Terça-feira, 19 de Maio de 2020

5 Ugly Truths about Life That Will Make You a Better Person

 

5 Ugly Truths about Life That Will Make You a Better Person

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted May 19th, 2020.

 
 
 
 
ugly truths about life.
 
 
It isn’t always easy to become a higher version of yourself. There are ugly truths that must be faced in order to change for the better.
I’m not here to say you are a bad person. I cannot make that judgment. But the truth remains, there is always room for improvement, and you can see it in what you’re not doing.For instance, take a moment and write down a few positive actions you’re taking. Don’t write down your qualities, no, think about what you’ve actually done that’s brought about a positive outcome or helped someone. Ugly truths say that list may be short. It may be hard to think of any positive actions you’ve taken lately, even though you do mean well.
I can attest to this myself. I talk about all the things I want to do to help someone, but I only accomplish around a fraction of those things. To be a better person in life, I have to glance into the ugly face of truth for myself. There are many things I can do in order to become the person I want to be. It is hard sometimes to face up to this.
There are a few examples of ugly truths, in case you’re wondering what’s holding you back. Take a look.

Ugly truths that bring good outcomes

1. The world only wants what you can provide

No matter how good of a person you think you are, the world only cares how much you can provide with the skills you possess. Do you think the world thinks about your charming personality or your empathetic nature?
I’m sorry, but to the world, these things are just pretty icing on a cake that may or may not taste good to them. What the world wants is someone who can make money, build things, produce things, and provide any demand it throws out.
So, to be a better person, you must accept this truth. It may be a mean spirited attitude that the world has, but it’s the ugly truth, that the worlds wants. When you accept this raw honesty, what happens is you learn to love yourself despite what the world wants. You can choose to provide however you wish, and understand that this is what the world likes, but you can also appreciate who you are, and this makes you better for it.

2. People will let you down

Do you remember telling your best friend that secret and how they promised to never tell anyone? Yeah, they told someone, maybe even a few people. A good friend once told me that when you tell one person a secret, at least one other person will know, and so on. The ugly truth is, it is almost impossible to have a friend who doesn’t spill the beans occasionally, and at least to one individual.
And that’s not all, people will disappoint you in other ways too. If you think you will get into a relationship and it will be perfect, you are delusional. It will be bad at times, maybe many times. Your employer will not be perfect, your family will not be perfect. People are imperfect and they cannot do the right thing 100% of the time. So, get used to it.

3. What’s worthwhile requires hard work

You will never be able to have something truly special or productive if you don’t work really hard. I know this is not what you want to hear, but it’s the hard truth. You know those laid-back people who believe in “taking it easy”, yeah, they usually don’t fulfill great goals in their lives. I promise, just watch them for a while and see for yourself.
If you want to stand out and get a promotion, for instance, you must work your butt off and do so in such a way that you get noticed as a highly productive employee. If you work a little, you will reap only a small reward. If you stay busy and productive, you can fulfill great dreams.

4. Perfect happiness doesn’t exist

If you think some particular thing is all you need to be perfectly happy, you are wrong. There is nothing in the world that can make you happy to the point where you will have no other troubles.
True happiness is within, and I am sure you’ve heard this before. Now, this is true, but, this true happiness from within will also never be perfect. Life is not perfect, we are not either, and the ugly truth is… happiness is fleeting. However, there is nothing wrong with pursuing it anyway. Just always be aware that it doesn’t last forever.

5. You will die

Did you know that for the most part, we ignore the fact that we’re going to die? It might not be tomorrow, next month, or even next year. In fact, we may live a hundred years. But, the fact remains, we will die.
This is an ugly truth that should have you organizing your priorities and getting the most out of each and every day. But since we ignore, deny, or just turn our face away from death, we get lazy and we procrastinate. Yes, I guess I’m preaching doom and gloom here, but to be honest, you will, someday, somehow… die. So, face it and be better for it too.

The ugliness of truth will help you

Thinking that life is a fairy tale may be fun in the short term, but it will make you waste away in the long run. If we face things in truth, we can find ways to better use our time, hopefully, wisely.
I cannot brag about this at all. I think sometimes I am terrible at facing the truth and its ugliness, and I watch hours of television or scroll mindlessly on the computer. Is this a pattern you recognize in yourself.
I urge you, as a fellow procrastinator, to join me in facing the ugly truths of life. It will hurt, but just think of how worthwhile your life will be when you stop denying what’s really happening. We can do this.
I have faith in you. 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.


 


Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 19:07
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Domingo, 10 de Maio de 2020

How to Deal with Failure When Everything Goes Wrong

How to Deal with Failure When Everything Goes Wrong

By Anna LeMind, B.A.

May 10th, 2020

how to deal with failure.

 
In these times of ubiquitous uncertainty, many people feel like everything is falling apart. Businesses fail, relationships are going through the trial of social distancing, loneliness and isolation are more intense than ever. For this reason, you may want to know how to deal with failure and uncertainty.
If you are feeling like a failure during this turbulent period, you are not alone. Whatever it is that you may have failed in, there are some things you can do to overcome it as quickly as possible and find the motivation to go on.
Hey, I know that you are tired of vague recommendations like ‘stay strong’ or ‘think positive’ that every single motivational article seems to feature. To be honest, they are not really helpful when everything goes wrong and you are feeling desperate. So I’m going to share with you a few actionable tips I use to deal with failure during these uncertain times. Hopefully, they will help you get through this difficult period.

How to Deal with Failure: 6 No-Nonsense Tips to Use When Everything Goes Wrong

1. Don’t overgeneralize

We often overgeneralize our situation when things go wrong and attribute the negative aspects of what’s happening to ourselves. Failing at something – especially during such challenging times we are living in – doesn’t mean that your whole life is a failure.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of beating yourself for your wrong choices or a lack of foresight. You might be blaming yourself for the things you did or didn’t do, which led you here where you are now.
However, never label yourself as a failure or incapable. This will only bring you more pain and despair. Your current situation doesn’t reflect who you are. You can become a success again, and all it takes is to face this adversity with all your resilience and learn from your mistakes.

2. Don’t catastrophize

It’s perfectly understandable if you are feeling like your whole world is falling apart. Like you are never going to be fulfilled or successful again and everything you have been working for so hard is gone for good. When we exaggerate the impact of the hardships that come our way, we fall victim to what is called catastrophic thinking.
Intense negative emotions like frustration and despair can blind you. When you fall into the abyss of this darkness, everything looks uglier than it is. Give yourself some time to gain a clear vision again and you will see that things are not as terrible as you thought. You will realize that it’s not over and you can still fix the situation and go on with your life.

3. Challenge your inner critic

If you are an overthinker and have the self-destructive habit of criticizing yourself, dealing with failure can be even harder. Are you getting too hard on yourself? Is your inner critic telling you ugly things about yourself? Is it even calling you names?
For a self-critical person, it’s a gloomy reality of dealing with hardships, no matter how small. If you are this kind of person, you always blame it all on yourself. While taking responsibility for your mistakes is a productive approach, dwelling on unhealthy guilt and negativity towards yourself is never going to do you any good. So how to deal with failure when you are a self-critical overthinker?
Just ignoring your self-deprecating thoughts can lead to repression and bitterness. So when your inner critic talks, don’t ignore it. Instead, challenge it. When it’s calling you names like a ‘loser’ or ‘worthless’, reply with positive statements about yourself.
It’s similar to using positive affirmations, but you can supercharge their power by giving yourself a specific reason why you are a capable/good/successful person. For example:
  • I am capable and competent because I run my own business
  • My life is a success because I have a happy family
  • I am a smart person, so I will succeed again
These kinds of statements are a more effective way to deal with failure and beat self-criticism than general affirmations like ‘I’m a good person’ or ‘I’m a success’. They also help you challenge your inner critic in a constructive way instead of giving in to its devastating negativity.

4. Recall the moments of joy and success

Our thoughts hold enormous power, and so do our memories. You’ve probably seen this power when you ruminated about something bad that had happened in your past. Thoughts of this nature create strong negative emotions, which are very real, even though the situation you are ruminating about is long over.
The good news is that you can use the power of your thoughts to your advantage too. When you are dealing with failure, turn to your memories of success. And I’m not talking just about having a quick glance at them in your mind. I’m talking about actually immersing into a moment when you felt like a success.
Make it a sort of meditation session. Sit somewhere quiet, close your eyes, and recall every detail of that memory. What day was it? What was the weather like? Who were you with? What were you wearing? Recalling these nuances will help you feel that moment and your feelings in all their glory.
In no time, you will feel more powerful and optimistic. You will realize that you still have many more moments of success in front of you, and the failure you are facing right now is not the end of the world.

5. Practice gratitude

Just like recalling a positive memory, focusing on the positive things or people in your life is a great way to deal with failure and lift your spirits. Even when it feels like everything goes wrong, it’s certain that your life still has a bright side. There are still things you can be grateful for but take them for granted, like we all do.
Sadly, we often start to truly appreciate something when life forces us to do without it. So, when life puts you face-to-face with failure, practicing gratitude is another way to see your situation in a more positive light.
Hug your special someone, spend quality time with your family, play with your kids. These experiences help you realize how lucky you actually are. Feeling the warmth of emotional connection and receiving the support of your dear ones will give you the motivation to go on and the power to push through any adversity.
And of course, don’t forget about the most obvious things that most people tend to neglect like health, income, and life itself. Even though your failure may feel like a real disaster right now, be certain that many people are in a much more unfortunate position than you are. So take a few moments to appreciate this treasure you have been taking for granted for so long.

6. Plan your next move

Finally, at some point, you need to pull yourself together and actually deal with your failure and its consequences. I understand that you may need some time to cope with your frustration and find the emotional strength to do anything.
But don’t dwell on failure for too long – if you are too busy ruminating and blaming yourself, you may miss the opportunity to actually solve the problem. Use the tips above to lighten your mood and as soon as you gain a clear vision and can think reasonably again, plan your next move.
Do your research, weigh your options, consider the changes you need to make. Most importantly, evaluate your previous decisions and mistakes that led to failure and think over the lessons you learned to make sure it won’t happen again.
If you manage to turn failure into your teacher, you will get out of it as a wiser and more resilient person than you were before. This means that facing failure may, in fact, help you succeed in life, no matter how controversial this may sound.
The bottom line is to act on failure and learn from it instead of just watching it ruin your life and end up feeling miserable and sorry for yourself.

To Deal with Failure, Remember This Simple Truth

In the end, the most important thing to remember when dealing with failure is that it too shall pass. So don’t give up just yet. There will be many more opportunities to succeed. Think about the lessons failure taught you about life, keep trying, and be sure that you have many more successes to celebrate in the future.
 

Anna LeMind
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About the Author: Anna LeMind

Anna is the founder and lead editor of the website Learning-mind.com. She is passionate about learning new things and reflecting on thought-provoking ideas. She writes about science, psychology and other related topics. She is particularly interested in topics regarding introversion, consciousness and subconscious, perception, human mind's potential, as well as the nature of reality and the universe.
 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.
 
 
Discernment is recommended.
 
 
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 



 

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publicado por achama às 17:35
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Sexta-feira, 8 de Maio de 2020

What Is Practical Wisdom, Why You Need It and How to Develop It

What Is Practical Wisdom, Why You Need It and How to Develop It

Lottie Miles, M.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted May 8th, 2020.

 
practical wisdom.

 


Many of us sometimes feel a bit lost. We can be paralyzed by decisions and end up feeling emotionally numb. Do you ever feel like you need to reconnect with some inner compass? The answer could be found in developing practical wisdom.
But what exactly is practical wisdom? In this post, we will explore its history. From all the way back to Aristotle to how it is thought of today. After uncovering the virtues of practical wisdom, you will discover why you need it and how to develop it.
Aristotle and Practical Wisdom
Much of our knowledge and thinking around practical wisdom goes back to Aristotle. Interestingly, Aristotle’s thinking went against his teacher Plato. Plato thought that wisdom was not practical but only attainable in the realm of theory and abstract thought.
In Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle outlines how practical wisdom is a moral or intellectual basis for our actions. While similar to the skills of a craftsman (to build a table) or a pianist (to play the piano), practical wisdom is a moral skill, rather than an artistic or technical one. We know what to do and the reasons behind our decisions.
Life, for Aristotle, is a constant stream of choices. It can be when choosing to be loyal to a friend, or how to be just, or how to cope with risk, or when and how to be angry—and making the right choices demanded by wisdom. Practical wisdom formed a significant part of his thinking on ethics. Moreover, it is still hugely influential on our thinking today.

Why Do You Need Practical Wisdom?

Today, much of our society is in desperate need of practical wisdom. Societies are increasingly complex and bureaucratic. Rather than focusing on what we can do ourselves, we tend to follow rules and go through life unequipped. However, as Aristotle suggested, we need wisdom when making choices. Should I take that job? Am I with the right person? Etc.
In the real world, nobody can tell you how to live your personal life. You can follow societal rules or laws set by governments, but these are not the best guides. When it comes down to it, you have to decide. As the decisions you make can have such profound consequences on your happiness and wellbeing, developing the guiding compass of practical wisdom is a must.
The wisdom to answer questions such as these and to live the right way is a practical process, not a theoretical one. It is reliant on our capacity to perceive a situation and to consider what the appropriate response is. We need to know when to act, when to feel, when to desire, and in what ways.
It is not a selfish pursuit. Developing this type of wisdom can be very beneficial to friends and family around you. You’re likely to be a more understanding person, who makes wiser decisions, and is generally nice to be around.
If you struggle with making decisions and are unsure of the ‘right choice’, developing practical wisdom can give you some guidance. It can also help you tap into an inner understanding, often referred to as intuition.

Intuition

Intuition is nonconscious thinking. Essentially, the brain on autopilot. Viewed by some as being a mysterious process, intuition and its relationship with practical wisdom are gaining increased interest. Our ‘intuitions’ are innate opinions. Whilst some are common-sense, some are sophisticated. Others are particular, general, more firmly held, or some less.
In his study, Robin Hogarth explores the basis for intuition in psychology. It is a normal and important component of thought that has its roots in the processes of tacit learning. It incorporates an appreciation of environment, attention, experience, and expertise. Understanding our intuition is a step on the way to being able to develop practical wisdom.
How to Develop Practical Wisdom?
In their exploration into the topic, Barry Schwartz and Kenneth Sharpe look at the history of practical wisdom and it’s application today. They offer 6 rules to follow to develop practical wisdom:
  1. Fully understand the proper goals of the activity you are engaged in.

    To help yourself or others, it is important to do the right thing to reach these goals.
  2. Improvize.

    To be able to adapt to a given situation and be aware of a changing environment in which strategies may need to change.
  3. Be perceptive, especially of the attitudes of others.

    Remember that social norms may change from context to context. You also need to be aware of these changes to change your behavior.
  4. Build up experience.

    Practical wisdom is something that can be learned and developed. Like all skills, practice and repetition are key to its development. In your daily life, listen to others, be caring, and be loyal. Behave with honesty and a sense of justice.
  5. Be empathetic and understand others’ perspectives.

    Everyone thinks differently and this affects how we behave. Putting yourself in the shoes of another person allows you to understand why they may be acting in a certain way.
  6. Combine reason and emotion.

    This will allow you to understand what others’ emotional signals mean and respond in a reasoned way. It is an educated emotional response to situations.
By undertaking these steps you can start on your journey to develop practical wisdom. Live life every day with consciousness and awareness of what is going around you. The key is experience.
Always try to experience life with your eyes open. Life itself is to be practiced and, with practical wisdom, you can do so in an enriching and thoughtful way.


 

 

Lottie Miles

 




 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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All articles are of the respective authors or publishers responsibility. 
 


 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 
 

 

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publicado por achama às 20:56
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Domingo, 3 de Maio de 2020

8 Types of Listening and How to Recognize Each

8 Types of Listening and How to Recognize Each

Jamie Logie, B. Sc.

learning-mind.com

May 2nd, 2020 .

 

 

 

Just as there are many forms of communication, there are different types of listening, and it’s important to recognize each of them.
When we talk about people who are good communicators, it’s mainly that they are good listeners. The ability to actively listen to another person is one of the most valuable traits a person can have. Nothing is more frustrating for a person trying to share how they are feeling than to constantly be interrupted. The person who has the ability to listen is the person who can be most helpful.
Good listeners are empathetic, compassionate, and caring, and this goes a long way with building connections to others. But the fact is, there are several types of listening, and each is important in its own way. This article will look at 8 different listening types and how to recognize them.

How Are the Different Types of Listening Defined?

Most of this work goes back a few decades to the works of Andrew D. Wolvin and Carolyn Coakley. The best way to picture these ideas is with the symbol of a tree. Some forms of listening are more foundational while some are higher-level styles of learning. The base of the tree will make up the foundational type of listening, and that’s where we’ll start.

Basic Types of Listening

1. Discriminative Listening

This is a basic type of listening. It’s the type that simply determines what the sound you are listening to is. When you’re hearing various sounds and trying to decipher what a specific sound is, that’s discriminate listening. We use this type of listening all the time, but often it’s to show if what we are hearing is familiar or not. If you’re out in a crowded place and hear someone talking in a different language, you recognize it as language but aren’t yet sure if it’s familiar to you.
Another great example of why discriminative listening is important is it helps you to focus on a specific sound while dismissing other ones. This is handy if you’re driving a car full of loud people but hear a bad noise coming from the engine. This form of listening allows you to zero in on specific sounds.
So you now know what you’re listening to, what is the next type?

2. Comprehensive Listening

Comprehensive listening would be higher up on the trunk if we are using our tree example. This is a higher order of listening than discriminative listening. With listening of this type, we are now listening so we may understand. You would most often use this type of listening when you are in a classroom or lecture and you are trying to understand the message that someone is relaying to you.
This is another basic form of listening, and the goal of it is to simply understand. You can see how – even though these first two are simple – there is a big jump between discriminative and comprehensive listening. This is the difference between paying attention and really hearing what a person is saying to you instead of hearing them – but tuning them out. It can be quite easy to recognize when someone is actively listening to you compared to their eyes being glazed over, not taking anything in.

Higher Types of Listening

So with the root forms understood now, we move into the higher types of listening, and that brings us to:

3. Appreciative Listening

This is where you’re listening deeper and appreciate the sounds, and the best example of this is with music. There is a difference between having music on as background noise and truly experiencing the sounds you are hearing. This is why we can get real enjoyment from music, but it happens best when you focus on it. It can be any style, the main thing is the appreciation you have for it and what resonates with you. This could be classical music or death metal, the point is that it connects with you and you feel it. You hear the changes in sounds, instruments, and movements being used as opposed to it just sounding like a bunch of noise.
This is a valuable form of listening as it allows for joy in your life. Music can lift the soul and spirit, and this acts as a reward for appreciative listening.

4. Therapeutic Listening

Conversational Skills introvert
We are continuing to move higher up the tree. This also may be one of the most valuable forms of listening – especially when it pertains to helping others. With therapeutic listening, we are listening intending to help someone. This is one of the types of listening to help someone work through an issue, deal with a problem, and work through different emotions. The best way to look at this is as a genuine therapy session. This is all about empathy and understanding of what another person is going through.
This listening is not just limited to therapists and friends and family helping each other, though. This is an important listening type used by managers, bosses, trainers, and even coaches to help employees learn and develop. As mentioned, it’s easy to recognize this way of listening as the other person is working with you and trying to help.

5. Critical Listening

Now we are getting up to the higher levels of listening and to the very top of the tree. This ends up being a very important style of listening as it helps you to wade through vast amounts of information. An easy way to think of critical listening is when it comes to things like politics, research, science, or different type of reports. We can recognize critical listening when you ask questions like:
  • Is this valid?
  • Are they making a genuine argument?
  • Are they using information that makes sense?
  • Am I getting to hear both sides of the story?
  • Am I getting presented with all the facts?
This form of listening is more than just understanding but is about analyzing the message we are hearing. This is important to be able to protect ourselves from false or harmful information. Critical listening is about hearing arguments, thoughts, and ideas, but analyzing all the information.

Negative Types of Listening

These are the 5 main types of listening, but there are a few more worth looking at:

6. Passive Listening

Most people aren’t sure if they are a good or bad listener, but it’s easy to tell with passive listening. A passive listener just does not have the ability to listen. They seem disinterested, constantly interrupt, or don’t keep eye contact when engaging with you. They may constantly check their phone or look to be distracted in any way.

7. Competitive Listeners

Whereas the passive listener isn’t good at listening, competitive listening may be worse. Listening of this type is definitely active listening, but only so they may jump in with their own take. Whatever you say, they try to one-up it. You’ve probably encountered this many times when telling a story and the other person brings in their own anecdotes and experiences trying to outdo you.

8. Combative Listening

This is like the competitive listener, but this time, they’re just looking for some form of confrontation. They want to argue just for the sake of arguing. They are actively listening to what you have to say, but only to challenge and combat you on it. They would rather disagree than hear you and understand what you’re trying to say.

Final Thoughts

Listening is an invaluable skill. The best communicators turn out to be that way because they are the best listeners. It turns out that listening is not as simple as it seems and there are many types of listening. By looking through this list, you can see the many types, what purpose they serve, and how to recognize them.
The goal is to be able to hear and understand someone, but engage when the time is right. Most people today feel misunderstood and unheard, so being a person who truly hears them can go a long way in helping and healing others.
References:
  1. https://www.researchgate.net/
  2. https://socialsci.libretexts.org/
  3. https://methods.sagepub.com/

About the Author: Jamie Logie, B.Sc.

Jamie Logie is a certified personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. He holds a bachelor of science (B.Sc.) degree in Kinesiology from the University of Western Ontario, studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".

COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 13:04
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Quinta-feira, 23 de Abril de 2020

8 Traits of a Charismatic Personality and How to Be One.

 

8 Traits of a Charismatic Personality and How to Be One.

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted April 23rd, 2020.

 
 
 
 
Having a charismatic personality means understanding the delicate balance between confidence and humility. Everyone enjoys the company of such a person.
 
One of the best traits to have is charisma. While it might not be easy to understand by many people, for those who get it, it’s invaluable. Finding a balance that clearly defines the difference between cockiness and confidence means all the difference in the world. In that balance is where you want to be in order to truly be a good individual.
 
How to recognize a charismatic personality?
 
A winning personality void of egotistical intent but filled with love and kindness is what our world needs today. We need more people filled with true charisma. But who are these people? How do we recognize the charismatic personality?
 
Revealing traits
 
1. Substance
 
True charismatic people possess substance behind their initial charm. You may meet someone who is incredibly charming and warm, but if they aren’t truly charismatic, this charm will erode into selfish motivation. With substance, there is a depth to that charm – it’s a true intention to offer your best to your fellow man.
 
2. Presence
 
To have a strong presence is not just about being in the present moment, physically. When charisma is present within you, you are able to give someone else 100% of your attention when they are conveying a message.
 
Think about it this way. How important to you is what you have to say? It’s important, isn’t it? So, one trait of charisma is being able to hear every piece of information and understanding that all of it is important to the one speaking or needing help.
 
3. Good eye contact
 
A charismatic personality exudes confidence. This confidence often shows through good eye contact. When you make eye contact during presentations or even when simply meeting someone new, you help them focus on what you’re saying, thus understanding and retaining more information.
 
You will know that someone has charisma when they hold good eye contact without making situations uncomfortable.
 
4. Listening skills
 
Many times, in a conversation, one person holds the spotlight. Although it can be rather selfish, most people don’t realize they’re hogging all the attention. Instead of listening to someone speak, most people are already planning their next words.
 
A good healthy conversation, however, involves paying attention to what each other says, I mean really paying full attention. Charismatic people do this – they actually listen to what you’re saying. They are invaluable friends. They even listen more than they speak in all conversations.
 
5. Humility
 
Being humble is hard to some, but to charismatic people, it seems to come naturally. Humility is a well-known trait of selflessness, offering the best to others even when having to sacrifice themselves for others.
 
In fact, the most charismatic types of personalities have little to no arrogance at all. Humility will be easy to recognize when meeting charismatic people. Just watch for their constant effort to help and their amazing ability to accept when they are wrong.
 
6. Maturity
 
The person with charisma is mature. They place wisdom at a higher standard than knowledge itself. While so many of us possess intellect, few really have the ability to utilize logic and life experience like the charismatic personality.
 
True maturity shows through the charismatic person’s ability to make wise decisions, accept responsibility, and be a good influence on others struggling to be better versions of themselves. They will often be recognized as people wise beyond their physical age.
 
7. Power
 
Some personalities display kindness and beauty, while this particular personality displays power too. Now, mind you, this power I speak of is not a selfish type of power. It’s more like having an incredible influence over those in high positions.
 
But do charismatic people use this power for self-gain? Not usually, they mostly have this power unknowingly or they don’t try to use it. It’s more like something that just resides within that gets noticed and utilized. Using power for yourself and being a powerful influence are completely different things. True power shows through charisma.
 
8. Warm
 
A personality with charisma is a warm personality. This means they are approachable. Unlike other personalities where you feel nervous, the person with charisma makes you feel accepted, genuinely cared for, and intelligent. They never downplay your knowledge by showing off their own.
 
It’s as if they come towards you with open arms, welcoming everything you have to say. This warmth cannot be copied by those who aren’t charismatic people. It is a rare trait.
 
If you want to be more charismatic, here’s what you do:
 
1. Listen better
 
As I stated above, charismatic personalities truly listen during communication. If you want to be more like this, you have to practice listening more and speaking less. No, it’s not easy at all.
 
I have a horrible problem with just listening to what others have to say without constantly formulating my own words during their speaking. I also get overly excited about my own life and experiences that I often eclipse others when conversating. This is really bad, and yes, I must improve.
 
This is true with most people. We must learn to listen better if we want to improve our own charisma.
 
2. Take less/give more
 
Do not be selfish. Spend more of your time helping and giving to others, and less time taking things you believe you deserve. To physically be more charismatic, maybe you can help with a charity or do things for your neighbors.
 
It takes practice moving more into a selfless nature considering the world is always wanting us to take for ourselves in order to survive. So giving is a huge way of improving charismatic aspects of your personality.
 
3. Embrace change
 
Change isn’t easy, but to be more charismatic, you have to learn how to adapt to whatever is happening around you. At first, learn how to accept the ideas and opinions of others instead of judging their beliefs. Everyone is an individual and deserves the same respect, even when you don’t agree with them.
 
Accept a change of thought, a change of environment if necessary, and even a change in your personal life. People with positive power can do this.
 
4. Try to stay positive
 
While it’s not possible to be positive every moment of your life, striving for a positive attitude and good news when you can is always best. What this does for others is it makes them feel better about themselves. It makes them feel like there is hope in the world when they are disappointed. Work on your positive feelings and this will transform the way you and others think.
 
Becoming a charismatic person
 
Basically, I believe we should make a decision to move toward building a more charismatic personality. Why? Well, because being a good influence, truly listening and being kind never hurt anyone. In fact, this sort of behavior can change someone’s life for the better, and in huge ways. I encourage you to practice charismatic behavior and learn more about yourself in the process.
 
How are you improving your self today? Share any ideas if you want.
 
References:

 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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Domingo, 19 de Abril de 2020

When Everything Is Falling Apart, Remember 6 Sobering Truths.

When Everything Is Falling Apart, Remember 6 Sobering Truths.

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

April 18th, 2020

 

Never have our lives been so unusual. We are truly living in unprecedented times and honestly, it feels a little like everything is falling apart. We’ve lost our jobs, our incomes, and our security. Our friends and family are being forced to stay away. Nothing feels all that great right now.
Still, inside the darkness, there is light. When everything is falling apart, there are still things that should bring you back to reality. It’s not misguided positivity, it’s sobering truths that we should hold close when our hardship starts to feel like too much to handle.

6 Things to Remember When Everything Is Falling Apart

1. Pain Is Temporary

I think it’s fair to say that we’ve all been through something difficult in our lives. I doubt there are many among us who have lived perfect, easy lives. We’ve all faced hardship before, and we all know that pain is temporary.
When everything is falling apart, it can be easy to give up and assume things will be this way forever. In these surreal times of a global pandemic, it seems like we’ve got no evidence to fall back on, but we do. Every hard phase has come to an end eventually.
Every time you thought life would never get better, it did. When you find yourself spiraling, as we all do at times, bring yourself back with this one sobering truth – pain doesn’t last forever.

2. Worrying Doesn’t Solve Anything

Worrying has been proven time and time again to be terrible for your health. It increases your risk of countless illnesses, including heart conditions, cancer, and stroke. It’s also bad for your immune system, and in times like these when we’re all trying to be as healthy as possible, worrying will never help.
Letting your mind run free with fear won’t fix the current crisis or any others. You can’t worry the world better. No amount of “planning” or “understanding”, as we anxious folk convince ourselves we’re doing, will make a dangerous virus go away any sooner or be any less deadly.
Instead of dwelling on the idea that everything is falling apart, focus on what you can do to keep it together. You could consider donating to charities, or volunteering. Remember that by staying home, you are helping. You don’t need to worry if you’re already you’re doing exactly what needs to be done to fix the world.

3. Without Hard Times, We Don’t Appreciate the Good Times

We might be experiencing an extreme example right now, but it’s working. Never have I been more grateful for the people I love, and the little moments of joy we get each day. I also know I’ll be more appreciative of the freedom and moments of social non-distancing we get when all of this is over.
If you live a totally undisturbed life, you might not feel much appreciation for the best times, because they aren’t much different from the worst. Now, when it seems that everything is falling apart, we’re truly grateful for what we still have, and what we can’t wait to get back.
As the saying goes, you only know what you’ve got when it’s gone.

4. Slow and Steady Wins the Race

No matter how much we wish it, we can’t speed this one along. At times, this process feels incredibly slow. We don’t have an end date in sight, and we all know how slowly time passes when we’re stuck at home.
If you feel that everything is falling apart, your first instinct is to fix it as soon as possible. We want the problem solved and we don’t care how we get there. But we don’t get that choice right now. This isn’t something we can rush through. In fact, the more we try to rush this by forcing normality before it’s time, the longer we’ll have to wait.
If we have no choice but to wait it out, then there’s no better time to practice patience. We get wrapped up in modern life so often that we rarely have to wait for anything. Take this opportunity to learn a skill most of us, myself included, don’t have. The world might be a little nicer if we all emerge from this with more patience.

5. Kindness Doesn’t Cost A Thing

In this time of darkness, when it seems that everything is falling apart, there is one thing always left – kindness. We are suffering now, globally. There’s no skirting around it, global pandemics really suck. We feel as though we’ve lost everything, but we haven’t. We haven’t lost each other.
Kindness keeps us moving, gives us strength and brings us closer. Being nice to others in this difficult time makes a huge difference. During your moments outside, exchange a smile with a fellow exerciser. Greet neighbors when you pass them (at a distance). You’d be surprised how much these minor interactions could change someone’s day. Be gentle and respectful of others, especially those who are still having to work.
The kinder you are on the outside, the kinder you’ll be to yourself too. Nothing is better for your self-esteem than making others happy.

6. Challenges Help Us Grow

Unprecedented times teach us things we would never have had the opportunity to learn before. We may have gone our whole lives never learning how to entertain ourselves. We could never have had this time to learn new hobbies, or really get to know ourselves.
They say you grow through what you go through, and that couldn’t be truer now. I like to think that when this whole thing is over, we’ll all emerge like butterflies. Harrier, less manicured butterflies, but butterflies nonetheless.
Right now, by doing absolutely nothing, you’re developing skills you could have lived your entire life without. Of course, we’re growing patience, and we’re also growing resilience. In the future, when life inevitably gets chaotic again (though hopefully not in the same way) you’ll be ready to face it head-on, knowing you’ve faced serious hardship already. The minor troubles that might have set off a spiral before won’t phase us anymore.
We’ve been learning to be gentle with ourselves and others. We’ve learned to be happy with the little victories and accepting of the losses. Awful things are happening all over the world, and as everything feels like it’s falling apart, we’re developing strength like never before.

After All, Everything Isn’t Falling Apart

Before you let your thoughts of hopelessness drag you down, remember that some important facts of life, the sobering truths, will never change. Everything isn’t falling apart, no matter how close it might feel. Gratitude is what will hold us together.
I know it sounds mad, but enjoy this time. Embrace the people around you, whether it’s family or friends at home, or neighbors you pass on a daily walk. Embrace the time for yourself, to get to know you. This will end and we will get back to normal, and maybe we’ll all be better people when we do, but until then remember things aren’t always as broken as they seem.
 
 
 
 

 

Becky Storey
 

 




 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 01:19
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Quinta-feira, 16 de Abril de 2020

How Defensive Pessimism Can Help You Cope with Anxiety

 

How Defensive Pessimism Can Help You Cope with Anxiety

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted April 15th, 2020.

 
 
 

 

Stop telling people that everything is going to be fine. Sometimes it isn’t, and this is where defensive pessimism helps us cope with that fact.
Not everything in the world goes according to plan. Some things go terribly wrong. For optimists, this can be devastating. You see, optimistic people, while their happiness is usually pretty healthy, sometimes do not account for what can go wrong. With the use of defensive pessimism, individuals can accept bad outcomes.
How does defensive pessimism work?
When I speak of a defensive type of pessimism, I don’t mean you’re getting offended and being negative. No, I’m talking about using your thoughts to plan a defense against the pain of bad outcomes.
It’s like that old saying goes, ‘plan for the worst, but hope for the best’. You see, that’s what your defense is all about. When it comes to anxiety, being defensively pessimistic is actually much better than trying to be optimistic all the time.

How to use defensive pessimism to calm your anxieties:

1. Utilizing strategy

While positive thinking helps you stay upbeat and hopeful, defensive pessimism works those strategy muscles. When you play chess, you don’t think one move ahead, but three, four or even five moves…strategy.
Some even think further ahead than that. Strategies in pessimism help us to understand that we do need to appreciate the now, but we can also plan ahead in case our opposition, the world, throws us a surprise.

2. Preparations expert

When you use pessimism to your advantage instead of letting it become overwhelming, you learn how to make logical preparations. It’s kind of like being realistic about life and knowing what tools to have for both good and bad outcomes.
This doesn’t just apply to surprises, it can apply to anything negative that plagues you or could become a problem. If you are prepared, negative issues will only be a small bump in the road. A prime example lies in retaining what’s called “Plan B”. You’ve heard me talk about it a few times, I believe.

3. Past experiences drive intellect

A defensive pessimist is often pushed by negative past experiences. These traumatic events cause many problems for them later in life, but it also grows a strong human being. These individuals rarely use optimistic strategies to combat life’s problems. They understand that “Just stay positive” doesn’t solve problems, and doesn’t keep them away.
Instead, they think of all the possible scenarios of most any given situation, just short of letting it overtake them. They know when to stop, and keep stress at bay, replacing that worry with those strategic plans that I mentioned above.
4. Using all your abilities
When you are defensively pessimistic, you tend to utilize hidden abilities. Optimists may never use these abilities because they tend to ward of concern and worry completely, depending on everything going the way it’s supposed to.
When you properly use your defenses however, you use all the abilities you’ve earned in life, plus the gifts you were born with to make sure you have that safety net. When things go south, you have a basket full of options to choose from. Yes, you’re prepared, and having many powerful abilities just adds even more to your preparations for “Plan B”.

5. Controls and tames anxiety

So, we come to the main reason why defensive pessimism is also a good mindset. When you have anxiety, and everyone is trying to make you stay positive, your levels of panic actually rise. This happens due to the pressure of thinking all good thoughts. It leaves you unprepared for what could happen. While it might not be all that good to constantly dwell on bad things, it’s also not good to assume everything will be rainbows and butterflies all the time.
Being defensive allows you to work through scenarios in your head and gives you the chance to tame your anxiety by coming up with solutions you may possibly need later. Controlling anxiety means staying in control of your life.
Optimism actually doesn’t give you all that much control at all. It just means “Stay happy, believe in good things, and never think the worst”. While this sounds all good and wonderful, it can be extremely dangerous to some.

Balancing between pessimism and optimism

I’ve been pessimistic many times in life, even to the point of being too dark. I have tried being optimistic, and that worked for a while, but only a while. So, defensive pessimism has actually become a way of life for me.
I do prepare for the worst and hope for the best, most of the time. While I don’t know the whole truth about how healthy this is, I believe it can’t be any worse than turning a blind eye to problems and assuming life will always turn out great. I would be fooling you and me both.
I do, however, think defensive pessimism is worth a try. Planning for the pitfalls of the future can really allow you to exercise strategy, gathering preparations and bracing for negative impacts. Either way, striking a good balance between dark and light in this manner is well worth a try.
What do you think?
References:
  1. https://sites.psu.edu
  2. https://health.usnews.com

 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 00:55
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Why Emotional Awareness Is Important and How to Build It

Why Emotional Awareness Is Important and How to Build It

Jamie Logie, B. Sc.

learning-mind.com

April 15, 2020 .

 
emotional awareness build.

 

 

Emotional awareness – or emotional intelligence – will not only connect you better to others but also to yourself.
The ability to be aware of the emotions of others can go a long way in creating better connections. Being able to empathize with another person is at the cornerstone of building real intimacy and connection. The better that you can understand emotional awareness, the better you will then be at understanding and helping others.
Emotional awareness is not just an outward trait but ultimately helps you to get a better understanding of yourself. This article will look at why emotional awareness is important and how to build it.

What Is Emotional Awareness?

We face many problems each day. Many of these problems are internal, and many are based on the relationships we have with others. Being an emotionally aware person allows us to confront the many problems with ourselves – and our relationships – with patience, insight, and imagination.
This is all about becoming more awareMore aware of your emotions, more aware of the emotions of others, and more aware of how to control all these emotions.
This awareness is also considered a form of intelligence. We usually associated intelligence with cognitive function and IQ, but intelligence is also connected to emotion. Intelligence or awareness gives us the ability to successfully navigate around certain challenges. In this case, it’s how you can navigate around various emotional situations.

Why Is Emotional Awareness Important?

Building your emotional awareness will have many positive effects on all aspects of your life. It allows you to lower your levels of social anxiety and makes public situations more bearable. You will develop a higher level of self-esteem – which has a great spillover effect on things like career and success.
Emotional awareness is also important to help control and lower levels of depression. And it creates better relationships with family, friends, and those you spend your time with.
Those with a lack of emotional intelligence find life to be extremely frustrating. They have no control over their feelings and actions, lash out at others, push people away, and feel constant anxiety. We can chalk up most broken relationships to a lack of emotional awareness and intelligence.
It helps to look at a lack of emotional intelligence the same way we would with cognitive intelligence. They both create profound repercussions, but with a lack of emotional intelligence; the effect can be much more long-lasting.
Benefits of Having Emotional Awareness
Those with a strong sense of emotional awareness can identify struggles and pain within other people. They can tap in and see that even though someone appears to be acting fine, deep down they are hurting. They have an intrinsic ability to identify what may cause a person to act a certain way.
Those with no emotional intelligence may easily dismiss an angry person, but the emotionally aware individual will see what may be causing this anger behind the scenes. They can identify sorrow that’s being masked by anger, humor, or denial.
It’s these types of people that make the best healers, teachers, leaders, and mentors. They draw others into them and make everyone around them better.

So, with this in mind, how can you build and develop your own emotional awareness? Let’s look at a few ways…

1. Examine Past Events

Look back on any past events that created certain emotions in you. They may have made you sad, jubilant, angry, frustrated, or hopeless. The important thing here is to look at why this event caused a specific emotional response. What or who caused this event? How was the event different than you expected? Could the consequences of the event have been avoided?
This is an important step for building emotional awareness as it helps you to learn what triggers specific emotions in you.

2. The Power of the Pause

Giving a short pause when speaking helps to give your brain a bit of a breather. Instead of just rambling on constantly, giving a brief pause gives you some space. This helps us to not instantly react, but dwell for a moment and consider the different options.
The idea is to create a pause in your own mind and thinking when confronted with an emotion. What usually happens is we experience a feeling and then want to react right away whether it be anger, sadness, or even a physical lashing out. When you focus on taking a pause after experiencing an emotion, you can better control your response.
The emotionally aware person doesn’t stop themselves from feeling an emotion but pauses to simply observe it. Observation is a strong thing and allows you to become better in tune with yourself and in better control of your feelings.
It’s important to remember that emotions change and they are in constant motion. When you learn to observe, and watch your feelings from the perspective of an outsider, the more you will improve your emotional awareness. This is why the pause is so powerful.

3.  Increase Your Vocabulary

If you’ve ever seen a frustrated child, you know that a big part of it is because they cannot articulate and verbalize what they are feeling. The same thing happens with those with low emotional awareness.
When you can increase your emotional vocabulary, you become better equipped to express yourself and your feelings. The average person’s emotional vocabulary revolves around simple things like mad, sad, happy, angry, etc.
Mad or angry is often a secondary result of things like frustration, disappointment, or even loss. Being unable to articulate how you truly feel does not create emotional awareness. Identifying a more special emotional vocabulary is an easy way to increase your emotional intelligence.
Here is a progression of a simple word that conveys an emotion but where it can be narrowed down to the true feeling:
  • sad –> despair –> powerless
  • happy –> proud –> confident
Start to include some of these words to better express yourself, and to help others in verbalizing how they feel:
  • frustrated
  • irritable
  • downtrodden
  • anxious
  • disillusioned
  • devastated
  • hesitant
  • fulfilled
  • hopeful
The more specific your word choice, the better you are at narrowing down how you truly feel. This is genuine emotional awareness.

Final Thoughts

Emotional awareness doesn’t happen overnight. To some people, it comes quite naturally, but others may have to work on it for a while. The main thing is there are some simple tips you can use to build it, and it can always grow and improve.
The better your emotional awareness is, the more emotional strength you can develop. This emotional strength will then allow you to help, inspire, and connect with others.
References:
  1. https://www.extension.harvard.edu
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  3. http://ei.yale.edu
 

About the Author: Jamie Logie, B.Sc.

Jamie Logie is a certified personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. He holds a bachelor of science (B.Sc.) degree in Kinesiology from the University of Western Ontario, studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".

COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 00:44
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Terça-feira, 14 de Abril de 2020

Feeling Trapped in Life? 13 Ways to Get Unstuck

 

Feeling Trapped in Life? 

13 Ways to Get Unstuck

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted April 13th, 2020.

 
 
 

 

It’s not always easy shaking the mindset of feeling trapped. You must learn how to free yourself from the stuck places in life and in your mind.

What Is Feeling Trapped in Life Like?

Have you ever felt stuck? It’s a strange feeling that comes when life seems to repeat itself over and over. If you’ve ever seen the movie Groundhog Day, you understand what feeling stuck is like, and how intolerable repeating the same things can be. And it’s not just about being stuck in life, actually.
It’s better represented by the terms, “feeling trapped” because, honestly, people feel trapped like they’re living in a cage of existence. They are going through the motions like a mechanical being.
You might not initially notice when you’re feeling the trapped sensations. At first, you may think that you’re just afraid of change. And really, that is a part of it – fear makes us afraid of change, and thus, fear keeps us trapped. But we must learn how to connect these emotions in order to free ourselves from them.
You can stop this feeling of being stuck by practicing something different. It sounds like I want you to embrace change, doesn’t it? Well, maybe I do. In the meantime, read on.

How to Get Unstuck in Life?

1. Stop living in the past

I think this is the hardest thing for me to do. I sometimes sit around and think about times when my children were small, when my parents were alive, and when I was back in grade school. While I have many bad memories, I also have many good ones as well.
The truth is the good memories tend to keep me stuck even more than the bad ones. I catch myself wishing I could go back to what I think was a simpler time. The thoughts and emotions are deep, but they are keeping me stuck. Practicing the art of not dwelling on the past is the best thing to do in this case, and I am working on that as I go along. Hey, liberation doesn’t always feel good at first.

2. Learn something new

Last summer, I learned, hands-on, how to properly change a tire. Someone told me how to do it, but I never had the opportunity to complete the entire process on my own. Yeah, I guess some of you are laughing at me, but it’s true. I learned how to do something new, and with that, I felt a wonderful sense of pride in my accomplishments.
After that, I wanted to learn how to do even more things. I then took a lawnmower carburetor apart, cleaned the parts and put it back together with the help of YouTube. These things definitely helped me feel a bit liberated for the remainder of the summer months. So, go try something new and get unstuck. Just be careful when you do.

3. Change your scenery

Change your scenery when feeling trapped in life
 
Okay, so right now you might not be able to go on many trips or vacations, but later on, you will. If you get the chance to afford it, take a trip somewhere when all this turmoil is over. Until then, get out of one room of your home, the one which you frequent the most often, and try hanging out somewhere else in your home. It will feel as though you’ve taken a trip without going anywhere.
Do all your work, past times, reading, and napping in this different location. Just change your surroundings for a bit so you will not go crazy feeling trapped.

4. Change your exercise routine

Are you used to going on walks or jogging? Are you accustomed to doing aerobic exercises in your living room? Well, why not change up your fitness routine for a while and make it interesting. If you have a bike, and a good trail nearby, maybe now is the time to take a short bike ride to get your blood pumping. If winter and storms have ravaged your yard, then maybe a bit of yard work will reward you the exercise you need.
There are many ways to stay fit and keep you from getting bored by doing so. When we get bored with the things we do, we surely start feeling trapped again. When we keep moving, we understand that we are already free.

5. Finish some incomplete goals

Do you remember those scrapbooks you wanted to finish? Do you remember the book you never finished writing? What about completing that table you started building several months ago?
If you’re staying at home and feeling trapped, there are probably many things you haven’t completed from the past. Find those procrastinated projects and finish them now. When finishing those tasks, you will feel extraordinary freedom like never before.

6. The vision board

Some people aren’t familiar with the vision board. Well, it’s something I learned about when I was in sales. A vision board is exactly what its name says – it’s a board with images. But more than that, it’s a collage of pictures representing all the things you want out of life. It’s the dreams, goals, and aspirations that you have yet to reach.
All it takes is finding the right size bulletin-type board and cutting out pictures from magazines and such which remind you of your dreams in life. Now, don’t let these pictures depress you. No, let them inspire you to work toward what you want. Hang the board somewhere you see often so you can remember your priorities.

7. Try waking up earlier

You might not be a morning person, but maybe you should give this a try anyway. If you’re at home working right now, you are probably sleeping in a bit more than usual. That might not be the best thing for you. Even if you are going to work, then maybe you should get up a bit earlier than usual as well.
Waking up earlier gives you a few extra hours in your day, warding off the regret of getting up too late and starting slow. In a way, it’s psychological. The earlier you wake, it feels as if you have a better chance of a good day, feeling liberated and definitely not feeling trapped.

8. Business on the side

If you have the time and you have a few unused skills, then you should consider a small business venture on the side.
Let me off an example: I grow cucumbers every summer, and I make at least 30-40 jars of pickles from these. I make them for myself, but just this past summer, a few people tasted them and wanted to buy a jar, and so I sold a few of them. I was surprised when they wanted to buy more later on. Thus, I have been tempted to open up to make a side hustle out of this experience. I also make jams and relish, so I could even add a bit of variety to this side job.
This can be done in many areas of expertise. If you find that you’re good at something which can be monetized, then maybe this is what you need to get untrapped. The feeling you get when someone appreciates your work, or your creativity is a liberating feeling.
You can sell commissioned artwork, baked goods, or you can even sell your time by offering housekeeping services. I also did this for a while a few years ago. I’m telling you, it does break the monotony.

9. Make small changes

The incentives you use to become untrapped are changes, and change is so hard sometimes. The good news is that your changes don’t have to be huge. In fact, it’s best if you make small changes at first in order to get used to your new mindset.
For instance, you can start by changing your daily routine just a bit. Instead of waking up and immediately checking the news, you can go for a walk to help wake you up for the day. Then you can return to your coffee or tea, your news updates, and then to a healthy breakfast. Just this small change will invigorate you and help liberate you from feeling trapped in life.

10. Adjust your playlist

 
music for anxiety
Speaking of changes, one thing you can do is redo your playlist. Maybe you have a nice arrangement of diverse music on your phone, iPod, or other listening devices, and these songs have worked great for you and your motivation in the past.
If you’re feeling stuck, however, it may be time to change some of your musical selections, mix it up and bit, and even consider listening to songs you wouldn’t have before. Changing your playlist and then listening to the product of your changes tends to send a jolt of renewed energy throughout your senses. I’ve done this and it really works.

11. Try keeping a planner

Okay, so I will be honest with you about this one, I have used a planner many times to help me remember things, and also to keep me motivated, thus escaping my prison of disappointments. It works as long as you keep doing it. My problem was always slacking off with jotting down appointments and plans, and then at times, simply forgetting what the planner that I was using to remember things… if that makes sense.
But, the only way to keep using your planner is to constantly pick one back up and try again. It is hard sometimes to remember your planner, your journal, or whatever works for jotting down important things or your goals, but it still works when you do it.
So, let’s try this again, and keep another planner to organize your life. After all, your daily organization does not enslave you, it actually frees you from a lot of worry and frustration.

12. Change your appearance

Depending on where you can go or what you can do, you can choose to change your appearance in some way. Even if you can’t leave home, you can give yourself a haircut… well, maybe. I guess this depends on whether you have the slightest clue of how to do this. If not, maybe a family member does and will offer to help you with that.
You can dye your hair if you have the materials you need. If you can’t do either one, you can style your hair differently, wear clothes you usually don’t wear, or you can try a new make-up style.
However, you manage to do this, it will help you feel a little less trapped in life. At least you will see your freedom to control how you want to look, and that’s important. Actually having control over your appearance is an underrated ability. Try it.

13. Find the reason

When you’re feeling stuck in life, there is always a reason. The unfortunate part about that is you don’t always recognize the root of the problem. Before you can improve your life in any other way, you need to find out what has you so trapped. It could be a person or a place, but either way, this is the key to understanding which way you should go.
Feeling Trapped? Then Do Something about It!
status quo bias feeling trapped
That’s right! I just told you to get up and get yourself going. Change some habits, eat better and go outside too. There are so many ways to break the monotony of feeling like you’re trapped in life. Many days, it might even be hard to get out of bed, so motivation is key.
And another thing, never neglect your gifts and talents. These often help you change your life faster than just making simple decisions on trivial things. You can be aggressive at times when seeking change and liberation.
One thing is for sure, feeling trapped is just fear, and getting free is about faith in the little changes and improvements in your life. Try something that you didn’t do yesterday. This is how you get started on feeling free in life. It also means stepping out on bravery you never knew you had. Your courage is there, you just have to recognize how it feels.
Thank you for reading, guys!

 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 23:36
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Quinta-feira, 9 de Abril de 2020

Why You Are Feeling Sorry for Yourself and How to Stop

 

Why You Are Feeling Sorry for Yourself and How to Stop

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted April 8th, 2020.

 
 
 

 

You’ve probably moped around feeling sorry for yourself before. There are ways to stop this and cultivate a more positive attitude.
Yes, I am familiar with self-pity, and I bet you are too. But feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t get you far in life. It robs you of the time you can use to be productive and change things. No, the world isn’t fair, and bad things happen sometimes, but mulling around in self-negativity doesn’t help.
Are you feeling sorry for yourself?
Quick, take your mental temperature. Are you wallowing in self-pity? There are ways to tell if you are. If you’ve lost all passion for the things you love or talk constantly about your misfortune, you might be feeling sorry for your life and yourself. Would you like to know how to stop doing this? I thought you would.

How to stop the train of pity?

1. Accept the pity

I know this might sound counteractive, but just listen. It is okay to feel sorry for yourself for a little while. I know I might be going a little against the title in this post, but you will understand if you read on. What’s most concerning, is staying in self-pity for too long.
So, allow yourself to feel those negative feelings, every single emotion, but then agree to let them go after a certain period of time. Just don’t hold onto negativity for too long. Letting self-pity go will help you eventually feel less and less sorry for yourself in time.

2. Help someone

Helping other people always gets us out of our own head and into the concerns of friends, family, and even some strangers. The more you get out of your head, the better the perspective on what’s happening in your life that hurts. Of course, you should tackle your problems after helping someone else. Keep those things separated.
For example: Help someone move, listen to someone else’s problems or offer to babysit. Trust me, all these things will make you stop thinking negatively about yourself so much. You will see what other people are going through. Plus, it’s just right to help others anyway.

3. Change your focus

No matter what’s happened in your life to make you feel sorry for yourself, there are many things good about you. There are things that people see in you that you may not even see in yourself. However, if you focus on things that don’t revolve around self-pity, you may be able to grow a more positive outlook.
Try focusing on what you have instead of what you don’t have. So, you might not own a house, but you rent a decent one that keeps you safe and warm. You might not have a new car, but the one you have gets you where you need to go. Change how you see things, and self-pity will fade.

4. Stop giving up, and start breaking boundaries

When I say boundaries, I don’t mean the positive ones you’ve set for you and your life. I’m talking about the limitations that people place on you in society.
If you’re trying to become a doctor, and people keep telling you that you’re not cut out for it, do you back down and accept what they say? Of course, you don’t because this makes you start feeling sorry for yourself. So, if you want to be a doctor, start climbing on the bumps of criticism that everyone keeps throwing in front of you. When you refuse to give up, pity cannot survive.

5. Stay away from the 3 P’s

There are three thought processes that keep us locked in feeling pity. These mindsets are personalization, pervasiveness, and permanence.
With personalization, we tend to think that our situation is our fault alone. We blame ourselves and dwell on what we could have done differently. With pervasiveness, we assume that a traumatic event will affect all areas of our lives, and this is not true. And permanence makes us think that bad things will last forever.
These three lies must be thrown out in order to stop feeling sorry about our situations.

6. Think about your future

Yes, it’s great to live in the present, I encourage that. The thing is, you need to take a quick look at how your future could be if you continue to feel sorry for yourself. You see, self-pity is stressful, and it can take years off your life.
So, ask yourself if what you’re feeling bad about will matter in the next 5 years. If you don’t think it will, then start to let it go before it makes you sick. Remember, mental and physical health are connected and influence each other both ways. Keep your future in sight, just a bit of it, and maybe this will help you retain hope instead of pity.

So, let’s stop feeling sorry for us

When I say us, it means I sometimes suffer from the trap of self-pity myself. So, you’re not alone. It’s not all that difficult to do, especially when your life has been a series of letdowns and traumatic events. But you see, you cannot let those things define you, and when you feel sorry for yourself, that’s what happens.
I hope this helped you do a bit of positive thinking, and most of all, I hope it gave you the strength to stand in the face of adversity. I’m working on it myself, and so we’re doing it together.
I wish you well.
References:
  1. https://www.forbes.com
  2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

 

 

 
Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 01:56
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How to Cultivate Empathy and Compassion in the Coronavirus Crisis

How to Cultivate Empathy and Compassion in the Coronavirus Crisis

Lottie Miles, M.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted April 8th, 2020.

 
Empathy and Compassion coronavirus.

 


During these uncertain times, more and more of us around the world face curfews and social distancing. However, we know that too much inward focus can lead to us feeling isolated. On the other hand, studies show numerous benefits from giving social support and practicing empathy and compassion for others.
Indeed, compassion for others can reduce loneliness and stress and increase feelings of happiness and connectedness. So how can we cultivate empathy and compassion during the time of the coronavirus?
In this post, we outline 5 ways to cultivate these feelings after first looking at why empathy and compassion might be so good for us.

Why Is Compassion and Empathy for Others Beneficial?

During times of need, humans naturally seek to care for and protect others. This happens for biological and neurological reasons.
Inagaki argues that the same neural regions drawn on in maternal caregiving and providing social support to others are also used by the brain to process rewards. Moreover, they inhibit connections in the brain that trigger stress and a sense of threat. This highlights why looking after others can be so good for our mental health.
Caring for others is not just morally right but actually plays a role in the survival of the human species. For example, when caring for a baby who requires intense support at the start of life.
Similarly, the anthropologist Margaret Mead notes that the first sign of civilization in ancient cultures is demonstrated by bones that have healed. If animals break a bone, they will die before it heals. A broken bone that is healed indicates the time has been taken by someone other than the human themselves to care and nurture them back to good health.
Together, these factors might explain why Brown’s study found that providing care for others is actually more beneficial than receiving it. Their study showed that mortality was significantly reduced for those who provided instrumental support to their loved ones.
Receiving support had no effect on mortality. These examples then, serve to highlight that compassion and empathy for others is not just morally right. In fact, they show that compassion is both an evolutionary mechanism of survival and a fundamental aspect of humanity.

Cultivating Empathy and Compassion during the Coronavirus Crisis

So how can you tuck into a healthy dose of compassion and empathy? Here, we outline 5 simple ways you can stay connected with others, build community spirit, and look after one another whilst socially distancing:
1. Follow guidelines & stay home
As the article ‘Half of Uruguay’s coronavirus cases traced to a single guest at a society party’ shows, not staying home can be the least compassionate thing you could do. Therefore, staying home is one of the main ways you can show compassion for everyone during the coronavirus crisis.
One of the most effective methods of helping stop the spread of coronavirus is social distancing. Staying at home more will help you prevent hospitals from being overrun and reduce deaths. People all over the world are practicing similar measures.
So staying at home can actually be a way to feel connected with the global community too. However, it is important to remember how to avoid emotional distancing during social distancing.

2. Community organizing – at a distance

There are so many ways to virtually communicate. WhatsApp, Skype, Zoom, and other communications platforms mean we can look after people in our community in different ways. We can also do this whilst avoiding sharing the same physical space. However, if we are going to effectively care for vulnerable people in our community, it is vital to organize our efforts collectively.
Fortunately, joining a mutual-aid network can help you feel close to the community around you. Together, you will be able to more safely support the vulnerable in your community.

3. Offer to bring groceries to those socially isolating

Whilst you could do this independently of point 2, it will be better if you do them both together. Since the goal of social distancing is minimizing social contact, everyone is required to cut down shop visits.
By coordinating for multiple people at once, we can support more people in one go to get their essentials. This can keep total shop visits down to a minimum in our community whilst helping us cultivate compassion.
4. Be kind to people in vulnerable jobs
When you do have to visit the shop, be kind and grateful to those people having to work to keep things going. If there are no toilet rolls on the shelves or no canned tomatoes to pick up, this is an issue with our supply chains. This may be the fault of the business or the government but not of those on low pay serving you.
It’s unlikely to be ‘panic buyers’ either. People may have full trolleys because they are supporting their neighbors. Alternatively, they might need to cover themselves for up to 2 weeks isolating – that demands larger baskets than normal.
If you get the last bag of flour, why not try giving it away to the person who arrives to see a bare shelf instead? That act of empathy will feed you longer than that flour ever could.

5. Support laid-off workers

Supporting the unemployed could be pointing laid-off workers in the direction of support groups. It could be helping build pressure on governments to support them with reasonable sick pay or a universal basic income.
You could continue paying for services you can’t receive if you can afford it until pressure on the government has been effective. You could make up food parcels and care packages for laid-off workers and their families. Or you can support workers taking collective action. Whether that’s to stop the spread of coronavirus due to unsafe working practices or being forced to work.

Final Words

These are just 5 ways to cultivate empathy and compassion as we face the coronavirus crisis. However, you can practice it in any way you can, big or small. We can also develop empathy in unconventional ways. As the exploration of why it is beneficial shows, practicing compassion can help everyone get through these challenging times. By cultivating empathy, we can all be better off.


 

 

Lottie Miles

 




 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 01:47
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Terça-feira, 7 de Abril de 2020

5 Lessons Coronavirus Lockdown Teaches Us about Life

5 Lessons Coronavirus Lockdown Teaches Us about Life

By Anna LeMind, M.A.

April 6th, 2020

coronavirus lockdown life lessons.

 

 

With current coronavirus lockdown in many countries of the world, the regular flow of life has stopped. Basically, our lives have been put on hold.
We are asked to stay at home and to reduce our social and outdoor activities to the very minimum. Sounds like an introvert’s definition of paradise, doesn’t it? Yes, in these uneasy times, the quiet ones finally have an advantage in society.
However, for everyone else, it’s an incredibly challenging situation. An outgoing person who craves social contact and whose normal life is full of gatherings and activities can’t just turn into an introverted loner out of the blue.
Still, the coronavirus quarantine and lockdown can give us many valuable lessons about life. Everyone can learn from this difficult situation, both introverts and extroverts.

5 Life Lessons to Learn from the Coronavirus Lockdown

1. Don’t put your life on hold

This one may sound controversial at first. After all, everyone’s life is on hold right now. But here, I’m talking about our lives before the coronavirus pandemic (and hopefully, after it).
We all have something we dream about but don’t have the courage to fulfill it. We all have plans in life but are waiting for better times to turn them into a reality.
Maybe you wanted to change your career path or have a baby. Maybe you dreamed about traveling the world or enrolling in art classes. Right now, you can’t do any of these things because of the quarantine. You have to wait. And who knows for how long.
When we constantly postpone our plans and dreams, there comes a time when we no longer can (or want) to bring them to fruition. So don’t neglect your dreams and don’t put your life plans and goals on hold, waiting for the right moment. This moment may never come.

2. Live in the moment and find happiness in simple things

Here you are, stuck in your home, bored and lonely. But even in isolation, it’s possible to find ways to have fun and things to be grateful for. Use this situation as an opportunity to spend quality time with your family and kids. Plan a stay-at-home date with your special someone. Call your parents. Read books or find an online course you long wanted to take.
This list can be endless. The point is that even in times of quarantine and social distancing, you can enjoy yourself and live in the present moment. The joys of everyday life like a video call with your best friend or a walk with your dog have the power to make you happy.
With the coronavirus lockdown, we all have the opportunity to see that happiness is in simple, everyday things. And most importantly, it is in immaterial things. Expensive jewelry and brand clothes are out of use right now. But simple pleasures like a good read or a warm conversation are worth their weight in gold.

3. Taking breaks is necessary

hectic, anxiety-fueling lifestyle has become normal in our world. Before the pandemic, we couldn’t even imagine our days without busy schedules and tons of unnecessary stress. And yet, here they are. The whole world is taking a break from this rat race.
No matter how difficult the overall pandemic situation can feel, we could actually benefit from this break. Take a few moments to appreciate that. Enjoy the abundant sleep you lacked before. Relax at home, take a hot bath, just let yourself be lazy.
We all know that anxiety and stress are bad for our physical and mental health. But being busy all the time can also distract us from fulfilling our life purpose. When our minds are constantly occupied with job worries and mundane problems, we lose touch with our inner selves.
For this reason, taking a break can help us hear the voice of our souls. Use the lockdown time to get to know yourself better and discover what makes you truly happy and brings meaning to your life.

4. Appreciate nature

Here, I’m talking about appreciating nature on both personal and societal levels. Those of us living in the cities rarely have the opportunity to escape the world of concrete and asphalt and get closer to nature.
I bet that right now, many people think about those walks in the park they didn’t take and those trips to the countryside they didn’t go on. Even introverts who don’t go out that often are likely to have this kind of regrets. I do. Even when you are not a fan of going outside, it’s great to have an option to.
Then, the coronavirus pandemic and lockdown show us what we’ve been doing to our planet all this time. Now that most people stay at home and tourism is dead, nature is taking back. Scientists report reduced levels of pollution in Italy. Even the waters in Venice canals have cleared up as there are no tourists in the city and the locals are staying at home!
The sad truth is that we have become parasites to our home planet. Maybe it’s time we start to treat it with more respect and appreciation.

5. Always be ready for the tough times

We have talked about living in the moment and following your dreams. But we should never forget that tough times are a part of life and we need to be ready. Right now, many people have found themselves unprepared in a both financial and practical sense. And they have nowhere to get help from.
Situations like the coronavirus lockdown teach us that we need to stay optimistic but be ready for the worst. Always have a financial safety cushion and health insurance. You never know what can happen tomorrow.
You may say that this is quite a pessimistic approach. It is not. It’s just a realistic one. I’ve got an acquaintance who, no matter how severe your problem is, always tells you one single thing: think positive. Lost your job? Think positive. Have an acute conflict with your in-laws? Think positive. Coronavirus threat? Think positive.
While positivity has plenty of benefits, this kind of advice is valid only to a certain extent. If you get seriously ill or run out of food, no amount of positive thought can help you. Oftentimes, you need to take real actions in order to solve a problem.
Positive thinking is good, but blind positivity is not. Cultivate an optimistic attitude, but be prepared for possible adversities that may show up at your door.Turn the coronavirus lockdown into an opportunity for personal growth
The coronavirus pandemic is a tough situation for everyone. But this too shall pass. Meanwhile, use this period of self-isolation as an opportunity to learn and grow as a person. After all, it’s during difficult times that we discover our inner strength and perseverance.
Stay strong and be well.
 

Anna LeMind
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About the Author: Anna LeMind

Anna is the founder and lead editor of the website Learning-mind.com. She is passionate about learning new things and reflecting on thought-provoking ideas. She writes about science, psychology and other related topics. She is particularly interested in topics regarding introversion, consciousness and subconscious, perception, human mind's potential, as well as the nature of reality and the universe.
 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

Archives:
 
 
 


Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
BitChute.com
brighteon.com
 
 

 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.
 
 
Discernment is recommended.
 
 
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 



 

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publicado por achama às 01:17
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Terça-feira, 4 de Fevereiro de 2020

The Toxic Habit of Blaming Yourself for Everything and How to Stop It

 

The Toxic Habit of Blaming Yourself for Everything and How to Stop It.

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted February 3rd, 2020.

 
 

 
Blaming yourself for everything will not solve all the problems. In fact, it will cause many more. It has to stop.
 
I have an example of two sides of a coin that are both toxic – that would be self-blame and being irresponsible. Honestly, I don’t know which one is worse. These traits come from many types of influence, including upbringing or abuse, which are a bit different.
 
Where the habit of blaming yourself is born
 
Could it be, that long ago you became the scapegoat in your family? A scapegoat is someone who always stepped in and took the blame in every situation. Sometimes they were pushed gradually into that position, while other times they learned that taking the blame often ended the arguments in the family.
 
You know, when this happens as a child, blaming yourself grows into a toxic habit that follows you into adulthood. On what a dysfunctional relationship could be formed with an irresponsible mate and a scapegoat. The thought makes me cringe.
 
Why is this character trait so toxic?
 
There are a few ways that putting all the blame on yourself can be toxic. First of all, you have no control when you are always to blame. You relinquish your control by admitting that you have failed when you probably haven’t done so. Your life cannot be better or stand out from the rest in a good way either.
 
When you blame yourself, you squander the hopes and dreams you would have if you looked at the situation logically and put the blame where it belonged.
 
How can we stop blaming ourselves?
 
1. Have a little compassion
 
Maybe it’s easy to be compassionate to others, but what about yourself? Are you showing yourself the love and respect that you should? If you learn how to understand your strengths and weaknesses, you can see where you might need to go easy on yourself.
 
Whether or not you are to blame, which is not every single time, learn to treat yourself the same regardless. And of course, if you are to blame, then apologize, just not over and over.
 
2. Be able to change
 
When you visualize yourself, do you see someone that’s stone, or do you see soft clay? Let’s just pretend we do this, and maybe we should start if we don’t. Well, let’s not try to see ourselves as something which is hard to change or cannot be changed, but rather, as someone who is malleable, and able to adjust accordingly.
 
So instead of blaming yourself, you’re probably set in stone in what you believe. It’s similar to being the scapegoat, being something that never really changes. Being able to change can help you discover where true blame lies.
 
3. Learn who you are
 
If you never really had an opportunity to get to know yourself, then you will never know the truth about blame. It will be incredibly difficult to know if you are to blame or not if you don’t even know your own personality. To some people, this may sound silly. They may be saying, “Well, I know who I am, I’m Fred and I live in blah blah blah…etc” but that’s not what I mean.
 
I mean your inner identity. Yes, you have one, and most people know this. Blaming yourself for something you didn’t do becomes hard when you know you never do these things in question. So, don’ take fake blame, and don’t allow anyone to put fake blame on you either.
 
4. Change friends
 
If you’re still hanging around friends who help you blame yourself, then those friends are not for you. At some point, you took the blame for something that one of your friends was responsible for, and since then, you’ve been their scapegoat. You’ve developed a toxic clique, and you must get away.
 
When you find new friends, make sure you’ve become firmly acquainted with who you are, and if they try to blame you for something you didn’t do, stand up for yourself.
 
5. Blame and responsibility
 
Before you leave the blame behind with this new powerful path of escape from self-blame, make sure you really aren’t responsible. You should take responsibility for what you do, but not for what you don’t do, so….take some time and learn everything you can about these two words. Be honest with yourself and with others.
 
6. Adopt a clear mind
 
Just like most other issues, mindfulness is a great solution. Our minds can become so full of things like appointments, ideas, work, children, and our mates, among other things. It’s easy to let your mind become cluttered so bad that you will take the blame just to keep from adding more clutter to your mind.
 
Maybe you can take the blame, apologize and move on instead of trying to figure out what really occurred. With mindfulness, including meditation, you can clear out some of the clutter. This happens because mindfulness brings peace which allows us to tackle each thing in our mind, one at a time until it’s a bit clearer. This will help you understand who’s truly to blame in situations.
 
Killing a toxic habit
 
Just like it’s toxic for someone to never take the blame, it is also toxic blaming yourself for everything, and deep down, I think you know that. Step by step, we can learn the differencebetween these sides of the same coin, and place the blame or responsibility where it belongs.
 

 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 02:30
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Segunda-feira, 10 de Junho de 2019

How to Practice Self-Forgiveness When You Are Too Hard on Yourself ~ Sherrie.

How to Practice Self-Forgiveness When You Are Too Hard on Yourself.

By Sherrie.

June 9th, 2019

 

We must forgive others and sometimes we must practice self-forgiveness. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes.
Feeling bad for doing something wrong is normal. We should seek forgiveness when we’ve made mistakes or even been purposely cruel in the past.
However, dragging yourself through the mud for a long time after your regrets is not healthy. Self-forgiveness allows us to move on and learn how to be better people.

Have you been too hard on yourself?

When you mess up or make a mistake, how many times do you apologize? One apology, made in the right wayis enough to show you’re sorry for your actions.
When you apologize over and over, it doesn’t mean you’re any more or less sorry than with one heartfelt repentance. Sometimes groveling only makes some people use you and abuse your feelings. Try to remember that.

How can we practice self-forgiveness and self-love?

Some people can forgive themselves and be done with it, and some people get stuck in condemnation. I am sometimes those people. Lol
So, in order to practice self-forgiveness, we must sometimes first practice a few self-love tips. Here are some of the best.

1. An Inner dialogue on paper

When you have trouble forgiving yourself for something, you can try this: Write down how you’re feeling and take notice of the language you use when writing. Is your language positive? Well, probably not. But, you can use a positive outlook when talking to yourself about forgiveness.
Now, write down your good points. This includes your talents and strengths – basically, it’s all the things you like about yourself. Be honest. Do not describe yourself according to your shortcomings.
Write about the person you are separate from the mistakes you have made. This will help you gain perspective on your way to self-forgiveness.

2. Compassion

Just as you would show compassion toward someone else who made a mistake, and I hope you would, you must also use compassion with yourself.
You deserve a break because the world can be harsh, and no one is perfect. So, everyone needs compassion to try again. Even you need love to give it another shot.

3. Roleplay

Here’s an interesting way to forgive yourself. If you’re really being exceptionally hard on yourself, ask a friend to role play with you. Let your friend be you and take on the mistake that you made.
Now, pretend you are supposed to forgive them for what they’ve done, which is what you’ve done. I’m willing to bet that you will forgive them pretty easily.
Now, take your identity back and forgive yourself. At this point, you should be in a place where you can see your mistake as just a mistake, whether large or small.
You can move on with less guilt and condemnation than before. Thank your friend for the help and embrace the growth you’ve just gained.

4. Put the issue on hold

Even though the mistake may be bad, sometimes you have to put what you’ve done on holduntil you can process it correctly. It is okay to take it and store it in a mental box until later.
Now, as you’ve moved away from the mistake for a while, do things you enjoy and think better of yourself. When you feel strong enough, you can open the box and deal with what you’ve done. It’s usually easier to forgive yourself when you’ve done this.

5. Speak it

Words have so much power, both negative and positive. With some people, speaking aloud what they’ve done helps. This can lighten mental burdens and also help you see where you went wrong.
If you’ve hurt someone, you can see how and why you actually hurt them and the impact it had on their lives when you say what you’ve done.
In that process, you can find ways to heal from what you’ve done, and embrace self-forgiveness. If you’re feeling bad, just talk out loud to yourself or even to a friend.

6. See mistakes as learning

We all make mistakes from time to time. Like I said before, they can be large or small, doesn’t matter. When we make mistakes, we learn many things.
So, if you can see and feel what you’ve learned after doing wrong, you are making great progress. Forgiving yourself allows you to become a better you instead of wallowing in your sorrows.
This is unhealthy and doesn’t change anything that happened before. What’s done is done, and all you can do is try harder to be better.

Never be too hard on yourself

Self-forgiveness is necessary for living a full life. We will make so many mistakes that we will become accustomed to being flawed individuals. This is not to say we should do negative things and be proud of them, on the contrary.
We should always strive to be the kind and honorable in all situations. But if we fail, we should never be too hard on ourselves in an attempt to make things right. We must make amends and move on. It’s really the only way to truly practice self-forgiveness.
Have you forgiven yourself?
References:
  1. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 03:50
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