible and fickle with money.

4. Selfishness

One of the common behaviors of immature people is innate selfishness. They may find it difficult to relate to or empathize with others, and may, therefore, struggle to maintain healthy relationships of any kind.

This behavior echoes a small child who exists within their world and hasn’t yet learned to empathize. An adult who lacks maturity will be unable to consider anything from the perspective of another person. They will only have an interest in fulfilling their desires.

For this reason, immature adults are often untrustworthy and prone to lie, as with children. This is less likely to be malicious, and more likely to be a product of their selfish nature. It means that they simply cannot accept responsibility for their actions, or perceive the equal value of others.

5. Oversharing

An immature adult usually tends not to have a filter. This is a key trait that is identifiable within children who often need parents to explain cultural norms. For example, discussing other people loudly in a queue or asking potentially hurtful questions in innocence.

This trait can often be seen on social media and reflects the emotional immaturity of an adult who needs to feel validated by the opinions of others. Perhaps less obvious than some of the other behaviors of immature adults, oversharing and not being able to pursue their own goals without external validation is a key trait.

6. Being egocentric

Small children, and even teenagers, often crave attention and holding the spotlight. This behavior is seen in immature adults, who desire attention at all costs and will often upstage others to ensure they receive it.

A sign of this trait could be an adult who creates unnecessary drama at a celebratory event which is not being held for them. Or it could be a friend who discusses problems at every opportunity without giving thought to whether it is appropriate.

This can be a sign of an immature adult who has always felt themselves to be competing for attention. It can also be a sign of an adult who has always been the center of attention throughout their upbringing. Thus, he or she has not developed the maturity to share the spotlight from time to time.

7. Inability to sustain relationships

We all know that relationships of any nature need equal effort to sustain them. Immature adults areoften single or change romantic partners regularly. They are also likely to have few friends, as they cannot commit to other people, to show empathy or to understand the priorities and perspectives of people around them.

An immature adult may either have few people close to them or only be close to family members who likely continue to treat them as a child.

How to deal with immature adults?

There is no hard and fast way to manage immature people. But the best course of action is never to support their poor behavior. This will only reinforce their conditioned emotional responses and support this continuing.

Lauren Edwards-Fowle

About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle

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Terça-feira, 19 de Novembro de 2019

How Symbols and Meanings Affect Our Perception in the Modern World

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

November 18th, 2019.

img source

Do you get hungry when you see the golden arches of McDonald’s? Are you proud when you think about your National flag? You might not think these two things are connected, but they are. They are both symbols, and although they have very different meanings, they demonstrate how they affect our perception.

Symbols and Meanings

“A symbol is not just an image, but is like a door into the inner world of the soul.” Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

Why We Have Symbols

Our brains have to process an enormous amount of data every second of our lives. Symbols help us to make sense of our surroundings. This is because they are a way of instantly communicating. They provide a mental shortcut that triggers recognition, understanding and feeling.

Symbols can take on many different forms. For example, a letter, as with the McDonalds’ example, or a simple cross to denote a religious building. Symbols include signs, gestures, objects, signals and even words. We have symbols because they have the ability to reach across a diverse range of races and cultures.

Not matter what language you speak, everyone knows what the Apple logo, the red poppy or the Swastika stand for. And with the increase in the use of emoji’s, we are going to use symbols even more to give us meaning.

Symbols Are Used For Communication

Our world is rife with symbols. Just think about it. Company logos, traffic signs, the male and female signs on toilet doors, these are all symbols and they all convey different meanings.

But symbols are more than just information. Think about the authority behind a policeman’s badge. The instruction your brain receives when it see a Stop Sign. The colour red, the colour green. A gold ring on your third finger. A Nazi Swastika. Symbols can have emotional meanings as well as being informative.

Symbols Have Emotional Meanings

Symbols represent ideologies such as religion and political concepts. As such, they are intrinsically linked with our emotions. In the US, the national flag is a revered symbol to be respected and honoured. In the UK, we don’t place so much importance on our flag. So you could argue that symbols have different meanings to whoever is reacting to it.

For example, to many Germans, the Nazi Swastika was a symbol of racial purity and German power. To the Jewish population, it instilled fear. Yet, some groups are now adopting this symbol to front their cultural agendas.

It is the same with religious symbols. The cross is sacred to Christians. However, a burning cross at night is not religious at all. Therefore, each symbol is loaded with meaning, dependant on the person viewing it. The person will associate that particular symbol with a certain feeling or emotion.

Symbols Unite Us As Groups

But symbols can also unite us into groups. The symbol will then serve as a link for members to express their identity, all without saying a word. The symbols we wear on our lapels, our uniforms or our flags reveal a common way of thinking. We instantly align ourselves by adopting certain symbols. These symbols connect us in a way that words never can.

So, in this context, the meanings behind the symbols we use are to show our identity within a certain group. By adopting one symbol over another, we are literally pinning our character to a flag for all to see. We are saying that we identify with others who adopt this symbol.

Why Are Symbols Powerful?

You only have to look at the world of sports to appreciate the power of symbols. Take Roger Federer. To many people, Roger is the epitome of someone at the very top of their craft. It’s not surprising then that sports brands fight to the death to sponsor him. Nike had that contract for years.

Now just think about that single Nike tick. What it represents to people. When you go to a sports shop and you have to choose between two pairs of trainers, you see the Nike pair with a tick. In your subconscious mind, that is no ordinary tick. That tick represents Roger Federer. His class, his wins, and his triumphs in the face of defeat.

It is a symbol loaded with meaning. That tick is a sign of a true sportsman, on and off the court. When you reach for the Nike trainers, for an instant, you are in that special Federer club. You are luxuriating in his success. But it’s just a tick, remember?

So, symbols instantly bring up a certain feeling or image or association. As such, they are often used in the media or for propaganda. Symbols have the power to unite or divide us.

Many of us added a French flag filter to our social media profile picture after the shootings in a Paris nightclub. Taiwanese students used sunflowers to protest against a secret controversial deal with China. Protests are banned in Thailand. However, students have begun using the three-fingered salute seen in the Hunger Games as a form of silent protest.

Even political parties adopt symbols. There is the red rose for Labour, a flying dove for the Libdems, the pound sign for UKIP. This is so that people who cannot read or write can easily vote for their party.

Symbols are everywhere. We cannot avoid them.

Final Thoughts on Symbols and Meanings

There’s no doubt of the power of symbols and what their meanings represent. They have an instant effect on us. We need to understand this. Then we can step back before we react and think about symbols and how their meanings really affect us.

References:

Janey Davies

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.

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Quinta-feira, 14 de Novembro de 2019

4 Systematic Desensitization Techniques to Use to Fight Your Anxiety and Fears

By Sherrie Hurd

learning-mind.com

on November 13th, 2019.

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How would you like to learn a few ways to battle your anxiety and fears? Well, systematic desensitization may be the answer.

During my lifetime, and that’s been 4 decades, I’ve tried everything I could think of to eliminate or even alleviate my anxiety. Some things helped pretty well, while other things just seemed like a waste of time. My fears and anxieties just continued to follow me wherever I went.

So, I saw the words, “systematic desensitization”, and I wondered if these were techniques that might work for me. It seemed like learning to face my fears through the help of a relaxing environment would much better than analyzing and deconstructing everything that happened to me. So, let’s examine this systematic desensitization approach.

What is systematic desensitization?

The systematic desensitization combines techniques of relaxation and gradual exposure to whatever is troubling you. If it’s a phobia, these techniques keep you calm, but they also coax you to face your fears, you see.

Of course, as you face these fears and anxieties, you start slow as not to cause an overwhelming sensation or possibly a panic attack.

The systematic desensitization techniques come in 4 steps:

1. Relaxation

Before you can even start approaching the subject of your fears and anxieties, you will need to learn how to relax. I don’t mean just sitting or lying down. I mean genuinely relaxing your entire being. Here are a few ways to properly relax:

Breathe slowly, inhaling through your nose. This is called diaphragmatic breathing. As you inhale, hold your breath for 2 seconds, then release your breath through your mouth. This type of breathing helps you relax pretty fast and helps you focus as well.

Now, close your eyes and imagine a scene. See the colors, hear the sounds, and even imagine you can smell the scents of this imaginary place. You can also let someone describe an image to you, and then see what they are describing utilizing your own mind.

Tense your muscles, then release them. Do this several times. This helps you understand what happens when you are afraid. You might not notice, but your muscles tense up all over your body during anxiety.

Take the time to learn more about meditation and mindfulness. These techniques help you accomplish all of the above and more. You can ground yourself in the presentinstead of saturating your mind tomorrow or the next day.

2. Making lists

After indulging in relaxation techniques, it’s time to make a list of what makes you anxious. You can include your phobias, or write them on a separate sheet of paper.

Either way, it’s important to try and list every single thing that triggers anxiety or fear. Knowing what makes you afraid is the key to facing the things that make you afraid.

You may be surprised by the things that come to mind. After all, you should list even the smallest things that make you afraid. This is especially helpful for those who start worrying as soon as they wake up.

I do this. I wake and wonder what negative things will happen during the day. It’s virtually taken over a corner of my life. So, I guess you would say, my list is long. But it doesn’t matter as long as you write it down and come to terms with it.

3. Rating your fears

After listing your fears, rate them at the worst and least fearful with everything else in-between. As you work through these things, other fears may surface, but you can’t let this distract you. Think about fears in different ways as well.

For instance, you may be terrified of spiders, which fall at level 10, but a picture of a spider may only rate on a level 7. Talking about them could be a level 5. Rating your fears helps you get ready for the last technique…coming to terms with your fears.

4. Facing fears

The first thing to do when facing your fears is to make sure you are totally relaxed. If you’re already going through something, it’s not quite the time to face fears and anxieties.

A good time would be in a quiet atmosphere, and it’s best to start with a therapist who can support and help you stay in control during the transition.

As you face your fears, you will imagine the fear first, then talk about what makes you anxious. As you talk through your anxieties, think about why you’re scared in the first place.

Where did the fear start, and how long has the fear been present? These are questions that will help you see the fear as something smaller than it really is. Therapy like this will slowly help you see your anxiety as something that cannot control you.

Final thoughts

It will take several sessions using the systematic desensitization techniques before you will notice a difference.

Over time, you may even be able to endure more than one fear at a time or face a fear during a stressful event. Until then, give yourself credit for every milestone you achieve toward your goal of being free of your fears.

References:

Sherrie Hurd.

About the Author: Sherrie Hurd

Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She is an advocate for mental health awareness and nutrition. Sherrie studied Psychology, Journalism, and Fine Arts, receiving an Associates in Marketing. She has written for Beacon, a southern college publication, and is an author of a full-length non-fiction novel. Sherrie spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse.

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Quarta-feira, 1 de Maio de 2019

3 Interesting Decision-Making Theories Which Explain the Choices We Make ~ Sherrie.

3 Interesting Decision-Making Theories Which Explain the Choices We Make.

By Sherrie.

learning-mind.com

April 30, 2019

.
image source

Decision-making theories come are quite useful. When it’s time to make an important choice, there’s no need to delay.

Whether we are familiar with theories regarding decision-making or not, in this day and age, choice is in abundance. What do we want to eat, which sofa should we purchase, do you get a dog or not? Because we have way too many options, it can make choosing much harder than it should be.

Choice is our ability to make decisions when presented with two or more options. When we have more than two options, we must make a choice. This is what the world presents to us. Therefore, it is the truth of how free will works. We can then live and artistically create the life we want to.

So, why is it so difficult? Ultimately, choice represents the sacrifices we must make. We automatically give up something else when we make a choice between two or more things.

This means, if we find ourselves wanting something else next month, chances are that choice will be gone – non-existent. We have to take what we have today, and this depends on what we choose.

Decision-making theories – the basics

Different approaches to decision-making are sometimes called Choice theories. William Glasser founded this term from a book with the same title. According to Glasser, freedom, fun, power, love and belonging, and survival are basic satisfied needs which come from choices we make.

The idea that choices are mostly made by humans, which enhance what we really want, is an idea that’s been around for quite some time. Choice and the psychology behind it is the reason we make the decisions that we do. It’s a subconscious decision that motivates our satisfaction and meeting those satisfactions.

Here are three decision-making theories that will help you to understand the choices you make. It might even encourage you to make better ones!

1. Our emotions connect to our actions

Neuroscientist and professor at USC and Salk Institute, Dr. Antonio Damasio says that our decisions come from visceral emotion. The definition of his theory is that there is a link between “raw” emotions and the part of the brain which governs decisions. He, therefore, concluded that decision making and judgment come from a critical neural circuit.

Damasio concludes that non-rational and rational processes bridge feeling and emotion. If meaning and motivation, would not be possible if emotional input was absent, and decision making could not happen.

Damasio believes that we don’t only base our choices on logic and fact, but also on memories and emotions. This is why we make decisions on unconscious levels. Our intuition guides us.

2. Decisions can be costly – literally!

Does making decisions result in reduced self-control? A study from the University of Minnesota points to yes. The study also showed more procrastination, lack of ability to persist in failed circumstances, decrease in physical stamina, and worsening of arithmetic abilities

Researchers, to conduct the study asked students for help. After dividing into two groups, the teams take on studies much like the others but to understand how choices affect things. Identical product lists were given to all the students in the initial experiment.

A singular group was asked questions revolved around how often, in the past, that the product was used. However, one group was about how often they’d used the products in the past. The same product, with variations, were chosen by the other group. In another experiment, one group answered questions such as this and the other did not.

“Making choices apparently depleted a precious self-resource,” wrote the authors in the conclusion of their study. “This is because subsequent self-regulation is poorer among those who had made choices than it was among those who had not. This pattern became clear in the laboratory, classroom, and shopping mall.”

3. Watch out for bias!

There is absolutely no doubt that our biases affect our choices. However, there is one particular bias that focuses on decision-making theories in many situations.

Loss aversion bias is one such example. No one likes to be left out or miss important things. Fact. However, it isn’t as important to gain something than it is to avoid losing something. This is the way aversion works. The endowment effect shows us through our desire to keep what we have instead of striving for more.

Daniel Kahneman, in yet another study, gave test subjects either an empty mug, nothing or chocolate. They could trade or choose between two other objects. Half of them wanted the mugs, but those who already had mugs did not want to give them up – about 86% of participants, showing the desire to keep the possessions a person already has.

How to make hard decisions easier

Choices are hard, you see. I guess you understand now. No matter what, some choices you make will always be hard. However, some of these decision-making theories might just help you understand your own choices.

We don’t always have a rational reason to make decisions. They cannot separate from our identity, our location, or what helps us decide what to wear. Maybe we will be able to make wiser choices and help others make proper decisions too, as long as we understand psychological influences and factors that affect our decisions.

References:

About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

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tags: behavior, decision making, emotions, evolution, intuition, perception, personality, sherrie

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