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A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e a verdade libertar-nos-á!
Quando o Poder do Amor superar o Amor pelo Poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix.
Domingo, 24 de Maio de 2020
How to Put Yourself First and 5 Situations When It’s Necessary.
How to Put Yourself First and 5 Situations When It’s Necessary.
Lauren Edwards-Fowle,
M.Sc. and B.Sc.
learning-mind.com
Posted May 24th, 2020.
.A pessimist is somebody who always sees the negative side. Pessimistic people expect the worst and are generally seen as unhappy, gloomy individuals. However, how thin is the line between a pessimist and a realist?
Traits of Pessimistic People
1. Always expecting the worst
This can relate to anything; the outcome of a job interview, the reason the phone is ringing, or how fun tonight’s party is going to be. A pessimist is a solid ‘glass half empty’ person and never has hopeful expectations that things will work out better than expected.
2. Finding it hard to see the joy in life
Somebody pessimistic doesn’t decide to be a downer; that would be a negative person who deliberately finds the bad in life. A pessimist might desperately want to feel as excited as everybody else but find it impossible to rationally think the same as others.
3. Difficulty with trusting relationships
As a natural pessimist, a person will take a lot of hard work before they can look to the future with positivity. It can, therefore, be really hard for these people to form close emotional bonds since their innate expectation is that it will turn out badly, and their trust will be crushed.
4. A tendency towards anxiety
Whilst the world around a pessimist will seem naïve, it can be tough to not feel overwhelmed by all the potential for things to go wrong. This can lead to stress and anxiety, feeling isolated with worries and concerns that nobody else can seem to see.
5. Excellent at contingency planning
A pessimist might see himself or herself as a realist; either way, they always have a Plan B. If you can’t accept the likelihood that plans will work out well, you will always be planning for the fallout, and have a back-up plan for when that happens. This makes pessimistic people excellent team members who can cope better than most with problems and challenges.
What Is the Difference between Pessimistic People and Realistic People?
Many pessimists will claim to be realists. They don’t have any other way of thinking and probably feel that all the optimists are gullible and reckless for not seeing the impending danger.
However, realism and pessimism are two different things.
Logic vs. assumption
Realists use their logistical reasoning to decide on what they believe is the most likely outcome. Pessimistic people don’t have this power of logic and will automatically assume the worst, regardless of the evidence to suggest otherwise.
Acceptance of other opinions
A pessimist finds it hard to accept that other people might feel differently from them. They might even feel it is their responsibility to convince others that they are right. A realist, on the other hand, can acknowledge different viewpoints and not take it personally if people disagree with them. They will be sure they are still in the right though!
Keeping control
Being incapable of seeing the positive in anything can be a demotivating experience. It often leads pessimistic people to experience anxiety and stress. Realists don’t suffer in the same way, knowing that their opinions are borne from fact and deduction.
What Are the Benefits of Being a Pessimistic Person?
It isn’t all doom and gloom. So if you think you may be a natural pessimist, there are some positives to take away from this personality trait!
1. Limited expectations
This may seem like a downside, but in fact, a pessimist who sets the bar for their expectations low will be more often happily surprised than other people. This can be an effective defense mechanism to cope with previous disappointments and mitigate the chance of being badly hurt.
2. Preventative healthcare
If you always expect the worst, you are very likely to be convinced that every lump and bump is a terminal illness. Pessimists tend to take very good care of themselves and react quickly to any potential health problems. This makes them much more likely to effectively manage any illnesses that do come their way.
3. Resistance to pressure
Pessimistic people are less prone to believing fake news or listening to bad advice than most of us. They use a negative outlook as a cognitive tool to analyze and respond to new situations. Thus, they have better courage in their convictions than most. This makes pessimists far less likely to buy into propaganda than any other people.
4. No forced feelings
An optimist will often be crushed when something works out badly. A pessimistic person will have seen it coming all along, so they will have been emotionally preparing for the fallout. Usually, an optimist will feel the need to continually be upbeat, to the point of faking it when they are feeling bad, which can be a stressful experience.
Conclusion
The reality is that most of us don’t choose our personalities and need to learn coping strategies to manage our less positive traits. However, there is always the capacity to change. Recognizing any tendencies that you would like to work on is the first step to effecting personal development.
There isn’t anything wrong with being a pessimistic person, much as there isn’t anything bad about being an optimist. Both have pluses and negatives, and both will leave you vulnerable to certain outcomes that will impact harder on your psyche than somebody with a different mindset.
Accepting who you are, and how best to deal with your personality to ensure it doesn’t negatively affect your relationships and social interactions is critical for all of us to make sure we are true to ourselves and living our best lives.
References:
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
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A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: acceptance, assumption, expectations, lauren edwards-fowle, logic, negative thinking, other opinions, perception, personality, resistance
Segunda-feira, 18 de Maio de 2020
‘Is My Child a Psychopath?’ 5 Signs to Watch Out For
‘Is My Child a Psychopath?’
5 Signs to Watch Out For
Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)
https://www.learning-mind.com
May 18th, 2020.
Are you worried about your child? Have you noticed a disturbing mean streak in them? Are they not fazed by punishment? Have you ever been so frightened of your child’s behaviour that you start to ask yourself, ‘Is my child a psychopath?’
‘Is My Child a Psychopath?’ – How to Recognize the Signs
Adult psychopaths fascinate us, but they must have come from somewhere. So, would you be able to recognise psychopathic traits in your child?
Historically, studies into child psychopathy have been carried out retrospectively. In other words, we take the adult psychopath and look into his or her childhood. Adult psychopaths can share several traits common in childhood. The MacDonald Triad suggested three such significant traits:
- Bed-wetting
- Cruelty to animals
- Fire-setting
However, subsequent research has criticised the MacDonald Triad. Instead, studies have shown that traits such as ‘callous disregard’ are more common in children who go onto exhibit psychopathy as adults.
“I remember when I bit my mom really hard, and she was bleeding and crying. I remember feeling so happy, so overjoyed—completely fulfilled and satisfied.” Carl*
Adult Psychopathic Traits vs Child Psychopathy
Speaking of adults, adult psychopathic traits are well-documented. We know that psychopaths tend to exhibit certain behaviours.
Adult Psychopathic Traits
The Mayo Clinic defines psychopathy as:
“A mental condition in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the rights and feelings of others.”
Psychopaths make up about 1% of the population. Around 75% are male and 25% female.
Psychopaths share many characteristics. In fact, the Hare Checklist is a specific list of psychopathic traits. The most common adult psychopathic traits are:
- Lying and manipulation
- Lack of morals
- No empathy
- Superficial charm
- Narcissism
- Superiority complex
- Gaslighting
- Lack of conscience
So do children share these same traits as their adult counterparts?
“I wanted the whole world to myself. So I made a whole entire book about how to hurt people. I want to kill all of you.” Samantha*
Child Psychopathy
Well, society does not label children as psychopaths. Instead, children with ‘dark traits’ are described as ‘callous and unemotional’. Experts use this callous-unemotional behaviour (CU behaviour) to form a diagnosis.
Examples of Callous Unemotional Behaviour in Children:
Studies into antisocial behaviour in children have captured several common traits in children as young as 2 years old:
- A lack of guilt after misbehaving
- No difference in behaviour after punishment
- Constant lying
- Sneaky behaviour designed to mislead you
- Selfish and aggressive behaviour when they don’t get what they want
Further research has led to the Youth Psychopathic Traits Inventory (YPI), which is similar to the Hare Checklist. Adolescents answer a series of questions which are then scored to measure the following personality traits:
- Sense of grandiosity
- Lying
- Manipulation
- Callous nature
- No remorse
- Insincere charm
- Unemotionality
- Thrill-seeking
- Impulsiveness
- Irresponsible nature
Children and adolescents that exhibit many of the above CU traits are more likely to commit anti-social behaviour as young adults and end up in prison.
“Don’t let me hurt you, Mom.” Kevin*
Is a Child Psychopath a Product of Nature or Nurture?
There are some experts that believe child psychopaths are born this way. However, others think it is more likely to be a mixture of genes and environment.
Philosopher John Locke first suggested that children are ‘blank slates‘, filled with experiences from their parents and interactions with their environment. But children are more than that. They come with their own readymade personality. This core personality then interacts with family, friends, and society. The environment shapes this core personality into the adults we become.
So what can cause a child to become a psychopath?
What Are the Causes of Child Psychopathy?
Early childhood abuse
One of the strongest indications of child psychopathy is early abuse in childhood. In fact, neglected, abused, or children that grew up in dysfunctional environments are more likely to show psychopathic tendencies later on.
Attachment issues
Separation from a parent or primary caregiver can have devastating effects on a child. We know that it is essential to form an attachment with our parents. However, the parent in question could suffer from addiction or mental health problems.
In fact, studies show that young female psychopaths are likely to have come from dysfunctional home lives.
Victimisation
On the other hand, young male psychopaths are more likely to have been victimised at an early age. The perpetrator carrying out the victimisation can be a parent or the child’s peers. This reasoning confirms what we already know, in that victims of bullying will often become bullies themselves.
Different brain structure
Other studies propose that children who show CU behaviours have differences in their brain structure. This supports the theory that suggests adult psychopaths have different brains to the rest of us.
Children with CU traits have less grey matter in the limbic system. This system is responsible for processing emotions. They also have an underactive amygdala. Someone with an undersized amygdala has problems recognising emotions in others. Therefore, they lack empathy.
“Kill John and Mommy with them (knives). And Daddy.” Beth*
5 Signs Your Child Is a Psychopath
So we can understand some of the causes behind child psychopathy. But if you ask yourself, ‘Is my child a psychopath?’, what signs should you be looking out for?
1. Superficial charm
These children can appear charming but they are mimicking what they’ve seen other people do. The only reason they appear to be charming is to get what they want.
One way you can identify superficial charm in children is to watch their reactions when someone else is upset or distressed. In normal circumstances, seeing someone upset will be in itself upsetting to a child. They will try and comfort whoever is upset. If your child is a psychopath, they won’t care and it certainly won’t upset them.
2. Lack of guilt or remorse
Children with CU behaviour use their charm to manipulate others. If they want something, they will do anything in their power to get it. If this happens to hurt another person in the process, so be it. They don’t understand that their actions have consequences. All they know is that the world is there for them. Therefore, they can do whatever they want.
So look out for selfishness in your child, one that is not prepared to share with others and one that acts aggressively if their needs are not met.
3. Prone to aggressive outbursts
Most parents are used to toddler tantrums, but the aggressive outbursts from child psychopaths are much more than tantrums. If you feel frightened of your own child’s capabilities, it’s a sign of psychopathy.
One other thing to point out is that these outbursts will come from nowhere. For instance, one minute, everything is fine, the next, your child is threatening you with a knife if you don’t get them a new puppy. The outburst is a massive overreaction to the situation.
4. Immune to punishment
Brain scans have shown that reward systems in callous children are overactive, but they are unable to recognise the usual signs of punishment. This leads them to focus doggedly on their own pleasure without being able to stop, even if it means hurting someone. Moreover, they know that if they get caught, they’ll be reprimanded.
We usually temper our behaviour to match the consequences of our actions. If your child is a psychopath, they know the consequences – they just don’t care.
5. No empathy for others
Does your child seem flat behind the eyes? Do you look at them and wonder if they are capable of loving you? It’s not that they don’t know what love is, they just don’t experience it.
Child experts believe that inactivity in the amygdala is to blame. More interestingly, we know that babies, when given the choice, would rather look at human faces than something like a red ball. Studies reveal that children who exhibit CU behaviour prefer the red ball to a face.
“I choked my little brother.” Samantha*
Can a Child Psychopath Be Cured?
So can child psychopaths ever be cured? Probably not. But their behaviour can be modified.
Research has shown that children with CU behaviour do not respond to punishment. However, because their reward centre in the brain is overactive, they do respond to incentives. This is cognitive morality. So while the child may never recognise emotions or understand empathy, they do have a system that rewards them for good behaviour.
Final Thoughts
Nature or nurture, brain abnormalities, or neglect in childhood. Whatever the reason, seeing callous disregard in children is particularly horrifying. But it doesn’t have to mean a life sentence. So if you suspect that your child is a psychopath, you should know that with proper therapy, even the coldest of children can live a relatively normal life.
References:
*Names changed.
About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
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A Trusty with Privacy Search
All articles are of the respective authors or publishers responsibility.
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
Sábado, 2 de Maio de 2020
5 Signs of a False Twin Flame and Differences from a Real One
5 Signs of a False Twin Flame and Differences from a Real One
Becky Storey.
https://www.learning-mind.com/
May 1st, 2020
.Finding your twin flame, or soulmate, is a lifelong dream for some. We’re told fantasies about meeting our other half and finally feeling complete. The idea that there might be someone out there who matches us perfectly is the stuff of fairy tales at times, but that doesn’t mean it’s imaginary. Many people honestly believe that we all have a twin flame somewhere in this world, and with that comes its darker side. We may also have a false twin flame, ready to capture our attention for all the wrong reasons.
What Is A False Twin Flame?
The idea of twin flames originated as far back as Plato and the Ancient Greeks. The story goes that the first humans had two heads, four arms, and four legs, but the Gods were intimidated by this. They chose to split them in two to prevent them from being too powerful. Your twin flame is thought to be the other half of your soul that you were meant to have, hence the magnetic connection.
It is important to note that a twin flame does not have to be a romantic interest. Many people have found their twin flame in a best friend or even a relative.
A false twin flame appears as very similar to a true twin flame. They may initially provide exactly what you felt you needed, but they aren’t destined to be with you in the long term. The connection may feel magnetic, and you feel similar in every way you’d hope. Consider the false twin flame to be the shadow, almost identical to the true twin flame but with a darker purpose.
False twin flames aren’t all bad. They may help us to ultimately identify what we require in a true twin flame, but first, they might put us through some trying times.
Signs of a False Twin Flame
1. Their Commitment Waivers
Due to the lack of any true connection, a false twin flame won’t be very committed to you. You’ll think they’re “the one” and turn to them in times of need, but they won’t be there to help. When times get hard, they’ll pull away or even leave altogether.
Even in the good times, with a false twin flame, you’ll be worried they aren’t really in it for the long term. Their commitment will feel shallow. Every disagreement will bring up the possibility of ending your relationship.
2. They Come into Your Life at The Wrong Time
A false twin flame will come into your life at a time when you feel lost and confused about your next moves. When they appear to you, you’ll think they’re some kind of miracle. It will seem as if they had been sent to you to change your life. In some way, they will change you, but not in the way you hope.
During your most difficult times, false twin flames appear in order to teach us to look inwards. During fights, hardship, and the inevitable end, you will learn an awful lot about yourself. A true twin flame arrives when you aren’t looking for help and teaches you how to utilize what the false twin flame taught you.
3. They Lie About Your Exclusivity
A false twin flame will make you feel like you’re the whole world to them. The false deep feelings you develop for each other will make your connection seem unique. They will make false promises about you being the last person they ever feel this way about and tell lies about how you are the first.
Eventually, you’ll come to learn that there are others they treated just the same as you, or you’ll see that they moved on very quickly once your time together comes to an end. If you meet a true twin flame, nothing and no one will compare to the connection you share. You will be unique and special to them, and they will be the same for you.
4. They Are Threatened by You
A false twin flame, just like a true one, will be very similar to you. You will share goals and personality traits that mean you’re striving for similar things for your lives. The difference lies in how each flame reacts to your success.
False twin flames will be jealous and feel threatened by how successful you are because they want it to themselves. They will be furious to live in your shadow. True twin flames want to see you thrive.
5. They Are Emotionally Unavailable
A twin flame connection is one that is deeply emotional and spiritual. You should feel like you know this person on every level. A false twin flame won’t give you this impression. They will be closed off to emotional conversations and deep sharing. They’ll do everything they can to avoid being vulnerable with you.
A false twin flame will have you feeling unsettled. You’ll be unsure of how they’ll react to serious moments, and you won’t feel secure that they’ll be there for you when times are hard.
Key Differences Between a False Twin Flame and a Real Twin Flame
They Will Be Totally Committed
In total contrast to a false twin flame, a true one will always be committed. They will withstand every hardship because your connection is worth it. They will feel the same deep connection that you do, and they will choose to preserve it above all else.
You will feel complete certainty with this person. They won’t leave you questioning the strength of your relationship, you’ll know exactly where you stand. Their commitment and just how special you are to them will be obvious from the start.
Their Purpose in Your Life Will Be Clear
A false twin flame comes with no clear purpose. They come to teach us about ourselves, but we might not know what that is until it’s over. A real twin flame begins teaching us from the moment we meet them, and their purpose with us is clear. They help with our personal growth, and you’ll feel this from day one.
They also serve the purpose of encouraging us to grow. Real twin flames, genuinely want to see us excel at whatever we choose to do, unlike a false twin flame.
Keep your heart open for whatever kind of twin flame is on its way. A false twin flame may seem like a bump in the road, but they come to us when we need teaching, not when we need to settle down. It’s good to be aware of the signs, but there is no need to fear a false twin flame. If one crosses your path, it’s there for a reason.
References:
Becky Storey
About the Author: Becky Storey
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
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A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
Segunda-feira, 27 de Abril de 2020
The Rare INTJ Female and Her Personality Traits
The Rare INTJ Female and Her Personality Traits
Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)
https://www.learning-mind.com
April 27th, 2020.
Some Myers-Briggs personalities are so rare they deserve closer scrutiny. The INTJ female is one such example.
Making up just under 1% of the world’s population, notable INTJ females include Jane Austin, Susan Sontag, Lise Meitner, and Emily Jane Brontë, to name just a few. So what are the traits of the fascinating INTJ personality?
Traits of an INTJ Female
INTJ stands for Introverted, Intuition, Thinker, and Judgment.
Introverted thinkers
Female INTJs are private individuals who do not act like ‘girly’ girls. They are not interested in being feminine. They don’t care if men notice them for their looks. Instead, they focus on competence and knowledge.
For INTJ women, knowledge is power. They use logic and reasoning over emotions and other people’s feelings. So long as the job is done and done well, it doesn’t bother them if they upset a few people along the way.
They will stand up to authority if they believe authority is wrong. They instinctively know the right way to do things and can get impatient when others need explanations.
Esteem comes from within
INTJ females don’t need validation from other people to raise their self-esteem or confidence. They have an inbuilt sense of self from years of gathering knowledge and gaining qualifications. So it is this that forms her core being and INTJ personality. Not platitudes from friends or lovers.
However, she does enjoy being noticed for her intelligence and will quietly notch up wins in her mental notebook. If she is studying with others, she’ll have to get the best grades. Not to show off, but to prove to herself that she is the best.
A close circle of loyal friends
A woman with the INTJ personality will have a few close friends that she’s known for years, decades probably. These friends know to give her space, and not to take offence at her dry comments. They know not to turn up uninvited and that the best gift to buy for her is a book on whatever she’s currently studying or interested in.
Leads from the back
INTJ females are natural leaders, but not in an alpha-male kind of way. They steer from the back of the room, quietly but purposefully, guiding others to the same conclusions as theirs.
These women don’t care about the court of public opinion. In fact, they’re quite happy sticking their neck out in opposition to the view of the crowd, if they know they’re right. And, they always know they’re right.
Confident and independent
The typical INTJ female is a confident and independent woman who doesn’t need a partner to make her whole. She’s perfectly happy to be on her own. Actually, she’d rather be alone than in a restricting relationship.
Growing up, the INTJ teenager will rebel against what she considers to be unfair and unjust. She’s used to being separate, an outsider if you will. In fact, she has known from an early age she is different.
You can easily spot an INTJ girl at school. When all the other pupils are working on their chosen projects of dogs, cats, or football, she’s engrossed in her electricity project.
Hard exterior, soft centre
But scratch the surface and there’s a wonderful depth to her understanding. If an INTJ woman folds you into her inner circle, it’s likely you’ll never leave or need another friend again. However, you have to break through her tough, self-constructed barrier first. After all, it’s there to protect her fragile heart. Because once this woman falls in love, it’s forever.
So she sets herculean tests to potential suitors. Pass these tests and you will be allowed entry into her sacred inner circle. Those that fail were never her type in the first place.
3 Struggles of an INTJ Female
The INTJ female is a fascinating character. A contradiction, a paradox, a puzzle to be solved if you will. She’s set herself up this way to dispense with those timewasters. She’s full of quirks, qualities, and intriguing traits. But that’s not to say she doesn’t have her own personal struggles in life.
INTJ female at work
I’ve already established that this female doesn’t do well with authority. Especially if she sees incompetence or a better way to do things. A woman with the INTJ personality type is not afraid of calling out the top bosses for their faults. But she won’t understand why this does her no favours with fellow workers.
I mean, doesn’t everyone want the best solution to a problem? Does it matter who comes up with the idea so long as it works? This woman has no guile. She won’t play party politics and although she may get the result she wanted, she’ll be hurt by her colleague’s reactions to her.
The other problem a female INTJ will face is that because of her standoffish nature, people will think she is a snob. Her co-workers may think that she looks down on them. When in fact, the reverse is true. Anyone grafting an honest day’s work has her admiration. It’s laziness that appals her.
INTJ females and friends
Her friends will be few and far between, but she’ll have known them for decades. These friends will be fiercely defensive of her, and they’ll have to be because this female doesn’t take fools gladly.
An INTJ woman also has a dry, dark sense of humour. She delivers her punchlines with aplomb, with her sharp, cutting tongue. Once you get to know her, you get this dark humour. Remember, her humour is one way of weeding out timewasters.
Another point is that an INTJ will want nothing to do with the types who post selfies on social media. Or those who try and garner sympathy from others’ tragedies. She knows that to be a well-rounded person you need validation from the inside, and not other people’s opinions.
INTJ females and relationships
As I said earlier, this woman won’t settle just to be in a relationship. She’d much rather be on her own. A female INTJ may not want children either. Actually, you could say she doesn’t really have a maternal bone in her. But she does love animals. And she may have several pets that she adores.
Men would say this woman is a hard nut to crack. She’ll need a partner that she believes is superior to her. She likes a challenge and, therefore, she can’t date someone of lesser intelligence.
Final Thoughts
I would like to finish with a quote that perfectly sums up the INTJ female:
“And the princess lived happily ever after in her own big castle with all of her own money and she took care of herself. The End.”
Are you an INTJ? Do you relate to the description above? Please share your thoughts with us.
References:
Janey Davies
About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
Quinta-feira, 23 de Abril de 2020
8 Traits of a Charismatic Personality and How to Be One.
8 Traits of a Charismatic Personality and How to Be One.
Sherrie Hurd, A.A.
learning-mind.com
Posted April 23rd, 2020.
.Having a charismatic personality means understanding the delicate balance between confidence and humility. Everyone enjoys the company of such a person.
One of the best traits to have is charisma. While it might not be easy to understand by many people, for those who get it, it’s invaluable. Finding a balance that clearly defines the difference between cockiness and confidence means all the difference in the world. In that balance is where you want to be in order to truly be a good individual.
How to recognize a charismatic personality?
A winning personality void of egotistical intent but filled with love and kindness is what our world needs today. We need more people filled with true charisma. But who are these people? How do we recognize the charismatic personality?
Revealing traits
1. Substance
True charismatic people possess substance behind their initial charm. You may meet someone who is incredibly charming and warm, but if they aren’t truly charismatic, this charm will erode into selfish motivation. With substance, there is a depth to that charm – it’s a true intention to offer your best to your fellow man.
2. Presence
To have a strong presence is not just about being in the present moment, physically. When charisma is present within you, you are able to give someone else 100% of your attention when they are conveying a message.
Think about it this way. How important to you is what you have to say? It’s important, isn’t it? So, one trait of charisma is being able to hear every piece of information and understanding that all of it is important to the one speaking or needing help.
3. Good eye contact
A charismatic personality exudes confidence. This confidence often shows through good eye contact. When you make eye contact during presentations or even when simply meeting someone new, you help them focus on what you’re saying, thus understanding and retaining more information.
You will know that someone has charisma when they hold good eye contact without making situations uncomfortable.
4. Listening skills
Many times, in a conversation, one person holds the spotlight. Although it can be rather selfish, most people don’t realize they’re hogging all the attention. Instead of listening to someone speak, most people are already planning their next words.
A good healthy conversation, however, involves paying attention to what each other says, I mean really paying full attention. Charismatic people do this – they actually listen to what you’re saying. They are invaluable friends. They even listen more than they speak in all conversations.
5. Humility
Being humble is hard to some, but to charismatic people, it seems to come naturally. Humility is a well-known trait of selflessness, offering the best to others even when having to sacrifice themselves for others.
In fact, the most charismatic types of personalities have little to no arrogance at all. Humility will be easy to recognize when meeting charismatic people. Just watch for their constant effort to help and their amazing ability to accept when they are wrong.
6. Maturity
The person with charisma is mature. They place wisdom at a higher standard than knowledge itself. While so many of us possess intellect, few really have the ability to utilize logic and life experience like the charismatic personality.
True maturity shows through the charismatic person’s ability to make wise decisions, accept responsibility, and be a good influence on others struggling to be better versions of themselves. They will often be recognized as people wise beyond their physical age.
7. Power
Some personalities display kindness and beauty, while this particular personality displays power too. Now, mind you, this power I speak of is not a selfish type of power. It’s more like having an incredible influence over those in high positions.
But do charismatic people use this power for self-gain? Not usually, they mostly have this power unknowingly or they don’t try to use it. It’s more like something that just resides within that gets noticed and utilized. Using power for yourself and being a powerful influence are completely different things. True power shows through charisma.
8. Warm
A personality with charisma is a warm personality. This means they are approachable. Unlike other personalities where you feel nervous, the person with charisma makes you feel accepted, genuinely cared for, and intelligent. They never downplay your knowledge by showing off their own.
It’s as if they come towards you with open arms, welcoming everything you have to say. This warmth cannot be copied by those who aren’t charismatic people. It is a rare trait.
If you want to be more charismatic, here’s what you do:
1. Listen better
As I stated above, charismatic personalities truly listen during communication. If you want to be more like this, you have to practice listening more and speaking less. No, it’s not easy at all.
I have a horrible problem with just listening to what others have to say without constantly formulating my own words during their speaking. I also get overly excited about my own life and experiences that I often eclipse others when conversating. This is really bad, and yes, I must improve.
This is true with most people. We must learn to listen better if we want to improve our own charisma.
2. Take less/give more
Do not be selfish. Spend more of your time helping and giving to others, and less time taking things you believe you deserve. To physically be more charismatic, maybe you can help with a charity or do things for your neighbors.
It takes practice moving more into a selfless nature considering the world is always wanting us to take for ourselves in order to survive. So giving is a huge way of improving charismatic aspects of your personality.
3. Embrace change
Change isn’t easy, but to be more charismatic, you have to learn how to adapt to whatever is happening around you. At first, learn how to accept the ideas and opinions of others instead of judging their beliefs. Everyone is an individual and deserves the same respect, even when you don’t agree with them.
Accept a change of thought, a change of environment if necessary, and even a change in your personal life. People with positive power can do this.
4. Try to stay positive
While it’s not possible to be positive every moment of your life, striving for a positive attitude and good news when you can is always best. What this does for others is it makes them feel better about themselves. It makes them feel like there is hope in the world when they are disappointed. Work on your positive feelings and this will transform the way you and others think.
Becoming a charismatic person
Basically, I believe we should make a decision to move toward building a more charismatic personality. Why? Well, because being a good influence, truly listening and being kind never hurt anyone. In fact, this sort of behavior can change someone’s life for the better, and in huge ways. I encourage you to practice charismatic behavior and learn more about yourself in the process.
How are you improving your self today? Share any ideas if you want.
References:
Sherrie Hurd
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
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A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: charisma, communication, personal development, personality, self-confidence, self-improvement, sherrie, sherrie h, sherrie hurd
Quarta-feira, 22 de Abril de 2020
7 Signs of People Who Lack Empathy and Examples of Their Behavior
7 Signs of People Who Lack Empathy and Examples of Their Behavior
Lauren Edwards-Fowle,
M.Sc. & B.Sc.
learning-mind.com
Posted March 21st, 2020.
.A lack of empathy makes it hard to engage in a meaningful relationship with a person. Being empathetic is an innate human quality, whereby we can appreciate the feelings of other people, regardless of whether those feelings also affect us. What about those who lack empathy?
Why do some people lack empathy?
Being unable to show empathy is often linked to low emotional intelligence. This means that if someone in your life seems unable to relate to how you are feeling, it might not be deliberate.
Having low emotional intelligence means that a person does not have the resources to be able to grasp feelings outside of the spectrum of their own experience. This is similar to a very young child, who has not yet reached emotional maturity. They are the center of their universe and do not feel a response when somebody else is emotional.
In other cases, having little or no empathy can be a trait of a narcissistic person or somebody suffering from an anti-social behavior condition.
Signs of people who lack empathy and examples of their behavior in everyday life:
1. Lack of close relationships
Someone unable to relate to others will find it very difficult to establish long-term relationships. They may have no or very few friends and struggle to maintain a bond even with their immediate family members. This is because a lack of empathy extends to everybody. Thus, they might not feel the emotional bond or familial connection that most of us experience.
Have you ever had a colleague who doesn’t ever contribute to a birthday collection, or won’t bother to sign a card for a sick colleague? They probably don’t see why they should inconvenience themselves with the concerns of other people.
2. Unusual responses to grief
Having no empathy can show through in times of distress. If you have suffered a bereavement, and somebody in your life does not seem interested or offer any kind of condolences, they probably cannot relate to your grief.
As an example, if you have lost a pet that you loved very much, most people will feel sorry for you and understand the sadness and sense of loss you will be feeling. A person without any empathy will not understand why you are upset, and might even make unkind comments.
3. An inability to share in others’ happiness
Here is another example of a behavior that is typical for a person who lacks empathy. If you have had a baby, celebrated graduating, or become engaged, your friends, colleagues, and family will be delighted for you! If there is somebody who doesn’t seem particularly interested or has not offered any congratulations, they may lack the empathy to appreciate your happiness.
It is a sad by-product that someone experiencing this is unable to share in others’ joy. It works in a similar way to being unable to relate to grief.
4. A strong set of irrefutable personal beliefs
An individual who cannot relate to emotions often has a very firm stance on their own beliefs. Thus, they will find it extremely difficult to accept in any situation that they might be wrong. If you have ever had a conversation with a person who will argue black is white – seemingly for the sake of it – they might simply lack the capacity to relate to your argument.
Lacking any kind of emotional maturity renders a person incapable of reconsidering their ideas, or understanding that they might not be right.
5. Egotistical
With an absence of empathy comes a strong sense of self. A person who cannot empathize will likely be very egotistical, as they prioritize themselves in every situation. People may have an inflated ego for many reasons. However, in case of those with low emotional intelligence, this stems from emotional immaturity.
So an emotionally immature adult will often behave in a childish manner. These kinds of people crave attention all the time, act irresponsibly and are unable to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. This could apply to anything, and some examples of this behavior include pushing in the line at the coffee shop to driving inconsiderately.
6. A sense of entitlement
This trait is particularly noticeable in a group dynamic. A person who lacks empathy will often talk endlessly about him/herself. They will brush off any turn in the conversation that does not center on them. This behavior is known as conversational narcissism, and many people can have it without actually being narcissists.
You may know a few examples of such people in your life. You might notice a friend who will ask continually for favours, without any expectation of returning them. It might be that they simply do not understand why they should invest comparable effort into the relationship, and nor consider how their actions might be making you feel.
7. Reacting awkwardly to emotion
Whilst there are many reasons why people find it hard to know how to respond to emotion, people who can’t make an emotional connection will struggle to react in an appropriate way.
Sometimes, emotional outbursts might be a little over the top, and potentially embarrassing. However, hiding your feelings is never healthy, and a few tears to cope with a stressful situation is an ordinary reaction. People who cannot empathize will not know what to do in this circumstance, and will often try to distance themselves completely.
Life without empathy
It can be just as hard to try and get along with someone who doesn’t seem to care about anything but themselves, as it can be being a person who doesn’t grasp the basic human reaction of empathy.
Not being able to relate to your partner, not understanding why people feel a certain way, and being unable to consider any thought process other than your own is a very isolating way to live.
Try not to take it personally; not everyone has reached emotional maturity, and sadly, some people never will. A lack of empathy is not a reflection on you, or the authenticity of your feelings, but is an unfortunate inability to appreciate them.
References:
Lauren Edwards-Fowle
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
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A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: behavior, emotions, empathy, happiness, lauren edwards-fowle, personal beliefs, personality, relationships
How to Handle Nosy Neighbors as an Introvert
How to Handle Nosy Neighbors as an Introvert
Becky Storey.
https://www.learning-mind.com/
April 22th, 2020
.Having neighbors can be great. They could be built-in friends that come with your new home and end up being your closest friends for life. They’re helpful to have around too. Neighbors will watch your house while you’re away and can be your first call in an emergency. Friendly neighbors are a very coveted thing because there’s nothing worse than bad, nosy neighbors.
Nosy neighbors can turn your dream home into a haunted house. There are a few kinds of nosy, invasive neighbors. There are the window watchers, the question askers and the can I borrowers just to name a few. It’s difficult to avoid a nosy neighbor. They think that by living next door to you, they’re part of the family like they have automatic rights to your personal life.
Introverts like to keep their personal lives just that, personal. This makes nosy neighbors the bane of an introvert’s existence. They ruin your sacred home life, and as an introvert, it can feel impossible to confront them.
4 Ways You Can Handle Nosy Neighbors as an Introvert
1. Be the Bigger Person
“Rise above it”, our parents always told us as kids. Don’t sink to their level, they said. Turns out, that advice still holds up even as adults. The very best way to handle nosy neighbors that you don’t like is to stay level-headed and always be the mature one. Introverts hate confrontation and conflict, so to preserve your mental wellbeing, never let your disagreements become more than that.
Neighbors can make your life a nightmare if you let them. At worst, they can even get the police and lawyers involved in your conflicts. When tensions start to arise between you and your nosy neighbors, keep in mind that keeping the peace is always the best option. Just like having tensions within your home, neighbors aren’t much different. You can’t escape them, so your best option is to be civil.
When they’re being nosy, or noisy, or downright rude, try your best to stay polite. It might feel near impossible, and you’ll be fighting the urge to scream, but it’ll be for the best in the long term.
Avoid being aggressive, loud, or rude. Try to compromise as much as you can bring yourself to. If their demands don’t affect you too much, consider letting them have it. “Pick your battles, you can’t fight them all” my Mother would say.
2. Set Clear Boundaries
Introverts often struggle to be honest about their feelings, especially if they think they won’t be met with understanding. This leads to becoming “yes people”, and mental exhaustion.
Some nosy neighbors seem to live to push your boundaries. They stare a little too long. They ask a few too many and too invasive questions. They ask for a few too many favors. When we’re trying to keep the peace, we might be inclined to let them get away with these kinds of behaviors, but you don’t have to. It is possible to be polite and still speak up for yourself.
A part of being a mature adult is learning how to shut down nosy people without upsetting anyone. You can do this by simply remaining kind, even if your words aren’t.
If you spot a nosy neighbor doing something you don’t like, you are in every right to ask them to stop. In a polite calm way, you simply say “I’ve noticed you doing this, and it makes me quite uncomfortable. Do you mind not doing it anymore?” Chances are, anyone approached like this would feel genuinely apologetic and a little embarrassed for being so weird.
3. Answer Their Invasive Questions
It might sound a bit backward, but a simple way of keeping nosy neighbors at bay is to give them a little of what they want. As an introvert, it can be really difficult to speak up and tell other people to back off. If that’s something you struggle with, you can instead learn to answer in limited ways.
When a nosy neighbor asks questions that you don’t want to answer, respond with as few words as you like but keep a smile. Then you can quickly exit the situation, and they’ll be none the wiser. You’ll come across as friendly, just busy.
4. Be Honest about You
If you’re willing, you could find ways to let your over-eager nosy neighbors know that your home is a sacred space. Simple anecdotes slipped into a conversation will (hopefully) help them to see that you want to be left alone.
You could let them know that you’re a homebody and that you enjoy being undisturbed when you’re at home. If they have a habit of peering over your garden fence and asking too many questions, you can also make it clear that your garden is a quiet space too.
3 Quick Fixes for Handling Nosy Neighbors
1. Pretend You Didn’t Hear Them
If you’re looking to quickly escape a nosy neighbor, you can pretend you don’t hear or see them. Don’t respond to their calls, and don’t make eye contact. You could also wear a hat or sunglasses to disguise your eyes and add headphones, so they easily assume you didn’t hear them and not that you’re avoiding them.
2. Be Nosy Back
It might be petty, but sometimes if you can’t beat them, join them. If you catch a nosy neighbor watching you and your house, do it back. If they ask too many questions, do the same to them. Chances are, they’ll be so uncomfortable that they’ll stop doing the invasive things they do, just to keep you away!
3. Block Their View
If you’re looking for a quick fix that doesn’t involve scaring the introvert inside you, then there are a few physical ways to stop nosy neighbors. The easiest way to prevent a nosy neighbor from seeing you is to block what they can see.
You can buy grown trees and hedges to surround your fences. You can also buy curtains and veils that won’t block your light but will block their view through your windows.
Don’t Let Your Nosy Neighbors Ruin Your Sacred Home Life
No one understands more than an introvert just how important your home is. It’s a sacred place for your mental wellbeing, so any disturbances can be tough to handle. Nosy neighbors can make your home life miserable, but it doesn’t have to go that far. If you follow a few easy steps, you don’t have to hide away or worry about giving up your dream home.
Have you ever had any negative experiences with nosy people living next door? How did you confront them? We would like to hear your thoughts. Please share them with us in the comments below.
Becky Storey
About the Author: Becky Storey
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
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A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
Terça-feira, 21 de Abril de 2020
8 Emotional Manipulation Tactics and How to Recognize Them
8 Emotional Manipulation Tactics and How to Recognize Them
Sherrie Hurd, A.A.
learning-mind.com
Posted April 20th, 2020.
.Physical or verbal abuse is easy to recognize because you can see it or hear it. However, emotional manipulation tactics aren’t always obvious.
At some point in our lives, we’ve either witnessed emotional abuse, or we’ve been victims of this heartache. I can attest to being a survivor of a couple of decades of this type of abuse myself. Emotional abuse is hard to see sometimes, and that’s why, in my opinion, it’s one of the worst types of abuse of them all. It also leaves deep scars that only really strong individuals can carry.
Emotional manipulation tactics
Emotional abuse isn’t just a random form of abuse used out of anger or frustration. Not to excuse physical violence or verbal assault, but emotional abuse is sometimes planned and perfected before use. It sounds kind of evil, doesn’t it?
Well, in some cases, it is. In other cases, it comes from a long pattern of abusive behavior through generations. This is why we need to recognize tactics used by emotional abusers to manipulate people, and we need to put a stop to these subtle attacks.
Different tactics used in emotional abuse:
1. Getting close… fast
Individuals who use emotional manipulation tactics tend to act as though they are falling in love with you fast. If it’s not an intimate relationship, they may try to convince you that they are your best friend after only knowing you a short time. So, how does this become abusive?
Well, what happens is they tell you a few really deep things about themselves, and act as if no one else knows this about them. Then they use these secrets to coax information from you! Are you still wondering how this leads to manipulation?
Here’s the thing, what they tell you isn’t all that secret, but your secrets are. They use these things that you tell them to manipulate you, while the things they tell you, many other people already know. You see…it was a trick. Now, they have ammo against you.
2. Twisting facts
Emotional manipulators are experts at twisting facts. If they don’t straight out lie, they will exaggerate, say you said what they said, or simply pretend they never heard you say anything at all. They will lie in creative ways, and push the agenda that something happened in a way that it did not.
Twisting facts, for this type of abuser, is easy for them. They’ve been doing it most of their lives to get what they want and never be responsible.
3. The raised voice distraction
I am familiar with this one, but I only learned about it in the last couple of years. Until last year, I’d never seen a grown man throw a child-like tantrum when caught in the act. Not to give details, but he was using the raised voice distraction and intimidation tactic to get what he wanted… an apology, when he should have been apologizing.
You see, screaming or getting loud is shocking if you’re not used to that sort of behavior in a discussion or confrontation. Emotional manipulators use this tactic when there is nothing else they can use.
It took me a while to recognize what was happening, I stopped apologizing when I wasn’t in the wrong, and I made peace with the fact that he may leave. Truth is, when someone screams, threatens to leave or acts childlike, sometimes it’s best if they leave if they cannot stop. You have to come to terms with this because not only is raising the voice emotional abuse, it’s also verbal abuse as well.
4. Rushing decision making
Okay, this may sound weird, but I also started to catch on to this one lately. Emotional manipulators, when they want to do something they know would upset you, will ask your opinion in a rushed environment.
They will ask you questions as they are walking out the door, or by short text during a work break, or even ask right in the middle of an unrelated conversation. They assume you will just go along with whatever it is because you were caught off guard. Watch out for this seemingly innocent tactic, which is, in fact, emotional manipulation. It’s irritating.
5. Overusing the word “insecure”
No matter what’s bugging you, you must be “insecure”. This is one of the emotional manipulation tactics that drive me crazy. You see, if they are the type to flirt, and you get angry when you see it or find out, they will say you are insecure about getting angry. Here’s a lesson. YOU ARE NOT INSECURE BECAUSE YOU GET ANGRY.
I typed that in all caps so you will understand how important that is to remember. Just because you don’t want certain boundaries crossed by other women or men in your relationship doesn’t mean you are insecure. It means you stick to your morals and standards. And honestly, if they don’t stop using this word, then maybe you don’t need them. I absolutely hate this, and yes, it’s personal.
6. Running out
An emotional manipulator will leave the scene when they realize they haven’t got a chance in winning an argument. They secretly want you to chase after them, and they threaten to leave the relationship too. This is in intimate relationships mostly, of course. They may stay gone a few hours or all night, leaving you worried and nervous.
I think it’s one of the cruelest forms of emotional manipulation. If you’re caught off guard, you will cry and call them over and over trying to get them home. It’s okay, it takes a while to catch on.
Personally, when I decide to leave relationships or friendships, I don’t run out, scream, threaten or anything. I usually just have a nice calm “sit down” and explain that I no longer wish to continue in the relationship anymore. But I think long and hard before making this final decision.
All these theatricals that manipulators use are time wasters and abusive behavior. The next time it happens, try not to be frightened, and maybe even hope they are serious about leaving. You don’t need those games in your life….trust me.
7. Pretending to be dumb
Oh, and adults will pretend to be dumb too. If you tell someone you have boundaries, they will break them, and then say that they never understood exactly what you meant. This releases them from the responsibility of their actions.
They even say they forgot, or try to twist your words about what you did and did not want in a relationship. They play dumb, but you have to be smart, and call them on every single time they try this crap. It’s just one of many tactics of emotional manipulation used by predators. Show them that you know what they are doing.
8. Playing victim
I remember many times laying my standards and boundaries out on the table for the people I loved. I did it in the beginning so they had a chance to run if they wanted to. The problem is, sometimes they agreed to each and every one of the things I held important, only to break them later in the relationship. Then they played the victim when I got angry about broken boundaries and hurts.
You see, unfortunately, some people never plan to respect your boundaries and standards, but they still want to be in a relationship with you. What they do is hope that they can change the way you believe. If you are entering a relationship, please be clear on what you want, and if you both are too different, then just walk away.
Most people don’t change unless they make the decision to do so on their own. If someone is playing victim to you, remind them of the standards and boundaries you set in the beginning, and leave the door open for them if they wish to leave.
Why people who use these emotional manipulation tactics are the worst abusers
Do you know why emotional abuse is worse than any other abuse? It’s because emotional abuse doesn’t harm you physically, it’s more than screaming, and it doesn’t rape you. Emotional abuse goes beyond every muscle and fiber of your being and attacks the essence of who you are.
It makes you question everything. It makes you doubt your worth as well. I would never downplay other forms of abuse because I’ve been through them all, but the emotional abuse makes me angrier than all the others. Once I understand this is happening, I learn not to respond to the call to fight.
You can do this as well. It just takes a little education on the subject and a little practice. Do not let them take away your self-worth, and do not let them make you afraid to be alone. That’s all you need to fight with.
Sending blessings.
Sherrie Hurd
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
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A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: abuse, behavior, dark personalities, manipulation, mental health, personality, psychology, relationships, sherrie, sherrie h, sherrie hurd
7 Famous INTPs in Literature, Science and History
7 Famous INTPs in Literature, Science and History
Lottie Miles, M.A.
learning-mind.com
Posted April 20th, 2020.
.If you’ve taken the Myers-Briggs Personality Type test, you may have found that you fit into the ‘INTP’ category. This stands for introverted, intuitive, thinking, and perceiving. But what does it mean to have this personality type? And who can you relate to in popular culture? Let’s take a look at famous INTPs in more detail. We will try and uncover who from literature, science, and history fits into this pretty rare category.
What Is the INTP Personality Type?
People with the INTP personality type have their primary focus on the internal world rather than external. They are analytical and excellent problem solvers. Theory is the best friend of those with an INTP personality type. Moreover, they will constantly be striving for a theoretical explanation for what they witness in the external world.
INTPs, generally, have an above-average level of intelligence. Regarding social circles, as introverts, INTPs prefer a few select close friends rather than large friendship groups. However, their introversion does not make INTPs unapproachable. They are known for their loyalty, affection, and interest in people.
Today, we will talk about famous people with INTP personality traits who have made significant accomplishments in the fields of literature and science.
7 Famous INTPs in Literature, Science, and History
Albert Einstein
Albert Einstein was a theoretical physicist who pioneered the theory of relativity. He has retrospectively been assigned the INTP personality type and is probably the most famous and typical INTP. Whilst, Einstein did not take the Myers-Briggs test, his quirks suggest he should reside in this camp.
A reserved person, he was also known for being incredibly approachable and humble. Renowned for his acute intellect and ability to think outside the box. His INTP personality meant he went down in history as one of the greatest scientists of all time.
Hermione Granger
Hermione Granger, the well-loved Harry Potter heroine, is a classic INTP personality type. She is fiercely intelligent and has an insatiable thirst for knowledge. She has the ability to get herself and her friends Ron and Harry out of many a sticky situation. This highlights her excellent intuition and ability to think logically as well as creatively.
She also cares greatly for her friends and is unwaveringly loyal. Do you find yourself relating to Hermione? If you are unsure of your personality type, you may just be an INTP also.
Marie Curie
The first woman to win the Nobel Prize, Marie Curie was a physicist and chemist. She is well-known for her discovery of radium in 1898. An intellectual, Curie dedicated her life to scientific research and her work paved the way for many developments in cancer research.
Despite her fame and acute intellect, Marie Curie was modest and lived a largely private life. As an introverted problem solver, Marie Curie is one of the famous people with the INTP personality type.
Abraham Lincoln
The 16th president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln, served throughout the American Civil War. Lincoln is said to have taken an objective approach to decision making. Indeed, he favored seeing the bigger picture over deliberating over the minor details. He relied heavily on logic to deal with the difficult situations that crossed his path throughout his presidency.
Lincoln was also known for being a great debater and was a prominent contributor in The Great Debates of 1858. A true INTP if ever there was one.
Franz Kafka
The German-speaking novelist Franz Kafka is famous for his surrealist works of fiction. These include fantastic pieces like The Metamorphosis and The Trial. An introvert by nature, Kafka was also known as a loyal friend to those fortunate enough to make it into his social circle.
Furthermore, his obvious intelligence and deep-thinking nature are prominent throughout his books. Kafka had an unconventional approach to writing and a tendency to carve his own unique path. These are true traits of someone with an INTP personality type.
Jane Austen
Jane Austen was an English novelist who is well known for her fine-tuned social observations. She is also known for her accurate insight into the lives of women living in the 19th century. Her approach to writing was not typical of its time.
Indeed, her honest observations showed her ability to think outside the box. Moreover, the humor and irony that are present in her novels are demonstrative of her sharp mind, intuition, and skills of perception. If Austen was to take the Myers-Briggs personality test today, it’s likely she’d classify as an INTP personality type.
Charles Darwin
People with an INTP personality try to explain the world around them. It is their logic that helps them understand what they witness in everyday life. It may come as no surprise, therefore, to see that Charles Darwin falls into the INTP category.
The author of The Theory of Evolution, Darwin sought the order in his world and spent his life attempting to explain it. He even drew up a list of the pros and cons of marrying before he chose to pursue a wife!
INTPs Are Powerful
As you can see, being introverted, intuitive, thinking, and perceiving can certainly pave the way to success. Moreover, the INTP personality type resonates in key figures throughout history. These people have broken the mold and used their intellect and skills of perception to make a mark in the world.
Indeed, famous INTPs tend to be pioneers in their field, decision-makers, and creators of great works of literature. If you have an INTP personality type, you could just be about to make history.
References:
Lottie Miles
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=Lottie+Miles
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=lottie+miles
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: genius people, history, intelligence, introvert's world, lottie miles, myers-briggs type indicator, personality
Domingo, 19 de Abril de 2020
5 Signs the Proud Person in Your Life Is Just Arrogant.
5 Signs the Proud Person in Your Life Is Just Arrogant.
Lauren Edwards-Fowle,
M.Sc. & B.Sc.
learning-mind.com
Posted March 19th, 2020.
.Pride is the great quality of appreciating your successes and having confidence in your endeavors. However, when does pride become toxic and become a manifestation of arrogance? Could the proud person you know be just conceited? Do you sometimes feel that your significant other isn’t proud but has reached the tipping point of becoming arrogant?
What is the difference between pride and arrogance? Let’s take a look at how to work out whether a proud person is just conceited.
Defining pride:
The dictionary defines pride as:
“Feeling self-respect or pleasure in something by which you measure your self-worth; or being a reason for pride.”
Feelings of pride reflect your emotions arising from an accomplishment. Feeling proud of yourself is linked to an achievement or success that has rewarded your efforts with positivity.
Pride doesn’t just relate to yourself; you can be proud of others or proud of group achievements. It connects with other feelings, such as honor, dignity, and self-respect. Pride is justifiable and has an identifiable reason.
Confidence is not a bad trait, and being proud of your successes can lead to improvements in self-esteem. The problem, of course, comes with overwhelming pride, and when confidence eclipses those positive character traits and becomes arrogance.
Defining arrogance:
Arrogance is not the same thing as pride; a proud person is not necessarily conceited. Being arrogant is similar to other negative perspectives:
- Vanity
- Conceitedness
- Selfishness
- Disrespectfulness
An arrogant person believes himself or herself to be superior to others, whether or not they have a logical reason to think so. They consider themselves more valuable, their contributions more important, and have excessive expectations of their abilities.
This leads to dominance, an elevated impression of a person’s talent, and a lack of regard or respect for other people around them. Conceitedness is not justifiable, is not necessarily linked to any achievements or successes, and applies only to that person’s opinion of themselves.
Signs that a proud person is just arrogant
1. They demand to be the center of attention
People who have achieved great things have every right to be proud. However, talent speaks for itself, and sometimes the most successful people shy away from the limelight. A conceited person will insist on being the center of attention at all times.
This can manifest as:
- Talking over people in conversation
- Raising their voice to be heard, or drowning out others
- Turning every subject around to talk about themselves
- Having a dominant personality
- Refusing to let anybody else make decisions
2. They feel threatened by other proud people
Somebody who has much to feel confident about will welcome interesting conversations, personal challenges, and meeting new people. If you are confident in yourself and have a healthy level of self-respect, it is unusual to feel intimidated by others.
An arrogant person will often feel ‘at risk’ when confronted with other people who, perhaps, would be able to spot the flaws in their persona and contradict their boasting of accomplishments.
3. They are often irritated or annoyed by people they perceive as weak
Selfish people don’t have much time for others, and will usually try to surround themselves with a social group they consider to be their peers. Conceited people also often attempt to ingratiate themselves with connections with greater achievements than their own, either to gain a higher social status or because they believe themselves to be on a par.
Likewise, an arrogant person will find quieter people or those they consider to be weak an annoyance. They do not have empathy, will not be willing to spend any time with people who don’t further their objectives, and will quickly become frustrated and annoyed.
4. They always believe themselves to be right
Vanity means believing your ideas, suggestions or thoughts to be far superior to those that anybody else could come up with. Arrogant people are uncompromising and extremely difficult to work and live with.
Have you ever seen somebody watching an expert on the news, or viewing a professional sports event, and insist that they know better, or could have done a better job? That is an example of excessive pride, whereby a person truly thinks his or her power of thought, and physical performance is better than anybody else’s – no matter how much evidence there might be to the contrary!
5. They have no respect for other people
If people have an extremely high opinion of themselves, they probably don’t have much room in their psyche for considering anybody else.
A person with excess pride will often show this in lots of small ways, which can conclusively point to their lack of respect for other people:
- Always being late
- Never doing a favor for anybody else
- Having high expectations from the people in their lives
- Being unwilling to show any generosity
- Speaking over people
- Putting the phone down without saying goodbye
- Interrupting constantly
Conclusion
Being proud and confident are not bad qualities to have. Everybody should feel a sense of pride when they have achieved something difficult, or shown resilience and forbearing. However, arrogance is something quite different, and spending a lot of time around it can be draining.
If you think that the proud person in your life may be arrogant, perhaps now is the time to address the problem. They may not realize that their behaviors have gone too far, and being conscious of how they come across could be a wake-up call to reel in the temptation to dominate every relationship.
An innately conceited person might not be capable of change, in which case the best thing to do is to consider your capacity to manage and cope with their personality. If it is harming you, and you constantly feel exhausted by having to make up for their bad behavior, it may be time to start putting yourself first.
Lauren Edwards-Fowle
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=Lauren+Edwards-Fowle
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A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
Quinta-feira, 16 de Abril de 2020
4 Differences Between Antisocial and Introvert: Which One Are You?
4 Differences Between Antisocial and Introvert: Which One Are You?
Becky Storey.
https://www.learning-mind.com/
April 16th, 2020
.Introverts are almost always mistaken for being antisocial. The immediate assumption is that they don’t want to be around others because they don’t like anyone. Their reclusiveness is seen as hostile. Antisocial and introvert could appear similar at surface level, but they aren’t the same at all.
Antisocial people could be introverted or extroverted. Being antisocial refers to your behavior towards others. Introvert and extrovert are labels attributed to the way you think and feel about being around others.
What Are Antisocial and Introvert?
Introvert
Being an introvert means your energy levels are depleted quickly from social interaction. While an introvert might also suffer from social anxiety or even be an antisocial person, the “introvert” label doesn’t require it. Introverts can be confident and happy to socialize within their chosen boundaries.
Antisocial
Introvert and antisocial people differ greatly in their willingness to interact with others. Antisocial people are actively unwilling to interact with others. They are often hostile and angry towards other people. Antisocial people, unlike introverts, have no concern for the unwritten rules of social interactions. They are cynical and unempathetic towards others.
Antisocial people will typically prioritize themselves, their work, or their own fun over friends and socializing.
The Differences Between Antisocial and Introvert
1. Energy Drain
Introverts are defined by their loss of energy when they’re interacting with other people. This could be worst in large crowds, or with one on one meetings. It all depends on the person and the intensity of the interaction. In order to replenish their energy, introverts need to be alone or with a small, peaceful group of people they’re close to.
This can be seen as being antisocial because they might leave parties early, or steer clear of big groups socializing altogether. However, these choices have nothing to do with how much they like or even love the people around them, they’re just avoiding mental exhaustion.
Antisocial people have no concept of the energy drain. Their decision to stay way has nothing to do with their energy, and all to do with how little they like being in the company of others. Antisocial people could be extroverts too. Their energy might not be diminished by being around other people, they just don’t enjoy socializing or interacting with them.
2. Care and Concern
By nature, introverts tend to be very empathetic. They care for other people’s feelings deeply. Introverts are often very aware of their own emotions, and this makes them extra perceptive of the emotions of others. They never want to make others feel the kind of discomfort they do at times, so they always make sure to take care of the feelings of the people around them.
Antisocial people differ in that they have little to no care or concern for the feelings of the people around them. They aren’t interested in how their words or actions affect others. Unlike introverts, antisocial people don’t follow the unwritten rules of society or social niceties.
Introverts will usually struggle to admit when they want to leave a gathering or that they don’t have the energy to attend an event. They feel upset and worried that they might hurt someone. Antisocial people will openly admit that they aren’t having fun, or don’t want to go, with no concern for how it might make anyone else feel.
3. Relationships and Connections
Despite plenty of misconceptions, introverts can have plenty of friends and loved ones they’re close to. Many people assume that introverts are shy and reclusive, but this isn’t necessarily the case.
Introverts might be loners, or they might be friendly social people. Introversion is about energy, not the number of friends you have. Introverts are also presumed to be shy and struggle to make new friends. This is, of course, not true. Introverts could happily make new friends, and easily maintain a fun group of old friends.
Antisocial people, on the other hand, don’t choose to make new connections often and likely maintain a very small circle of friends and family. They would rather be alone as often as possible and don’t feel that their lives would be improved with more relationships or connections.
4. Enjoyment Gained
An important difference between people who are antisocial and those who are introverted is how much or how little they enjoy company. Introverts are often shamed for being “boring” and “never want to have any fun”. Admittedly, introverts might choose quieter activities given the choice, but there’s no reason why an introvert can’t enjoy being social.
Introverts can still be party-goers and fun-lovers and enjoy doing things with their friends and the people they love. They might avoid or be apprehensive about talking to large groups of new people, but that’s only down to the impending exhaustion, not an aversion to socializing.
Antisocial people are typically the complete opposite. They genuinely don’t care for socializing or expect to have fun with groups of people. They might have a small circle of friends, but they likely don’t require their presence for excitement or fun.
For too long now, introverts have been mislabelled as antisocial, and it’s just not fair. Introverts can be exciting, adventurous people who like the company of others. They just keep it within their boundaries and protect their energy. If a person is antisocial, then they aren’t protecting themselves, they just don’t care at all. This is the basic difference between antisocial and introvert.
Becky Storey
About the Author: Becky Storey
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=Becky+Storey
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=becky+storey
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: becky storey, behavior, communication, empathy, introversion, introvert's world, mental health, personality, psychology
Quinta-feira, 9 de Abril de 2020
The Power of Introverts: Study Finds Loners Are Crucial to Species Survival.
The Power of Introverts:
Study Finds Loners Are Crucial to Species Survival.
Becky Storey.
https://www.learning-mind.com/
April 7th, 2020
.For years now, loners and introverts have been the outsiders of society. They’re considered to be strange and boring, and not worth inviting to your events. The truth is, introverts and loners are just misunderstood. Finally, scientific research has proven that introverted people and those who choose to be loners are essential to our survival. Researchers at Princeton University discovered that without the power of introverts, our species wouldn’t survive.
What Is A Loner?
Loners exist all over the world, from insects to mammals and even single-cell organisms. Small herds of Wildebeests sit out on the great migration the rest of their species is taking. Locusts leave the swarm and return to a simple life as a grasshopper.
A loner actively avoids most interaction with other people and chooses not to make many personal connections. This differs from introverts slightly, in that, an introvert does enjoy making connections and can be social creatures, their energy just depletes quickly with too much “full-on” interaction.
Loners and introverts are similar though, in that they both choose to stay away from busy places and large crowds. They exist on the outskirts of society typically, not particularly concerned with getting involved.
Both types of people enjoy being at home in their own peace and quiet. In these difficult times of social distancing, surely, we need more people like this. An introvert’s true power really shows when in order to save the world, we have to stay home.
The Study: The Eco-evolutionary Significance of “Loners”
A study carried out at Princeton University that was published in early 2020 has proven the true power of an introvert once and for all.
The researchers used slime mold and amoebas as their participants in the experiment. Corina Tarnita, one of the scientists involved in this study, explained that though it might have been easier to draw conclusions from wildebeests and humans, they don’t lend themselves to these kinds of experiments well.
The Princeton study set out to prove the power of introverts by using an amoeba called Dictyostelium discoideum. The amoeba cells join together, forming large slime mold towers, gross. The cells join together by nature, but some stay behind.
Proof of The Power of Introverts
Corina Tarnita revealed that they found more loners than they ever expected. Up to 30% of the cells they studied chose to be loners. Even when they provided the most optimized conditions for the slime molds, still some stayed as outsiders.
After painstaking research, they concluded that these loners were essential to the survival of the species – whether they knew it themselves or not. If predators attack a group, the introverts and loners will remain. If a disease takes hold, the introverts and loners will stop it from jumping to the whole population. Possibly apt for the current climate.
When group activity risks group failure, the loners and introverts have the power to save the species.
Other Studies on The Power of Introverts
Susan Cain is a writer and expert on the introvert mind. In her book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, she explains how being an introvert can be evolutionarily beneficial.
Depending on the era and the circumstances, being an introvert or extrovert can be what dictates your success in life.
In the very distant past, during the hight of nomadic and hunter-gatherer eras, being extroverted was essential. Being out and about, making connections to get supplies and resources was the best way to secure your lifestyle. As we started to form settlements and took on farming instead of hunting, trades instead of bartering, introversion became a better way of living.
In our modern times, both will do you just fine, depending on the path you choose. Until now, that is. When staying home means protecting our lives, introverts have the upper hand. Right now, survival relies on staying out of the crowd and who has more experience with that than introverts and loners.
The Power of Introverts in the Current Climate
Never has being an introvert or a loner been more beneficial for our survival. The coronavirus pandemic is fast-moving and potentially deadly. Fortunately, the best way to stop it in its tracks is to just stay home. This couldn’t be much easier for introverts, who probably choose to stay home even without the threat of a dangerous virus. We’re saving lives doing things we always do.
If we were thinking in just black and white, which thankfully we aren’t, introverts would be the most likely to survive this outbreak. By not leaving the house out of boredom or desperation, we are in no danger. Introverts would survive in a black and white situation, leaving enough people behind to prevent total extinction.
If anyone ever tells you that introverts aren’t any use in modern society, you can tell them that! Staying home right now will save lives. In the future, even without a virus threatening our way of life, introverts and loners help to prevent dangerous overcrowding, pollution and the spread of violent outbreaks like riots and protests gone wrong.
Introverts and loners have been proven to be scientifically essential for our survival. Not just for humans, but for animals, bugs and icky slime molds too. Now more than ever, it’s time to let your introvert flag fly. Stay home, stay safe, save lives.
References:
Becky Storey
About the Author: Becky Storey
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=Becky+Storey
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=becky+storey
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: becky storey, evolution, humankind, introversion, introvert's world, mental health, personality, psychology, society
Quarta-feira, 19 de Fevereiro de 2020
5 Signs You Could Be an Insecure Overachiever and How It Ruins Your Life
5 Signs You Could Be an Insecure Overachiever and How It Ruins Your Life
Becky Storey.
https://www.learning-mind.com/
February 18, 2020
.An insecure overachiever is someone who constantly strives to do better but never feels like they reach it. They tend to believe that their worth is based on their job, work or career. As a result, they are not confident in their achievements and crave praise to remind them that they are good enough. This impaired thinking is often based on past childhood experiences and poorly directed praise from their parents and role-models.
Overachievers with hidden insecurities are likely to be highly critical of their own work performance and have an unrealistic view of their own talents and abilities. They fear being inadequate, so they go above and beyond the call of duty to prove themselves to their co-workers and bosses.
You might be an insecure overachiever without even realizing it. It can be disguised as having general anxietytowards work or having too much passion for what you do. This makes it attractive to employers. They are able to ignore the dangerous effects this personality trait might have on a person and instead revel in the benefits of having an endlessly determined employee.
Signs You Could Be an Insecure Overachiever:
You Work Extra Long Hours
The trouble with needing to prove that you’re a hard worker is that there are very few ways to show how hard you’ve worked – especially when you struggle to feel pride in what you’ve produced. The usual way forward for an overachiever is to measure the hours you’ve worked. To this kind of personality, long hours equates to hard work and success.
These days, there are an awful lot of insecure workaholics and overachievers. Most workplaces are filled with people who never feel like they’ve done enough. This means long workdays are pretty commonplace. Like a vicious cycle, when they see others working long hours, overachievers feel like they have to do the same. There’s nothing worse than being at the bottom of the barrel, even if it’s entirely in your head.
Overachievers who suffer from insecurities find it hard to call it a day when a task hasn’t been finished. Instead of letting go until the next morning, they’ll work into the night. This can lead to all-nighters and sacrificing any other personal needs until the work is finished.
You Take Criticism Hard
An overachiever with self-esteem issues thrives on praise and validation. They need to know that their hard work has paid off, and they need to know that other people see it too. They are constantly trying to be the very best in their career and won’t be comfortable with anything less.
Unfortunately, it’s not possible to always produce flawless work. Sometimes, even when it’s minor, there are improvements to be made. To a perfectionist, like most insecure achievers tend to be, any form of criticism is hard to handle.
Hearing that the work they’ve produced isn’t perfect can send an insecure overachiever into a downward spiral. It could lead to even more excessive work hours and pressure, all in the name of self-doubt. This could result in feeling unworthy of their job and previous career success.
You Have Little Time for Other Interests
As an insecure overachiever, your life revolves around your work. This means there is little time for a social life, a family life, or any other hobbies. Weekends, nights and even holidays are spent working in the hopes of furthering your career and doing the very best you can do.
Prioritizing is also a difficulty for insecure overachievers. They regularly put work above anything else because they see it as the most important factor in their lives. Without it, their self-worth depletes and they lose their sense of identity. Constantly working allows them to feel the never-ending stream of self-esteem that they crave so much.
Having no time for other interests can make a person narrow-minded, though, and results in their work suffering. If you’ve ever looking to shed your overachiever skin, the best way to start is by loosening your schedule.
You Never Feel Good Enough
A key part of being an insecure overachiever is always feeling like your performance isn’t enough. You constantly strive to be better but never achieve it because the goal is distant, unrealistic, and often always moving. Overachievers who are secretly insecure rarely see the true value in the work that they produce, instead often nit-picking at its minor flaws. They are always searching for places to improve.
Self-critical overachievers are typically looking for praise in everything they do but aren’t always good at receiving it. They want to be told that they’re successful but struggle to believe it. This could come across as humble but is, in fact, the result of deep insecurity.
You Believe Your Success Is Just Luck
Instead of feeling confident in their skills and abilities, overachievers often remain insecure and have trouble believing that they have earned their career success. Instead, they assume that it’s just a case of “right place, right time” and maybe, extra hard work.
Insecure overachievers often suffer from imposter syndrome. This is the term used for people who don’t believe they deserve the recognition they’ve received. An overachiever with imposter syndrome fears that one day they’ll be exposed as a “fraud”. They see themselves as unworthy of their success and assume that one day someone will notice that they’ve never truly been good at their job, only lucky in the right moments.
Are You an Insecure Overachiever?
Being an insecure overachiever can be a pre-curser to all sorts of anxiety conditions and is dangerous for your health. The pressure to always be your very best, even when the “best” doesn’t really exist, creates stress on the body. There is hope though, with someone to talk to and good people around you, it is possible to undo the effects of insecurities and regain balance over your life.
References:
Overachievers with hidden insecurities are likely to be highly critical of their own work performance and have an unrealistic view of their own talents and abilities. They fear being inadequate, so they go above and beyond the call of duty to prove themselves to their co-workers and bosses.
You might be an insecure overachiever without even realizing it. It can be disguised as having general anxietytowards work or having too much passion for what you do. This makes it attractive to employers. They are able to ignore the dangerous effects this personality trait might have on a person and instead revel in the benefits of having an endlessly determined employee.
Signs You Could Be an Insecure Overachiever:
You Work Extra Long Hours
The trouble with needing to prove that you’re a hard worker is that there are very few ways to show how hard you’ve worked – especially when you struggle to feel pride in what you’ve produced. The usual way forward for an overachiever is to measure the hours you’ve worked. To this kind of personality, long hours equates to hard work and success.
These days, there are an awful lot of insecure workaholics and overachievers. Most workplaces are filled with people who never feel like they’ve done enough. This means long workdays are pretty commonplace. Like a vicious cycle, when they see others working long hours, overachievers feel like they have to do the same. There’s nothing worse than being at the bottom of the barrel, even if it’s entirely in your head.
Overachievers who suffer from insecurities find it hard to call it a day when a task hasn’t been finished. Instead of letting go until the next morning, they’ll work into the night. This can lead to all-nighters and sacrificing any other personal needs until the work is finished.
You Take Criticism Hard
An overachiever with self-esteem issues thrives on praise and validation. They need to know that their hard work has paid off, and they need to know that other people see it too. They are constantly trying to be the very best in their career and won’t be comfortable with anything less.
Unfortunately, it’s not possible to always produce flawless work. Sometimes, even when it’s minor, there are improvements to be made. To a perfectionist, like most insecure achievers tend to be, any form of criticism is hard to handle.
Hearing that the work they’ve produced isn’t perfect can send an insecure overachiever into a downward spiral. It could lead to even more excessive work hours and pressure, all in the name of self-doubt. This could result in feeling unworthy of their job and previous career success.
You Have Little Time for Other Interests
As an insecure overachiever, your life revolves around your work. This means there is little time for a social life, a family life, or any other hobbies. Weekends, nights and even holidays are spent working in the hopes of furthering your career and doing the very best you can do.
Prioritizing is also a difficulty for insecure overachievers. They regularly put work above anything else because they see it as the most important factor in their lives. Without it, their self-worth depletes and they lose their sense of identity. Constantly working allows them to feel the never-ending stream of self-esteem that they crave so much.
Having no time for other interests can make a person narrow-minded, though, and results in their work suffering. If you’ve ever looking to shed your overachiever skin, the best way to start is by loosening your schedule.
You Never Feel Good Enough
A key part of being an insecure overachiever is always feeling like your performance isn’t enough. You constantly strive to be better but never achieve it because the goal is distant, unrealistic, and often always moving. Overachievers who are secretly insecure rarely see the true value in the work that they produce, instead often nit-picking at its minor flaws. They are always searching for places to improve.
Self-critical overachievers are typically looking for praise in everything they do but aren’t always good at receiving it. They want to be told that they’re successful but struggle to believe it. This could come across as humble but is, in fact, the result of deep insecurity.
You Believe Your Success Is Just Luck
Instead of feeling confident in their skills and abilities, overachievers often remain insecure and have trouble believing that they have earned their career success. Instead, they assume that it’s just a case of “right place, right time” and maybe, extra hard work.
Insecure overachievers often suffer from imposter syndrome. This is the term used for people who don’t believe they deserve the recognition they’ve received. An overachiever with imposter syndrome fears that one day they’ll be exposed as a “fraud”. They see themselves as unworthy of their success and assume that one day someone will notice that they’ve never truly been good at their job, only lucky in the right moments.
Are You an Insecure Overachiever?
Being an insecure overachiever can be a pre-curser to all sorts of anxiety conditions and is dangerous for your health. The pressure to always be your very best, even when the “best” doesn’t really exist, creates stress on the body. There is hope though, with someone to talk to and good people around you, it is possible to undo the effects of insecurities and regain balance over your life.
References:
Becky Storey
About the Author: Becky Storey
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=Becky+Storey
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=becky+storey
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: becky storey, criticism, mental health, perfectionism, personality, psychology, self-esteem, stress, success skills, work
Sexta-feira, 7 de Fevereiro de 2020
What Is a Spiritual Atheist and What It Means to Be One
What Is a Spiritual Atheist and What It Means to Be One
Becky Storey.
https://www.learning-mind.com/
February 6, 2020
.Spirituality can be a very vague term and has many unique definitions depending on who you ask. It is often assumed to be connected to religions, but some might disagree. Spiritual atheists aren’t religious at all but instead, believe in “spirit” by another definition.
To put it simply, a spiritual person is someone who is not concerned with material matters. They are concerned about the universe itself and use this feeling to navigate their days. This can be called an “energy”. We all have our own energy, as does the universe. Energy can be a feeling, an emotion, or just a “vibe”.
What Is a Spiritual Atheist?
A spiritual atheist is someone who, unlike a religious person, does not believe in any “God”. Instead, they believe in a higher consciousness that cannot be represented as a physical being. They believe the universe governs itself through actions and intentions.
This spirit flows amongst us all and connects everyone and everything on every scale, from minor coincidences to major global changes. Spiritual atheists believe each person has a soul that should be tended to, and a hard to define spirit which flows amongst us, similar to the energy, but more personal and unique to the individual.
Spiritual atheists believe in ideas like Karma, which govern us through consequences equal to our actions. If you put good into the universe, you will have a good life in return. This contrasts with the religious idea that God decides our fate.
Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson considers himself a spiritual atheist and in one famous quote, explains why the universe connects us all and why our lives are more meaningful than they might seem at times.
He says: “We are all connected; To each other, biologically. To the earth, chemically. And to the rest of the universe, atomically.”
In our modern times, religion is becoming less popular, especially among young people. The advances in science can make religion seem unappealing, and yet still, we crave meaning. Spiritual atheists find meaning in their lives through devotion to the universe, others and themselves. Their purpose is to improve, nurture and learn in order to reach their true path.
The Butterfly Effect
Spiritual Atheism can be linked to the Butterfly Effect – both a spiritual and physics-based theory. Spirituality and science are becoming more linked, and this is no exception.
The butterfly effect tells us that the tiniest of actions, such as a butterfly flapping its wings, can have massive impacts. It may be far in the future or far away, but every action has a reaction.
In spiritual terms, this means a spiritual atheist is more compassionate and considerate of the world around them as well as themselves. They are aware of their actions and behave intentionally to influence the world in their chosen way.
How Does a Spiritual Atheist Think?
Spiritual atheists are more aware of their thoughts and mental state than others. They may practice meditation to help them understand themselves and discover their true purpose.
They are deep thinkers and often philosophers. It means that they seek to answer the most important questions in life without relying on the idea of a physical God. Instead, they take responsibility for their own lives.
Spiritual atheists govern their own lives using their own rules, which typically develop around their core values and priorities. These tend to include matters such as kindness and compassion for other beings.
These values dictate their behavior in order to create positive karma for themselves and add positivity to the world around them. This differs greatly from religion, where the rules they must live by are dictated in scripture.
The beliefs of spiritual atheists are similar to those of the Buddhists. Buddhism is a path to enlightenment and living life well. It is often misunderstood as worshiping Buddha, but true believers will note that the intention is to follow in his path, not pray and devote themselves to him.
Why Spiritual Atheism Makes Sense
Ultimately, being a spiritual atheist is a way to add meaning and value to your life without relying on the structure of religion and debating the rules it sets. For matters such as the clothes we wear and even the food we eat, religion can feel outdated. Spirituality allows us to stay connected to the universe and each other without the obstacle’s religion brings.
The issue of an all-powerful and almost supernatural “god” choosing who lives or dies or suffers and succeeds is widely debated. With spirituality, we understand that we are in charge of what happens to us.
Through matters like Karma, the butterfly effect and responsibility, we dictate what happens to us. It also brings comfort to the suffering we don’t feel we deserve, by explaining that the universe cannot always be predicted.
We put faith in the idea that everything happens for a reason, even if we can’t see it yet. Each moment of our lives is connected, and one tragedy could change our lives for the better eventually.
Why It Encourages Self-Improvement
Spiritual atheism encourages self-betterment, while some complain that religion does not. Instead of reliance on an external God to “guide us”, we take responsibility for our own actions and the consequences involved. This encourages compassion for our fellow beings, the desire to work on ourselves and more self-awareness.
Spiritual atheism can seem to be a complicated concept and may differ in the mind of each person, but it is simple at heart. It is the belief that the universe is connected and that our actions, thoughts, and intentions have an impact on ourselves, others and the world around us.
Spiritual atheists believe in being positive influences on all scales to better themselves and the way they live. They work towards enlightenment, which will allow them to discover their true purpose on this Earth.
Between this and their values and morals, a spiritual atheist will devote their lives to achieving these goals and living as fully and as well as possible.
References:
Becky Storey
About the Author: Becky Storey
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=Becky+Storey
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=becky+storey
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: becky storey, consciousness, karma, life purpose, personality, religion, self-improvement, spirituality
Quinta-feira, 6 de Fevereiro de 2020
Conversational Narcissism: How to Deal with People Who Have This Annoying Trait
Conversational Narcissism:
How to Deal with People Who Have This Annoying Trait.
Sherrie Hurd.
learning-mind.com
Posted February 5th, 2020.
Again, here’s another topic you may have missed in life, or maybe not. Do you know someone who is a conversational narcissist? I was unaware that I was talking about myself too much. I was unaware that I was sharing bits of information and hardly asking any questions. My best friend was the biggest victim of my conversational narcissism. And no, I am not ashamed to admit that I have problems with this because we all have issues.
Plus, did you know that there is a bit of conversational type narcissism in all of us. That’s right. So, let’s break this down so you can understand…unless, of course, you already know what I’m about to say. Some people tend to be miles ahead of me in these areas. After all, we’re all learning, every day.
What exactly is conversational narcissism?
It is the tendency to take over conversations whether in obvious ways or more subtle tactics. This keeps the conversation directed toward one person.
Okay, this is the thing. Narcissism isn’t always so obvious. It can hide behind many things, and it can also be there without the knowledge of the one using the toxic behavior.
Conversational narcissism is also easy to fall into, like a subtle trap. You can be having a normal conversation and suddenly find yourself hogging the spotlight. Then there are those who are always utilizing conversational narcissism, and there are ways to spot them. There are also ways to deal with them as well. If you realize this is you, then we can work together to deal with ourselves.
What do toxic conversationalists look like?
Conversational narcissists always shift responsesback to themselves. Here’s an example:
- Shelly: “I bought a sweater at the new boutique in town today”.
- Patricia: “Really, yeah, I have been meaning to stop in there. I need a few sweaters and shirts myself.”
Notice how Patricia heard the sentence that Shelly spoke but quickly made the conversation about herself. She never asked what color the sweater was or if Shelly liked the sweater. This is one way to spot a narcissist of this breed.
Narcissism in conversations can also be used with small responses, like this example:
- Michael: “Hey man, guess what! I aced that chemistry test.”
- Peter: “Good.”
- Michael: “I thought I was going to fail, but I pulled it off.”
- Peter: “Yep, you did.”
Now watch what happens after Michael finishes telling Peter about his test.
- Michael: “So, how did you do on your test?”
- Peter: “Man, I did pretty well, but I think some of those questions weren’t in the study material.”
- Michael: “Really, I thought they were. But it’s great that you did well. I’m proud of you.”
- Peter: “Yeah, I studied, but I knew most of the other material, so it pulled me through.”
Notice how when Michael tells Peter about doing well on his test, Peter uses short disinterested answers. He is either not really interested, or just not paying attention. But when Michael asks about Peter’s test, Peter is ready to talk, even as Michael congratulates him at length.
A conversational narcissist can also just be a plain spotlight thief, taking up the entirety of the conversation. I don’t think I need to elaborate on that one. We’ve seen them and we’ve been them, for the most part.
How can we deal with this toxic behavior?
When it comes to dealing with a conversational narcissist, the point is, you cannot change anyoneunless they want to change. However, here are the best ways to deal with the narcissism of this type.
1. You will listen… a lot
When you’re speaking to a narcissist, expect to listen much more than speak. Since a narcissist loves to talk about themselves, and you’re listening, then you’re, in effect, dealing with someone who’s engaging in a toxic conversation with you. If avoidance isn’t an option, then listening is the next option.
2. Have low expectations
When talking with a person of this nature, don’t expect them to be respectful enough to listen more than usual. I mean, if they are used to doing all the talking, then that is what you should expect. In fact, expect less even. If you do this, the conversation won’t be as painful as it could be.
3. Don’t try to challenge them
Although you may want to tell them the truth about what they’re doing, just don’t, especially while they’re in the middle of a conversation. Don’t try to challenge their topic with more of your day, or your happiness. They usually care only about getting their ideas and points across.
4. Use this as a learning tool
It may be incredibly painful to listen to someone go on and on about themselves, but you can learn things from this. You can learn patience, focus, and self-esteem, and these things can help you in other areas of your life.
5. You can learn what NOT to do
While listening to a conversational narcissist, pay close attention to anything that might sound like yourself. As I said, we all hog the conversation from time to time and listening to a severe case of narcissism, you can recognize all the things you need to improve on with yourself.
Let’s deal with them, and let’s deal with us
Before we try to deal with others who have toxic conversation skills, we should do a quick check on ourselves. If we don’t see anything wrong, then we should listen to others, as I mentioned above.
Also, ask your best friend, and remind her/him to be honest, and tell you if you are taking over the conversation too often. Remind your best friend that you will not be offended by the truth because learning the truth is the pathway to change. Let’s work a bit on our conversation skills, shall we?
Sherrie Hurd
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie+hurd
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=sherrie+hurd
- Also: https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
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