Sábado, 23 de Maio de 2020

9 Signs You Have Mean World Syndrome and How to Fight It

9 Signs You Have Mean World Syndrome and How to Fight It

Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)

https://www.learning-mind.com

May 23rd, 2020.

 
 
 
 
There’s an unwritten rule we all tend to assume. The rule is ‘the more violence a person views on TV, the more violent their tendencies are in real life’. But one person believed the reverse to be true. That in fact, the more violent the media, the more frightened we become. This is Mean World Syndrome.

What Is Mean World Syndrome?

Mean World Syndrome describes a psychological bias where a person believes the world is a more violent place because they watch a large amount of violence on TV.
Mean World Syndrome is based on the research of Hungarian Jewish journalist George Gerbner. Fascinated by the influence of violence on TV on our perceptions of society, Gerbner wondered why, if we are all now consuming larger amounts of violence on TV are the real-life crime figures dropping.

How to Spot the Signs of Mean World Syndrome?

You might think to yourself that there’s no way you would succumb to this way of thinking, but here are just some of the signs of Mean World Syndrome:
  • Do you believe that most people are just looking out for themselves?
  • Would you be afraid of walking through your neighbourhood at night?
  • Are you cautious when interacting with strangers?
  • Would you cross the road if you saw a man of ethnic minority approaching you?
  • Do you think people should go home to their native countries?
  • Are most people out to take advantage of you?
  • Would you be unhappy if a Latino or Hispanic family moved in next-door?
  • Do you avoid people of different ethnic backgrounds?
  • Do you always tend to watch the same types of programme i.e. horror, gore?

Violence and TV: What Leads Us to Develop Mean World Syndrome?

We tend to think of the TV as an innate and harmless form of entertainment. It sits in our living rooms, we turn it on to appease bored children, or it remains on in the background unnoticed. But TV has changed throughout the decades.
For instance, I’m 55 years old now, and I remember the very first time I watched The Exorcist. It frightened me for nights on end. I happened to show the film to a few friends who were twenty or so years younger than me, expecting them to have the same visceral reaction. But they just laughed.
It’s easy to see why. Films like Hostel show a woman’s eyes blowtorched in graphic detail. In contrast, Linda Blair’s turning head just looks comical.
I think we can agree that TV and films, in particular, portray violence in a much more graphic way these days. But the majority of us watch violence like this on TV and do not turn into serial killers. And this is what interested Gerbner.

See Violence, Commit Violence?

Historically, psychologists focused on whether those who had been exposed to media violence would be more likely to commit violence in real life. Gerbner believed exposure to media violence was far more complex. He suggested that consuming media violence is more likely to make us scared and fearful. But why?
Gerbner found that people with moderate to heavy TV and media viewing habits were more likely to believe they would be a victim of violence. They were also more worried about their personal security. They were less likely to go out in their own neighbourhood at night.
These responses differed greatly from people with light viewing habits. In this case, light viewers had a more rounded and generous view of society.
“Our studies have shown that growing up from infancy with this unprecedented diet of violence has three consequences, which, in combination, I call the “mean world syndrome.” What this means is that if you are growing up in a home where there is more than say three hours of television per day, for all practical purposes you live in a meaner world – and act accordingly – than your next-door neighbour who lives in the same world but watches less television.” Gerbner

So What Exactly Is Going On?

There’s a historical view of media and TV violence that we viewers are passive in our entertainment. We are like sponges, soaking up all the gratuitous violence. This old view suggests that TV and media fire information like a bullet into our minds. That TV and media can control us like automatons, feeding our minds with subliminal messages.
Gerbner saw things differently. He did believe that TV and media played a crucial role in the way we view society. But not one where we are encouraged to commit violent acts. One where we ourselves are scared and frightened by what we see.

How Mean World Syndrome Is Cultivated in Our Society

According to Gerbner, the problem lies in how this violence is portrayed on TV and in the media. It intersperses with banal content. For example, one minute, we are watching an advert for bleach or nappies, and the next, we see a news item that someone’s daughter has been abducted, raped, and dismembered.
We switch from one shocking news story to comedies, from a graphic horror film to a cute animal cartoon. And it is this constant switching between the two that normalises the violence we see. And when mass media normalises something as awful as a child abduction we don’t feel safe anymore.
We assume that this is the world we live in now. It’s that old news saying: “If it bleeds, it leads.” News channels focus on the most violent crimes, movies find new ways to shock us, even local news prefer gore and horror to cute stories about rescue puppies.

Violence Is Normal

Gerbner realised that it was the normalisation of violence, he called it ‘happy violence’ that cultivates a fearful society. In fact, there is a direct correlation between the amount of TV a person watches and their level of fear.
Mass media saturates us with graphic images, horrific stories, and frightening storylines. News channels remind us about the ‘War on Terror’, or the consequences of the coronavirus, all while glaring mugshots of offenders pierce through our collective consciousness.
It’s not surprising we are afraid to go outside our own homes. This cultivated fear shapes us into victimhood.

TV and Media Are the New Storytellers

Yet, you could say that we come across violence in fairy tales as children, or in Shakespeare’s play as teenagers. That we need to acknowledge violence as part of what’s good and bad about society. However, we are told fairy tales by a parent who provides context or comfort should we become upset. Shakespeare plays often have a moral story or ending which is discussed in class.
There is no parent or teacher advising us when we view violence portrayed in mass media. Moreover, this violence is often sensationalised, it’s delivered in a spectacular way. It’s often portrayed as humorous or sexy. As a result, we become indoctrinated with this constant flow saturation.

We Are Born into Viewing Violence

psychotic female killer
Gerbner stated that we are born into this saturation. There is no before or after viewing violence, we grow up with it, and from a very early age. In fact, children view around 8,000 murders by the age of 8 years old, and around 200,000 violent acts by the time they are 18.
All this violence adds up to a pervasive narrative we believe to be true. Each TV programme, every news story, all those films add up to a seamless and continuous dialogue. One that tells us the world is a scary, frightening, and violent place to live in.
The reality, however, is much different. According to the Justice Dept., murder rates are down 5% and violent crime is at an all-time low, having dropped 43%. Despite this, coverage of murders increased by 300%.
“Fearful people are more dependent, more easily manipulated and controlled, more susceptible to deceptively simple, strong, tough measures and hard-line measures…” Gerbner

How to Fight Mean World Syndrome?

There are lots of ways you can control how you feel about the society you inhabit.
  • Limit the amount of TV and media you view.
  • Alternate between different types of programmes, e.g. comedy and sport.
  • Remember, the majority version of violence presented by the media is a small minority of real life.
  • Use different kinds of media to access information, i.e. books, journals.
  • Get the facts from reliable sources so you don’t over-estimate the amount of violence in the world.
  • Ask yourself, who benefits from perpetuating the myth of mass fear?

Final Thoughts

It’s easy to see how we can become enveloped in Mean World Syndrome. Every day we are bombarded with the most gruesome facts and images. These present a distorted view of the world.
The problem is if we only see the world through fear-tinted glasses, solutions to our problems will be based solely around this fear. And we could end up imprisoning ourselves for no good reason.
References:
  1. www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
  2. www.theatlantic.com
  3. www.apa.org

 

 
Janey Davies
 

 
 
About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 




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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 18:09
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Sexta-feira, 22 de Maio de 2020

Worry Time: How to Schedule Your Anxieties

 

Worry Time: How to Schedule Your Anxieties 

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted May 22nd, 2020.

 
 
 
There’s a new way of dealing with anxiety. It’s a unique process called “worry time”, which schedules a time for your obsessive concerns.
For those who suffer from anxiety, worrying seems like a normal part of life. On a personal level, I worry way too much during the day, then keep myself up at night doing the same thing. I feel like I’m not in control of this worry.
Many of you may feel the same way, especially when an additional crisis is added to the mix. But here’s some good news: you can schedule worry time and this allows you to address your concerns, and then move on to other things the rest of the time.

What Is Worry Time?

Worry time is a cognitive-behavioral concept which actually helps you control your obsessive thoughts. It’s a paradox. You will purposely decide to worry at a specific time of the day. Why? Well, since you’re stressing all the time and wasting so much of your life with concerns, you can at least practice compartmentalizing that worry. You can do something else for the rest of the time.
For instance, take time to worry, then have productive thoughts the remainder of the day. So, since this is a schedule to worry, there have to be steps to follow in order to do it correctly, right? Let’s take a look.

How to Schedule Time to Worry

Halt your obsessive thoughts for a moment and listen up. Worrying is not so bad when it’s controlled. Although you assume you cannot control it, worry after consistent training can indeed be trained. Here are the steps you use for worry time:

1. Schedule the time

The first thing you must do is decide what times of the day you should worry. Yes, I know that sounds kind of silly, but cognitive-behavior therapy would disagree with you.
So, use a calendar, planner, or notepad and write down the time of day you wish to schedule a time for obsessive thoughts. A session of between 15 and 30 minutes is ideal for worry time. After that, you can go about your positive daily routines. And by the way, it’s advised that you do not schedule this right before bedtime. It’s more than likely to keep you from sleeping well.

2. Write things down

During your scheduled time to worry, make sure you write down your thoughts. You don’t have to find a solution in this 15-30-minute window, but if you do, then that is fine too. The objective is just to get your thoughts onto paper, so you can see exactly what’s troubling you, instead of just obsessing.
There is therapeutic power in taking thought and turning it into written information. You take it from you and put it somewhere else, and at the same time, you see all the truth in the thoughts as well.

3. Keep worries inside worry time

If you start to worry about things outside your designated worry time, then stop immediately. You must remind yourself that worry can only happen during its scheduled time. This will not be easy, and it will take some time to remember. Consistently catching your worries and putting them back into those neat little slots of your day will help you gain control.
Also, when worry time comes, please don’t dwell about all the times you worried outside of worry time. It’s counterproductive and just silly.

4. End of the week reflections

At the end of each week, go back and read the things you wrote during your scheduled worry time. Are there any patterns? What are the things you ponder about the most? Go ahead and ask yourself any questions you want in order to understand more about your concerns. And yes, you should also schedule the “end of the week reflection on your worries” just like you did with the worry time in each day.
Your reflections are healthy, but take care and don’t dwell on repetitive problems and feel defeated. Just keep moving forward with the same schedule as before.

5. Make it long term

After a week or so of this practice, you may want to just continue. In fact, I recommend this. If you practice this routine for the long term, you will strengthen your thoughts, make it easier to control your worries, and also learn more about structure and focus. So, just keep going and see where it leads you.

Worry isn’t all bad

It’s not horrible to be concerned about things in life. Right now, I am concerned about our world and the nation in which I live. Every day, I check the headlines to see if things have improved, but sadly, it seems to get worse day by day. With scheduling worry time, I can allow myself to deconstruct these headlines and keep them from taking over my entire day with stress and anxiety.
You’re not alone. I have anxiety and many others do as well. But the fact is, you don’t need to have anxiety to practice worry time. You can schedule even the smallest amount of time for concerns each day. Whether large or small, your worries can be set aside for examination. I coax you to try this technique.
Let me know how it works for you!
References:
  1. https://www.livescience.com
  2. https://www.helpguide.org

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 20:21
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Quinta-feira, 21 de Maio de 2020

6 Signs of a Spiritual Crisis or Emergency: Are You Experiencing It?

6 Signs of a Spiritual Crisis or Emergency: Are You Experiencing It?

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

May 21st, 2020

 

Almost any experience can contribute to spiritual awakening. Observing nature might kickstart thoughts of the expansive universe, for example. The kindness, or harshness, in others might bring about thoughts of our purpose on this Earth. These are common and healthy steps we take on a journey to spiritual awakening. This tends to progress slowly and with a sense of calm about it. Sometimes, however, this awakening comes on suddenly and becomes all-consuming. This is called a Spiritual Crisis, or Spiritual Emergency.
A spiritual crisis is a period of rapid transformation often brought on by a particular trigger or trauma. During this time, you might feel like you’re “going crazy” or “falling apart” because your sense of reality shifts entirely.
It is an intense and life-altering experience that will ultimately lead to a total spiritual awakening and enlightenment.

What Is a Spiritual Crisis?

A spiritual crisis is a form of an identity crisis. This sudden change in perception is typically triggered by a spiritual experience. This could be a near-death experience, a paranormal encounter, or a sudden epiphany. It is also possible for this state of spiritual emergency to be brought on overtime, usually due to on-going trauma. When the experience becomes too much, a spiritual crisis could be triggered.
The term was first introduced by husband and wife team Christina Grof, a psychotherapist, and her husband Stanislav Grof, a psychiatrist, in 1989. Spiritual Emergencies come under the umbrella of Transpersonal Psychology and have been fascinating psychologists for years.
A spiritual crisis tends to be defined by a total loss of belief in, or connection to, previously held values and ideas. A person in the midst of a spiritual crisis may no longer understand the beliefs they used to hold or no longer feel they mean anything of value.
Often, spiritual emergencies can be incorrectly diagnosed as a nervous breakdown as they both feature a loosening of the grip on reality.

6 Signs of a Spiritual Crisis or Emergency

1. Spiritual Experiences

Whether these experiences can be proven or not, many people going through a spiritual emergency report having spiritual experiences. Spiritual experiences come in many forms and are different for everyone.
Some people have seen spirits, others report visions and hearing voices. During a Spiritual Crisis, it’s thought that the lines that separate the spiritual and material worlds become blurred for that person. This can lead to a heightened ability to sense energies and have stronger abilities as an empath.
These experiences can be understandably unsettling for anyone going through a spiritual crisis. Even more unnerving is that some of the spiritual experiences you might have may have relevance to past trauma and repressed memories.

2. Your Senses Are in Flux

A spiritual emergency is all-consuming and it may feel as though your senses are being overwhelmed. You might become extremely sensitive to all kinds of stimuli, including emotional ones. Light can feel too bright and noises could be too loud. Your sense of taste and smell might even be affected, resulting in new likes and dislikes.
Your whole body could be affected during a spiritual crisis, causing odd bodily sensations like hot and cold flashes, shaking, and tingling. Transpersonal psychologists believe this is energy flowing throughout the body as you begin to awaken.
On the other hand, it is possible for your senses to become weaker during a spiritual crisis. You may take in much less than you normally would. It may result in you feeling disconnected from the rest of the world. This might feel like dissociation or brain fog.

3. Impaired Thinking

When your mind becomes completely clouded, it can become difficult to process thoughts. You might have too many thoughts running through your brain, making it hard to address any of them at all. Your mind could also feel completely empty as if there are so many thoughts that you can’t find any of them.
During a spiritual crisis, time and physical space might seem distorted. Recent events might feel years ago, and long-lost memories might feel as if they’ve just happened.
Your decision-making abilities will likely be impaired too. The overwhelming nature of your thoughts can make the smallest decision feel like the most important moment. Similarly, it can be difficult to remember things when your brain is already overflowing with thoughts and information.
When your thinking is impaired during a spiritual emergency, daily life can start to feel scary. Feeling unable to process what’s going on around you can be unnerving and disorienting.

4. Loss of a Sense of Self

When a spiritual emergency takes over your mind, your sense of self goes out of the window. As your awakening begins and you start to transform into someone new, your connection to your previous self fades. This is not always a bad thing. A shift in identity might be exactly what you need.
During a spiritual crisis, a person might quit their job now they feel it no longer serves them. They might also move away, hoping to start fresh somewhere that suits their needs better. There may be negative side-effects to this loss of identity.
Some people might feel they now have no idea what the future holds or what their purpose in life is. You might also reconsider your dreams and desires, meaning you no longer know what you want from life. A life without goals and purpose can feel impossible to navigate.

5. Loss of Inhibitions

When your sense of reality falls away, the need for rules and order falls away with it. If you no longer feel life serves a purpose, why bother behaving? People experiencing a spiritual crisis might start behaving recklessly, doing dangerous activities, or things that would have previously gone against their morals.
This tends to simply be a way of expressing themselves when the world feels confusing to them or a way of finding meaning in a life they no longer understand.

6. Withdrawal from Life

A person going through a spiritual emergency is likely to be overwhelmed with concern and confusion. The sudden change in perception of the world is difficult to process and typically wants to be done alone.
It can be difficult to explain what you’re experiencing in this time, for fear of judgment or a simple lack of words. It often feels like the easiest way to handle this is to withdraw from the life you once lived, including old friends and family.
On the other hand, a spiritual crisis leading to an awakening might inspire some to intentionally withdraw from their old life in order to achieve a new, fresher life.
A spiritual emergency might feel frightening, but it is a worthwhile time of transformation. If you’re experiencing it, hang in there. You can consult with many transpersonal psychologists if you need, or just confide in friends. As you ride the waves of this spiritual crisis, you might find it leads you to a more open, fulfilling, and beautiful space than ever before.
References:
  1. https://en.wikipedia.org
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com
 
 
 
 

 

Becky Storey
 

 




 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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Sexta-feira, 15 de Maio de 2020

How the Law of Reciprocity Works and Practical Ways to Use It

How the Law of Reciprocity Works and Practical Ways to Use It

Jamie Logie, B. Sc.

learning-mind.com

May 15th, 2020 .

 

 

The law of reciprocity is all about an action being rewarded with another action in return. But how does this all work exactly, and how do you best use it to benefit your life and the lives of others?
This law is all about spreading to good between us all, and it’s something that more people need to practice. This article will look at how the law of reciprocity works, and some practical ways that you can use it.

What Is the Law of Reciprocity?

The simplest way to look at the law of reciprocity is that you should do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The problem is, this sometimes can take on an ugly form with people only making gestures to get something in return.
This is often used by salespeople who generally have no interest in your betterment and are only out for themselves. They will often give out something for free so the other person feels an obligation to return the favor, which is based around buying a specific product.
We want to ignore this particular aspect that is more about persuasion than it is reciprocity. Instead, we want to focus on reciprocity to spread more joy, support, and caring among one another. This is a law that will usually trigger a positive reaction in another person. When you do even the simplest, kindest gesture, it generally triggers the desire in the person to act similarly.
Reciprocity is about the sense of obligation to return the favor. That may sound like a burden, but we are talking about small, intimate gestures that go a long way in helping us all feel better about ourselves. The act of giving goes a long way in instilling a positive impression in the mind of the other person. And that’s what this is all about; creating as many positive experiences as we possibly can.

What Are Some Ways We Use the Law of Reciprocity Every Day?

You are probably using this law every day, and not even realizing it. A basic example is the idea of a simple smile. When we smile at someone, the other person will usually smile back. Your action is you giving the smile, and the reaction is them returning the smile to you. This is one of the most practical, simple, but still effective ways to practice the law of reciprocity.
We do not understand what other people are going through, and even though they walk around carrying a brave face, they could be suffering on the inside. It’s incredibly powerful what the simple act of a smile can do to another human being and – even for just a moment – it will lift their spirits. That act is returned to you, also causing you a boost in endorphins and a sense of happiness.
This is, of course, the most basic example of this law – but you can see how powerful it really is. Now, you want to continue to put this law into practice as much as possible. What are some other practical ways to use the law of reciprocity?

1. Creating a More Harmonious Home Environment

If things are a bit chaotic in your home, it may seem easier to blow your top than to deal with disastrous situations. Say that you come from work only to discover a mess all around the house. You’re trying to remain calm, but then one of your kids comes running through and knocks a dish off the table, causing it to break. Your child is in near hysterics, and this could end in a total breakdown for everyone, or you could use the law of reciprocity.
It’s not always easy, but in this situation, it would involve not losing your temper and instead, comforting and hugging your child. This would not be the reaction they were expecting while also expecting to be forced to clean it up. Tell your child to go and do something else while you clean it up. It’s not unlikely to find a child resorting to a more peaceful and apologetic situation as they’ve seen the gentle approach you’ve taken and are responding in kind.
By yelling and punishing, you would probably get a similar response. By taking a gentler approach, you allow for inner peace to be created instead of a harsh situation. This is not the easiest thing, but if we do this on a daily level, you will get more positive reactions instead of strife, fear, and anguish.

2. Repay Things as Soon as You Can

This isn’t specifically related to money, but it still applies. One of the most practical ways you can use reciprocity is by returning favors and gestures as soon as you can – even if it’s something small. When you don’t, people can often think you are taking advantage, and that’s the opposite intentions we should go for.
With close friends and family, you may have a little more leeway in the length of time you take to pay someone back because there is a closer intimacy. With people like coworkers or associates, you’ll want to repay them as soon as possible for the reciprocity to work its best.

3. Helping Out A Stranger

We’ve discussed reciprocity with people we are in close contact with, but what does this look like in the outside world with people you don’t know? It’s all about creating the best environment you can in whatever situation you find yourself in. And this can be as simple as holding a door open for a stranger. If it’s an entrance with more than one door, you can be pretty certain they will make sure to hold the next door open for you.
Again, these are small gestures, but reciprocity working like this creates a better sense of community and connection between the people living in it.

Final Thoughts

We all want to live in the most supportive and encouraging society possible. This isn’t always going to be possible, but by practicing the law of reciprocity, we can create the closest semblance to an ideal living situation.
Reciprocity all comes down to being the change you wish to see in the world. If you want joy, kindness, and compassion, it starts with giving it to others. When you do this, you allow it to find its way back to you.
References:
  1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/
 

About the Author: Jamie Logie, B.Sc.

Jamie Logie is a certified personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. He holds a bachelor of science (B.Sc.) degree in Kinesiology from the University of Western Ontario, studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 22:14
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Segunda-feira, 4 de Maio de 2020

Just-World Hypothesis and Examples of How It Fools You.

 

Just-World Hypothesis and Examples of How It Fools You.

Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)

https://www.learning-mind.com

May 4th, 2020.

 
 
 

 
Do you think that life is fair and that generally speaking, people get what they deserve? If so, you may have fallen victim to the Just-World Hypothesis.

What Is the Just-World Hypothesis?

The just-world hypothesis is a tendency to believe that the world is a just place and that we all end up with what we deserve. It theorises that because we think the world is a just place, we look for reasons to explain away injustice.
This effort on our part to rationalise injustice in this way often leads to us blaming the victims of injustice. We do this even when the victim could not have any control over their own misfortune. This automatic tendency of ours to blame the victim makes us question the victim’s behaviour, instead of looking at the circumstances befalling them.
It is easy to see how some people could fall into this trap of a mental bias. It fits in with our memories of childhood. As children, we were always told ‘work hard and you’ll achieve successes’, ‘eat all your greens and you’ll grow up big and strong’. We believe our fate to be in our own hands. But not only that, but we also believe that good things come to those who are good. Consequently, bad things happen to bad people. It fits in nicely with our narrative of the world.
So we automatically assume that good people have earned their success. They deserve their good luck. We label good people with other good attributes such as hard-working, honest, and intelligent. On the other hand, bad people will get what they deserve. After all, you get out of life what you put in. We label these bad people as lazy, stupid, and dishonest.

Examples of Just-World Hypothesis

We blame women for their own sexual assaults because of what they were wearing at the time of the attack, where they were at the time of the attack, or their previous sexual behaviour is called into question.
We look at homeless people and think to ourselves ‘that would never happen to me’, they must have done something to get to this situation. Not realising that the majority of us are just 3 pay months away from becoming homeless ourselves. Addicts are blamed for their addictions without us knowing the full background of the individual. And despite us knowing that addiction is a disease, not a choice.
We view poor people as lazy and without ambition. They are deemed to have just as many chances to succeed in life but they chose not to study. We don’t even think about how money affects families and that many poorer children don’t have the opportunity to go to university because they are helping with household bills.

Where Does the Just-World Hypothesis Come from?

Melvin Lerner is a social psychologist and coined the term Just-World Theory or Hypothesis. He took the research of Stanley Milgram one step further. You’ll remember that Milgram conducted the now infamous ‘Obedience to Authority’ study. Lerner wanted to find out how people came to agree with cruel regimes that promoted suffering, and why they were willing to accept laws and norms in society that lead to a miserable outcome for many.
Lerner expanded Milgram’s’ experiments. In his study, he gave a woman electrical shocks for making mistakes on a memory task. The woman was his accomplice and no actual shocks were administered. However, two groups watched the woman. Some groups could help the woman whereas others could not.
Lerner found consistently that the group who could do something to alleviate the woman’s suffering were much more sympathetic to her ordeal. The group that could only watch had a far lower opinion of the woman.
“The sight of an innocent person suffering without the possibility of reward or compensation motivated people to devalue the attractiveness of the victim in order to bring about a more appropriate fit between her fate and her character.” Lerner et al.

Why Do We Believe in a Just World?

We have control over our lives

No one likes to hear about suffering around the world, or indeed in our own neighbourhood. So when we do come across something disturbing, it is easier to blame the victim for their fate. That way, we have control over what happens to us. We are not vulnerable in the same way that the victims are.
For example:
  • Walk through the park late at night and you’ll be assaulted.
  • Buy a house in that area and you’ll be flooded.
  • Wear that short shirt out and you’re asking to be raped.

It makes us feel safe

When there’s nothing we can do about a situation, we try and rationalise in our heads so it makes sense. In other words ‘There’s no such thing as an innocent victim’. By doing this, we reduce any anxiety we may have felt. We feel secure again because once we know that those victims ‘deserved’ what was coming to them we don’t need to feel fearful anymore.
After all, only bad things happen to bad people, right? And we are nothing like these bad people, so we are going to be ok. Moreover, we need the world to be a just and safe place. Because the alternative is just too scary for us to comprehend.
When we feel powerless to do something about a wrong, we turn to the next best thing and blame the victim. We want to think that things happen for a reason. It gives us a sense of control over the world.

Final Thoughts

We need to understand that life isn’t fair. However, this unfairness is foisted upon us for no apparent reason. It matters not whether you’re a good or bad person. There is no rhyme or reason for why bad things happen, but it does happen to all of us.
Unfortunately, there’s only so much you can do to avoid the unfair nature of life. But at least, we’re all in it together.
References:
  1. www.verywellmind.com
  2. www.theguardian.com

Janey Davies



About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

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Tree-Hugging Encouraged in Iceland as a Way to Cope with Isolation

Tree-Hugging Encouraged in Iceland as a Way to Cope with Isolation

Lottie Miles, M.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted May 4th, 2020.

 
.Tree Hugging

 


The citizens of Iceland have been encouraged by the forestry service to hug trees every day for five at least minutes. This is being encouraged to help people cope with social isolation, but does it really work? In this post, we will look at research showing the surprising benefits of hugging trees and explore why tree-hugging really can make you feel better.

Why is tree-hugging recommended in Iceland?

In response to the challenges of social isolation and social distancing due to COVID-19, Iceland’s Forestry Service has encouraged tree-hugging. Physical contact with others has been discouraged whether we are socially distancing or socially isolating. However, this prolonged physical separation can be psychologically challenging. The lack of hugs and physical touch can intensify feelings of separation, isolation, and loneliness. Iceland’s response? Hug trees!
Icelanders are being recommended to hug a tree for at least 5 minutes. The experience of hugging a tree has been described as a visceral feeling. As you hug the tree, a sensation travels through your toes and up through your body all the way up to your head. Rangers from the Hallormsstaður National Forest have cleared snow and marked out 2-meter spaces to help.

The psychological benefits of connection to nature

Humans are intimately connected to nature. This is an idea that has persisted across cultures and throughout the history of time. This is reflected by the idea that we all tend to prefer countryside views to urban ones. Similarly, 100s of studies have found that experiencing nature has a positive effect on our physical and mental wellbeing. Other studies also show that people with pets tend to be happier.
Nature and images of nature often inspire feelings of awe. Piff et. al.’s study found that this sense of awe changes our sense of self and reduces barriers we feel between ourselves and others. The positive emotions we get from nature have also been shown to foster altruistic behavior even when briefly experienced. On the other side, Louv’s “Last Child in the Woods” study hypothesizes that depression and anxiety are fuelled by a disconnect with nature they term a “nature-deficit disorder”.
Other studies have shown the numerous and wide-ranging benefits of a connection to nature. For example:

What are the benefits of tree-hugging?

As we have outlined, getting out into nature, being surrounded by it, or simply viewing it can have psychological and physical benefits. Getting up close and personal only serves to accentuate these effects. This has long been known in Japan, where the national health program has offered forest bathing since 1982.
Known as shinrin-yokuforest bathing has been found to reduce blood pressure, improve memory and concentration, and lower cortisol levels. Rather than simply strolling through a forest, it involves shedding all devices and mindfully spending time under the tree’s canopies. Typically, this would last at least 3 hours. However, the close contact of hugging a tree for 5 minutes makes mindful practice somewhat easier.
Breathe in the smells, feel the way the tree presses against you, feel its energy, and listen to the sounds. Some studies have suggested that forest bathing and tree-hugging might even work because of chemicals the tree emits. Known as phytoncides, these chemicals may have physiological effects that explain why hugging trees and immersing yourself in nature can be beneficial for your health.

How can you benefit from hugging trees and immersing in nature?

walking in nature
There are numerous ways you can seek to benefit from increased engagement with nature, whether that involves hugging trees or not. Here, we outline some of the different ways you can increase your connectedness to nature from the small to the big:
  1. Watch nature programs (truly, this works!).
  2. Surround yourself with plants (at work and at home).
  3. Choose routes with more trees and green spaces, not just the quickest.
  4. Get up early for the birds’ dawn chorus (be sure to be in place before the start of sunrise).
  5. Grow your own flowers and/or food to feel that connectedness with nature.
  6. Plant a tree (or more than one).
  7. Sit under a tree and practice mindfulness.
  8. Go the whole hog and give that tree a big old cuddle! Do this daily, once or more. Close your eyes and really feel at one with nature.
During the time of social distancing, we should be careful to avoid emotional distancing. Fortunately, Iceland’s forestry service might just have cracked how we can all feel more connected.
More and more studies reveal the benefits of feeling connected with nature, and tree-hugging is just one example. Simply seeing it more can improve our wellbeing, both physically and psychologically. However, when we get up close and hug a tree, the benefits can be even greater. Give it a go and see what it can do!


 

 

Lottie Miles

 




 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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Domingo, 3 de Maio de 2020

Emotional Numbness: Causes, Symptoms and Ways to Cope

 

Emotional Numbness: 

Causes, Symptoms and Ways to Cope

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted May 3rd, 2020.

 
 
 
There is something that can be worse than feeling furious or hopeless. Emotional numbness can evolve from various issues and cause serious damage.
You’re not alone if you can’t cry at a funeral. You’re also not a freak if you can’t laugh or smile on happy occasions. There is something else going on within you when experiencing the inability to feel. This is emotional numbness, and it has many recognizable symptoms. There are reasons why you cannot feel and there are also ways to heal this problem.

The Meaning of Emotional Numbness and Dissociation Explained

First of all, what is emotional numbness? It is a condition brought upon by years of building emotional blockades toward others and denying ourselves the right to feel.
Simply stated, emotional numbness is a result of dissociation. They are not one and the same – dissociation is a condition, while the state of being emotionally numb is what happens due to the condition.
When you disassociate yourself from emotion, you separate yourself from the situation attached to the emotion. For instance, when someone dies, if you are emotionally numb, you may not be able to cry. This doesn’t mean you are heartless. It simply means, well, it means many things. Let’s read on.

What Are the Symptoms of Emotional Numbness?

1. Feeling distant

One sign that you might be experiencing emotional numbness is the detachment of your mind from certain situations. Sometimes, you feel like you’re in your own body, while at other times, you may feel like you’re floating above it, looking at yourself. It’s not necessarily as an OBE (out of body experience), but more like watching a film of yourself. Something is wrong if you’re constantly viewing things from outside yourself.

2. Lack of participation

You watch others doing things, but you just cannot seem to join in. As far as your own hobbies or interests, you leave them behind as well. There’s just no desire for past hobbies or interests. Where others are concerned, you either want to watch instead of joining in, or you simply don’t want to be around to do anything. It just doesn’t matter to you.

3. Living a “flat” existence

It’s kind of hard to explain the “flat” existence, but it’s living a life of going through the everyday motions. When you’ve started to live a flat life, you just do the exact same thing from day to day, moment to moment. It’s neither negative or positive, it’s just motion.

4. In-ability for love or hate

What’s worse than being extremely angry at someone? That would be not caring one way or the other about anyone or anything. When you feel numb emotionally, you can’t feel love or hate.

5. You are empty inside

Some people become so numb, they turn into an emotional fog, a smoke that just dissipates into nothing. Unfortunately, having no feelings gets so deep that a hole erodes into your core. But even at this level, emotional numbness can be turned around. It starts with finding the cause. Which leads us to our next thoughts. What happened?

What Are the Causes of Emotional Numbness?

causes of emotional numbness
There’s not just one thing that steals away our feelings. No, there are many reasons this happens. That is why it can be difficult to pinpoint roots and help individuals cultivate normal emotions. I go through emotional numbness at times, but I don’t stay there inevitably. My numbness usually stems from deep roots in childhood. Unfortunately, it’s a numbness that I still often fall right back into with certain triggers. It happens to many of us. Delving into this problem, there are reasons.

1. Childhood trauma

The most common reason why people experience emotional numbness is childhood trauma. These events can be one or more of the basic abuses experienced while growing up. For example, if you were sexually abused, you might grow up to dissociate automatically during normal intimate situations. You can be a married woman with a fairly healthy intimate life, and yet, you can still separate yourself from your mate emotionally at times.
Physical, verbal, mental, and definitely emotional abuse can also lead to emotional deficits like numbness. It just depends on how you respond to treatments, or whether you received any treatments in the past. Some people never even tell anyone else about going through these things. What’s worse – some people cannot even remember due to a sort of dissociation that developed during the time of the abuse.

2. Substance use

Substance abuse has a category all its own. This is because substances such as drugs, alcohol, or other things can greatly alter the mind in a whole different way. With other types of abuse, the mistreatment generally comes from outer influences, but with substance abuse, after any initial outside influence, the abuse continues as self-inflicted harm.
It’s called addiction, and these addictions, usually drawn from some initial starting point, can bring about numb sensations. Sometimes, as with drugs, these substances can cause immediate emotional numbness because of chemical content. The same can be said for alcohol. Think about it this way, alcohol greatly numbs the skin, often keeping you from feeling the extent of certain pains or injuries. It can do the same to your mind. As with other addictions that don’t seem to fit into any neat category, emotional numbness can come from the inability to “kick the habit”.

3. Mental illness such as anxiety or depression

This cause of emotional numbness can come from childhood trauma, genetics, domestic violence, adult trauma, or any other thing that alters the mind and emotions forcibly. You can be born with the pre-determined destiny to inherit depression. Anxiety can come from domestic violence. PTSD can come from wartime trauma and any other event or part of your life that sparks fear. From mental illness such as anxiety or depression, you can experience symptoms and one of these symptoms happens to be emotional numbness.
Take panic attacks for instance. When I experience these attacks, I have trouble breathing, my heart rate increases, and then I experience all sorts of random abnormalities in my behavior. Sometimes, I just become numb. My skin will either itch, or I won’t be able to feel a thing. The worst part is for many hours afterward, I will become emotionally numb. I can’t laugh, I can’t smile and I feel like a brittle piece of paper floating through the air. Individuals with mental illness do experience emotionally numb symptoms, and they go through this in various ways – more ways than I can explain in an hour’s time.

4. Medications

Certain medications can also alter the way you think and even the way you feel. In fact, one of my medications does take away the severity of my emotions. If I take more or less, the amount of lost emotions differs. This just makes sense. Some of these medications are used for anxiety, while some are administered for manic states of bipolar disorder.
There are also medications given for physical problems, and the side effects don’t only cause headaches and nausea and such, but can also cause emotional numbness as well. When I take any sort of narcotic pain reliever, I seem to lose a small bit of emotion. Yes, these medications do cause an altered state of mind, but they can sometimes temporarily take away the ability to feel joy or anger.

5. Loss of a loved one

You can also experience the lack of feeling when someone close to you dies, especially when it’s a mother, father, or sibling. When a mate dies, it can be even harder. Learning to live without someone close to you that spent years, even decades of their life in your company can have a devastating effect. It can be so horrible that you forget how to feel grief, love, or even anger. Losing a loved one can cause many different feelings, and this includes the inability to have any feelings at all. I’ve been through this too, on more than one occasion. I’ve also witnessed one dying relative live with denial of their own impending death. This was especially hard to watch.

How to Overcome Emotional Numbness?

How to overcome emotional numbness
To be quite honest, some people just train themselves to avoid difficult emotions. This provides a little insight into how to treat the problem. You can do things both professionally and as maintenance measures to help you embrace your emotions. Many will tell you to try professional help first, so we can start with that.

Treatment Options:

1. Acceptance and Commitment therapy

This type of therapy is useful for those who suffer from PTSD and many mental health problems. ACT helps you recognize when you’re avoiding feelings due to experiences. When recognized, this therapy can help you understand how it’s good to feel both the negative and positive emotions that come with life.

2. Psychotherapy

This type of therapy basically finds the root of your problem. It recognizes that your lack of emotions is not natural, of course, and they must have a point of origin. Psychotherapy also coaxes feelings to the surface, even negative ones, so that the patient can learn how to process them in a healthy manner.

3. Cognitive Behavioral therapy

Not only does CBT help you bring forth your feelings, but it also helps you learn how to properly deal with them instead of using emotional numbness as a defensive mechanism to push them down again. Cognitive-behavioral therapy addresses your unhealthy coping skills and helps you turn them into powerful and positive solutions.

How to Maintain Good Emotional Health to Avoid Feeling Numb?

You can also deal with emotional numbness on your own as well. There are a few ways that your feelings can be pulled to the surface by consistent physical and mental maintenance. Or rather, you can use lifestyle modifications that cause emotions to even surface naturally.

1. Cut out stress

Stress can be a huge contributor to emotional numbness. It can literally suck the emotions right out of you for a long time. So eliminating this stress as much as possible is one answer. Some stressors will be difficult than others to eliminate, but you must cut something negative loose in order to feel again.
There are many ways stress sneaks in, as well, and one of the most common sources is the unhealthy relationship. Getting relationship counseling is one way to help, ending the relationship is another. I can’t tell you which is better, but you will begin to understand the route to take. The same goes for jobs, friends, and toxic family members as well. Deal with it, or get away from it. It’s necessary.

2. Get plenty of rest

The lack of sleep due to things like certain medications, stress, mental health symptoms like anxiety, and others can gradually rob you of your basic positive emotions. Regulating your sleep patterns can help you gain back a healthy sense of being. In order to regulate those sleeping patterns, however, you have to deal with whatever is causing you to lose sleep and making you feel fatigued.
You already know you have to eliminate stress, but maybe you need to speak with your doctor about changing medications. Maybe you need to speak to your therapist about your mental health symptoms. Of course, this is where professional therapy comes in. Whatever you need to do, get your sleep patterns back in order.

3. Keep a healthy support system

You will always need a group of friends and family that will allow you to feel free. Sometimes, you unknowingly teach yourself to hide your emotions to avoid fights or confrontations. Having a good support system that allows you to show your anger and work out frustrations is a huge key to healing from emotional numbness. Make sure you pick the right group of people or even one really good friend. These are the ones who will let you be yourself, which is an integral part of this healing.

4. Use creativity

If you cannot express your emotions through speaking, then maybe you can be creative. Painters are notorious for expressing repressed feelings in oil and acrylics. In the past, some individuals weren’t allowed to express themselves due to laws. But painters could make beautiful works of art that some didn’t understand. Only the painter could reveal their true intention and emotion behind the work, and they could reveal it to whomever they felt would keep them safe. You can also express emotions this way, and if you feel numb, pushing that paintbrush or tapping those keys will help open you up.

5. Meditation

Did you know that meditation and mindfulness can solve many of your problems? I think they can solve almost all of them, including the horror of emotional numbness. Focus, centering, being in the present, aromatherapy, and prayer can all coax out what’s thought to be dead space from within you. Enlightenment can marry you with your true emotions and help you control them as well.

Emotional Numbness, Go Away!

At one time or the other, I think we’ve all experienced this numb state. Whether it was from trauma or isolation, most of us learned how to resurface from the depths of this hole. You may fear the grips of emotional lack right now, and you may be stuck in the hopelessness of succumbing to this demon. But before you slip under the waves, take my hand. I’ve been there, I go there still sometimes, and it’s not without hope. If you suffer from emotional numbness, please take a second look at some of the symptoms, causes, and solutions, so you too can learn to feel emotions in a healthy manner.
I look forward to your comments and suggestions. Thank you.



Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.


 


Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 14:22
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Terça-feira, 21 de Abril de 2020

How to Create Safety Signals to Cope with Anxiety.

 

How to Create Safety Signals to Cope with Anxiety.

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted April 21st, 2020.

 
 
 

 

There are many ways of coping with anxiety. But there’s one we may not notice. Safety signals can be quite an effective tool for dealing with anxiety.
As a child, I had many safety signals. When trouble was coming, I ran to retrieve them and I held them tight. But until now, I never really understood their significance in treating anxiety. This is mainly due to the fact that I was a child. It was seen as normal for me to latch onto objects and become obsessed with them.

Discovering your safety signals

The human race goes through negative experiences all the time. You hear about it on the news and on the internet. Then you have those who experience trauma that causes damage later in life through conditions such as anxiety, PTSD and other mental health conditions.
So, there are “normal bumps in the road” or present trauma and then you have mental trauma scars from the past, which affect people differently. However, both can leave you with triggers.
There are differences in the ones who cope quickly and move on, and the ones who are gripped by fear that comes from unresolved triggers. But no one should ever be ashamed of this difference.
We have cognitive behavior treatments and medications, but this usually only helps about half of those who suffer from mental health-related fears. Now, we’re discovering what’s called safety signals, that which seems to work especially well for many who struggle with fears and unwarranted fears.

Therapy, medication and safety tools

The introduction of the safety signal offers a tool that actually comes from an entirely different area of the brain than where cognitive therapy operates.
With cognitive therapy, the patient who suffers from anxiety or phobia about certain objects is slowly presented with the object in order to help them grow the courage to deal with the triggers. Over time, anxious people spend more and more time with the object or even the situation they fear, and these half really progress.
But our topic is about safety signals, and how this can help the other half and maybe even those who’ve initially tried cognitive therapy.
Going back to my childhood, I remember certain stuffed animals that made me feel comforted. I remember how they took away my fears sometimes during abusive situations. Do you know what that stuffed animal represented? That’s right, it was my safety signal, a positive stimulus that was bigger than my negative object or situation.
There are other things that are considered safety signals as well. I can touch upon these for a bit to help you understand.

What can be a safety signal?

1. A shape

The first safety signal was used in case studies. The subjects of these studies were asked to associate one shape with a negative feeling, and another shape with a positive one. The negative feelings represented a threat, while positive shapes were non-threatening.
When test subjects were alone with the threatening shape, they became anxious, but when the non-threatening shape was introduced, they seemed to calm down. Thus, you have the beginnings of a new way of healing.

2. A sentimental object

The first safety signal was a shape, used to prove a point about another way of coping with anxiety. But to get a little more specific, we need to look at common comforting things so you can understand what a signal of safety can be. One of those signals can come from sentimental objects.
When you’re afraid and anxiety has exacerbated that fear, you can look at a picture of a lost loved one who used to comfort you. You can hold an object that has a lovable meaning to you as well. You may read old letters, use cups that a loved one gave you, or even sit in your car if it has sentimental value for some reason.
Sentimental objects have few limits considering many things are gifted by special people in your life. This signal is not meant to cause dwelling in the past, however, it can temporarily take you back to a time and place of safety.

3. Stuffed toys

You don’t have to be a child to use a stuffed toy as a safety signal to ward off fears. I still have bears that I cuddle when I get really upset. It seems to be a way to feel something soft and familiar in your arms while defeating the fears of being alone, the paranoia of future bad news, or any negative thing that causes fear.
I can’t exactly explain why stuffed toys work so well, but they do. They’re inviting, comfortable and definitely always there for you. You’re never too old for a stuffed toy safety signal.

4. Music

In the same way, and yet differently, music can serve as a safe way to deal with fears. If you’ve been on this planet for a long time, you’ve probably built up quite a few favorite songs, styles of music and genres that provide certain feelings at certain times. When you’re afraid, due to anxiety, go to the music which signals a warm feeling inside. This is the type you want to listen to.
For me, many classic rock songs from the 70s and 80s seem to bring my head into a good space. Music choices to battle anxiety are different from person to person. The next time you are afraid, experiment with songs until you find what seems to calm you.

5. Certain people

Safety signals can also be people, but don’t assume they’re going to be the obvious choices. You may assume your mate would be your safety signal, but they’re not always the correct choice.
Your signal could be one of your children, a friend, or some other extended family member, like a cousin. You will know who it is when you feel that same feeling of safety as when you squeeze a stuffed toy.

6. Nature

And again, I must give props to nature for being a powerful safety signal for many people who have phobias and anxieties. That is unless, of course, they have a fear of nature. In that case, it won’t work.
Otherwise, nature, with its brisk fresh air, beautiful greenery, trees, the open skies – all this can quickly calm fears if you let it. And don’t forget the sounds of nature as well. You can listen to nature sounds on digital media, but nothing beats the real thing.

Finding your best signal for safety

Only you can discover what works best when dealing with anxiety, phobias, or other unwarranted fears. Triggers can be tamed with safety signals when used quickly and practiced for consistency.
With a routine of using these signals, your therapy, and prescribed medication, you can really put a hurting on those things which scare you. And that’s exactly what we aim to do. Even during times of universal crisis, we can stay on top of things with the right comforting object, person, or place.
Now’s the time, if you don’t already know, find your safety signal. I already have quite a few myself.
Be blessed.

 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:
 

 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.


 


Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 23:46
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8 Emotional Manipulation Tactics and How to Recognize Them

 

8 Emotional Manipulation Tactics and How to Recognize Them

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted April 20th, 2020.

 
 
 

 

Physical or verbal abuse is easy to recognize because you can see it or hear it. However, emotional manipulation tactics aren’t always obvious.
At some point in our lives, we’ve either witnessed emotional abuse, or we’ve been victims of this heartache. I can attest to being a survivor of a couple of decades of this type of abuse myself. Emotional abuse is hard to see sometimes, and that’s why, in my opinion, it’s one of the worst types of abuse of them all. It also leaves deep scars that only really strong individuals can carry.

Emotional manipulation tactics

Emotional abuse isn’t just a random form of abuse used out of anger or frustration. Not to excuse physical violence or verbal assault, but emotional abuse is sometimes planned and perfected before use. It sounds kind of evil, doesn’t it?
Well, in some cases, it is. In other cases, it comes from a long pattern of abusive behavior through generations. This is why we need to recognize tactics used by emotional abusers to manipulate people, and we need to put a stop to these subtle attacks.

Different tactics used in emotional abuse:

1. Getting close… fast

Individuals who use emotional manipulation tactics tend to act as though they are falling in love with you fast. If it’s not an intimate relationship, they may try to convince you that they are your best friend after only knowing you a short time. So, how does this become abusive?
Well, what happens is they tell you a few really deep things about themselves, and act as if no one else knows this about them. Then they use these secrets to coax information from you! Are you still wondering how this leads to manipulation?
Here’s the thing, what they tell you isn’t all that secret, but your secrets are. They use these things that you tell them to manipulate you, while the things they tell you, many other people already know. You see…it was a trick. Now, they have ammo against you.

2. Twisting facts

Emotional manipulators are experts at twisting facts. If they don’t straight out lie, they will exaggerate, say you said what they said, or simply pretend they never heard you say anything at all. They will lie in creative ways, and push the agenda that something happened in a way that it did not.
Twisting facts, for this type of abuser, is easy for them. They’ve been doing it most of their lives to get what they want and never be responsible.

3. The raised voice distraction

I am familiar with this one, but I only learned about it in the last couple of years. Until last year, I’d never seen a grown man throw a child-like tantrum when caught in the act. Not to give details, but he was using the raised voice distraction and intimidation tactic to get what he wanted… an apology, when he should have been apologizing.
You see, screaming or getting loud is shocking if you’re not used to that sort of behavior in a discussion or confrontation. Emotional manipulators use this tactic when there is nothing else they can use.
It took me a while to recognize what was happening, I stopped apologizing when I wasn’t in the wrong, and I made peace with the fact that he may leave. Truth is, when someone screams, threatens to leave or acts childlike, sometimes it’s best if they leave if they cannot stop. You have to come to terms with this because not only is raising the voice emotional abuse, it’s also verbal abuse as well.

4. Rushing decision making

Okay, this may sound weird, but I also started to catch on to this one lately. Emotional manipulators, when they want to do something they know would upset you, will ask your opinion in a rushed environment.
They will ask you questions as they are walking out the door, or by short text during a work break, or even ask right in the middle of an unrelated conversation. They assume you will just go along with whatever it is because you were caught off guard. Watch out for this seemingly innocent tactic, which is, in fact, emotional manipulation. It’s irritating.

5. Overusing the word “insecure”

No matter what’s bugging you, you must be “insecure”. This is one of the emotional manipulation tactics that drive me crazy. You see, if they are the type to flirt, and you get angry when you see it or find out, they will say you are insecure about getting angry. Here’s a lesson. YOU ARE NOT INSECURE BECAUSE YOU GET ANGRY.
I typed that in all caps so you will understand how important that is to remember. Just because you don’t want certain boundaries crossed by other women or men in your relationship doesn’t mean you are insecure. It means you stick to your morals and standards. And honestly, if they don’t stop using this word, then maybe you don’t need them. I absolutely hate this, and yes, it’s personal.

6. Running out

An emotional manipulator will leave the scene when they realize they haven’t got a chance in winning an argument. They secretly want you to chase after them, and they threaten to leave the relationship too. This is in intimate relationships mostly, of course. They may stay gone a few hours or all night, leaving you worried and nervous.
I think it’s one of the cruelest forms of emotional manipulation. If you’re caught off guard, you will cry and call them over and over trying to get them home. It’s okay, it takes a while to catch on.
Personally, when I decide to leave relationships or friendships, I don’t run out, scream, threaten or anything. I usually just have a nice calm “sit down” and explain that I no longer wish to continue in the relationship anymore. But I think long and hard before making this final decision.
All these theatricals that manipulators use are time wasters and abusive behavior. The next time it happens, try not to be frightened, and maybe even hope they are serious about leaving. You don’t need those games in your life….trust me.

7. Pretending to be dumb

Oh, and adults will pretend to be dumb too. If you tell someone you have boundaries, they will break them, and then say that they never understood exactly what you meant. This releases them from the responsibility of their actions.
They even say they forgot, or try to twist your words about what you did and did not want in a relationship. They play dumb, but you have to be smart, and call them on every single time they try this crap. It’s just one of many tactics of emotional manipulation used by predators. Show them that you know what they are doing.

8. Playing victim

I remember many times laying my standards and boundaries out on the table for the people I loved. I did it in the beginning so they had a chance to run if they wanted to. The problem is, sometimes they agreed to each and every one of the things I held important, only to break them later in the relationship. Then they played the victim when I got angry about broken boundaries and hurts.
You see, unfortunately, some people never plan to respect your boundaries and standards, but they still want to be in a relationship with you. What they do is hope that they can change the way you believe. If you are entering a relationship, please be clear on what you want, and if you both are too different, then just walk away.
Most people don’t change unless they make the decision to do so on their own. If someone is playing victim to you, remind them of the standards and boundaries you set in the beginning, and leave the door open for them if they wish to leave.

Why people who use these emotional manipulation tactics are the worst abusers

Do you know why emotional abuse is worse than any other abuse? It’s because emotional abuse doesn’t harm you physically, it’s more than screaming, and it doesn’t rape you. Emotional abuse goes beyond every muscle and fiber of your being and attacks the essence of who you are.
It makes you question everything. It makes you doubt your worth as well. I would never downplay other forms of abuse because I’ve been through them all, but the emotional abuse makes me angrier than all the others. Once I understand this is happening,  I learn not to respond to the call to fight.
You can do this as well. It just takes a little education on the subject and a little practice. Do not let them take away your self-worth, and do not let them make you afraid to be alone. That’s all you need to fight with.
Sending blessings.

 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:
 

 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.


 


Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 00:55
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Domingo, 19 de Abril de 2020

What Is the Story of Your Life? How You Tell It May Reveal Who You Are.

What Is the Story of Your Life? 

How You Tell It May Reveal Who You Are.

Lottie Miles, M.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted April 18th, 2020.

 
story of your life narrative psychology.

 


You might not often get a chance to tell the story of your life, but when you do how would you tell itRecent research has shown that the way you tell the story of your life has an impact on your personality and your well-being.
In this post, we take a look at how our personal narratives dictate who we are and we look at ways we can alter how we interpret our life for the better.
What Is Narrative Psychology?
Personal narratives fall within the realm of narrative psychology. Narrative psychology is concerned with how humans create meaning from stories and how they portray themselves in the story of their life. Narrative psychologists are interested in how we choose to tell our personal narratives, how this changes over time, and what this reveals about our personality.

Why Is the Story of Your Life Important?

The story of your life isn’t only present when you tell it to others, it is also a personal narrative that exists within us whether we recognize it or not.
When we think about our past we are, in fact, telling ourselves the story of our life. How we interpret that story is, according to researchers at Western Washington University, reveals, constructs and sustains ourselves through time. And it is how we make sense of the world around us.
The story of your life is important because it is a product of events, interpretations, and facts that you have picked out from your years on this earth and pieced together to make meaning. What we choose to focus on, and how we tell it can reflect who we are.

How Can the Story of Your Life Impact Who You Are?

So, what does it mean that the story of our life reflects who we are? Let’s look at an example of a memory. Imagine that you had gone through a difficult time in your career. You were made redundant and left without a job. During this time you discovered that your real interests lay elsewhere and you found yourself pursuing a different and more fulfilling career path.
How would you tell this story? Would you focus on the negative part or would you interpret this time in your life as a positive turning point in your life?
Those who tell their life stories with more of a positive slant, that see light in the dark moments, are more likely to experience greater life satisfaction and better mental health. This is also true for those who give a sense of autonomy in their life story and mention meaningful relationships within their personal narrative.
On the other hand, reliving your experiences and telling stories containing more “contamination”, negativity and a lack of autonomy can relate to less life satisfaction and reduced well-being. This can also have an impact on the kind of person we continue to be and how we continue to view the world around us.

Adjusting Our Personal Narratives

In telling our own story we reveal how we see ourselves. It uncovers how we have interpreted events in our lives and whether or not we view them from a positive or a negative angle. Unsurprisingly, this has an impact on our well-being, life satisfaction, and our self-esteem. How many times have you compared your life with someone else and being left feeling inferior?
Such a thought pattern is unhelpful, and in re-framing our personal narrative we may be able to improve our outlook on life. One study of life stories asked volunteers to write their narrative in a more constructive way – following this these individuals showed greater goal persistence long after the experiment took place. This suggests that, in re-framing our personal narrative, we can improve our motivation and general satisfaction from day to day life.
Known as ‘narrative therapy’, individuals can be helped to re-interpret the story of their life and be assisted in seeing it in a more constructive and positive way.
In this respect, re-framing the story of your life is not dissimilar to the philosophical concept that life is what we make of it and that we construct our own realities. It is not surprising, therefore, that how we construct our own life affects who we are and how we view ourselves.
Take some time to think about the story of your life and how you have previously framed it for yourself and others.
See how any of the negative aspects could be re-framed into something that you learned from, whether it led you to meet a life-long friend or generally viewing it in a more constructive light.
Life certainly has its ups and downs and not all of it can be positive. But realizing when events are actually bad, or if you have just interpreted them in that way, will help you to learn about yourself, who you are and how you might be able to alter such perspectives for improved life satisfaction and well-being.


 

 

Lottie Miles

 




 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 01:18
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Quinta-feira, 16 de Abril de 2020

4 Differences Between Antisocial and Introvert: Which One Are You?

4 Differences Between Antisocial and Introvert: Which One Are You? 

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

April 16th, 2020

 

Introverts are almost always mistaken for being antisocial. The immediate assumption is that they don’t want to be around others because they don’t like anyone. Their reclusiveness is seen as hostile. Antisocial and introvert could appear similar at surface level, but they aren’t the same at all.
Antisocial people could be introverted or extroverted. Being antisocial refers to your behavior towards others. Introvert and extrovert are labels attributed to the way you think and feel about being around others.

What Are Antisocial and Introvert?

Introvert

Being an introvert means your energy levels are depleted quickly from social interaction. While an introvert might also suffer from social anxiety or even be an antisocial person, the “introvert” label doesn’t require it. Introverts can be confident and happy to socialize within their chosen boundaries.

Antisocial

Introvert and antisocial people differ greatly in their willingness to interact with others. Antisocial people are actively unwilling to interact with others. They are often hostile and angry towards other people. Antisocial people, unlike introverts, have no concern for the unwritten rules of social interactions. They are cynical and unempathetic towards others.
Antisocial people will typically prioritize themselves, their work, or their own fun over friends and socializing.

The Differences Between Antisocial and Introvert

1. Energy Drain

Introverts are defined by their loss of energy when they’re interacting with other people. This could be worst in large crowds, or with one on one meetings. It all depends on the person and the intensity of the interaction. In order to replenish their energy, introverts need to be alone or with a small, peaceful group of people they’re close to.
This can be seen as being antisocial because they might leave parties early, or steer clear of big groups socializing altogether. However, these choices have nothing to do with how much they like or even love the people around them, they’re just avoiding mental exhaustion.
Antisocial people have no concept of the energy drain. Their decision to stay way has nothing to do with their energy, and all to do with how little they like being in the company of others. Antisocial people could be extroverts too. Their energy might not be diminished by being around other people, they just don’t enjoy socializing or interacting with them.

2. Care and Concern

By nature, introverts tend to be very empathetic. They care for other people’s feelings deeply. Introverts are often very aware of their own emotions, and this makes them extra perceptive of the emotions of others. They never want to make others feel the kind of discomfort they do at times, so they always make sure to take care of the feelings of the people around them.
Antisocial people differ in that they have little to no care or concern for the feelings of the people around them. They aren’t interested in how their words or actions affect others. Unlike introverts, antisocial people don’t follow the unwritten rules of society or social niceties.
Introverts will usually struggle to admit when they want to leave a gathering or that they don’t have the energy to attend an event. They feel upset and worried that they might hurt someone. Antisocial people will openly admit that they aren’t having fun, or don’t want to go, with no concern for how it might make anyone else feel.

3. Relationships and Connections

Despite plenty of misconceptions, introverts can have plenty of friends and loved ones they’re close to. Many people assume that introverts are shy and reclusive, but this isn’t necessarily the case.
Introverts might be loners, or they might be friendly social people. Introversion is about energy, not the number of friends you have. Introverts are also presumed to be shy and struggle to make new friends. This is, of course, not true. Introverts could happily make new friends, and easily maintain a fun group of old friends.
Antisocial people, on the other hand, don’t choose to make new connections often and likely maintain a very small circle of friends and family. They would rather be alone as often as possible and don’t feel that their lives would be improved with more relationships or connections.

4. Enjoyment Gained

An important difference between people who are antisocial and those who are introverted is how much or how little they enjoy company. Introverts are often shamed for being “boring” and “never want to have any fun”. Admittedly, introverts might choose quieter activities given the choice, but there’s no reason why an introvert can’t enjoy being social.
Introverts can still be party-goers and fun-lovers and enjoy doing things with their friends and the people they love. They might avoid or be apprehensive about talking to large groups of new people, but that’s only down to the impending exhaustion, not an aversion to socializing.
Antisocial people are typically the complete opposite. They genuinely don’t care for socializing or expect to have fun with groups of people. They might have a small circle of friends, but they likely don’t require their presence for excitement or fun.
For too long now, introverts have been mislabelled as antisocial, and it’s just not fair. Introverts can be exciting, adventurous people who like the company of others. They just keep it within their boundaries and protect their energy. If a person is antisocial, then they aren’t protecting themselves, they just don’t care at all. This is the basic difference between antisocial and introvert.
 
 
 
 

 

Becky Storey
 

 




 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

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publicado por achama às 21:52
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How Defensive Pessimism Can Help You Cope with Anxiety

 

How Defensive Pessimism Can Help You Cope with Anxiety

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted April 15th, 2020.

 
 
 

 

Stop telling people that everything is going to be fine. Sometimes it isn’t, and this is where defensive pessimism helps us cope with that fact.
Not everything in the world goes according to plan. Some things go terribly wrong. For optimists, this can be devastating. You see, optimistic people, while their happiness is usually pretty healthy, sometimes do not account for what can go wrong. With the use of defensive pessimism, individuals can accept bad outcomes.
How does defensive pessimism work?
When I speak of a defensive type of pessimism, I don’t mean you’re getting offended and being negative. No, I’m talking about using your thoughts to plan a defense against the pain of bad outcomes.
It’s like that old saying goes, ‘plan for the worst, but hope for the best’. You see, that’s what your defense is all about. When it comes to anxiety, being defensively pessimistic is actually much better than trying to be optimistic all the time.

How to use defensive pessimism to calm your anxieties:

1. Utilizing strategy

While positive thinking helps you stay upbeat and hopeful, defensive pessimism works those strategy muscles. When you play chess, you don’t think one move ahead, but three, four or even five moves…strategy.
Some even think further ahead than that. Strategies in pessimism help us to understand that we do need to appreciate the now, but we can also plan ahead in case our opposition, the world, throws us a surprise.

2. Preparations expert

When you use pessimism to your advantage instead of letting it become overwhelming, you learn how to make logical preparations. It’s kind of like being realistic about life and knowing what tools to have for both good and bad outcomes.
This doesn’t just apply to surprises, it can apply to anything negative that plagues you or could become a problem. If you are prepared, negative issues will only be a small bump in the road. A prime example lies in retaining what’s called “Plan B”. You’ve heard me talk about it a few times, I believe.

3. Past experiences drive intellect

A defensive pessimist is often pushed by negative past experiences. These traumatic events cause many problems for them later in life, but it also grows a strong human being. These individuals rarely use optimistic strategies to combat life’s problems. They understand that “Just stay positive” doesn’t solve problems, and doesn’t keep them away.
Instead, they think of all the possible scenarios of most any given situation, just short of letting it overtake them. They know when to stop, and keep stress at bay, replacing that worry with those strategic plans that I mentioned above.
4. Using all your abilities
When you are defensively pessimistic, you tend to utilize hidden abilities. Optimists may never use these abilities because they tend to ward of concern and worry completely, depending on everything going the way it’s supposed to.
When you properly use your defenses however, you use all the abilities you’ve earned in life, plus the gifts you were born with to make sure you have that safety net. When things go south, you have a basket full of options to choose from. Yes, you’re prepared, and having many powerful abilities just adds even more to your preparations for “Plan B”.

5. Controls and tames anxiety

So, we come to the main reason why defensive pessimism is also a good mindset. When you have anxiety, and everyone is trying to make you stay positive, your levels of panic actually rise. This happens due to the pressure of thinking all good thoughts. It leaves you unprepared for what could happen. While it might not be all that good to constantly dwell on bad things, it’s also not good to assume everything will be rainbows and butterflies all the time.
Being defensive allows you to work through scenarios in your head and gives you the chance to tame your anxiety by coming up with solutions you may possibly need later. Controlling anxiety means staying in control of your life.
Optimism actually doesn’t give you all that much control at all. It just means “Stay happy, believe in good things, and never think the worst”. While this sounds all good and wonderful, it can be extremely dangerous to some.

Balancing between pessimism and optimism

I’ve been pessimistic many times in life, even to the point of being too dark. I have tried being optimistic, and that worked for a while, but only a while. So, defensive pessimism has actually become a way of life for me.
I do prepare for the worst and hope for the best, most of the time. While I don’t know the whole truth about how healthy this is, I believe it can’t be any worse than turning a blind eye to problems and assuming life will always turn out great. I would be fooling you and me both.
I do, however, think defensive pessimism is worth a try. Planning for the pitfalls of the future can really allow you to exercise strategy, gathering preparations and bracing for negative impacts. Either way, striking a good balance between dark and light in this manner is well worth a try.
What do you think?
References:
  1. https://sites.psu.edu
  2. https://health.usnews.com

 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:
 

 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

  geoglobe1
 
 
publicado por achama às 00:55
link | comentar | favorito

Why Emotional Awareness Is Important and How to Build It

Why Emotional Awareness Is Important and How to Build It

Jamie Logie, B. Sc.

learning-mind.com

April 15, 2020 .

 
emotional awareness build.

 

 

Emotional awareness – or emotional intelligence – will not only connect you better to others but also to yourself.
The ability to be aware of the emotions of others can go a long way in creating better connections. Being able to empathize with another person is at the cornerstone of building real intimacy and connection. The better that you can understand emotional awareness, the better you will then be at understanding and helping others.
Emotional awareness is not just an outward trait but ultimately helps you to get a better understanding of yourself. This article will look at why emotional awareness is important and how to build it.

What Is Emotional Awareness?

We face many problems each day. Many of these problems are internal, and many are based on the relationships we have with others. Being an emotionally aware person allows us to confront the many problems with ourselves – and our relationships – with patience, insight, and imagination.
This is all about becoming more awareMore aware of your emotions, more aware of the emotions of others, and more aware of how to control all these emotions.
This awareness is also considered a form of intelligence. We usually associated intelligence with cognitive function and IQ, but intelligence is also connected to emotion. Intelligence or awareness gives us the ability to successfully navigate around certain challenges. In this case, it’s how you can navigate around various emotional situations.

Why Is Emotional Awareness Important?

Building your emotional awareness will have many positive effects on all aspects of your life. It allows you to lower your levels of social anxiety and makes public situations more bearable. You will develop a higher level of self-esteem – which has a great spillover effect on things like career and success.
Emotional awareness is also important to help control and lower levels of depression. And it creates better relationships with family, friends, and those you spend your time with.
Those with a lack of emotional intelligence find life to be extremely frustrating. They have no control over their feelings and actions, lash out at others, push people away, and feel constant anxiety. We can chalk up most broken relationships to a lack of emotional awareness and intelligence.
It helps to look at a lack of emotional intelligence the same way we would with cognitive intelligence. They both create profound repercussions, but with a lack of emotional intelligence; the effect can be much more long-lasting.
Benefits of Having Emotional Awareness
Those with a strong sense of emotional awareness can identify struggles and pain within other people. They can tap in and see that even though someone appears to be acting fine, deep down they are hurting. They have an intrinsic ability to identify what may cause a person to act a certain way.
Those with no emotional intelligence may easily dismiss an angry person, but the emotionally aware individual will see what may be causing this anger behind the scenes. They can identify sorrow that’s being masked by anger, humor, or denial.
It’s these types of people that make the best healers, teachers, leaders, and mentors. They draw others into them and make everyone around them better.

So, with this in mind, how can you build and develop your own emotional awareness? Let’s look at a few ways…

1. Examine Past Events

Look back on any past events that created certain emotions in you. They may have made you sad, jubilant, angry, frustrated, or hopeless. The important thing here is to look at why this event caused a specific emotional response. What or who caused this event? How was the event different than you expected? Could the consequences of the event have been avoided?
This is an important step for building emotional awareness as it helps you to learn what triggers specific emotions in you.

2. The Power of the Pause

Giving a short pause when speaking helps to give your brain a bit of a breather. Instead of just rambling on constantly, giving a brief pause gives you some space. This helps us to not instantly react, but dwell for a moment and consider the different options.
The idea is to create a pause in your own mind and thinking when confronted with an emotion. What usually happens is we experience a feeling and then want to react right away whether it be anger, sadness, or even a physical lashing out. When you focus on taking a pause after experiencing an emotion, you can better control your response.
The emotionally aware person doesn’t stop themselves from feeling an emotion but pauses to simply observe it. Observation is a strong thing and allows you to become better in tune with yourself and in better control of your feelings.
It’s important to remember that emotions change and they are in constant motion. When you learn to observe, and watch your feelings from the perspective of an outsider, the more you will improve your emotional awareness. This is why the pause is so powerful.

3.  Increase Your Vocabulary

If you’ve ever seen a frustrated child, you know that a big part of it is because they cannot articulate and verbalize what they are feeling. The same thing happens with those with low emotional awareness.
When you can increase your emotional vocabulary, you become better equipped to express yourself and your feelings. The average person’s emotional vocabulary revolves around simple things like mad, sad, happy, angry, etc.
Mad or angry is often a secondary result of things like frustration, disappointment, or even loss. Being unable to articulate how you truly feel does not create emotional awareness. Identifying a more special emotional vocabulary is an easy way to increase your emotional intelligence.
Here is a progression of a simple word that conveys an emotion but where it can be narrowed down to the true feeling:
  • sad –> despair –> powerless
  • happy –> proud –> confident
Start to include some of these words to better express yourself, and to help others in verbalizing how they feel:
  • frustrated
  • irritable
  • downtrodden
  • anxious
  • disillusioned
  • devastated
  • hesitant
  • fulfilled
  • hopeful
The more specific your word choice, the better you are at narrowing down how you truly feel. This is genuine emotional awareness.

Final Thoughts

Emotional awareness doesn’t happen overnight. To some people, it comes quite naturally, but others may have to work on it for a while. The main thing is there are some simple tips you can use to build it, and it can always grow and improve.
The better your emotional awareness is, the more emotional strength you can develop. This emotional strength will then allow you to help, inspire, and connect with others.
References:
  1. https://www.extension.harvard.edu
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  3. http://ei.yale.edu
 

About the Author: Jamie Logie, B.Sc.

Jamie Logie is a certified personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. He holds a bachelor of science (B.Sc.) degree in Kinesiology from the University of Western Ontario, studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".

COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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Terça-feira, 14 de Abril de 2020

How to Deal with Loneliness and Isolation During Quarantine

 

How to Deal with Loneliness and Isolation During Quarantine

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted April 13th, 2020.

 
 
 

 

Being alone and being lonely are two different things. Learn how to deal with loneliness during this trying time.
There’s nothing wrong with living alone. However, when quarantine happens, being alone may not be as comfortable as it once was. Even when we’re our only company at home, we can usually go out at times, but with a threat to our mortality at hand, this changes things. We must adjust to this change in our lifestyle.
Loneliness vs Being Alone
I’ve been alone before. When I first divorced several years ago, I had every other week on my own. The thing is, I still had to go to work and shop for food. I even spent time with a few close friends. I’m not alone now, but I can’t imagine how hard it would be for someone that is alone during this crisis, especially the more outgoing people.
Being alone is okay, but being lonely can take a toll on your health. So, it’s good to have ways to fight off this loneliness many of us are going through now.

How to deal with loneliness?

Dealing with loneliness isn’t easy for some people. After all, the norm is to go out and have fun when you’re lonely, right? Well, right now, we can’t run around and congregate in large numbers, we can’t dine out in nice restaurants, and we cannot even enjoy large spiritual gatherings. At least, we’re not supposed to do this.

1. Digital socializing

Most of the time, I would tell you to get off your computer and go visit someone, but today, I won’t be saying that. Today, I will be telling you to spend more time on your computer and chit chat with some friends. I’m serious. Now is the time to socialize online and share your feelings with others.
While we are quarantined, we can share our loneliness and thus thin it out a bit. Now, I didn’t say spend every waking moment on social media and such. That would make us more dependent now and later on as well. I just think you should check in every day with a  friend or two and release a bit of that pent up tension.

2. Understand what you’re feeling

It’s important to understand the differences in alone, loneliness and solitude. If you can easily differentiate between these three, you will be better capable of dealing with the inability to go out or see others. Alone is a choice, loneliness is the feeling of disconnect, and solitude is being alone in your thoughts completely, which includes being alone and disconnected as well.
You can actually be lonely in a room full of people. Did you know that? So, loneliness can be combatted by actually leaving a room and choosing to be by yourself for a while. That seems strange, doesn’t it, when learning how to deal with the effects of loneliness? And that is why it’s important that you know these differences.

3. Be old-fashioned / use the phone

I remember when the only way to get in touch with friends was the telephone. We still have that option with smartphones. Maybe, instead of hopping on the computer, we can give someone a call. Spend time the old-fashion way, and talk about how you’re feeling with friends and even distant family.
Learn about what’s happening in their area. It works in pretty much the same way as social media and such, but it gives your eyes a rest. Keep in mind, too much screen time can give you headaches, and you don’t want to be lonely with a headache. Switch your contact abilities up a bit.

4. Get to know and appreciate yourself

Did you know that some loneliness stems from the fact that you don’t know who you are, or that you don’t like yourself? This is also a fact.
Not until I spent some time alone during rotating weeks of joint child custody, did I learn who I really was, and guess what? I am a good person and worthy of all my dreams and goals. Many people lean on others to decide who they are and base their worth, and they should never do that.
Now’s the time to get to know yourself, and if you don’t like what you learn, then dig deeper and do some repair work. Just don’t let despair and depression try and tell you who you are. Remember this: you are beautiful, you are worthy, and you are needed in this broken world. Over time, this self-education will relieve quite a bit of your loneliness and you will love your own company.

5. Stay active

I know this is an option on many of my posts concerning a myriad of conditions and situations, but it works. In fact, I am such a fan of this option that I downloaded a free app for daily short exercises and Yoga sessions. At the moment, there are several free apps for your phone that guide you through workouts, and you should check it out.
As well as inside exercises, if you live in a remote location with distant neighbors, you can get some exercise outside. Take a walk, jog or if it’s warm in your area, plant a few herbs or vegetables. It actually takes quite a bit of energy to cultivate and plant a garden, even potted plants. Either way, find a way to stay active. This is how you understand how to deal with loneliness.

Loneliness during isolation and quarantine

These are only a few ways to deal with being quarantined, and it works with isolation as well. Considering, to be honest, isolation is used to keep the sick from infecting others, and quarantine is keeping you separated from the sick in most cases.
These terms are sometimes used interchangeably or incorrectly, but you probably understand my point. Knowing this, you must find ways to keep yourself occupied, maybe even for quite some time.
You can also read, paint, listen to music, and reorganize your home. There are so many ideas, but it may be hard to think of these things because of the intensive loneliness, and the depression it may bring. I hope this helps a little, and you can offer other ideas in the comments as well.
We will get through this, so hang in there.

 

 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 01:13
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Quinta-feira, 9 de Abril de 2020

Why You Are Feeling Sorry for Yourself and How to Stop

 

Why You Are Feeling Sorry for Yourself and How to Stop

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted April 8th, 2020.

 
 
 

 

You’ve probably moped around feeling sorry for yourself before. There are ways to stop this and cultivate a more positive attitude.
Yes, I am familiar with self-pity, and I bet you are too. But feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t get you far in life. It robs you of the time you can use to be productive and change things. No, the world isn’t fair, and bad things happen sometimes, but mulling around in self-negativity doesn’t help.
Are you feeling sorry for yourself?
Quick, take your mental temperature. Are you wallowing in self-pity? There are ways to tell if you are. If you’ve lost all passion for the things you love or talk constantly about your misfortune, you might be feeling sorry for your life and yourself. Would you like to know how to stop doing this? I thought you would.

How to stop the train of pity?

1. Accept the pity

I know this might sound counteractive, but just listen. It is okay to feel sorry for yourself for a little while. I know I might be going a little against the title in this post, but you will understand if you read on. What’s most concerning, is staying in self-pity for too long.
So, allow yourself to feel those negative feelings, every single emotion, but then agree to let them go after a certain period of time. Just don’t hold onto negativity for too long. Letting self-pity go will help you eventually feel less and less sorry for yourself in time.

2. Help someone

Helping other people always gets us out of our own head and into the concerns of friends, family, and even some strangers. The more you get out of your head, the better the perspective on what’s happening in your life that hurts. Of course, you should tackle your problems after helping someone else. Keep those things separated.
For example: Help someone move, listen to someone else’s problems or offer to babysit. Trust me, all these things will make you stop thinking negatively about yourself so much. You will see what other people are going through. Plus, it’s just right to help others anyway.

3. Change your focus

No matter what’s happened in your life to make you feel sorry for yourself, there are many things good about you. There are things that people see in you that you may not even see in yourself. However, if you focus on things that don’t revolve around self-pity, you may be able to grow a more positive outlook.
Try focusing on what you have instead of what you don’t have. So, you might not own a house, but you rent a decent one that keeps you safe and warm. You might not have a new car, but the one you have gets you where you need to go. Change how you see things, and self-pity will fade.

4. Stop giving up, and start breaking boundaries

When I say boundaries, I don’t mean the positive ones you’ve set for you and your life. I’m talking about the limitations that people place on you in society.
If you’re trying to become a doctor, and people keep telling you that you’re not cut out for it, do you back down and accept what they say? Of course, you don’t because this makes you start feeling sorry for yourself. So, if you want to be a doctor, start climbing on the bumps of criticism that everyone keeps throwing in front of you. When you refuse to give up, pity cannot survive.

5. Stay away from the 3 P’s

There are three thought processes that keep us locked in feeling pity. These mindsets are personalization, pervasiveness, and permanence.
With personalization, we tend to think that our situation is our fault alone. We blame ourselves and dwell on what we could have done differently. With pervasiveness, we assume that a traumatic event will affect all areas of our lives, and this is not true. And permanence makes us think that bad things will last forever.
These three lies must be thrown out in order to stop feeling sorry about our situations.

6. Think about your future

Yes, it’s great to live in the present, I encourage that. The thing is, you need to take a quick look at how your future could be if you continue to feel sorry for yourself. You see, self-pity is stressful, and it can take years off your life.
So, ask yourself if what you’re feeling bad about will matter in the next 5 years. If you don’t think it will, then start to let it go before it makes you sick. Remember, mental and physical health are connected and influence each other both ways. Keep your future in sight, just a bit of it, and maybe this will help you retain hope instead of pity.

So, let’s stop feeling sorry for us

When I say us, it means I sometimes suffer from the trap of self-pity myself. So, you’re not alone. It’s not all that difficult to do, especially when your life has been a series of letdowns and traumatic events. But you see, you cannot let those things define you, and when you feel sorry for yourself, that’s what happens.
I hope this helped you do a bit of positive thinking, and most of all, I hope it gave you the strength to stand in the face of adversity. I’m working on it myself, and so we’re doing it together.
I wish you well.
References:
  1. https://www.forbes.com
  2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

 

 

 
Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:
 

 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

  geoglobe1
 
 
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