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Quando o Poder do Amor superar o Amor pelo Poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix.
Segunda-feira, 18 de Maio de 2020
‘Is My Child a Psychopath?’ 5 Signs to Watch Out For
‘Is My Child a Psychopath?’
5 Signs to Watch Out For
Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)
https://www.learning-mind.com
May 18th, 2020.
Are you worried about your child? Have you noticed a disturbing mean streak in them? Are they not fazed by punishment? Have you ever been so frightened of your child’s behaviour that you start to ask yourself, ‘Is my child a psychopath?’
‘Is My Child a Psychopath?’ – How to Recognize the Signs
Adult psychopaths fascinate us, but they must have come from somewhere. So, would you be able to recognise psychopathic traits in your child?
Historically, studies into child psychopathy have been carried out retrospectively. In other words, we take the adult psychopath and look into his or her childhood. Adult psychopaths can share several traits common in childhood. The MacDonald Triad suggested three such significant traits:
- Bed-wetting
- Cruelty to animals
- Fire-setting
However, subsequent research has criticised the MacDonald Triad. Instead, studies have shown that traits such as ‘callous disregard’ are more common in children who go onto exhibit psychopathy as adults.
“I remember when I bit my mom really hard, and she was bleeding and crying. I remember feeling so happy, so overjoyed—completely fulfilled and satisfied.” Carl*
Adult Psychopathic Traits vs Child Psychopathy
Speaking of adults, adult psychopathic traits are well-documented. We know that psychopaths tend to exhibit certain behaviours.
Adult Psychopathic Traits
The Mayo Clinic defines psychopathy as:
“A mental condition in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the rights and feelings of others.”
Psychopaths make up about 1% of the population. Around 75% are male and 25% female.
Psychopaths share many characteristics. In fact, the Hare Checklist is a specific list of psychopathic traits. The most common adult psychopathic traits are:
- Lying and manipulation
- Lack of morals
- No empathy
- Superficial charm
- Narcissism
- Superiority complex
- Gaslighting
- Lack of conscience
So do children share these same traits as their adult counterparts?
“I wanted the whole world to myself. So I made a whole entire book about how to hurt people. I want to kill all of you.” Samantha*
Child Psychopathy
Well, society does not label children as psychopaths. Instead, children with ‘dark traits’ are described as ‘callous and unemotional’. Experts use this callous-unemotional behaviour (CU behaviour) to form a diagnosis.
Examples of Callous Unemotional Behaviour in Children:
Studies into antisocial behaviour in children have captured several common traits in children as young as 2 years old:
- A lack of guilt after misbehaving
- No difference in behaviour after punishment
- Constant lying
- Sneaky behaviour designed to mislead you
- Selfish and aggressive behaviour when they don’t get what they want
Further research has led to the Youth Psychopathic Traits Inventory (YPI), which is similar to the Hare Checklist. Adolescents answer a series of questions which are then scored to measure the following personality traits:
- Sense of grandiosity
- Lying
- Manipulation
- Callous nature
- No remorse
- Insincere charm
- Unemotionality
- Thrill-seeking
- Impulsiveness
- Irresponsible nature
Children and adolescents that exhibit many of the above CU traits are more likely to commit anti-social behaviour as young adults and end up in prison.
“Don’t let me hurt you, Mom.” Kevin*
Is a Child Psychopath a Product of Nature or Nurture?
There are some experts that believe child psychopaths are born this way. However, others think it is more likely to be a mixture of genes and environment.
Philosopher John Locke first suggested that children are ‘blank slates‘, filled with experiences from their parents and interactions with their environment. But children are more than that. They come with their own readymade personality. This core personality then interacts with family, friends, and society. The environment shapes this core personality into the adults we become.
So what can cause a child to become a psychopath?
What Are the Causes of Child Psychopathy?
Early childhood abuse
One of the strongest indications of child psychopathy is early abuse in childhood. In fact, neglected, abused, or children that grew up in dysfunctional environments are more likely to show psychopathic tendencies later on.
Attachment issues
Separation from a parent or primary caregiver can have devastating effects on a child. We know that it is essential to form an attachment with our parents. However, the parent in question could suffer from addiction or mental health problems.
In fact, studies show that young female psychopaths are likely to have come from dysfunctional home lives.
Victimisation
On the other hand, young male psychopaths are more likely to have been victimised at an early age. The perpetrator carrying out the victimisation can be a parent or the child’s peers. This reasoning confirms what we already know, in that victims of bullying will often become bullies themselves.
Different brain structure
Other studies propose that children who show CU behaviours have differences in their brain structure. This supports the theory that suggests adult psychopaths have different brains to the rest of us.
Children with CU traits have less grey matter in the limbic system. This system is responsible for processing emotions. They also have an underactive amygdala. Someone with an undersized amygdala has problems recognising emotions in others. Therefore, they lack empathy.
“Kill John and Mommy with them (knives). And Daddy.” Beth*
5 Signs Your Child Is a Psychopath
So we can understand some of the causes behind child psychopathy. But if you ask yourself, ‘Is my child a psychopath?’, what signs should you be looking out for?
1. Superficial charm
These children can appear charming but they are mimicking what they’ve seen other people do. The only reason they appear to be charming is to get what they want.
One way you can identify superficial charm in children is to watch their reactions when someone else is upset or distressed. In normal circumstances, seeing someone upset will be in itself upsetting to a child. They will try and comfort whoever is upset. If your child is a psychopath, they won’t care and it certainly won’t upset them.
2. Lack of guilt or remorse
Children with CU behaviour use their charm to manipulate others. If they want something, they will do anything in their power to get it. If this happens to hurt another person in the process, so be it. They don’t understand that their actions have consequences. All they know is that the world is there for them. Therefore, they can do whatever they want.
So look out for selfishness in your child, one that is not prepared to share with others and one that acts aggressively if their needs are not met.
3. Prone to aggressive outbursts
Most parents are used to toddler tantrums, but the aggressive outbursts from child psychopaths are much more than tantrums. If you feel frightened of your own child’s capabilities, it’s a sign of psychopathy.
One other thing to point out is that these outbursts will come from nowhere. For instance, one minute, everything is fine, the next, your child is threatening you with a knife if you don’t get them a new puppy. The outburst is a massive overreaction to the situation.
4. Immune to punishment
Brain scans have shown that reward systems in callous children are overactive, but they are unable to recognise the usual signs of punishment. This leads them to focus doggedly on their own pleasure without being able to stop, even if it means hurting someone. Moreover, they know that if they get caught, they’ll be reprimanded.
We usually temper our behaviour to match the consequences of our actions. If your child is a psychopath, they know the consequences – they just don’t care.
5. No empathy for others
Does your child seem flat behind the eyes? Do you look at them and wonder if they are capable of loving you? It’s not that they don’t know what love is, they just don’t experience it.
Child experts believe that inactivity in the amygdala is to blame. More interestingly, we know that babies, when given the choice, would rather look at human faces than something like a red ball. Studies reveal that children who exhibit CU behaviour prefer the red ball to a face.
“I choked my little brother.” Samantha*
Can a Child Psychopath Be Cured?
So can child psychopaths ever be cured? Probably not. But their behaviour can be modified.
Research has shown that children with CU behaviour do not respond to punishment. However, because their reward centre in the brain is overactive, they do respond to incentives. This is cognitive morality. So while the child may never recognise emotions or understand empathy, they do have a system that rewards them for good behaviour.
Final Thoughts
Nature or nurture, brain abnormalities, or neglect in childhood. Whatever the reason, seeing callous disregard in children is particularly horrifying. But it doesn’t have to mean a life sentence. So if you suspect that your child is a psychopath, you should know that with proper therapy, even the coldest of children can live a relatively normal life.
References:
*Names changed.
About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
Archives:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=Janey+Davies
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=janey+davies
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All articles are of the respective authors or publishers responsibility.
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
Sexta-feira, 15 de Maio de 2020
How the Law of Reciprocity Works and Practical Ways to Use It
How the Law of Reciprocity Works and Practical Ways to Use It
Jamie Logie, B. Sc.
learning-mind.com
May 15th, 2020 .
.The law of reciprocity is all about an action being rewarded with another action in return. But how does this all work exactly, and how do you best use it to benefit your life and the lives of others?
This law is all about spreading to good between us all, and it’s something that more people need to practice. This article will look at how the law of reciprocity works, and some practical ways that you can use it.
What Is the Law of Reciprocity?
The simplest way to look at the law of reciprocity is that you should do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The problem is, this sometimes can take on an ugly form with people only making gestures to get something in return.
This is often used by salespeople who generally have no interest in your betterment and are only out for themselves. They will often give out something for free so the other person feels an obligation to return the favor, which is based around buying a specific product.
We want to ignore this particular aspect that is more about persuasion than it is reciprocity. Instead, we want to focus on reciprocity to spread more joy, support, and caring among one another. This is a law that will usually trigger a positive reaction in another person. When you do even the simplest, kindest gesture, it generally triggers the desire in the person to act similarly.
Reciprocity is about the sense of obligation to return the favor. That may sound like a burden, but we are talking about small, intimate gestures that go a long way in helping us all feel better about ourselves. The act of giving goes a long way in instilling a positive impression in the mind of the other person. And that’s what this is all about; creating as many positive experiences as we possibly can.
What Are Some Ways We Use the Law of Reciprocity Every Day?
You are probably using this law every day, and not even realizing it. A basic example is the idea of a simple smile. When we smile at someone, the other person will usually smile back. Your action is you giving the smile, and the reaction is them returning the smile to you. This is one of the most practical, simple, but still effective ways to practice the law of reciprocity.
We do not understand what other people are going through, and even though they walk around carrying a brave face, they could be suffering on the inside. It’s incredibly powerful what the simple act of a smile can do to another human being and – even for just a moment – it will lift their spirits. That act is returned to you, also causing you a boost in endorphins and a sense of happiness.
This is, of course, the most basic example of this law – but you can see how powerful it really is. Now, you want to continue to put this law into practice as much as possible. What are some other practical ways to use the law of reciprocity?
1. Creating a More Harmonious Home Environment
If things are a bit chaotic in your home, it may seem easier to blow your top than to deal with disastrous situations. Say that you come from work only to discover a mess all around the house. You’re trying to remain calm, but then one of your kids comes running through and knocks a dish off the table, causing it to break. Your child is in near hysterics, and this could end in a total breakdown for everyone, or you could use the law of reciprocity.
It’s not always easy, but in this situation, it would involve not losing your temper and instead, comforting and hugging your child. This would not be the reaction they were expecting while also expecting to be forced to clean it up. Tell your child to go and do something else while you clean it up. It’s not unlikely to find a child resorting to a more peaceful and apologetic situation as they’ve seen the gentle approach you’ve taken and are responding in kind.
By yelling and punishing, you would probably get a similar response. By taking a gentler approach, you allow for inner peace to be created instead of a harsh situation. This is not the easiest thing, but if we do this on a daily level, you will get more positive reactions instead of strife, fear, and anguish.
2. Repay Things as Soon as You Can
This isn’t specifically related to money, but it still applies. One of the most practical ways you can use reciprocity is by returning favors and gestures as soon as you can – even if it’s something small. When you don’t, people can often think you are taking advantage, and that’s the opposite intentions we should go for.
With close friends and family, you may have a little more leeway in the length of time you take to pay someone back because there is a closer intimacy. With people like coworkers or associates, you’ll want to repay them as soon as possible for the reciprocity to work its best.
3. Helping Out A Stranger
We’ve discussed reciprocity with people we are in close contact with, but what does this look like in the outside world with people you don’t know? It’s all about creating the best environment you can in whatever situation you find yourself in. And this can be as simple as holding a door open for a stranger. If it’s an entrance with more than one door, you can be pretty certain they will make sure to hold the next door open for you.
Again, these are small gestures, but reciprocity working like this creates a better sense of community and connection between the people living in it.
Final Thoughts
We all want to live in the most supportive and encouraging society possible. This isn’t always going to be possible, but by practicing the law of reciprocity, we can create the closest semblance to an ideal living situation.
Reciprocity all comes down to being the change you wish to see in the world. If you want joy, kindness, and compassion, it starts with giving it to others. When you do this, you allow it to find its way back to you.
References:
About the Author: Jamie Logie, B.Sc.
Jamie Logie is a certified personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. He holds a bachelor of science (B.Sc.) degree in Kinesiology from the University of Western Ontario, studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".
COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
Archives:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=Jamie+Logie
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=jamie+logie
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
Domingo, 3 de Maio de 2020
8 Types of Listening and How to Recognize Each
.Just as there are many forms of communication, there are different types of listening, and it’s important to recognize each of them.
When we talk about people who are good communicators, it’s mainly that they are good listeners. The ability to actively listen to another person is one of the most valuable traits a person can have. Nothing is more frustrating for a person trying to share how they are feeling than to constantly be interrupted. The person who has the ability to listen is the person who can be most helpful.
Good listeners are empathetic, compassionate, and caring, and this goes a long way with building connections to others. But the fact is, there are several types of listening, and each is important in its own way. This article will look at 8 different listening types and how to recognize them.
How Are the Different Types of Listening Defined?
Most of this work goes back a few decades to the works of Andrew D. Wolvin and Carolyn Coakley. The best way to picture these ideas is with the symbol of a tree. Some forms of listening are more foundational while some are higher-level styles of learning. The base of the tree will make up the foundational type of listening, and that’s where we’ll start.
Basic Types of Listening
1. Discriminative Listening
This is a basic type of listening. It’s the type that simply determines what the sound you are listening to is. When you’re hearing various sounds and trying to decipher what a specific sound is, that’s discriminate listening. We use this type of listening all the time, but often it’s to show if what we are hearing is familiar or not. If you’re out in a crowded place and hear someone talking in a different language, you recognize it as language but aren’t yet sure if it’s familiar to you.
Another great example of why discriminative listening is important is it helps you to focus on a specific sound while dismissing other ones. This is handy if you’re driving a car full of loud people but hear a bad noise coming from the engine. This form of listening allows you to zero in on specific sounds.
So you now know what you’re listening to, what is the next type?
2. Comprehensive Listening
Comprehensive listening would be higher up on the trunk if we are using our tree example. This is a higher order of listening than discriminative listening. With listening of this type, we are now listening so we may understand. You would most often use this type of listening when you are in a classroom or lecture and you are trying to understand the message that someone is relaying to you.
This is another basic form of listening, and the goal of it is to simply understand. You can see how – even though these first two are simple – there is a big jump between discriminative and comprehensive listening. This is the difference between paying attention and really hearing what a person is saying to you instead of hearing them – but tuning them out. It can be quite easy to recognize when someone is actively listening to you compared to their eyes being glazed over, not taking anything in.
Higher Types of Listening
So with the root forms understood now, we move into the higher types of listening, and that brings us to:
3. Appreciative Listening
This is where you’re listening deeper and appreciate the sounds, and the best example of this is with music. There is a difference between having music on as background noise and truly experiencing the sounds you are hearing. This is why we can get real enjoyment from music, but it happens best when you focus on it. It can be any style, the main thing is the appreciation you have for it and what resonates with you. This could be classical music or death metal, the point is that it connects with you and you feel it. You hear the changes in sounds, instruments, and movements being used as opposed to it just sounding like a bunch of noise.
This is a valuable form of listening as it allows for joy in your life. Music can lift the soul and spirit, and this acts as a reward for appreciative listening.
4. Therapeutic Listening
We are continuing to move higher up the tree. This also may be one of the most valuable forms of listening – especially when it pertains to helping others. With therapeutic listening, we are listening intending to help someone. This is one of the types of listening to help someone work through an issue, deal with a problem, and work through different emotions. The best way to look at this is as a genuine therapy session. This is all about empathy and understanding of what another person is going through.
This listening is not just limited to therapists and friends and family helping each other, though. This is an important listening type used by managers, bosses, trainers, and even coaches to help employees learn and develop. As mentioned, it’s easy to recognize this way of listening as the other person is working with you and trying to help.
5. Critical Listening
Now we are getting up to the higher levels of listening and to the very top of the tree. This ends up being a very important style of listening as it helps you to wade through vast amounts of information. An easy way to think of critical listening is when it comes to things like politics, research, science, or different type of reports. We can recognize critical listening when you ask questions like:
- Is this valid?
- Are they making a genuine argument?
- Are they using information that makes sense?
- Am I getting to hear both sides of the story?
- Am I getting presented with all the facts?
This form of listening is more than just understanding but is about analyzing the message we are hearing. This is important to be able to protect ourselves from false or harmful information. Critical listening is about hearing arguments, thoughts, and ideas, but analyzing all the information.
Negative Types of Listening
These are the 5 main types of listening, but there are a few more worth looking at:
6. Passive Listening
Most people aren’t sure if they are a good or bad listener, but it’s easy to tell with passive listening. A passive listener just does not have the ability to listen. They seem disinterested, constantly interrupt, or don’t keep eye contact when engaging with you. They may constantly check their phone or look to be distracted in any way.
7. Competitive Listeners
Whereas the passive listener isn’t good at listening, competitive listening may be worse. Listening of this type is definitely active listening, but only so they may jump in with their own take. Whatever you say, they try to one-up it. You’ve probably encountered this many times when telling a story and the other person brings in their own anecdotes and experiences trying to outdo you.
8. Combative Listening
This is like the competitive listener, but this time, they’re just looking for some form of confrontation. They want to argue just for the sake of arguing. They are actively listening to what you have to say, but only to challenge and combat you on it. They would rather disagree than hear you and understand what you’re trying to say.
Final Thoughts
Listening is an invaluable skill. The best communicators turn out to be that way because they are the best listeners. It turns out that listening is not as simple as it seems and there are many types of listening. By looking through this list, you can see the many types, what purpose they serve, and how to recognize them.
The goal is to be able to hear and understand someone, but engage when the time is right. Most people today feel misunderstood and unheard, so being a person who truly hears them can go a long way in helping and healing others.
References:
About the Author: Jamie Logie, B.Sc.
Jamie Logie is a certified personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. He holds a bachelor of science (B.Sc.) degree in Kinesiology from the University of Western Ontario, studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".
COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=Jamie+Logie
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=jamie+logie
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
Quarta-feira, 22 de Abril de 2020
7 Signs of People Who Lack Empathy and Examples of Their Behavior
7 Signs of People Who Lack Empathy and Examples of Their Behavior
Lauren Edwards-Fowle,
M.Sc. & B.Sc.
learning-mind.com
Posted March 21st, 2020.
.A lack of empathy makes it hard to engage in a meaningful relationship with a person. Being empathetic is an innate human quality, whereby we can appreciate the feelings of other people, regardless of whether those feelings also affect us. What about those who lack empathy?
Why do some people lack empathy?
Being unable to show empathy is often linked to low emotional intelligence. This means that if someone in your life seems unable to relate to how you are feeling, it might not be deliberate.
Having low emotional intelligence means that a person does not have the resources to be able to grasp feelings outside of the spectrum of their own experience. This is similar to a very young child, who has not yet reached emotional maturity. They are the center of their universe and do not feel a response when somebody else is emotional.
In other cases, having little or no empathy can be a trait of a narcissistic person or somebody suffering from an anti-social behavior condition.
Signs of people who lack empathy and examples of their behavior in everyday life:
1. Lack of close relationships
Someone unable to relate to others will find it very difficult to establish long-term relationships. They may have no or very few friends and struggle to maintain a bond even with their immediate family members. This is because a lack of empathy extends to everybody. Thus, they might not feel the emotional bond or familial connection that most of us experience.
Have you ever had a colleague who doesn’t ever contribute to a birthday collection, or won’t bother to sign a card for a sick colleague? They probably don’t see why they should inconvenience themselves with the concerns of other people.
2. Unusual responses to grief
Having no empathy can show through in times of distress. If you have suffered a bereavement, and somebody in your life does not seem interested or offer any kind of condolences, they probably cannot relate to your grief.
As an example, if you have lost a pet that you loved very much, most people will feel sorry for you and understand the sadness and sense of loss you will be feeling. A person without any empathy will not understand why you are upset, and might even make unkind comments.
3. An inability to share in others’ happiness
Here is another example of a behavior that is typical for a person who lacks empathy. If you have had a baby, celebrated graduating, or become engaged, your friends, colleagues, and family will be delighted for you! If there is somebody who doesn’t seem particularly interested or has not offered any congratulations, they may lack the empathy to appreciate your happiness.
It is a sad by-product that someone experiencing this is unable to share in others’ joy. It works in a similar way to being unable to relate to grief.
4. A strong set of irrefutable personal beliefs
An individual who cannot relate to emotions often has a very firm stance on their own beliefs. Thus, they will find it extremely difficult to accept in any situation that they might be wrong. If you have ever had a conversation with a person who will argue black is white – seemingly for the sake of it – they might simply lack the capacity to relate to your argument.
Lacking any kind of emotional maturity renders a person incapable of reconsidering their ideas, or understanding that they might not be right.
5. Egotistical
With an absence of empathy comes a strong sense of self. A person who cannot empathize will likely be very egotistical, as they prioritize themselves in every situation. People may have an inflated ego for many reasons. However, in case of those with low emotional intelligence, this stems from emotional immaturity.
So an emotionally immature adult will often behave in a childish manner. These kinds of people crave attention all the time, act irresponsibly and are unable to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. This could apply to anything, and some examples of this behavior include pushing in the line at the coffee shop to driving inconsiderately.
6. A sense of entitlement
This trait is particularly noticeable in a group dynamic. A person who lacks empathy will often talk endlessly about him/herself. They will brush off any turn in the conversation that does not center on them. This behavior is known as conversational narcissism, and many people can have it without actually being narcissists.
You may know a few examples of such people in your life. You might notice a friend who will ask continually for favours, without any expectation of returning them. It might be that they simply do not understand why they should invest comparable effort into the relationship, and nor consider how their actions might be making you feel.
7. Reacting awkwardly to emotion
Whilst there are many reasons why people find it hard to know how to respond to emotion, people who can’t make an emotional connection will struggle to react in an appropriate way.
Sometimes, emotional outbursts might be a little over the top, and potentially embarrassing. However, hiding your feelings is never healthy, and a few tears to cope with a stressful situation is an ordinary reaction. People who cannot empathize will not know what to do in this circumstance, and will often try to distance themselves completely.
Life without empathy
It can be just as hard to try and get along with someone who doesn’t seem to care about anything but themselves, as it can be being a person who doesn’t grasp the basic human reaction of empathy.
Not being able to relate to your partner, not understanding why people feel a certain way, and being unable to consider any thought process other than your own is a very isolating way to live.
Try not to take it personally; not everyone has reached emotional maturity, and sadly, some people never will. A lack of empathy is not a reflection on you, or the authenticity of your feelings, but is an unfortunate inability to appreciate them.
References:
Lauren Edwards-Fowle
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=Lauren+Edwards-Fowle
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: behavior, emotions, empathy, happiness, lauren edwards-fowle, personal beliefs, personality, relationships
Quinta-feira, 16 de Abril de 2020
4 Differences Between Antisocial and Introvert: Which One Are You?
4 Differences Between Antisocial and Introvert: Which One Are You?
Becky Storey.
https://www.learning-mind.com/
April 16th, 2020
.Introverts are almost always mistaken for being antisocial. The immediate assumption is that they don’t want to be around others because they don’t like anyone. Their reclusiveness is seen as hostile. Antisocial and introvert could appear similar at surface level, but they aren’t the same at all.
Antisocial people could be introverted or extroverted. Being antisocial refers to your behavior towards others. Introvert and extrovert are labels attributed to the way you think and feel about being around others.
What Are Antisocial and Introvert?
Introvert
Being an introvert means your energy levels are depleted quickly from social interaction. While an introvert might also suffer from social anxiety or even be an antisocial person, the “introvert” label doesn’t require it. Introverts can be confident and happy to socialize within their chosen boundaries.
Antisocial
Introvert and antisocial people differ greatly in their willingness to interact with others. Antisocial people are actively unwilling to interact with others. They are often hostile and angry towards other people. Antisocial people, unlike introverts, have no concern for the unwritten rules of social interactions. They are cynical and unempathetic towards others.
Antisocial people will typically prioritize themselves, their work, or their own fun over friends and socializing.
The Differences Between Antisocial and Introvert
1. Energy Drain
Introverts are defined by their loss of energy when they’re interacting with other people. This could be worst in large crowds, or with one on one meetings. It all depends on the person and the intensity of the interaction. In order to replenish their energy, introverts need to be alone or with a small, peaceful group of people they’re close to.
This can be seen as being antisocial because they might leave parties early, or steer clear of big groups socializing altogether. However, these choices have nothing to do with how much they like or even love the people around them, they’re just avoiding mental exhaustion.
Antisocial people have no concept of the energy drain. Their decision to stay way has nothing to do with their energy, and all to do with how little they like being in the company of others. Antisocial people could be extroverts too. Their energy might not be diminished by being around other people, they just don’t enjoy socializing or interacting with them.
2. Care and Concern
By nature, introverts tend to be very empathetic. They care for other people’s feelings deeply. Introverts are often very aware of their own emotions, and this makes them extra perceptive of the emotions of others. They never want to make others feel the kind of discomfort they do at times, so they always make sure to take care of the feelings of the people around them.
Antisocial people differ in that they have little to no care or concern for the feelings of the people around them. They aren’t interested in how their words or actions affect others. Unlike introverts, antisocial people don’t follow the unwritten rules of society or social niceties.
Introverts will usually struggle to admit when they want to leave a gathering or that they don’t have the energy to attend an event. They feel upset and worried that they might hurt someone. Antisocial people will openly admit that they aren’t having fun, or don’t want to go, with no concern for how it might make anyone else feel.
3. Relationships and Connections
Despite plenty of misconceptions, introverts can have plenty of friends and loved ones they’re close to. Many people assume that introverts are shy and reclusive, but this isn’t necessarily the case.
Introverts might be loners, or they might be friendly social people. Introversion is about energy, not the number of friends you have. Introverts are also presumed to be shy and struggle to make new friends. This is, of course, not true. Introverts could happily make new friends, and easily maintain a fun group of old friends.
Antisocial people, on the other hand, don’t choose to make new connections often and likely maintain a very small circle of friends and family. They would rather be alone as often as possible and don’t feel that their lives would be improved with more relationships or connections.
4. Enjoyment Gained
An important difference between people who are antisocial and those who are introverted is how much or how little they enjoy company. Introverts are often shamed for being “boring” and “never want to have any fun”. Admittedly, introverts might choose quieter activities given the choice, but there’s no reason why an introvert can’t enjoy being social.
Introverts can still be party-goers and fun-lovers and enjoy doing things with their friends and the people they love. They might avoid or be apprehensive about talking to large groups of new people, but that’s only down to the impending exhaustion, not an aversion to socializing.
Antisocial people are typically the complete opposite. They genuinely don’t care for socializing or expect to have fun with groups of people. They might have a small circle of friends, but they likely don’t require their presence for excitement or fun.
For too long now, introverts have been mislabelled as antisocial, and it’s just not fair. Introverts can be exciting, adventurous people who like the company of others. They just keep it within their boundaries and protect their energy. If a person is antisocial, then they aren’t protecting themselves, they just don’t care at all. This is the basic difference between antisocial and introvert.
Becky Storey
About the Author: Becky Storey
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=Becky+Storey
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=becky+storey
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: becky storey, behavior, communication, empathy, introversion, introvert's world, mental health, personality, psychology
Why Emotional Awareness Is Important and How to Build It
Why Emotional Awareness Is Important and How to Build It
Jamie Logie, B. Sc.
learning-mind.com
April 15, 2020 .
.Emotional awareness – or emotional intelligence – will not only connect you better to others but also to yourself.
The ability to be aware of the emotions of others can go a long way in creating better connections. Being able to empathize with another person is at the cornerstone of building real intimacy and connection. The better that you can understand emotional awareness, the better you will then be at understanding and helping others.
Emotional awareness is not just an outward trait but ultimately helps you to get a better understanding of yourself. This article will look at why emotional awareness is important and how to build it.
What Is Emotional Awareness?
We face many problems each day. Many of these problems are internal, and many are based on the relationships we have with others. Being an emotionally aware person allows us to confront the many problems with ourselves – and our relationships – with patience, insight, and imagination.
This is all about becoming more aware. More aware of your emotions, more aware of the emotions of others, and more aware of how to control all these emotions.
This awareness is also considered a form of intelligence. We usually associated intelligence with cognitive function and IQ, but intelligence is also connected to emotion. Intelligence or awareness gives us the ability to successfully navigate around certain challenges. In this case, it’s how you can navigate around various emotional situations.
Why Is Emotional Awareness Important?
Building your emotional awareness will have many positive effects on all aspects of your life. It allows you to lower your levels of social anxiety and makes public situations more bearable. You will develop a higher level of self-esteem – which has a great spillover effect on things like career and success.
Emotional awareness is also important to help control and lower levels of depression. And it creates better relationships with family, friends, and those you spend your time with.
Those with a lack of emotional intelligence find life to be extremely frustrating. They have no control over their feelings and actions, lash out at others, push people away, and feel constant anxiety. We can chalk up most broken relationships to a lack of emotional awareness and intelligence.
It helps to look at a lack of emotional intelligence the same way we would with cognitive intelligence. They both create profound repercussions, but with a lack of emotional intelligence; the effect can be much more long-lasting.
Benefits of Having Emotional Awareness
Those with a strong sense of emotional awareness can identify struggles and pain within other people. They can tap in and see that even though someone appears to be acting fine, deep down they are hurting. They have an intrinsic ability to identify what may cause a person to act a certain way.
Those with no emotional intelligence may easily dismiss an angry person, but the emotionally aware individual will see what may be causing this anger behind the scenes. They can identify sorrow that’s being masked by anger, humor, or denial.
It’s these types of people that make the best healers, teachers, leaders, and mentors. They draw others into them and make everyone around them better.
So, with this in mind, how can you build and develop your own emotional awareness? Let’s look at a few ways…
1. Examine Past Events
Look back on any past events that created certain emotions in you. They may have made you sad, jubilant, angry, frustrated, or hopeless. The important thing here is to look at why this event caused a specific emotional response. What or who caused this event? How was the event different than you expected? Could the consequences of the event have been avoided?
This is an important step for building emotional awareness as it helps you to learn what triggers specific emotions in you.
2. The Power of the Pause
Giving a short pause when speaking helps to give your brain a bit of a breather. Instead of just rambling on constantly, giving a brief pause gives you some space. This helps us to not instantly react, but dwell for a moment and consider the different options.
The idea is to create a pause in your own mind and thinking when confronted with an emotion. What usually happens is we experience a feeling and then want to react right away whether it be anger, sadness, or even a physical lashing out. When you focus on taking a pause after experiencing an emotion, you can better control your response.
The emotionally aware person doesn’t stop themselves from feeling an emotion but pauses to simply observe it. Observation is a strong thing and allows you to become better in tune with yourself and in better control of your feelings.
It’s important to remember that emotions change and they are in constant motion. When you learn to observe, and watch your feelings from the perspective of an outsider, the more you will improve your emotional awareness. This is why the pause is so powerful.
3. Increase Your Vocabulary
If you’ve ever seen a frustrated child, you know that a big part of it is because they cannot articulate and verbalize what they are feeling. The same thing happens with those with low emotional awareness.
When you can increase your emotional vocabulary, you become better equipped to express yourself and your feelings. The average person’s emotional vocabulary revolves around simple things like mad, sad, happy, angry, etc.
Mad or angry is often a secondary result of things like frustration, disappointment, or even loss. Being unable to articulate how you truly feel does not create emotional awareness. Identifying a more special emotional vocabulary is an easy way to increase your emotional intelligence.
Here is a progression of a simple word that conveys an emotion but where it can be narrowed down to the true feeling:
- sad –> despair –> powerless
- happy –> proud –> confident
Start to include some of these words to better express yourself, and to help others in verbalizing how they feel:
- frustrated
- irritable
- downtrodden
- anxious
- disillusioned
- devastated
- hesitant
- fulfilled
- hopeful
The more specific your word choice, the better you are at narrowing down how you truly feel. This is genuine emotional awareness.
Final Thoughts
Emotional awareness doesn’t happen overnight. To some people, it comes quite naturally, but others may have to work on it for a while. The main thing is there are some simple tips you can use to build it, and it can always grow and improve.
The better your emotional awareness is, the more emotional strength you can develop. This emotional strength will then allow you to help, inspire, and connect with others.
References:
About the Author: Jamie Logie, B.Sc.
Jamie Logie is a certified personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. He holds a bachelor of science (B.Sc.) degree in Kinesiology from the University of Western Ontario, studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".
COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=Jamie+Logie
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=jamie+logie
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: emotions, empathy, intelligence, jamie logie, mental health, personal development, psychology, relationships, self-improvement
Quinta-feira, 9 de Abril de 2020
How to Cultivate Empathy and Compassion in the Coronavirus Crisis
How to Cultivate Empathy and Compassion in the Coronavirus Crisis
Lottie Miles, M.A.
learning-mind.com
Posted April 8th, 2020.
.During these uncertain times, more and more of us around the world face curfews and social distancing. However, we know that too much inward focus can lead to us feeling isolated. On the other hand, studies show numerous benefits from giving social support and practicing empathy and compassion for others.
Indeed, compassion for others can reduce loneliness and stress and increase feelings of happiness and connectedness. So how can we cultivate empathy and compassion during the time of the coronavirus?
In this post, we outline 5 ways to cultivate these feelings after first looking at why empathy and compassion might be so good for us.
Why Is Compassion and Empathy for Others Beneficial?
During times of need, humans naturally seek to care for and protect others. This happens for biological and neurological reasons.
Inagaki argues that the same neural regions drawn on in maternal caregiving and providing social support to others are also used by the brain to process rewards. Moreover, they inhibit connections in the brain that trigger stress and a sense of threat. This highlights why looking after others can be so good for our mental health.
Caring for others is not just morally right but actually plays a role in the survival of the human species. For example, when caring for a baby who requires intense support at the start of life.
Similarly, the anthropologist Margaret Mead notes that the first sign of civilization in ancient cultures is demonstrated by bones that have healed. If animals break a bone, they will die before it heals. A broken bone that is healed indicates the time has been taken by someone other than the human themselves to care and nurture them back to good health.
Together, these factors might explain why Brown’s study found that providing care for others is actually more beneficial than receiving it. Their study showed that mortality was significantly reduced for those who provided instrumental support to their loved ones.
Receiving support had no effect on mortality. These examples then, serve to highlight that compassion and empathy for others is not just morally right. In fact, they show that compassion is both an evolutionary mechanism of survival and a fundamental aspect of humanity.
Cultivating Empathy and Compassion during the Coronavirus Crisis
So how can you tuck into a healthy dose of compassion and empathy? Here, we outline 5 simple ways you can stay connected with others, build community spirit, and look after one another whilst socially distancing:
1. Follow guidelines & stay home
As the article ‘Half of Uruguay’s coronavirus cases traced to a single guest at a society party’ shows, not staying home can be the least compassionate thing you could do. Therefore, staying home is one of the main ways you can show compassion for everyone during the coronavirus crisis.
One of the most effective methods of helping stop the spread of coronavirus is social distancing. Staying at home more will help you prevent hospitals from being overrun and reduce deaths. People all over the world are practicing similar measures.
So staying at home can actually be a way to feel connected with the global community too. However, it is important to remember how to avoid emotional distancing during social distancing.
2. Community organizing – at a distance
There are so many ways to virtually communicate. WhatsApp, Skype, Zoom, and other communications platforms mean we can look after people in our community in different ways. We can also do this whilst avoiding sharing the same physical space. However, if we are going to effectively care for vulnerable people in our community, it is vital to organize our efforts collectively.
Fortunately, joining a mutual-aid network can help you feel close to the community around you. Together, you will be able to more safely support the vulnerable in your community.
3. Offer to bring groceries to those socially isolating
Whilst you could do this independently of point 2, it will be better if you do them both together. Since the goal of social distancing is minimizing social contact, everyone is required to cut down shop visits.
By coordinating for multiple people at once, we can support more people in one go to get their essentials. This can keep total shop visits down to a minimum in our community whilst helping us cultivate compassion.
4. Be kind to people in vulnerable jobs
When you do have to visit the shop, be kind and grateful to those people having to work to keep things going. If there are no toilet rolls on the shelves or no canned tomatoes to pick up, this is an issue with our supply chains. This may be the fault of the business or the government but not of those on low pay serving you.
It’s unlikely to be ‘panic buyers’ either. People may have full trolleys because they are supporting their neighbors. Alternatively, they might need to cover themselves for up to 2 weeks isolating – that demands larger baskets than normal.
If you get the last bag of flour, why not try giving it away to the person who arrives to see a bare shelf instead? That act of empathy will feed you longer than that flour ever could.
5. Support laid-off workers
Supporting the unemployed could be pointing laid-off workers in the direction of support groups. It could be helping build pressure on governments to support them with reasonable sick pay or a universal basic income.
You could continue paying for services you can’t receive if you can afford it until pressure on the government has been effective. You could make up food parcels and care packages for laid-off workers and their families. Or you can support workers taking collective action. Whether that’s to stop the spread of coronavirus due to unsafe working practices or being forced to work.
Final Words
These are just 5 ways to cultivate empathy and compassion as we face the coronavirus crisis. However, you can practice it in any way you can, big or small. We can also develop empathy in unconventional ways. As the exploration of why it is beneficial shows, practicing compassion can help everyone get through these challenging times. By cultivating empathy, we can all be better off.
Lottie Miles
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=Lottie+Miles
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=lottie+miles
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
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