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Domingo, 24 de Maio de 2020

How to Put Yourself First and 5 Situations When It’s Necessary.

How to Put Yourself First and 5 Situations When It’s Necessary.

Lauren Edwards-Fowle,

M.Sc. and B.Sc.

learning-mind.com

Posted May 24th, 2020.

 
 

 

A pessimist is somebody who always sees the negative side. Pessimistic people expect the worst and are generally seen as unhappy, gloomy individuals. However, how thin is the line between a pessimist and a realist?

Traits of Pessimistic People

1. Always expecting the worst

This can relate to anything; the outcome of a job interview, the reason the phone is ringing, or how fun tonight’s party is going to be. A pessimist is a solid ‘glass half empty’ person and never has hopeful expectations that things will work out better than expected.
2. Finding it hard to see the joy in life
Somebody pessimistic doesn’t decide to be a downer; that would be a negative person who deliberately finds the bad in life. A pessimist might desperately want to feel as excited as everybody else but find it impossible to rationally think the same as others.

3. Difficulty with trusting relationships

As a natural pessimist, a person will take a lot of hard work before they can look to the future with positivity. It can, therefore, be really hard for these people to form close emotional bonds since their innate expectation is that it will turn out badly, and their trust will be crushed.

4. A tendency towards anxiety

Whilst the world around a pessimist will seem naïve, it can be tough to not feel overwhelmed by all the potential for things to go wrong. This can lead to stress and anxiety, feeling isolated with worries and concerns that nobody else can seem to see.

5. Excellent at contingency planning

A pessimist might see himself or herself as a realist; either way, they always have a Plan B. If you can’t accept the likelihood that plans will work out well, you will always be planning for the fallout, and have a back-up plan for when that happens. This makes pessimistic people excellent team members who can cope better than most with problems and challenges.

What Is the Difference between Pessimistic People and Realistic People?

Many pessimists will claim to be realists. They don’t have any other way of thinking and probably feel that all the optimists are gullible and reckless for not seeing the impending danger.
However, realism and pessimism are two different things.

Logic vs. assumption

Realists use their logistical reasoning to decide on what they believe is the most likely outcome. Pessimistic people don’t have this power of logic and will automatically assume the worst, regardless of the evidence to suggest otherwise.

Acceptance of other opinions

A pessimist finds it hard to accept that other people might feel differently from them. They might even feel it is their responsibility to convince others that they are right. A realist, on the other hand, can acknowledge different viewpoints and not take it personally if people disagree with them. They will be sure they are still in the right though!

Keeping control

Being incapable of seeing the positive in anything can be a demotivating experience. It often leads pessimistic people to experience anxiety and stress. Realists don’t suffer in the same way, knowing that their opinions are borne from fact and deduction.

What Are the Benefits of Being a Pessimistic Person?

It isn’t all doom and gloom. So if you think you may be a natural pessimist, there are some positives to take away from this personality trait!

1. Limited expectations

This may seem like a downside, but in fact, a pessimist who sets the bar for their expectations low will be more often happily surprised than other people. This can be an effective defense mechanism to cope with previous disappointments and mitigate the chance of being badly hurt.

2. Preventative healthcare

If you always expect the worst, you are very likely to be convinced that every lump and bump is a terminal illness. Pessimists tend to take very good care of themselves and react quickly to any potential health problems. This makes them much more likely to effectively manage any illnesses that do come their way.

3. Resistance to pressure

Pessimistic people are less prone to believing fake news or listening to bad advice than most of us. They use a negative outlook as a cognitive tool to analyze and respond to new situations. Thus, they have better courage in their convictions than most. This makes pessimists far less likely to buy into propaganda than any other people.

4. No forced feelings

An optimist will often be crushed when something works out badly. A pessimistic person will have seen it coming all along, so they will have been emotionally preparing for the fallout. Usually, an optimist will feel the need to continually be upbeat, to the point of faking it when they are feeling bad, which can be a stressful experience.

Conclusion

The reality is that most of us don’t choose our personalities and need to learn coping strategies to manage our less positive traits. However, there is always the capacity to change. Recognizing any tendencies that you would like to work on is the first step to effecting personal development.
There isn’t anything wrong with being a pessimistic person, much as there isn’t anything bad about being an optimist. Both have pluses and negatives, and both will leave you vulnerable to certain outcomes that will impact harder on your psyche than somebody with a different mindset.
Accepting who you are, and how best to deal with your personality to ensure it doesn’t negatively affect your relationships and social interactions is critical for all of us to make sure we are true to ourselves and living our best lives.
References:
  1. Psychology Today
  2. The Conversation

 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle

 
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 
 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 


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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

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publicado por achama às 17:33
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Quarta-feira, 22 de Abril de 2020

7 Signs of People Who Lack Empathy and Examples of Their Behavior

7 Signs of People Who Lack Empathy and Examples of Their Behavior

Lauren Edwards-Fowle,

M.Sc. & B.Sc.

learning-mind.com

Posted March 21st, 2020.

 
 

 

A lack of empathy makes it hard to engage in a meaningful relationship with a person. Being empathetic is an innate human quality, whereby we can appreciate the feelings of other people, regardless of whether those feelings also affect us. What about those who lack empathy?

Why do some people lack empathy?

Being unable to show empathy is often linked to low emotional intelligence. This means that if someone in your life seems unable to relate to how you are feeling, it might not be deliberate.
Having low emotional intelligence means that a person does not have the resources to be able to grasp feelings outside of the spectrum of their own experience. This is similar to a very young child, who has not yet reached emotional maturity. They are the center of their universe and do not feel a response when somebody else is emotional.
In other cases, having little or no empathy can be a trait of a narcissistic person or somebody suffering from an anti-social behavior condition.

Signs of people who lack empathy and examples of their behavior in everyday life:

1. Lack of close relationships

Someone unable to relate to others will find it very difficult to establish long-term relationships. They may have no or very few friends and struggle to maintain a bond even with their immediate family members. This is because a lack of empathy extends to everybody. Thus, they might not feel the emotional bond or familial connection that most of us experience.
Have you ever had a colleague who doesn’t ever contribute to a birthday collection, or won’t bother to sign a card for a sick colleague? They probably don’t see why they should inconvenience themselves with the concerns of other people.

2. Unusual responses to grief

Having no empathy can show through in times of distress. If you have suffered a bereavement, and somebody in your life does not seem interested or offer any kind of condolences, they probably cannot relate to your grief.
As an example, if you have lost a pet that you loved very much, most people will feel sorry for you and understand the sadness and sense of loss you will be feeling. A person without any empathy will not understand why you are upset, and might even make unkind comments.

3. An inability to share in others’ happiness

Here is another example of a behavior that is typical for a person who lacks empathy. If you have had a baby, celebrated graduating, or become engaged, your friends, colleagues, and family will be delighted for you! If there is somebody who doesn’t seem particularly interested or has not offered any congratulations, they may lack the empathy to appreciate your happiness.
It is a sad by-product that someone experiencing this is unable to share in others’ joy. It works in a similar way to being unable to relate to grief.

4. A strong set of irrefutable personal beliefs

An individual who cannot relate to emotions often has a very firm stance on their own beliefs. Thus, they will find it extremely difficult to accept in any situation that they might be wrong. If you have ever had a conversation with a person who will argue black is white – seemingly for the sake of it – they might simply lack the capacity to relate to your argument.
Lacking any kind of emotional maturity renders a person incapable of reconsidering their ideas, or understanding that they might not be right.

5. Egotistical

With an absence of empathy comes a strong sense of self. A person who cannot empathize will likely be very egotistical, as they prioritize themselves in every situation. People may have an inflated ego for many reasons. However, in case of those with low emotional intelligence, this stems from emotional immaturity.
So an emotionally immature adult will often behave in a childish manner. These kinds of people crave attention all the time, act irresponsibly and are unable to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. This could apply to anything, and some examples of this behavior include pushing in the line at the coffee shop to driving inconsiderately.

6. A sense of entitlement

This trait is particularly noticeable in a group dynamic. A person who lacks empathy will often talk endlessly about him/herself. They will brush off any turn in the conversation that does not center on them. This behavior is known as conversational narcissism, and many people can have it without actually being narcissists.
You may know a few examples of such people in your life. You might notice a friend who will ask continually for favours, without any expectation of returning them. It might be that they simply do not understand why they should invest comparable effort into the relationship, and nor consider how their actions might be making you feel.

7. Reacting awkwardly to emotion

Whilst there are many reasons why people find it hard to know how to respond to emotion, people who can’t make an emotional connection will struggle to react in an appropriate way.
Sometimes, emotional outbursts might be a little over the top, and potentially embarrassing. However, hiding your feelings is never healthy, and a few tears to cope with a stressful situation is an ordinary reaction. People who cannot empathize will not know what to do in this circumstance, and will often try to distance themselves completely.

Life without empathy

It can be just as hard to try and get along with someone who doesn’t seem to care about anything but themselves, as it can be being a person who doesn’t grasp the basic human reaction of empathy.
Not being able to relate to your partner, not understanding why people feel a certain way, and being unable to consider any thought process other than your own is a very isolating way to live.
Try not to take it personally; not everyone has reached emotional maturity, and sadly, some people never will. A lack of empathy is not a reflection on you, or the authenticity of your feelings, but is an unfortunate inability to appreciate them.
References:
  1. Very Well Mind
  2. Psychology Today

 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 
 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

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publicado por achama às 17:25
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Domingo, 19 de Abril de 2020

5 Signs the Proud Person in Your Life Is Just Arrogant.

5 Signs the Proud Person in Your Life Is Just Arrogant.

Lauren Edwards-Fowle,

M.Sc. & B.Sc.

learning-mind.com

Posted March 19th, 2020.

 
 

 

Pride is the great quality of appreciating your successes and having confidence in your endeavors. However, when does pride become toxic and become a manifestation of arrogance? Could the proud person you know be just conceited? Do you sometimes feel that your significant other isn’t proud but has reached the tipping point of becoming arrogant?

What is the difference between pride and arrogance? Let’s take a look at how to work out whether a proud person is just conceited.

Defining pride:

The dictionary defines pride as:
“Feeling self-respect or pleasure in something by which you measure your self-worth; or being a reason for pride.”
Feelings of pride reflect your emotions arising from an accomplishment. Feeling proud of yourself is linked to an achievement or success that has rewarded your efforts with positivity.
Pride doesn’t just relate to yourself; you can be proud of others or proud of group achievements. It connects with other feelings, such as honor, dignity, and self-respect. Pride is justifiable and has an identifiable reason.
Confidence is not a bad trait, and being proud of your successes can lead to improvements in self-esteem. The problem, of course, comes with overwhelming pride, and when confidence eclipses those positive character traits and becomes arrogance.

Defining arrogance:

Arrogance is not the same thing as pride; a proud person is not necessarily conceited. Being arrogant is similar to other negative perspectives:
  • Vanity
  • Conceitedness
  • Selfishness
  • Disrespectfulness
An arrogant person believes himself or herself to be superior to others, whether or not they have a logical reason to think so. They consider themselves more valuable, their contributions more important, and have excessive expectations of their abilities.
This leads to dominance, an elevated impression of a person’s talent, and a lack of regard or respect for other people around them. Conceitedness is not justifiable, is not necessarily linked to any achievements or successes, and applies only to that person’s opinion of themselves.

Signs that a proud person is just arrogant

1. They demand to be the center of attention

People who have achieved great things have every right to be proud. However, talent speaks for itself, and sometimes the most successful people shy away from the limelight. A conceited person will insist on being the center of attention at all times.
This can manifest as:
  • Talking over people in conversation
  • Raising their voice to be heard, or drowning out others
  • Turning every subject around to talk about themselves
  • Having a dominant personality
  • Refusing to let anybody else make decisions

2. They feel threatened by other proud people

Somebody who has much to feel confident about will welcome interesting conversations, personal challenges, and meeting new people. If you are confident in yourself and have a healthy level of self-respect, it is unusual to feel intimidated by others.
An arrogant person will often feel ‘at risk’ when confronted with other people who, perhaps, would be able to spot the flaws in their persona and contradict their boasting of accomplishments.

3. They are often irritated or annoyed by people they perceive as weak

Selfish people don’t have much time for others, and will usually try to surround themselves with a social group they consider to be their peers. Conceited people also often attempt to ingratiate themselves with connections with greater achievements than their own, either to gain a higher social status or because they believe themselves to be on a par.
Likewise, an arrogant person will find quieter people or those they consider to be weak an annoyance. They do not have empathy, will not be willing to spend any time with people who don’t further their objectives, and will quickly become frustrated and annoyed.

4. They always believe themselves to be right

Vanity means believing your ideas, suggestions or thoughts to be far superior to those that anybody else could come up with. Arrogant people are uncompromising and extremely difficult to work and live with.
Have you ever seen somebody watching an expert on the news, or viewing a professional sports event, and insist that they know better, or could have done a better job? That is an example of excessive pride, whereby a person truly thinks his or her power of thought, and physical performance is better than anybody else’s – no matter how much evidence there might be to the contrary!

5. They have no respect for other people

If people have an extremely high opinion of themselves, they probably don’t have much room in their psyche for considering anybody else.
A person with excess pride will often show this in lots of small ways, which can conclusively point to their lack of respect for other people:
  • Always being late
  • Never doing a favor for anybody else
  • Having high expectations from the people in their lives
  • Being unwilling to show any generosity
  • Speaking over people
  • Putting the phone down without saying goodbye
  • Interrupting constantly

Conclusion

Being proud and confident are not bad qualities to have. Everybody should feel a sense of pride when they have achieved something difficult, or shown resilience and forbearing. However, arrogance is something quite different, and spending a lot of time around it can be draining.
If you think that the proud person in your life may be arrogant, perhaps now is the time to address the problem. They may not realize that their behaviors have gone too far, and being conscious of how they come across could be a wake-up call to reel in the temptation to dominate every relationship.
An innately conceited person might not be capable of change, in which case the best thing to do is to consider your capacity to manage and cope with their personality. If it is harming you, and you constantly feel exhausted by having to make up for their bad behavior, it may be time to start putting yourself first.

 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 
 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

 Alternatives to YouTube
bitchete.com
brighteon.com

 
 
 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 23:40
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Quinta-feira, 13 de Fevereiro de 2020

How Distinction Bias Is Tricking You into Making the Wrong Choices

How Distinction Bias Is Tricking You into Making the Wrong Choices.

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted February 12th, 2020.

 



 
We all like to think we are in control of our decisions, but these are often influenced by many factors around us, leading our thought processes in one direction.
 
What is distinction bias?
 
Distinction bias is the influence of making a choice when presented with two similar options side by side simultaneously. This is a tactic often used by retailers, who display a system of ‘good, better and best’ products alongside each other.
 
 
It may be that the best product is manufactured to the same standard and performs the same as the good product. However, the price differential creates a perception of quality and drives the customer to buy the more expensive item.
 
This applies to many scenarios where your own instinctive choice is interrupted by a comparable which makes you reconsider.
 
How does it affect relationships?
 
If you find someone really attractive and enjoy spending time with them, it would be natural to consider taking things further. You aren’t presented with a raft of options to compare against one another. You are guided by your feelings, emotions and instinct.
 
However, if they are introduced next to their twin who is slightly taller and perhaps better dressed, would you still proceed with your intuitive response to get to know your initial crush? Or, would you subconsciously start comparing them with another person simply because they are standing next to each other?
 
Can it change the way we treat people?
 
It most certainly can, and does. A great example is that of behavior comparisons. This happens most around people you know well, such as your child or your spouse. You have a preconceived idea about their personality, and how they behave. This means that when something out of the ordinary happens, you immediately start comparing their actions or words with their everyday persona.
 
Examples of distinction bias in real life
 
Situations which you would consider perfectly acceptable in anybody else become the kindle for an argument. For example, you have spent a lot of time choosing your child’s party fancy dress outfit and think they look fabulous. You take lots of pictures and are really proud. Then you take them to a party, and some of the other kids have outfits much more elaborate than yours. Are you suddenly feeling a little inadequate, or that you should have made more effort?
 
Why? Five minutes ago you were glowing with pride!
 
The same can apply to working alongside a spouse. In their everyday life, they are friendly, amiable and easy-going. When you work together on a project, you find them bossy, loud and controlling. In actuality, any other professional leading a project in the same way would be fine with you. However, because it is your spouse, and you are now seeing them contrasted with their persona at home, you find it irksome and annoying.
 
 
Why? They’re a great professional doing their job!
 
Can we avoid being influenced by distinction bias?
 
Yes, we can – being aware that it exists, and that we are all susceptible to being influenced is important in so many ways. The old cliché of the grass being greener on the other side rings true. However, it is human nature to analyze our choices more carefully when we have another, perhaps ‘better’ option available, which might negate our happiness with our gut instinct.
 
Often, taking a step back from making a decision and being able to rationalize and think about the choices we make – or are about to make – is a great way to avoid making a poor choice without having really understood why.
 
If you are buying something and have set yourself a budget, try to remember that. Don’t be driven by the glossy packaging of a product which is marketed in a way to influence you to spend more money than you need to.
 
Where does distinction bias most affect us?
 
One of the biggest places within modern life where distinction bias causes negative effects is social media. Every platform presents the user with multiple images, people and products all displayed side by side.
 
This scenario creates a situation where we are constantly making comparisons and scrutinizing which person, or which product, is ‘the best’. This culture of comparison leads to toxic emotions such as jealousy, resentment, and lack of self-worth.
 
Remember that social media is a place where every person and company showcase the very best of themselves. Individual images or captions are highly unlikely to be indicative of daily life.
 
There is a growing movement to be more conscious of the alternate reality which is presented online. Particularly where influencers or celebrities target adverts manipulating the fears of groups of people, there is new legislation being introduced to regulate this. It can be all too easy for a young impressionable person to feel bombarded with pictures of beautiful, slim strangers. They might feel that they look differently and become convinced that they are not worth as much.
 
In this situation, it is extremely powerful to remember that this is another symptom of distinction bias. There is absolutely no need to compare your visual identity to that of anybody else. Looking at each part of your life in direct comparison with others is not a healthy way to make life choices.
 
How can we live our lives free of cognitive bias?
 
In reality, it is probably impossible to never allow any outside influence to impact our way of thinking. Salespeople love to think they ‘can’t be sold to’, but we all respond to factors in a human way.
 
Being mindful of your thoughts, how much pressure you put on yourself to make a decision, and analyzing why you are making a choice are all simple ways to keep on track. Being accountable for your decisions, particularly organizational or financial ones that impact your family, can help you to rationalize your actions and keep your focus on what you set out to achieve without deviating.
 
 
References:
  1. Psychology Today
  2. Research Gate

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 
 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
Free counters!

  geoglobe1
 
 
tags: , , , , , , , ,
publicado por achama às 01:50
link | comentar | favorito
Quarta-feira, 5 de Fevereiro de 2020

How to Deal with Negative People in Your Workplace, Family or Friend Circle

How to Deal with Negative People in Your Workplace, Family or Friend Circle.

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted February 4th, 2020.

 
 
 
 
Handling negative people is a drain on our energy. It is often recommended to distance yourself from toxic relationships. However, sometimes we all have to learn how to deal with negative, critical and judgmental people, particularly of those people are colleagues, friends or family members.
 
Here are some tips and guidance to help you to learn how to deal with negative people, in the most positive way:
 
1. You are not responsible
 
It is all too easy to think that, when faced with a negative person, it is your responsibility to try and change their opinion. Sometimes this just is not possible and will drain your vitality in trying to do so.
 
Adults are responsible for their own behaviour. If a colleague is constantly complaining and trying to share their negative emotions with the rest of the team, it is not your job to make them happier in their role or workplace.
 
This particularly applies to friends and family. If a friend is very negative and unhappy about every situation, you can listen and show them moral support. However, you cannot put yourself under the pressure of trying to resolve all of their problems.
 
Make sure that, when faced with a negative person, you create your own space. Try not to let yourself be sucked into negative behaviour, and remain a bystander who has a sympathetic ear.
 
That isn’t to say that you might not have some helpful advice or suggestions, but do not overload yourself with trying to manage other people’s emotional responses. You are responsible for yourself, and how you engage, no more and no less.
 
2. Help where you can
 
Sometimes people just have a bad outlook on life, and nothing you say or do can turn that around. However, it can be useful to try and understand where negative people are coming from so that you can easier deal with them.
 
It may be that a colleague needs to vent; if you are in a position to let them air their concerns, feel free to do so. They may just need a friend to be able to express him or herself to, and get all their frustrations out in the open.
 
In this circumstance, they might be best advised to consult with the HR team or an appropriate manager. It can something just need a little nudge in the right direction to reflect their negativity on the solution they require.
 
Family members are another key example. When a member of your family is constantly critical, it can be difficult to want to spend time with them and can cast a cloud over family events.
 
Perhaps they feel ignored, or that their viewpoint is not being acknowledged. You can try to listen, and engage with their perspective from an empathetic standpoint. Don’t forget though that ultimately, you are not responsible for their actions.
 
3. Create boundaries
 
Easier said than done! When we have negative people in our immediate social circle, it can be very hard to create any kind of personal distance.
 
In order to safeguard your own emotional wellbeing, you should consider when and how you allow yourself to be exposed to negative behaviour. There are simple ways to effect boundaries, which protect you from being bombarded with negativity, and the impact this can have:
 
Own your own time
 
In the workplace, if you have a persistently negative colleague who impacts your working day, then consider when and how you deal and engage with them. If you tend to chat over lunch, then decide whether you are happy to continue doing so, or wish to change your break time. Once you leave the office, you are under no obligation to respond to messages or emails, and can set them aside and clear your mind to spend your personal time positively
 
Walk away
 
We all have a limit on how many stressors we can absorb in a given day. If you feel overwhelmed with problems and complaints, set a time limit on this part of your day. You can choose to walk away or schedule your time. If you have a social engagement and know that a particular friend will make this feel difficult, you can break away as and when you need to. Do not feel obligated to spend the entire time trying to deal with negativity.
 
4. Accept your feelings
 
Acknowledging that you find it hard to deal with negative people is fine. However, applying this to a close family member or friend can give rise to conflicting emotions.
 
You are allowed to feel saddened or frustrated at the attitude of somebody you love. It is particularly hard when a family member is constantly negative. So you end up feeling anxious about needing to spend time with them as it will not be a happy and positive experience from your own perspective.
 
Accepting somebody you love despite his or her bad traits is a tough part of family life. Try finding other members of your family who understand and can help to share the load of dealing with this negative person. This takes the pressure away from any one person.
 
The way we deal with negative people in our life evolves as we mature. The one factor to remember is that you control your behaviour, and how you engage with people, and not how anybody else chooses to. It is your response, and your coping mechanisms, which can keep this under control and prevent negative attitudes from having an impact on your own well-being.
 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 
 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 03:27
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Terça-feira, 21 de Janeiro de 2020

Got a Friend Who Is Always Asking for Favors? How to Handle Them and Set Boundaries

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 19th, 2020.

 
 
 

 
 
Friendships come in all shapes and sizes, and we will usually have one friend who is always asking for favors. Give and take is a normal part of friendship, but what can you do when it becomes a recurring theme?
 
Take a look at my suggestions as to how to deal with that friend who is constantly asking for favors, and how to create boundaries.
 
Recognize the signs of being used
 
One immediate sign of a friendship that is not genuine is a friend who is always asking for favors and offers nothing in return. If you have ever felt that a friendship is completely one-sided, you may be being used.
 
 
It is useful to consider what you are gaining from this friendship.
  • Do you enjoy their company, or dread having to meet up?
  • Are they funny and/or share your interests, or do you feel obliged to maintain contact?
  • Have they acknowledged the favors you have done, or taken them for granted?
 
Dealing with toxic ‘friendships’
 
If you reflect on a friendship and know that it is proving toxic, then there is only one answer; to move on.
 
This is the worst-case scenario, but you are responsible for your wellbeing, and cannot sustain a friendship purely because you feel obliged to. Toxic people drain your energy and your resources, and will not stop using you for the favors they are constantly asking for unless you put a stop to it.
 
Creating boundaries
 
Most of the time, friends who are always asking for favors do so simply because you let them. They might not even realize they are doing it, or that it is causing you distress.
 
The most important thing for you to do to sustain a friendship that you value is to talk openly about your concerns.
 
If you find yourself saying ‘yes’ to everything, even at great inconvenience, you are validating unreasonable behavior. Most friends will not take advantage of kindness intentionally, but people can be thoughtless and might be falling into the habit of relying on you without considering other options.
Preserve your space
 
Open discussion can be uncomfortable, but if you wish to keep your relationship, then honesty is essential. Tell your friend that you have concerns about them always asking for favours. They might have no idea that they are repeating this behavior, and if they place equal value on your friendship will be able to discuss it with you.
 
Alternatively, if you think this conversation may cause conflict, you can put in place your barriers subtly. If this does not change their behavior and they continue asking for favors constantly, then it is time for ‘the talk’.
 
Establishing control
 
Remember that you always have control over your actions, but not those of others. Consider whyyour friend is always turning to you and asking for favors.
  • Do you always say yes?
  • Have you ever tried saying no?
  • If you have said no, was that an end to the request?
  • Could you say yes, but within a timescale that is convenient for you?
  • Have you tried recommending another friend or resource that might be more suitable?
 
Sometimes we unwittingly reinforce bad behavior to avoid conflict. In doing so, we set ourselves up for a difficult time by confirming the validity of this behavior. In the case of a friend who is always asking for favors, if you haven’t ever said no, how do you know how they would react?
 
Managing contact
 
In this day and age, many of us are guilty of feeling like we have to be available 24/7. Doing this makes us open and available to anybody at any time, and neglects the importance of taking time for ourselves.
 
One of the key ways to establish and maintain your boundaries is to choose when and how you are available. This is very simple!
  • Turn off your phone when you don’t wish to be disturbed.
  • Don’t feel obliged to check your messages when you are busy at work, or about to go to sleep.
Try not replying immediately to every message, and give yourself time to consider your response before replying
 
By establishing your own ‘rules’ about how you communicate, you take back control of your time and recognize the value of your space.
 
Building distance
 
If you are finding it hard to create boundaries, then a little distance may be what is needed.
 
It is hard to consider creating distance between yourself and a friend. But if the relationship is turning toxic and you are forgetting why you became friends in the first place, this is essential to preserve goodwill.
 
 
You could try creating a different ringtone for your friend who is always asking for favors. This gives you a choice about whether or not to pick up the phone, or whether to return a call when you are in a good position to talk and consider your answer if they are calling to ask for another favor.
 
Turning the tables
 
This is a tricky one, but if you are concerned that a friendship is turning sour and that your friend is always asking for favors to manipulate the friendship, you could try asking for one back.
 
I do not believe in creating scenarios intended to make somebody ‘fail a test’. However, if you think you might be being used but aren’t sure enough that you want to cause conflict within your friendship, next time you do need a favor, you could try asking this friend and seeing how they respond.
 
The chances are that if they are always relying on you for help that they trust and respect your opinion. Being able to ask for support from your friends is an essential part of making sure that trust runs both ways.
 
If your friendship means as much to them as it does to you, next time you need a lift somewhere, or for a friend to check in on your cat, make this friend your first call. Hopefully, they will jump at the chance to return your kindness.
 
And if they don’t? At least you know exactly where you stand.

 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 
 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com
 
 
 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 03:32
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Segunda-feira, 20 de Janeiro de 2020

Immature Adults Will Display These 7 Traits and Behaviors

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 20th, 2020.

 
 
 
Emotional maturity usually comes naturally, but for some people, this step of growth seems to have been missed. Dealing with immature adults can be difficult and stressful. A person who isn’t able to grasp the concept of negotiation is as difficult to deal with as a toddler – hence being an immature adult!
 
Here are some key examples of the behaviors and traits of immature adults to look out for.
 
It can also be interesting to analyze whether you are also guilty of some of these traits and need to apply maturity to those situations.
 
1. Lack of emotional control
 
Adults who lack maturity will have little control over their emotions and overreact in much the same way as a small child. Have you ever seen a child screaming and crying in a supermarket because they couldn’t choose a product from the shelf? That is a primary example of immaturity.
 
Children, of course, are not expected to be emotionally mature. They need time and guidance to learn how to process and express their feelings. Immature adults have never learned this, and so can lash out, act out of proportion with the situation or become overwhelmingly emotional.
 
This sign of an immature adult often stems from a cushioned childhood or having a condition that makes them unable to get in touch with their feelings.
 
2. Lack of independence
 
Immature people will not behave with the independence that we expect when reaching maturity. Traits may include a reliance on a parent or partner to cook their food or provide other general household tasks such as laundry.
 
It may be that immature adults simply haven’t ever been taught the necessary skills to take care of their own needs and have grown up learning complete reliance on others.
 
In this situation, continuing to support their dependence is never a good idea. Adults who have come to rely on others will never be able to support themselves if they do not have any reason to learn the essential life skills they are missing.
 
3. Irresponsibility
 
Immature adults often are most easily identified by their lack of respect for finances and possessions – whether their own or somebody else’s. This stems from the nature of children who don’t yet understand the value or worth of things since they are reliant on a parent or guardian to provide for them.
 
Most adults learn this value very quickly, and in particular when joining the workforce and learning to equate money and possessions with their income. However, an immature adult has never learned to respect their finances and can be very irresponsible and fickle with money.
 
4. Selfishness
 
One of the common behaviors of immature people is innate selfishness. They may find it difficult to relate to or empathize with others, and may, therefore, struggle to maintain healthy relationships of any kind.
 
This behavior echoes a small child who exists within their world and hasn’t yet learned to empathize. An adult who lacks maturity will be unable to consider anything from the perspective of another person. They will only have an interest in fulfilling their desires.
 
For this reason, immature adults are often untrustworthy and prone to lie, as with children. This is less likely to be malicious, and more likely to be a product of their selfish nature. It means that they simply cannot accept responsibility for their actions, or perceive the equal value of others.
 
5. Oversharing
 
An immature adult usually tends not to have a filter. This is a key trait that is identifiable within children who often need parents to explain cultural norms. For example, discussing other people loudly in a queue or asking potentially hurtful questions in innocence.
 
This trait can often be seen on social media and reflects the emotional immaturity of an adult who needs to feel validated by the opinions of others. Perhaps less obvious than some of the other behaviors of immature adults, oversharing and not being able to pursue their own goals without external validation is a key trait.
 
6. Being egocentric
 
Small children, and even teenagers, often crave attention and holding the spotlight. This behavior is seen in immature adults, who desire attention at all costs and will often upstage others to ensure they receive it.
 
A sign of this trait could be an adult who creates unnecessary drama at a celebratory event which is not being held for them. Or it could be a friend who discusses problems at every opportunity without giving thought to whether it is appropriate.
 
This can be a sign of an immature adult who has always felt themselves to be competing for attention. It can also be a sign of an adult who has always been the center of attention throughout their upbringing. Thus, he or she has not developed the maturity to share the spotlight from time to time.
 
7. Inability to sustain relationships
 
We all know that relationships of any nature need equal effort to sustain them. Immature adults areoften single or change romantic partners regularly. They are also likely to have few friends, as they cannot commit to other people, to show empathy or to understand the priorities and perspectives of people around them.
 
An immature adult may either have few people close to them or only be close to family members who likely continue to treat them as a child.
 
How to deal with immature adults?
 
There is no hard and fast way to manage immature people. But the best course of action is never to support their poor behavior. This will only reinforce their conditioned emotional responses and support this continuing.
 
 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 
 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com
 
 
 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
Free counters!

  geoglobe1
 
 
tags: , , , , , , ,
publicado por achama às 20:47
link | comentar | favorito

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