A Chama da Ascensão
A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e a verdade libertar-nos-á!
Quando o Poder do Amor superar o Amor pelo Poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix.
Sexta-feira, 22 de Maio de 2020
Worry Time: How to Schedule Your Anxieties
Worry Time: How to Schedule Your Anxieties
Sherrie Hurd, A.A.
learning-mind.com
Posted May 22nd, 2020.
.There’s a new way of dealing with anxiety. It’s a unique process called “worry time”, which schedules a time for your obsessive concerns.
For those who suffer from anxiety, worrying seems like a normal part of life. On a personal level, I worry way too much during the day, then keep myself up at night doing the same thing. I feel like I’m not in control of this worry.
Many of you may feel the same way, especially when an additional crisis is added to the mix. But here’s some good news: you can schedule worry time and this allows you to address your concerns, and then move on to other things the rest of the time.
What Is Worry Time?
Worry time is a cognitive-behavioral concept which actually helps you control your obsessive thoughts. It’s a paradox. You will purposely decide to worry at a specific time of the day. Why? Well, since you’re stressing all the time and wasting so much of your life with concerns, you can at least practice compartmentalizing that worry. You can do something else for the rest of the time.
For instance, take time to worry, then have productive thoughts the remainder of the day. So, since this is a schedule to worry, there have to be steps to follow in order to do it correctly, right? Let’s take a look.
How to Schedule Time to Worry
Halt your obsessive thoughts for a moment and listen up. Worrying is not so bad when it’s controlled. Although you assume you cannot control it, worry after consistent training can indeed be trained. Here are the steps you use for worry time:
1. Schedule the time
The first thing you must do is decide what times of the day you should worry. Yes, I know that sounds kind of silly, but cognitive-behavior therapy would disagree with you.
So, use a calendar, planner, or notepad and write down the time of day you wish to schedule a time for obsessive thoughts. A session of between 15 and 30 minutes is ideal for worry time. After that, you can go about your positive daily routines. And by the way, it’s advised that you do not schedule this right before bedtime. It’s more than likely to keep you from sleeping well.
2. Write things down
During your scheduled time to worry, make sure you write down your thoughts. You don’t have to find a solution in this 15-30-minute window, but if you do, then that is fine too. The objective is just to get your thoughts onto paper, so you can see exactly what’s troubling you, instead of just obsessing.
There is therapeutic power in taking thought and turning it into written information. You take it from you and put it somewhere else, and at the same time, you see all the truth in the thoughts as well.
3. Keep worries inside worry time
If you start to worry about things outside your designated worry time, then stop immediately. You must remind yourself that worry can only happen during its scheduled time. This will not be easy, and it will take some time to remember. Consistently catching your worries and putting them back into those neat little slots of your day will help you gain control.
Also, when worry time comes, please don’t dwell about all the times you worried outside of worry time. It’s counterproductive and just silly.
4. End of the week reflections
At the end of each week, go back and read the things you wrote during your scheduled worry time. Are there any patterns? What are the things you ponder about the most? Go ahead and ask yourself any questions you want in order to understand more about your concerns. And yes, you should also schedule the “end of the week reflection on your worries” just like you did with the worry time in each day.
Your reflections are healthy, but take care and don’t dwell on repetitive problems and feel defeated. Just keep moving forward with the same schedule as before.
5. Make it long term
After a week or so of this practice, you may want to just continue. In fact, I recommend this. If you practice this routine for the long term, you will strengthen your thoughts, make it easier to control your worries, and also learn more about structure and focus. So, just keep going and see where it leads you.
Worry isn’t all bad
It’s not horrible to be concerned about things in life. Right now, I am concerned about our world and the nation in which I live. Every day, I check the headlines to see if things have improved, but sadly, it seems to get worse day by day. With scheduling worry time, I can allow myself to deconstruct these headlines and keep them from taking over my entire day with stress and anxiety.
You’re not alone. I have anxiety and many others do as well. But the fact is, you don’t need to have anxiety to practice worry time. You can schedule even the smallest amount of time for concerns each day. Whether large or small, your worries can be set aside for examination. I coax you to try this technique.
Let me know how it works for you!
References:
Sherrie Hurd
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie+hurd
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=sherrie+hurd
- Also: https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
Terça-feira, 19 de Maio de 2020
5 Ugly Truths about Life That Will Make You a Better Person
5 Ugly Truths about Life That Will Make You a Better Person
Sherrie Hurd, A.A.
learning-mind.com
Posted May 19th, 2020.
.It isn’t always easy to become a higher version of yourself. There are ugly truths that must be faced in order to change for the better.
I’m not here to say you are a bad person. I cannot make that judgment. But the truth remains, there is always room for improvement, and you can see it in what you’re not doing.For instance, take a moment and write down a few positive actions you’re taking. Don’t write down your qualities, no, think about what you’ve actually done that’s brought about a positive outcome or helped someone. Ugly truths say that list may be short. It may be hard to think of any positive actions you’ve taken lately, even though you do mean well.
I can attest to this myself. I talk about all the things I want to do to help someone, but I only accomplish around a fraction of those things. To be a better person in life, I have to glance into the ugly face of truth for myself. There are many things I can do in order to become the person I want to be. It is hard sometimes to face up to this.
There are a few examples of ugly truths, in case you’re wondering what’s holding you back. Take a look.
Ugly truths that bring good outcomes
1. The world only wants what you can provide
No matter how good of a person you think you are, the world only cares how much you can provide with the skills you possess. Do you think the world thinks about your charming personality or your empathetic nature?
I’m sorry, but to the world, these things are just pretty icing on a cake that may or may not taste good to them. What the world wants is someone who can make money, build things, produce things, and provide any demand it throws out.
So, to be a better person, you must accept this truth. It may be a mean spirited attitude that the world has, but it’s the ugly truth, that the worlds wants. When you accept this raw honesty, what happens is you learn to love yourself despite what the world wants. You can choose to provide however you wish, and understand that this is what the world likes, but you can also appreciate who you are, and this makes you better for it.
2. People will let you down
Do you remember telling your best friend that secret and how they promised to never tell anyone? Yeah, they told someone, maybe even a few people. A good friend once told me that when you tell one person a secret, at least one other person will know, and so on. The ugly truth is, it is almost impossible to have a friend who doesn’t spill the beans occasionally, and at least to one individual.
And that’s not all, people will disappoint you in other ways too. If you think you will get into a relationship and it will be perfect, you are delusional. It will be bad at times, maybe many times. Your employer will not be perfect, your family will not be perfect. People are imperfect and they cannot do the right thing 100% of the time. So, get used to it.
3. What’s worthwhile requires hard work
You will never be able to have something truly special or productive if you don’t work really hard. I know this is not what you want to hear, but it’s the hard truth. You know those laid-back people who believe in “taking it easy”, yeah, they usually don’t fulfill great goals in their lives. I promise, just watch them for a while and see for yourself.
If you want to stand out and get a promotion, for instance, you must work your butt off and do so in such a way that you get noticed as a highly productive employee. If you work a little, you will reap only a small reward. If you stay busy and productive, you can fulfill great dreams.
4. Perfect happiness doesn’t exist
If you think some particular thing is all you need to be perfectly happy, you are wrong. There is nothing in the world that can make you happy to the point where you will have no other troubles.
True happiness is within, and I am sure you’ve heard this before. Now, this is true, but, this true happiness from within will also never be perfect. Life is not perfect, we are not either, and the ugly truth is… happiness is fleeting. However, there is nothing wrong with pursuing it anyway. Just always be aware that it doesn’t last forever.
5. You will die
Did you know that for the most part, we ignore the fact that we’re going to die? It might not be tomorrow, next month, or even next year. In fact, we may live a hundred years. But, the fact remains, we will die.
This is an ugly truth that should have you organizing your priorities and getting the most out of each and every day. But since we ignore, deny, or just turn our face away from death, we get lazy and we procrastinate. Yes, I guess I’m preaching doom and gloom here, but to be honest, you will, someday, somehow… die. So, face it and be better for it too.
The ugliness of truth will help you
Thinking that life is a fairy tale may be fun in the short term, but it will make you waste away in the long run. If we face things in truth, we can find ways to better use our time, hopefully, wisely.
I cannot brag about this at all. I think sometimes I am terrible at facing the truth and its ugliness, and I watch hours of television or scroll mindlessly on the computer. Is this a pattern you recognize in yourself.
I urge you, as a fellow procrastinator, to join me in facing the ugly truths of life. It will hurt, but just think of how worthwhile your life will be when you stop denying what’s really happening. We can do this.
I have faith in you.
Sherrie Hurd
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie+hurd
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=sherrie+hurd
- Also: https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: happiness, life purpose, personal development, self-improvement, sherrie, sherrie h, sherrie hurd, success skills, work
Segunda-feira, 18 de Maio de 2020
What Is the Meaning of 999? Do You See It Everywhere?
What Is the Meaning of 999? Do You See It Everywhere?
Sherrie Hurd, A.A.
learning-mind.com
Posted May 17th, 2020.
.People see repetitive numbers everywhere, it’s true – these numbers seem to have a deep meaning for their lives. Speaking of numbers, what is the meaning of 999?
Has anyone asked you about the meaning of 999? Better yet, have you seen this number in various places? Numbers are important, just as important as letters. When we think about numbers, we think about equations or measurements. But what about numbers outside of mathematics? Speaking of mathematics, check this out:
9+9+9=27 and then 2+7=9
The Universe and Numbers
Three 9’s add up to 27, and when you separate the two numbers in 27, add them back together, you also get a 9. I just had to break it down for you. In the equation, the number 999 doesn’t just have importance on its own, it also reduces to the single numeral 9 at the end.
Could it be that the universe is trying to tell you something with certain numbers or number combinations? I don’t mean hearing voices from the great beyond or the feeling of vibes circling the outside air speaking into your ear. I’m basically talking about numerology, the powerful meaning of numbers – today, it’s about the meaning of 999, to be exact.
The Historical Meaning of 999
The number 9 has often been considered a number that symbolizes a conclusion or an ending. The number 9 is also associated with lightworking. When you are a lightworker, and seeing a series of the number 9, it sometimes means a positive change is coming. It’s not only positive either, but it can also be ethereal.
Here’s a bit of history that’s pretty interesting as well: The emergency number in the U.S. is 911, correct? Well, according to history, the first emergency service call in London, created in 1936, was 999. When we call in an emergency, we need help, so this origin is also a great indicator of the magic associated with 999 in numerology. Calling for help is calling for an answer, a conclusion to what we’ve been going through.
While it may seem odd to place historical facts about London numbers with angel number 999, there’s no denying the emergency number’s connection.
Angel Number 999
So, let’s be honest, have you been seeing the number 999 everywhere? If so, you know it means something substantial, as I mentioned above. But what does it propose in spiritual terms, as a 999 angel number meaning? I think we should look a bit deeper, or rather, a bit higher.
Many people believe that seeing the number 999 means their personal angels are watching over them. They also believe that angels are sending them vibes of goodness and love, helping them understand how to be a better person.
So, when angel number 999 appears, many stop what they are doing and appreciate the unspoken words of the universe and its guardians.
6 Possible Meanings of 999
There are several meanings that come with the number 999. I think we should consider all aspects of this number before we assume how it affects our personal lives. While 999 might mean one thing to another, it could mean something different for you.
1. Guidance from within
One of the hardest things in life sometimes revolves around making decisions. While some choices come easy, others can seem impossible. You may turn to procrastination by asking everyone else what you should choose or what you should do.
Thankfully, the number 999 helps you connect with your inner wisdom. When this number appears, it could be time to reevaluate the decision you make and see if the decision comes easier. Many times, it does. It comes through inner wisdom bestowed by the magical number.
2. Learn about you
Repetitions of numbers like angel number 999 could mean its time to learn who you really are. Maybe you’re not the type of person who hides their true identity, but maybe you just don’t know who you are. It could simply be that you haven’t spent time with yourself.
Sometimes, if you experience an unhealthy relationship, especially one which focuses on co-dependency, you will lose the person you thought you knew. When you get out of the bad relationship, you just might start seeing 999. You can take this as an indication that it’s time to be alone for a while to see the true you.
3. Transformation time
The 999 angel number meaning could be attached to transformation. The interesting part could come from a plateau, or it could come from a negative space.
For instance, maybe you’ve realized some dreams and goals and feel quite satisfied, well, 999 says go for new goals. On the other hand, if you’re in a situation that isn’t causing you to grow, and rather causing you to wither, then it’s also time to go forward. Either way, it’s time to reinvent yourself when you see this number.
4. A different state of mind
One meaning of the number 999 is that you could need a different mindset. We may be going through life thinking a certain way, but this way is unproductive or unhealthy. In this case, it’s not about the people who’ve come and gone in our lives. Neither is it about how they have influenced us externally. It’s more about our entire way of looking at things.
Sometimes, our mindset is like a blockade to change and bettering ourselves. Give the number 999 a physical voice and it says, “You have to change your mindset in order to meet your purpose in life”. So, don’t ignore seeing this number repetitively. It’s the universe giving you the chance to make a complete turnaround in your thinking.
5. Separate goals from identity
Maybe you have huge dreams and goals in life. Or maybe you just attained one of those goals recently and you feel great about yourself. Now what? After that initial good feeling, it’s possible that a strange feeling may start to attach itself to your mind. If you are left empty because you’ve reached a goal in life, this means you’ve attached this goal to your identity.
Believe it or not, this is not a healthy thing to do. Yes, it’s important to understand your purpose, and it’s wonderful to chase dreams, but it’s not okay to become goals. You have to keep a separate idea of who you are apart from what you need or want in life. That way, if any of those goals fail, you still feel your self-worth and it is strong. This is what allows you to quickly move on.
6. Love changes
The meaning of 999 can also be related to changes in your love life. If you notice this number on receipts, bills, or even on any billboards, it could be telling you that either you will meet someone new, or the relationship you’re in will come to an end.
On the other hand, it could simply be telling you that your relationship could be going to another level, so don’t panic when you see the number. Take into consideration all aspects of your union and how you get along with your mate. This will provide good indicators as to which way the number is taking you.
What Should You Do If You See 999 Everywhere?
- So, with this in mind, there are many things you can do. Let’s say you’ve never seen the world, well when it’s safe and you feel financially secure, you could see places you’ve never dreamed of visiting before.
- Maybe you should change your focus. All this time, you could have been focusing on petty things or just the wrong things. Evaluate where you are and what’s most important in your life. You may not have much time to sort your priorities in some cases, unfortunately, so this is extremely important. Find that focus and train every part of your being to align with that focus.
- As far as goals go, if you write them down, you can clearly see a pattern in the things you want out of life. When they are only in your head, you might trip on them every once in a while, but you may put things on the back burner and forget. It’s important that you keep your goals in front of you. Writing them down in a notebook where you can reference back to what you want is excellent.
- Always strive to better yourself in your spiritual life/inner life. It doesn’t matter what you believe or if you believe at all, we all have an inner being or a pot of inner thoughts. It’s important that we always want to get better and better each day.
The Meaning of 999 Could Transform Your Life
Now that you have an idea of what this number can mean, maybe you need guidance on how to react when you see it. First of all, never jump to conclusions and make rash decisions. Angel number 999 is a positive sign. Even if things have to end in your life, there is a healthy reason this should be. The number is there to support you, give you strength, and also wisdom.
Remember, the number doesn’t come to bring fear into your life. It comes to bring improvements. So, read through these meanings and guidelines and feel for what connects with you. We are all different and receive different signs from the universe. The meaning of 999 could possibly change your life completely.
References:
Sherrie Hurd
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie+hurd
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=sherrie+hurd
- Also: https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: 999, numbers, personality tests, self-analysis, self-knowledge, sherrie, sherrie h, sherrie hurd, spirituality
Domingo, 3 de Maio de 2020
Emotional Numbness: Causes, Symptoms and Ways to Cope
Emotional Numbness:
Causes, Symptoms and Ways to Cope
Sherrie Hurd, A.A.
learning-mind.com
Posted May 3rd, 2020.
.There is something that can be worse than feeling furious or hopeless. Emotional numbness can evolve from various issues and cause serious damage.
You’re not alone if you can’t cry at a funeral. You’re also not a freak if you can’t laugh or smile on happy occasions. There is something else going on within you when experiencing the inability to feel. This is emotional numbness, and it has many recognizable symptoms. There are reasons why you cannot feel and there are also ways to heal this problem.
The Meaning of Emotional Numbness and Dissociation Explained
First of all, what is emotional numbness? It is a condition brought upon by years of building emotional blockades toward others and denying ourselves the right to feel.
Simply stated, emotional numbness is a result of dissociation. They are not one and the same – dissociation is a condition, while the state of being emotionally numb is what happens due to the condition.
When you disassociate yourself from emotion, you separate yourself from the situation attached to the emotion. For instance, when someone dies, if you are emotionally numb, you may not be able to cry. This doesn’t mean you are heartless. It simply means, well, it means many things. Let’s read on.
What Are the Symptoms of Emotional Numbness?
1. Feeling distant
One sign that you might be experiencing emotional numbness is the detachment of your mind from certain situations. Sometimes, you feel like you’re in your own body, while at other times, you may feel like you’re floating above it, looking at yourself. It’s not necessarily as an OBE (out of body experience), but more like watching a film of yourself. Something is wrong if you’re constantly viewing things from outside yourself.
2. Lack of participation
You watch others doing things, but you just cannot seem to join in. As far as your own hobbies or interests, you leave them behind as well. There’s just no desire for past hobbies or interests. Where others are concerned, you either want to watch instead of joining in, or you simply don’t want to be around to do anything. It just doesn’t matter to you.
3. Living a “flat” existence
It’s kind of hard to explain the “flat” existence, but it’s living a life of going through the everyday motions. When you’ve started to live a flat life, you just do the exact same thing from day to day, moment to moment. It’s neither negative or positive, it’s just motion.
4. In-ability for love or hate
What’s worse than being extremely angry at someone? That would be not caring one way or the other about anyone or anything. When you feel numb emotionally, you can’t feel love or hate.
5. You are empty inside
Some people become so numb, they turn into an emotional fog, a smoke that just dissipates into nothing. Unfortunately, having no feelings gets so deep that a hole erodes into your core. But even at this level, emotional numbness can be turned around. It starts with finding the cause. Which leads us to our next thoughts. What happened?
What Are the Causes of Emotional Numbness?
There’s not just one thing that steals away our feelings. No, there are many reasons this happens. That is why it can be difficult to pinpoint roots and help individuals cultivate normal emotions. I go through emotional numbness at times, but I don’t stay there inevitably. My numbness usually stems from deep roots in childhood. Unfortunately, it’s a numbness that I still often fall right back into with certain triggers. It happens to many of us. Delving into this problem, there are reasons.
1. Childhood trauma
The most common reason why people experience emotional numbness is childhood trauma. These events can be one or more of the basic abuses experienced while growing up. For example, if you were sexually abused, you might grow up to dissociate automatically during normal intimate situations. You can be a married woman with a fairly healthy intimate life, and yet, you can still separate yourself from your mate emotionally at times.
Physical, verbal, mental, and definitely emotional abuse can also lead to emotional deficits like numbness. It just depends on how you respond to treatments, or whether you received any treatments in the past. Some people never even tell anyone else about going through these things. What’s worse – some people cannot even remember due to a sort of dissociation that developed during the time of the abuse.
2. Substance use
Substance abuse has a category all its own. This is because substances such as drugs, alcohol, or other things can greatly alter the mind in a whole different way. With other types of abuse, the mistreatment generally comes from outer influences, but with substance abuse, after any initial outside influence, the abuse continues as self-inflicted harm.
It’s called addiction, and these addictions, usually drawn from some initial starting point, can bring about numb sensations. Sometimes, as with drugs, these substances can cause immediate emotional numbness because of chemical content. The same can be said for alcohol. Think about it this way, alcohol greatly numbs the skin, often keeping you from feeling the extent of certain pains or injuries. It can do the same to your mind. As with other addictions that don’t seem to fit into any neat category, emotional numbness can come from the inability to “kick the habit”.
3. Mental illness such as anxiety or depression
This cause of emotional numbness can come from childhood trauma, genetics, domestic violence, adult trauma, or any other thing that alters the mind and emotions forcibly. You can be born with the pre-determined destiny to inherit depression. Anxiety can come from domestic violence. PTSD can come from wartime trauma and any other event or part of your life that sparks fear. From mental illness such as anxiety or depression, you can experience symptoms and one of these symptoms happens to be emotional numbness.
Take panic attacks for instance. When I experience these attacks, I have trouble breathing, my heart rate increases, and then I experience all sorts of random abnormalities in my behavior. Sometimes, I just become numb. My skin will either itch, or I won’t be able to feel a thing. The worst part is for many hours afterward, I will become emotionally numb. I can’t laugh, I can’t smile and I feel like a brittle piece of paper floating through the air. Individuals with mental illness do experience emotionally numb symptoms, and they go through this in various ways – more ways than I can explain in an hour’s time.
4. Medications
Certain medications can also alter the way you think and even the way you feel. In fact, one of my medications does take away the severity of my emotions. If I take more or less, the amount of lost emotions differs. This just makes sense. Some of these medications are used for anxiety, while some are administered for manic states of bipolar disorder.
There are also medications given for physical problems, and the side effects don’t only cause headaches and nausea and such, but can also cause emotional numbness as well. When I take any sort of narcotic pain reliever, I seem to lose a small bit of emotion. Yes, these medications do cause an altered state of mind, but they can sometimes temporarily take away the ability to feel joy or anger.
5. Loss of a loved one
You can also experience the lack of feeling when someone close to you dies, especially when it’s a mother, father, or sibling. When a mate dies, it can be even harder. Learning to live without someone close to you that spent years, even decades of their life in your company can have a devastating effect. It can be so horrible that you forget how to feel grief, love, or even anger. Losing a loved one can cause many different feelings, and this includes the inability to have any feelings at all. I’ve been through this too, on more than one occasion. I’ve also witnessed one dying relative live with denial of their own impending death. This was especially hard to watch.
How to Overcome Emotional Numbness?
To be quite honest, some people just train themselves to avoid difficult emotions. This provides a little insight into how to treat the problem. You can do things both professionally and as maintenance measures to help you embrace your emotions. Many will tell you to try professional help first, so we can start with that.
Treatment Options:
1. Acceptance and Commitment therapy
This type of therapy is useful for those who suffer from PTSD and many mental health problems. ACT helps you recognize when you’re avoiding feelings due to experiences. When recognized, this therapy can help you understand how it’s good to feel both the negative and positive emotions that come with life.
2. Psychotherapy
This type of therapy basically finds the root of your problem. It recognizes that your lack of emotions is not natural, of course, and they must have a point of origin. Psychotherapy also coaxes feelings to the surface, even negative ones, so that the patient can learn how to process them in a healthy manner.
3. Cognitive Behavioral therapy
Not only does CBT help you bring forth your feelings, but it also helps you learn how to properly deal with them instead of using emotional numbness as a defensive mechanism to push them down again. Cognitive-behavioral therapy addresses your unhealthy coping skills and helps you turn them into powerful and positive solutions.
How to Maintain Good Emotional Health to Avoid Feeling Numb?
You can also deal with emotional numbness on your own as well. There are a few ways that your feelings can be pulled to the surface by consistent physical and mental maintenance. Or rather, you can use lifestyle modifications that cause emotions to even surface naturally.
1. Cut out stress
Stress can be a huge contributor to emotional numbness. It can literally suck the emotions right out of you for a long time. So eliminating this stress as much as possible is one answer. Some stressors will be difficult than others to eliminate, but you must cut something negative loose in order to feel again.
There are many ways stress sneaks in, as well, and one of the most common sources is the unhealthy relationship. Getting relationship counseling is one way to help, ending the relationship is another. I can’t tell you which is better, but you will begin to understand the route to take. The same goes for jobs, friends, and toxic family members as well. Deal with it, or get away from it. It’s necessary.
2. Get plenty of rest
The lack of sleep due to things like certain medications, stress, mental health symptoms like anxiety, and others can gradually rob you of your basic positive emotions. Regulating your sleep patterns can help you gain back a healthy sense of being. In order to regulate those sleeping patterns, however, you have to deal with whatever is causing you to lose sleep and making you feel fatigued.
You already know you have to eliminate stress, but maybe you need to speak with your doctor about changing medications. Maybe you need to speak to your therapist about your mental health symptoms. Of course, this is where professional therapy comes in. Whatever you need to do, get your sleep patterns back in order.
3. Keep a healthy support system
You will always need a group of friends and family that will allow you to feel free. Sometimes, you unknowingly teach yourself to hide your emotions to avoid fights or confrontations. Having a good support system that allows you to show your anger and work out frustrations is a huge key to healing from emotional numbness. Make sure you pick the right group of people or even one really good friend. These are the ones who will let you be yourself, which is an integral part of this healing.
4. Use creativity
If you cannot express your emotions through speaking, then maybe you can be creative. Painters are notorious for expressing repressed feelings in oil and acrylics. In the past, some individuals weren’t allowed to express themselves due to laws. But painters could make beautiful works of art that some didn’t understand. Only the painter could reveal their true intention and emotion behind the work, and they could reveal it to whomever they felt would keep them safe. You can also express emotions this way, and if you feel numb, pushing that paintbrush or tapping those keys will help open you up.
5. Meditation
Did you know that meditation and mindfulness can solve many of your problems? I think they can solve almost all of them, including the horror of emotional numbness. Focus, centering, being in the present, aromatherapy, and prayer can all coax out what’s thought to be dead space from within you. Enlightenment can marry you with your true emotions and help you control them as well.
Emotional Numbness, Go Away!
At one time or the other, I think we’ve all experienced this numb state. Whether it was from trauma or isolation, most of us learned how to resurface from the depths of this hole. You may fear the grips of emotional lack right now, and you may be stuck in the hopelessness of succumbing to this demon. But before you slip under the waves, take my hand. I’ve been there, I go there still sometimes, and it’s not without hope. If you suffer from emotional numbness, please take a second look at some of the symptoms, causes, and solutions, so you too can learn to feel emotions in a healthy manner.
I look forward to your comments and suggestions. Thank you.
Sherrie Hurd
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie+hurd
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=sherrie+hurd
- Also: https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: categories: psychology, coping, emotions, mental health, self-analysis, self-improvement, sherrie, sherrie h, sherrie hurd
Quinta-feira, 23 de Abril de 2020
8 Traits of a Charismatic Personality and How to Be One.
8 Traits of a Charismatic Personality and How to Be One.
Sherrie Hurd, A.A.
learning-mind.com
Posted April 23rd, 2020.
.Having a charismatic personality means understanding the delicate balance between confidence and humility. Everyone enjoys the company of such a person.
One of the best traits to have is charisma. While it might not be easy to understand by many people, for those who get it, it’s invaluable. Finding a balance that clearly defines the difference between cockiness and confidence means all the difference in the world. In that balance is where you want to be in order to truly be a good individual.
How to recognize a charismatic personality?
A winning personality void of egotistical intent but filled with love and kindness is what our world needs today. We need more people filled with true charisma. But who are these people? How do we recognize the charismatic personality?
Revealing traits
1. Substance
True charismatic people possess substance behind their initial charm. You may meet someone who is incredibly charming and warm, but if they aren’t truly charismatic, this charm will erode into selfish motivation. With substance, there is a depth to that charm – it’s a true intention to offer your best to your fellow man.
2. Presence
To have a strong presence is not just about being in the present moment, physically. When charisma is present within you, you are able to give someone else 100% of your attention when they are conveying a message.
Think about it this way. How important to you is what you have to say? It’s important, isn’t it? So, one trait of charisma is being able to hear every piece of information and understanding that all of it is important to the one speaking or needing help.
3. Good eye contact
A charismatic personality exudes confidence. This confidence often shows through good eye contact. When you make eye contact during presentations or even when simply meeting someone new, you help them focus on what you’re saying, thus understanding and retaining more information.
You will know that someone has charisma when they hold good eye contact without making situations uncomfortable.
4. Listening skills
Many times, in a conversation, one person holds the spotlight. Although it can be rather selfish, most people don’t realize they’re hogging all the attention. Instead of listening to someone speak, most people are already planning their next words.
A good healthy conversation, however, involves paying attention to what each other says, I mean really paying full attention. Charismatic people do this – they actually listen to what you’re saying. They are invaluable friends. They even listen more than they speak in all conversations.
5. Humility
Being humble is hard to some, but to charismatic people, it seems to come naturally. Humility is a well-known trait of selflessness, offering the best to others even when having to sacrifice themselves for others.
In fact, the most charismatic types of personalities have little to no arrogance at all. Humility will be easy to recognize when meeting charismatic people. Just watch for their constant effort to help and their amazing ability to accept when they are wrong.
6. Maturity
The person with charisma is mature. They place wisdom at a higher standard than knowledge itself. While so many of us possess intellect, few really have the ability to utilize logic and life experience like the charismatic personality.
True maturity shows through the charismatic person’s ability to make wise decisions, accept responsibility, and be a good influence on others struggling to be better versions of themselves. They will often be recognized as people wise beyond their physical age.
7. Power
Some personalities display kindness and beauty, while this particular personality displays power too. Now, mind you, this power I speak of is not a selfish type of power. It’s more like having an incredible influence over those in high positions.
But do charismatic people use this power for self-gain? Not usually, they mostly have this power unknowingly or they don’t try to use it. It’s more like something that just resides within that gets noticed and utilized. Using power for yourself and being a powerful influence are completely different things. True power shows through charisma.
8. Warm
A personality with charisma is a warm personality. This means they are approachable. Unlike other personalities where you feel nervous, the person with charisma makes you feel accepted, genuinely cared for, and intelligent. They never downplay your knowledge by showing off their own.
It’s as if they come towards you with open arms, welcoming everything you have to say. This warmth cannot be copied by those who aren’t charismatic people. It is a rare trait.
If you want to be more charismatic, here’s what you do:
1. Listen better
As I stated above, charismatic personalities truly listen during communication. If you want to be more like this, you have to practice listening more and speaking less. No, it’s not easy at all.
I have a horrible problem with just listening to what others have to say without constantly formulating my own words during their speaking. I also get overly excited about my own life and experiences that I often eclipse others when conversating. This is really bad, and yes, I must improve.
This is true with most people. We must learn to listen better if we want to improve our own charisma.
2. Take less/give more
Do not be selfish. Spend more of your time helping and giving to others, and less time taking things you believe you deserve. To physically be more charismatic, maybe you can help with a charity or do things for your neighbors.
It takes practice moving more into a selfless nature considering the world is always wanting us to take for ourselves in order to survive. So giving is a huge way of improving charismatic aspects of your personality.
3. Embrace change
Change isn’t easy, but to be more charismatic, you have to learn how to adapt to whatever is happening around you. At first, learn how to accept the ideas and opinions of others instead of judging their beliefs. Everyone is an individual and deserves the same respect, even when you don’t agree with them.
Accept a change of thought, a change of environment if necessary, and even a change in your personal life. People with positive power can do this.
4. Try to stay positive
While it’s not possible to be positive every moment of your life, striving for a positive attitude and good news when you can is always best. What this does for others is it makes them feel better about themselves. It makes them feel like there is hope in the world when they are disappointed. Work on your positive feelings and this will transform the way you and others think.
Becoming a charismatic person
Basically, I believe we should make a decision to move toward building a more charismatic personality. Why? Well, because being a good influence, truly listening and being kind never hurt anyone. In fact, this sort of behavior can change someone’s life for the better, and in huge ways. I encourage you to practice charismatic behavior and learn more about yourself in the process.
How are you improving your self today? Share any ideas if you want.
References:
Sherrie Hurd
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie+hurd
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=sherrie+hurd
- Also: https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: charisma, communication, personal development, personality, self-confidence, self-improvement, sherrie, sherrie h, sherrie hurd
Terça-feira, 21 de Abril de 2020
How to Create Safety Signals to Cope with Anxiety.
How to Create Safety Signals to Cope with Anxiety.
Sherrie Hurd, A.A.
learning-mind.com
Posted April 21st, 2020.
.There are many ways of coping with anxiety. But there’s one we may not notice. Safety signals can be quite an effective tool for dealing with anxiety.
As a child, I had many safety signals. When trouble was coming, I ran to retrieve them and I held them tight. But until now, I never really understood their significance in treating anxiety. This is mainly due to the fact that I was a child. It was seen as normal for me to latch onto objects and become obsessed with them.
Discovering your safety signals
The human race goes through negative experiences all the time. You hear about it on the news and on the internet. Then you have those who experience trauma that causes damage later in life through conditions such as anxiety, PTSD and other mental health conditions.
So, there are “normal bumps in the road” or present trauma and then you have mental trauma scars from the past, which affect people differently. However, both can leave you with triggers.
There are differences in the ones who cope quickly and move on, and the ones who are gripped by fear that comes from unresolved triggers. But no one should ever be ashamed of this difference.
We have cognitive behavior treatments and medications, but this usually only helps about half of those who suffer from mental health-related fears. Now, we’re discovering what’s called safety signals, that which seems to work especially well for many who struggle with fears and unwarranted fears.
Therapy, medication and safety tools
The introduction of the safety signal offers a tool that actually comes from an entirely different area of the brain than where cognitive therapy operates.
With cognitive therapy, the patient who suffers from anxiety or phobia about certain objects is slowly presented with the object in order to help them grow the courage to deal with the triggers. Over time, anxious people spend more and more time with the object or even the situation they fear, and these half really progress.
But our topic is about safety signals, and how this can help the other half and maybe even those who’ve initially tried cognitive therapy.
Going back to my childhood, I remember certain stuffed animals that made me feel comforted. I remember how they took away my fears sometimes during abusive situations. Do you know what that stuffed animal represented? That’s right, it was my safety signal, a positive stimulus that was bigger than my negative object or situation.
There are other things that are considered safety signals as well. I can touch upon these for a bit to help you understand.
What can be a safety signal?
1. A shape
The first safety signal was used in case studies. The subjects of these studies were asked to associate one shape with a negative feeling, and another shape with a positive one. The negative feelings represented a threat, while positive shapes were non-threatening.
When test subjects were alone with the threatening shape, they became anxious, but when the non-threatening shape was introduced, they seemed to calm down. Thus, you have the beginnings of a new way of healing.
2. A sentimental object
The first safety signal was a shape, used to prove a point about another way of coping with anxiety. But to get a little more specific, we need to look at common comforting things so you can understand what a signal of safety can be. One of those signals can come from sentimental objects.
When you’re afraid and anxiety has exacerbated that fear, you can look at a picture of a lost loved one who used to comfort you. You can hold an object that has a lovable meaning to you as well. You may read old letters, use cups that a loved one gave you, or even sit in your car if it has sentimental value for some reason.
Sentimental objects have few limits considering many things are gifted by special people in your life. This signal is not meant to cause dwelling in the past, however, it can temporarily take you back to a time and place of safety.
3. Stuffed toys
You don’t have to be a child to use a stuffed toy as a safety signal to ward off fears. I still have bears that I cuddle when I get really upset. It seems to be a way to feel something soft and familiar in your arms while defeating the fears of being alone, the paranoia of future bad news, or any negative thing that causes fear.
I can’t exactly explain why stuffed toys work so well, but they do. They’re inviting, comfortable and definitely always there for you. You’re never too old for a stuffed toy safety signal.
4. Music
In the same way, and yet differently, music can serve as a safe way to deal with fears. If you’ve been on this planet for a long time, you’ve probably built up quite a few favorite songs, styles of music and genres that provide certain feelings at certain times. When you’re afraid, due to anxiety, go to the music which signals a warm feeling inside. This is the type you want to listen to.
For me, many classic rock songs from the 70s and 80s seem to bring my head into a good space. Music choices to battle anxiety are different from person to person. The next time you are afraid, experiment with songs until you find what seems to calm you.
5. Certain people
Safety signals can also be people, but don’t assume they’re going to be the obvious choices. You may assume your mate would be your safety signal, but they’re not always the correct choice.
Your signal could be one of your children, a friend, or some other extended family member, like a cousin. You will know who it is when you feel that same feeling of safety as when you squeeze a stuffed toy.
6. Nature
And again, I must give props to nature for being a powerful safety signal for many people who have phobias and anxieties. That is unless, of course, they have a fear of nature. In that case, it won’t work.
Otherwise, nature, with its brisk fresh air, beautiful greenery, trees, the open skies – all this can quickly calm fears if you let it. And don’t forget the sounds of nature as well. You can listen to nature sounds on digital media, but nothing beats the real thing.
Finding your best signal for safety
Only you can discover what works best when dealing with anxiety, phobias, or other unwarranted fears. Triggers can be tamed with safety signals when used quickly and practiced for consistency.
With a routine of using these signals, your therapy, and prescribed medication, you can really put a hurting on those things which scare you. And that’s exactly what we aim to do. Even during times of universal crisis, we can stay on top of things with the right comforting object, person, or place.
Now’s the time, if you don’t already know, find your safety signal. I already have quite a few myself.
Be blessed.
Sherrie Hurd
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie+hurd
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=sherrie+hurd
- Also: https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: anxiety, coping, fear, mental health, psychology, self-improvement, sherrie, sherrie h, sherrie hurd
8 Emotional Manipulation Tactics and How to Recognize Them
8 Emotional Manipulation Tactics and How to Recognize Them
Sherrie Hurd, A.A.
learning-mind.com
Posted April 20th, 2020.
.Physical or verbal abuse is easy to recognize because you can see it or hear it. However, emotional manipulation tactics aren’t always obvious.
At some point in our lives, we’ve either witnessed emotional abuse, or we’ve been victims of this heartache. I can attest to being a survivor of a couple of decades of this type of abuse myself. Emotional abuse is hard to see sometimes, and that’s why, in my opinion, it’s one of the worst types of abuse of them all. It also leaves deep scars that only really strong individuals can carry.
Emotional manipulation tactics
Emotional abuse isn’t just a random form of abuse used out of anger or frustration. Not to excuse physical violence or verbal assault, but emotional abuse is sometimes planned and perfected before use. It sounds kind of evil, doesn’t it?
Well, in some cases, it is. In other cases, it comes from a long pattern of abusive behavior through generations. This is why we need to recognize tactics used by emotional abusers to manipulate people, and we need to put a stop to these subtle attacks.
Different tactics used in emotional abuse:
1. Getting close… fast
Individuals who use emotional manipulation tactics tend to act as though they are falling in love with you fast. If it’s not an intimate relationship, they may try to convince you that they are your best friend after only knowing you a short time. So, how does this become abusive?
Well, what happens is they tell you a few really deep things about themselves, and act as if no one else knows this about them. Then they use these secrets to coax information from you! Are you still wondering how this leads to manipulation?
Here’s the thing, what they tell you isn’t all that secret, but your secrets are. They use these things that you tell them to manipulate you, while the things they tell you, many other people already know. You see…it was a trick. Now, they have ammo against you.
2. Twisting facts
Emotional manipulators are experts at twisting facts. If they don’t straight out lie, they will exaggerate, say you said what they said, or simply pretend they never heard you say anything at all. They will lie in creative ways, and push the agenda that something happened in a way that it did not.
Twisting facts, for this type of abuser, is easy for them. They’ve been doing it most of their lives to get what they want and never be responsible.
3. The raised voice distraction
I am familiar with this one, but I only learned about it in the last couple of years. Until last year, I’d never seen a grown man throw a child-like tantrum when caught in the act. Not to give details, but he was using the raised voice distraction and intimidation tactic to get what he wanted… an apology, when he should have been apologizing.
You see, screaming or getting loud is shocking if you’re not used to that sort of behavior in a discussion or confrontation. Emotional manipulators use this tactic when there is nothing else they can use.
It took me a while to recognize what was happening, I stopped apologizing when I wasn’t in the wrong, and I made peace with the fact that he may leave. Truth is, when someone screams, threatens to leave or acts childlike, sometimes it’s best if they leave if they cannot stop. You have to come to terms with this because not only is raising the voice emotional abuse, it’s also verbal abuse as well.
4. Rushing decision making
Okay, this may sound weird, but I also started to catch on to this one lately. Emotional manipulators, when they want to do something they know would upset you, will ask your opinion in a rushed environment.
They will ask you questions as they are walking out the door, or by short text during a work break, or even ask right in the middle of an unrelated conversation. They assume you will just go along with whatever it is because you were caught off guard. Watch out for this seemingly innocent tactic, which is, in fact, emotional manipulation. It’s irritating.
5. Overusing the word “insecure”
No matter what’s bugging you, you must be “insecure”. This is one of the emotional manipulation tactics that drive me crazy. You see, if they are the type to flirt, and you get angry when you see it or find out, they will say you are insecure about getting angry. Here’s a lesson. YOU ARE NOT INSECURE BECAUSE YOU GET ANGRY.
I typed that in all caps so you will understand how important that is to remember. Just because you don’t want certain boundaries crossed by other women or men in your relationship doesn’t mean you are insecure. It means you stick to your morals and standards. And honestly, if they don’t stop using this word, then maybe you don’t need them. I absolutely hate this, and yes, it’s personal.
6. Running out
An emotional manipulator will leave the scene when they realize they haven’t got a chance in winning an argument. They secretly want you to chase after them, and they threaten to leave the relationship too. This is in intimate relationships mostly, of course. They may stay gone a few hours or all night, leaving you worried and nervous.
I think it’s one of the cruelest forms of emotional manipulation. If you’re caught off guard, you will cry and call them over and over trying to get them home. It’s okay, it takes a while to catch on.
Personally, when I decide to leave relationships or friendships, I don’t run out, scream, threaten or anything. I usually just have a nice calm “sit down” and explain that I no longer wish to continue in the relationship anymore. But I think long and hard before making this final decision.
All these theatricals that manipulators use are time wasters and abusive behavior. The next time it happens, try not to be frightened, and maybe even hope they are serious about leaving. You don’t need those games in your life….trust me.
7. Pretending to be dumb
Oh, and adults will pretend to be dumb too. If you tell someone you have boundaries, they will break them, and then say that they never understood exactly what you meant. This releases them from the responsibility of their actions.
They even say they forgot, or try to twist your words about what you did and did not want in a relationship. They play dumb, but you have to be smart, and call them on every single time they try this crap. It’s just one of many tactics of emotional manipulation used by predators. Show them that you know what they are doing.
8. Playing victim
I remember many times laying my standards and boundaries out on the table for the people I loved. I did it in the beginning so they had a chance to run if they wanted to. The problem is, sometimes they agreed to each and every one of the things I held important, only to break them later in the relationship. Then they played the victim when I got angry about broken boundaries and hurts.
You see, unfortunately, some people never plan to respect your boundaries and standards, but they still want to be in a relationship with you. What they do is hope that they can change the way you believe. If you are entering a relationship, please be clear on what you want, and if you both are too different, then just walk away.
Most people don’t change unless they make the decision to do so on their own. If someone is playing victim to you, remind them of the standards and boundaries you set in the beginning, and leave the door open for them if they wish to leave.
Why people who use these emotional manipulation tactics are the worst abusers
Do you know why emotional abuse is worse than any other abuse? It’s because emotional abuse doesn’t harm you physically, it’s more than screaming, and it doesn’t rape you. Emotional abuse goes beyond every muscle and fiber of your being and attacks the essence of who you are.
It makes you question everything. It makes you doubt your worth as well. I would never downplay other forms of abuse because I’ve been through them all, but the emotional abuse makes me angrier than all the others. Once I understand this is happening, I learn not to respond to the call to fight.
You can do this as well. It just takes a little education on the subject and a little practice. Do not let them take away your self-worth, and do not let them make you afraid to be alone. That’s all you need to fight with.
Sending blessings.
Sherrie Hurd
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie+hurd
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=sherrie+hurd
- Also: https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: abuse, behavior, dark personalities, manipulation, mental health, personality, psychology, relationships, sherrie, sherrie h, sherrie hurd
Quinta-feira, 16 de Abril de 2020
How Defensive Pessimism Can Help You Cope with Anxiety
How Defensive Pessimism Can Help You Cope with Anxiety
Sherrie Hurd, A.A.
learning-mind.com
Posted April 15th, 2020.
.Stop telling people that everything is going to be fine. Sometimes it isn’t, and this is where defensive pessimism helps us cope with that fact.
Not everything in the world goes according to plan. Some things go terribly wrong. For optimists, this can be devastating. You see, optimistic people, while their happiness is usually pretty healthy, sometimes do not account for what can go wrong. With the use of defensive pessimism, individuals can accept bad outcomes.
How does defensive pessimism work?
When I speak of a defensive type of pessimism, I don’t mean you’re getting offended and being negative. No, I’m talking about using your thoughts to plan a defense against the pain of bad outcomes.
It’s like that old saying goes, ‘plan for the worst, but hope for the best’. You see, that’s what your defense is all about. When it comes to anxiety, being defensively pessimistic is actually much better than trying to be optimistic all the time.
How to use defensive pessimism to calm your anxieties:
1. Utilizing strategy
While positive thinking helps you stay upbeat and hopeful, defensive pessimism works those strategy muscles. When you play chess, you don’t think one move ahead, but three, four or even five moves…strategy.
Some even think further ahead than that. Strategies in pessimism help us to understand that we do need to appreciate the now, but we can also plan ahead in case our opposition, the world, throws us a surprise.
2. Preparations expert
When you use pessimism to your advantage instead of letting it become overwhelming, you learn how to make logical preparations. It’s kind of like being realistic about life and knowing what tools to have for both good and bad outcomes.
This doesn’t just apply to surprises, it can apply to anything negative that plagues you or could become a problem. If you are prepared, negative issues will only be a small bump in the road. A prime example lies in retaining what’s called “Plan B”. You’ve heard me talk about it a few times, I believe.
3. Past experiences drive intellect
A defensive pessimist is often pushed by negative past experiences. These traumatic events cause many problems for them later in life, but it also grows a strong human being. These individuals rarely use optimistic strategies to combat life’s problems. They understand that “Just stay positive” doesn’t solve problems, and doesn’t keep them away.
Instead, they think of all the possible scenarios of most any given situation, just short of letting it overtake them. They know when to stop, and keep stress at bay, replacing that worry with those strategic plans that I mentioned above.
4. Using all your abilities
When you are defensively pessimistic, you tend to utilize hidden abilities. Optimists may never use these abilities because they tend to ward of concern and worry completely, depending on everything going the way it’s supposed to.
When you properly use your defenses however, you use all the abilities you’ve earned in life, plus the gifts you were born with to make sure you have that safety net. When things go south, you have a basket full of options to choose from. Yes, you’re prepared, and having many powerful abilities just adds even more to your preparations for “Plan B”.
5. Controls and tames anxiety
So, we come to the main reason why defensive pessimism is also a good mindset. When you have anxiety, and everyone is trying to make you stay positive, your levels of panic actually rise. This happens due to the pressure of thinking all good thoughts. It leaves you unprepared for what could happen. While it might not be all that good to constantly dwell on bad things, it’s also not good to assume everything will be rainbows and butterflies all the time.
Being defensive allows you to work through scenarios in your head and gives you the chance to tame your anxiety by coming up with solutions you may possibly need later. Controlling anxiety means staying in control of your life.
Optimism actually doesn’t give you all that much control at all. It just means “Stay happy, believe in good things, and never think the worst”. While this sounds all good and wonderful, it can be extremely dangerous to some.
Balancing between pessimism and optimism
I’ve been pessimistic many times in life, even to the point of being too dark. I have tried being optimistic, and that worked for a while, but only a while. So, defensive pessimism has actually become a way of life for me.
I do prepare for the worst and hope for the best, most of the time. While I don’t know the whole truth about how healthy this is, I believe it can’t be any worse than turning a blind eye to problems and assuming life will always turn out great. I would be fooling you and me both.
I do, however, think defensive pessimism is worth a try. Planning for the pitfalls of the future can really allow you to exercise strategy, gathering preparations and bracing for negative impacts. Either way, striking a good balance between dark and light in this manner is well worth a try.
What do you think?
References:
Sherrie Hurd
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie+hurd
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=sherrie+hurd
- Also: https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: anxiety, mental health, perception, personal development, positive thinking, psychology, self-improvement, sherrie, sherrie h, sherrie hurd
Terça-feira, 14 de Abril de 2020
Feeling Trapped in Life? 13 Ways to Get Unstuck
Feeling Trapped in Life?
13 Ways to Get Unstuck
Sherrie Hurd, A.A.
learning-mind.com
Posted April 13th, 2020.
.It’s not always easy shaking the mindset of feeling trapped. You must learn how to free yourself from the stuck places in life and in your mind.
What Is Feeling Trapped in Life Like?
Have you ever felt stuck? It’s a strange feeling that comes when life seems to repeat itself over and over. If you’ve ever seen the movie Groundhog Day, you understand what feeling stuck is like, and how intolerable repeating the same things can be. And it’s not just about being stuck in life, actually.
It’s better represented by the terms, “feeling trapped” because, honestly, people feel trapped like they’re living in a cage of existence. They are going through the motions like a mechanical being.
You might not initially notice when you’re feeling the trapped sensations. At first, you may think that you’re just afraid of change. And really, that is a part of it – fear makes us afraid of change, and thus, fear keeps us trapped. But we must learn how to connect these emotions in order to free ourselves from them.
You can stop this feeling of being stuck by practicing something different. It sounds like I want you to embrace change, doesn’t it? Well, maybe I do. In the meantime, read on.
How to Get Unstuck in Life?
1. Stop living in the past
I think this is the hardest thing for me to do. I sometimes sit around and think about times when my children were small, when my parents were alive, and when I was back in grade school. While I have many bad memories, I also have many good ones as well.
The truth is the good memories tend to keep me stuck even more than the bad ones. I catch myself wishing I could go back to what I think was a simpler time. The thoughts and emotions are deep, but they are keeping me stuck. Practicing the art of not dwelling on the past is the best thing to do in this case, and I am working on that as I go along. Hey, liberation doesn’t always feel good at first.
2. Learn something new
Last summer, I learned, hands-on, how to properly change a tire. Someone told me how to do it, but I never had the opportunity to complete the entire process on my own. Yeah, I guess some of you are laughing at me, but it’s true. I learned how to do something new, and with that, I felt a wonderful sense of pride in my accomplishments.
After that, I wanted to learn how to do even more things. I then took a lawnmower carburetor apart, cleaned the parts and put it back together with the help of YouTube. These things definitely helped me feel a bit liberated for the remainder of the summer months. So, go try something new and get unstuck. Just be careful when you do.
3. Change your scenery
Okay, so right now you might not be able to go on many trips or vacations, but later on, you will. If you get the chance to afford it, take a trip somewhere when all this turmoil is over. Until then, get out of one room of your home, the one which you frequent the most often, and try hanging out somewhere else in your home. It will feel as though you’ve taken a trip without going anywhere.
Do all your work, past times, reading, and napping in this different location. Just change your surroundings for a bit so you will not go crazy feeling trapped.
4. Change your exercise routine
Are you used to going on walks or jogging? Are you accustomed to doing aerobic exercises in your living room? Well, why not change up your fitness routine for a while and make it interesting. If you have a bike, and a good trail nearby, maybe now is the time to take a short bike ride to get your blood pumping. If winter and storms have ravaged your yard, then maybe a bit of yard work will reward you the exercise you need.
There are many ways to stay fit and keep you from getting bored by doing so. When we get bored with the things we do, we surely start feeling trapped again. When we keep moving, we understand that we are already free.
5. Finish some incomplete goals
Do you remember those scrapbooks you wanted to finish? Do you remember the book you never finished writing? What about completing that table you started building several months ago?
If you’re staying at home and feeling trapped, there are probably many things you haven’t completed from the past. Find those procrastinated projects and finish them now. When finishing those tasks, you will feel extraordinary freedom like never before.
6. The vision board
Some people aren’t familiar with the vision board. Well, it’s something I learned about when I was in sales. A vision board is exactly what its name says – it’s a board with images. But more than that, it’s a collage of pictures representing all the things you want out of life. It’s the dreams, goals, and aspirations that you have yet to reach.
All it takes is finding the right size bulletin-type board and cutting out pictures from magazines and such which remind you of your dreams in life. Now, don’t let these pictures depress you. No, let them inspire you to work toward what you want. Hang the board somewhere you see often so you can remember your priorities.
7. Try waking up earlier
You might not be a morning person, but maybe you should give this a try anyway. If you’re at home working right now, you are probably sleeping in a bit more than usual. That might not be the best thing for you. Even if you are going to work, then maybe you should get up a bit earlier than usual as well.
Waking up earlier gives you a few extra hours in your day, warding off the regret of getting up too late and starting slow. In a way, it’s psychological. The earlier you wake, it feels as if you have a better chance of a good day, feeling liberated and definitely not feeling trapped.
8. Business on the side
If you have the time and you have a few unused skills, then you should consider a small business venture on the side.
Let me off an example: I grow cucumbers every summer, and I make at least 30-40 jars of pickles from these. I make them for myself, but just this past summer, a few people tasted them and wanted to buy a jar, and so I sold a few of them. I was surprised when they wanted to buy more later on. Thus, I have been tempted to open up to make a side hustle out of this experience. I also make jams and relish, so I could even add a bit of variety to this side job.
This can be done in many areas of expertise. If you find that you’re good at something which can be monetized, then maybe this is what you need to get untrapped. The feeling you get when someone appreciates your work, or your creativity is a liberating feeling.
You can sell commissioned artwork, baked goods, or you can even sell your time by offering housekeeping services. I also did this for a while a few years ago. I’m telling you, it does break the monotony.
9. Make small changes
The incentives you use to become untrapped are changes, and change is so hard sometimes. The good news is that your changes don’t have to be huge. In fact, it’s best if you make small changes at first in order to get used to your new mindset.
For instance, you can start by changing your daily routine just a bit. Instead of waking up and immediately checking the news, you can go for a walk to help wake you up for the day. Then you can return to your coffee or tea, your news updates, and then to a healthy breakfast. Just this small change will invigorate you and help liberate you from feeling trapped in life.
10. Adjust your playlist
Speaking of changes, one thing you can do is redo your playlist. Maybe you have a nice arrangement of diverse music on your phone, iPod, or other listening devices, and these songs have worked great for you and your motivation in the past.
If you’re feeling stuck, however, it may be time to change some of your musical selections, mix it up and bit, and even consider listening to songs you wouldn’t have before. Changing your playlist and then listening to the product of your changes tends to send a jolt of renewed energy throughout your senses. I’ve done this and it really works.
11. Try keeping a planner
Okay, so I will be honest with you about this one, I have used a planner many times to help me remember things, and also to keep me motivated, thus escaping my prison of disappointments. It works as long as you keep doing it. My problem was always slacking off with jotting down appointments and plans, and then at times, simply forgetting what the planner that I was using to remember things… if that makes sense.
But, the only way to keep using your planner is to constantly pick one back up and try again. It is hard sometimes to remember your planner, your journal, or whatever works for jotting down important things or your goals, but it still works when you do it.
So, let’s try this again, and keep another planner to organize your life. After all, your daily organization does not enslave you, it actually frees you from a lot of worry and frustration.
12. Change your appearance
Depending on where you can go or what you can do, you can choose to change your appearance in some way. Even if you can’t leave home, you can give yourself a haircut… well, maybe. I guess this depends on whether you have the slightest clue of how to do this. If not, maybe a family member does and will offer to help you with that.
You can dye your hair if you have the materials you need. If you can’t do either one, you can style your hair differently, wear clothes you usually don’t wear, or you can try a new make-up style.
However, you manage to do this, it will help you feel a little less trapped in life. At least you will see your freedom to control how you want to look, and that’s important. Actually having control over your appearance is an underrated ability. Try it.
13. Find the reason
When you’re feeling stuck in life, there is always a reason. The unfortunate part about that is you don’t always recognize the root of the problem. Before you can improve your life in any other way, you need to find out what has you so trapped. It could be a person or a place, but either way, this is the key to understanding which way you should go.
Feeling Trapped? Then Do Something about It!
That’s right! I just told you to get up and get yourself going. Change some habits, eat better and go outside too. There are so many ways to break the monotony of feeling like you’re trapped in life. Many days, it might even be hard to get out of bed, so motivation is key.
And another thing, never neglect your gifts and talents. These often help you change your life faster than just making simple decisions on trivial things. You can be aggressive at times when seeking change and liberation.
One thing is for sure, feeling trapped is just fear, and getting free is about faith in the little changes and improvements in your life. Try something that you didn’t do yesterday. This is how you get started on feeling free in life. It also means stepping out on bravery you never knew you had. Your courage is there, you just have to recognize how it feels.
Thank you for reading, guys!
Sherrie Hurd
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie+hurd
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=sherrie+hurd
- Also: https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: goals, life purpose, motivation, personal development, self-improvement, sherrie, sherrie h, sherrie hurd
How to Deal with Loneliness and Isolation During Quarantine
How to Deal with Loneliness and Isolation During Quarantine
Sherrie Hurd, A.A.
learning-mind.com
Posted April 13th, 2020.
.Being alone and being lonely are two different things. Learn how to deal with loneliness during this trying time.
There’s nothing wrong with living alone. However, when quarantine happens, being alone may not be as comfortable as it once was. Even when we’re our only company at home, we can usually go out at times, but with a threat to our mortality at hand, this changes things. We must adjust to this change in our lifestyle.
Loneliness vs Being Alone
I’ve been alone before. When I first divorced several years ago, I had every other week on my own. The thing is, I still had to go to work and shop for food. I even spent time with a few close friends. I’m not alone now, but I can’t imagine how hard it would be for someone that is alone during this crisis, especially the more outgoing people.
Being alone is okay, but being lonely can take a toll on your health. So, it’s good to have ways to fight off this loneliness many of us are going through now.
How to deal with loneliness?
Dealing with loneliness isn’t easy for some people. After all, the norm is to go out and have fun when you’re lonely, right? Well, right now, we can’t run around and congregate in large numbers, we can’t dine out in nice restaurants, and we cannot even enjoy large spiritual gatherings. At least, we’re not supposed to do this.
So, what can we do?
1. Digital socializing
Most of the time, I would tell you to get off your computer and go visit someone, but today, I won’t be saying that. Today, I will be telling you to spend more time on your computer and chit chat with some friends. I’m serious. Now is the time to socialize online and share your feelings with others.
While we are quarantined, we can share our loneliness and thus thin it out a bit. Now, I didn’t say spend every waking moment on social media and such. That would make us more dependent now and later on as well. I just think you should check in every day with a friend or two and release a bit of that pent up tension.
2. Understand what you’re feeling
It’s important to understand the differences in alone, loneliness and solitude. If you can easily differentiate between these three, you will be better capable of dealing with the inability to go out or see others. Alone is a choice, loneliness is the feeling of disconnect, and solitude is being alone in your thoughts completely, which includes being alone and disconnected as well.
You can actually be lonely in a room full of people. Did you know that? So, loneliness can be combatted by actually leaving a room and choosing to be by yourself for a while. That seems strange, doesn’t it, when learning how to deal with the effects of loneliness? And that is why it’s important that you know these differences.
3. Be old-fashioned / use the phone
I remember when the only way to get in touch with friends was the telephone. We still have that option with smartphones. Maybe, instead of hopping on the computer, we can give someone a call. Spend time the old-fashion way, and talk about how you’re feeling with friends and even distant family.
Learn about what’s happening in their area. It works in pretty much the same way as social media and such, but it gives your eyes a rest. Keep in mind, too much screen time can give you headaches, and you don’t want to be lonely with a headache. Switch your contact abilities up a bit.
4. Get to know and appreciate yourself
Did you know that some loneliness stems from the fact that you don’t know who you are, or that you don’t like yourself? This is also a fact.
Not until I spent some time alone during rotating weeks of joint child custody, did I learn who I really was, and guess what? I am a good person and worthy of all my dreams and goals. Many people lean on others to decide who they are and base their worth, and they should never do that.
Now’s the time to get to know yourself, and if you don’t like what you learn, then dig deeper and do some repair work. Just don’t let despair and depression try and tell you who you are. Remember this: you are beautiful, you are worthy, and you are needed in this broken world. Over time, this self-education will relieve quite a bit of your loneliness and you will love your own company.
5. Stay active
I know this is an option on many of my posts concerning a myriad of conditions and situations, but it works. In fact, I am such a fan of this option that I downloaded a free app for daily short exercises and Yoga sessions. At the moment, there are several free apps for your phone that guide you through workouts, and you should check it out.
As well as inside exercises, if you live in a remote location with distant neighbors, you can get some exercise outside. Take a walk, jog or if it’s warm in your area, plant a few herbs or vegetables. It actually takes quite a bit of energy to cultivate and plant a garden, even potted plants. Either way, find a way to stay active. This is how you understand how to deal with loneliness.
Loneliness during isolation and quarantine
These are only a few ways to deal with being quarantined, and it works with isolation as well. Considering, to be honest, isolation is used to keep the sick from infecting others, and quarantine is keeping you separated from the sick in most cases.
These terms are sometimes used interchangeably or incorrectly, but you probably understand my point. Knowing this, you must find ways to keep yourself occupied, maybe even for quite some time.
You can also read, paint, listen to music, and reorganize your home. There are so many ideas, but it may be hard to think of these things because of the intensive loneliness, and the depression it may bring. I hope this helps a little, and you can offer other ideas in the comments as well.
We will get through this, so hang in there.
Sherrie Hurd
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie+hurd
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=sherrie+hurd
- Also: https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: communication, loneliness, mental health, psychology, self-improvement, sherrie, sherrie h, sherrie hurd, solitude
Quinta-feira, 9 de Abril de 2020
Why You Are Feeling Sorry for Yourself and How to Stop
Why You Are Feeling Sorry for Yourself and How to Stop
Sherrie Hurd, A.A.
learning-mind.com
Posted April 8th, 2020.
.You’ve probably moped around feeling sorry for yourself before. There are ways to stop this and cultivate a more positive attitude.
Yes, I am familiar with self-pity, and I bet you are too. But feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t get you far in life. It robs you of the time you can use to be productive and change things. No, the world isn’t fair, and bad things happen sometimes, but mulling around in self-negativity doesn’t help.
Are you feeling sorry for yourself?
Quick, take your mental temperature. Are you wallowing in self-pity? There are ways to tell if you are. If you’ve lost all passion for the things you love or talk constantly about your misfortune, you might be feeling sorry for your life and yourself. Would you like to know how to stop doing this? I thought you would.
How to stop the train of pity?
1. Accept the pity
I know this might sound counteractive, but just listen. It is okay to feel sorry for yourself for a little while. I know I might be going a little against the title in this post, but you will understand if you read on. What’s most concerning, is staying in self-pity for too long.
So, allow yourself to feel those negative feelings, every single emotion, but then agree to let them go after a certain period of time. Just don’t hold onto negativity for too long. Letting self-pity go will help you eventually feel less and less sorry for yourself in time.
2. Help someone
Helping other people always gets us out of our own head and into the concerns of friends, family, and even some strangers. The more you get out of your head, the better the perspective on what’s happening in your life that hurts. Of course, you should tackle your problems after helping someone else. Keep those things separated.
For example: Help someone move, listen to someone else’s problems or offer to babysit. Trust me, all these things will make you stop thinking negatively about yourself so much. You will see what other people are going through. Plus, it’s just right to help others anyway.
3. Change your focus
No matter what’s happened in your life to make you feel sorry for yourself, there are many things good about you. There are things that people see in you that you may not even see in yourself. However, if you focus on things that don’t revolve around self-pity, you may be able to grow a more positive outlook.
Try focusing on what you have instead of what you don’t have. So, you might not own a house, but you rent a decent one that keeps you safe and warm. You might not have a new car, but the one you have gets you where you need to go. Change how you see things, and self-pity will fade.
4. Stop giving up, and start breaking boundaries
When I say boundaries, I don’t mean the positive ones you’ve set for you and your life. I’m talking about the limitations that people place on you in society.
If you’re trying to become a doctor, and people keep telling you that you’re not cut out for it, do you back down and accept what they say? Of course, you don’t because this makes you start feeling sorry for yourself. So, if you want to be a doctor, start climbing on the bumps of criticism that everyone keeps throwing in front of you. When you refuse to give up, pity cannot survive.
5. Stay away from the 3 P’s
There are three thought processes that keep us locked in feeling pity. These mindsets are personalization, pervasiveness, and permanence.
With personalization, we tend to think that our situation is our fault alone. We blame ourselves and dwell on what we could have done differently. With pervasiveness, we assume that a traumatic event will affect all areas of our lives, and this is not true. And permanence makes us think that bad things will last forever.
These three lies must be thrown out in order to stop feeling sorry about our situations.
6. Think about your future
Yes, it’s great to live in the present, I encourage that. The thing is, you need to take a quick look at how your future could be if you continue to feel sorry for yourself. You see, self-pity is stressful, and it can take years off your life.
So, ask yourself if what you’re feeling bad about will matter in the next 5 years. If you don’t think it will, then start to let it go before it makes you sick. Remember, mental and physical health are connected and influence each other both ways. Keep your future in sight, just a bit of it, and maybe this will help you retain hope instead of pity.
So, let’s stop feeling sorry for us
When I say us, it means I sometimes suffer from the trap of self-pity myself. So, you’re not alone. It’s not all that difficult to do, especially when your life has been a series of letdowns and traumatic events. But you see, you cannot let those things define you, and when you feel sorry for yourself, that’s what happens.
I hope this helped you do a bit of positive thinking, and most of all, I hope it gave you the strength to stand in the face of adversity. I’m working on it myself, and so we’re doing it together.
I wish you well.
References:
Sherrie Hurd
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie+hurd
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=sherrie+hurd
- Also: https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: emotions, mental health, negative thinking, personal development, positive thinking, psychology, self-analysis, self-esteem, self-improvement, sherrie, sherrie h, sherrie hurd
Quinta-feira, 2 de Abril de 2020
The Unknown History of April Fools’ Day: Origins and Traditions
The Unknown History of April Fools’ Day: Origins and Traditions
Sherrie Hurd, A.A.
learning-mind.com
Posted April 1st, 2020.
.Tricking people has become a normal pastime on the first of April. However, the history of April Fools’ Day is more interesting than that.
For as long as I can remember, my friends and family have been playing tricks and lying to me on the first of April. Some of these tricks have been pretty shocking and frightening. But the origin of April Fools’ Day is much more than telling someone a lie and watching them “freak out”.
The History of April Fools’ Day
Many people assume the history of April Fools’ Day originated from France, but we don’t know this for sure. In fact, there are a few origins of April Fools’ Day that circulate within society. Although we see this holiday as a purely frivolous day, it wasn’t always just about fooling people. It was a bit deeper than that, and one of the rumors of origin did indeed come from France.
Some of the historical facts and rumors:
1. The French Calendar
One story or rumor comes from 1582 when France changed from the Julian calendar to the Gregorian calendar. The significance of this comes from the fact that France originally celebrated its New Year on April 1st on the Julian calendar, but when the Gregorian calendar came into use, this changed the New Year to January 1st, as we celebrate the holiday today.
Some people didn’t get the news as quickly as others and continued to celebrate the new year on April 1st. These individuals became known as “April fools” because to others they were jokes. Everyone who did know of the transition played pranks on them and made fun of their ignorance of the change.
2. A published poem in 1561
One belief that completely changes the idea of French origin comes from a poem written by the Flemish writer, Eduard De. Dene. This writer wrote a poem about a man who sent his servant on fake errands all day long on April 1st.
If indeed, this was the first incident considered an April Fools’ joke, it contradicts the origin concerning the French calendar. Supposedly, the French calendar was changed after this poem was written. This is one reason why the history of April Fools’ Day is such a mystery.
3. Vernal Equinox
Some believe that April Fools’ Day started because of the Vernal Equinox, the start of spring. People of the Northern Hemisphere believed that nature was playing tricks on us by using its unusual weather.
As spring is the transformation of cold into mild weather, the weather itself is often unpredictable, almost as if it’s playing tricks on us. Just when you think it’s getting warmer, springtime throws in a couple of cool days to remind us that winter isn’t quite completely gone yet.
4. Roman Hilaria
There is also the belief that April Fools’ Day originated in Ancient Rome. Those who were members of the Cult of Cybele celebrated Hilaria by mocking the magistrates and dressing up in costumes. This celebration of sorts in March was apparently inspired by Egyptian beliefs in Isis, Seth, and Osiris.
5. April Fools in Scotland
There was also a tradition for April Fools’ Day in Scotland, as it spread throughout Britain. The Scots celebrated the first of April by hunting “the gowk”. It was a two-day event, with the “the gowk hunt” being on the first day.
The “gowk” was a fake bird, also known as a cuckoo bird, which is a symbol for a fool. People were told to hunt down this bird as a joke. The second day was called “Tallie day” where individuals pinned signs, such as “kick me” on other’s derrieres. It seems that as the ideas of April Fools’ spread, the jokes continued to become even more imaginative.
6. Modern April Fools’ Day
Society has gone much farther to celebrate April Fools’ day in modern times. Television stations and radio broadcasts fooled many people with fake announcements to scare and amaze us. All throughout history into modern times, this holiday was observed almost as much or more than other holidays. It was just celebrated in different ways.
Notable April Fools’ Day Pranks
There are a few pranks that should be remembered for their outrageous claims. These April Fools’ Day jokes go far and above simple comedy. Some of the jokes had people scratching their heads in confusion and wondering if the world was going crazy. Let’s take a look at a few notable pranks.
The 1950s
Apparently, many people were convinced there was a spaghetti harvest in Switzerland. This is hilarious because we should all know that pasta itself is not grown in any garden. Then again, some people think cotton is man-made, so go figure.
1968
“Fooles Holy day” represented April 1st when everyone was supposed to gather at the Tower Ditch for the “lion washing ceremony”. This became a popular prank, especially for out of towners. Can you imagine a special day for watching the bathing of such wild beasts?
1996
In the year 1996, Taco Bell, a fast-food restaurant, announces that it has purchased the Liberty Bell and renamed it the Taco Liberty Bell. This prank is just silly, but it is amusing.
2008
BBC releases clips of flying penguins and publishes a story called, “Miracles of Evolution”. The story states that Penguins are migrating from the Arctic and moving to the jungles of South America. Believe it or not, some people fall for this prank.
April Fools’ Continues
Although we really don’t know the set date in which this routine came to be, we still enjoy pranking people. It is also a day we celebrate around the globe with colorful antics and amusing jokes. So, today, try to see the origin of April Fools’ Day as a beginning to poking fun at your friends. After all, we need a little hilarity in today’s crisis.
Go out and play that joke, have some fun, and remember to be kind.
References:
Sherrie Hurd
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie+hurd
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=sherrie+hurd
- Also: https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
Sexta-feira, 21 de Fevereiro de 2020
6 Signs You Are Self-Sabotaging and How to Stop This Toxic Behavior.
6 Signs You Are Self-Sabotaging and How to Stop This Toxic Behavior.
Sherrie Hurd.
learning-mind.com
Posted February 20th, 2020.
.Unfortunately, we can sometimes fall into self-sabotaging behavior. There is more than one reason for that.
At the moment, I feel as if I am sabotaging my life. Just when I think everything is okay, another boulder rolls down the hill and flattens me again. But it’s not a real boulder, it just feels like one. You see, at that moment, I lose all desire for the things that used to make me happy. It’s like I’m waiting for the rocks to stop falling. It’s a possibility that will never happen in my present situation. So, I feel stuck, and thus, I am sabotaging my life in the process.
Toxic aspects of self-sabotaging behavior
Procrastination is part of my behavior. I will sit and binge watch television for hours so I don’t have to face the unfairness and disrespect in my life. Instead, I try to ignore it by losing myself in some fake story on the TV. And there are many other things I do, and others do that prove we are sabotaging our lives – we are wasting precious time by letting what others do govern the next move or the next goal. There are many signs that this is true.
Indicators that you are sabotaging your life
1. You’re choosing comfort over change
Maybe it was once a good situation, the life you’re living right now, but things have been revealed, and it’s no longer the life you thought. In fact, it’s almost unbearable. However, it must not be bad enough for you to change it. I heard this saying once, and don’t remember where, but it fits this perfectly.
Once there was a dog that was sitting on a long sharp nail. A man asked the dog’s owner why the dog didn’t get up off the nail. He said it must be painful for him. The owner said, “when it hurts bad enough, he will move”.
That’s what happens to us. Sometimes we refuse to change because we’re not hurting bad enough yet. Eventually, if things don’t get better, the pain will become too much to take. That’s when we may give up the self-sabotaging behavior and get off that nail that’s driving deep within. That’s when we may make a better life for ourselves.
2. Blame is never allocated correctly
When something happens, you tend to either blame yourself when it isn’t your fault and blame others when it is your fault. This might not be the case 100% of the time, but it’s most of the time. Your focus is on “who did it?” and not on “what can we do to fix it?”.
Self-sabotaging behavior not only affects your life, but it also affects other people as well. When children are involved, it’s just confusing for them. After all, you’re trying to teach them the correct way to take responsibility.
3. You always want to fix people
I’ve spent two decades of my life in relationships fixing men. Let me tell you, it’s exhausting and it has taken a huge portion of my youth. It’s as if those years just went poof! right in front of me. I’m not trying to be insulting to anyone, it’s just that, I should have laid out the rules about who I am and then left if my expectations weren’t met.
Did I do that? No. Instead, I thought I could help them, change them, improve their standards in life. That was just so silly, and it still is.
Trying to fix people is like trying to nail jello to the wall. It just doesn’t stick, it doesn’t stay, and it makes a huge mess. Also, when you’re busy trying to fix people, you lose so much time on the things that matter the most, like your children and unconditional people in your life.
4. You’re using others to compare
I work at this all the time. I don’t find it as difficult as being judgemental, actually. Maybe I am too busy judging people to be jealous of them. However, every once in a while, I see happy people and wish I was like that. I see them smiling on social media and hugging loved ones. The picture says that their lives are perfect, but I know that those images are not the full truth.
But every once in a while, I sabotage my feelings when seeing marriages, Valentine’s gifts, and people who seem to have lots in common. I compare those things to the differences in my life, and I catch myself wishing my family was closer. It’s like falling into a trap, and then destroying yourself while you’re in there. It can be ruthless.
5. You magnify the negative
You never fail to notice every single negative thing that happens, but the positive things slip right by so easily. To be fair, many times, the negative things are things that happen over and over no matter how many times you’ve asked for them to stop, or how many times you’ve worked on making it better.
This makes it incredibly hard to see the victories as wins. In response to this, you develop depression and anxiety trying to make things work. You don’t mean to do it, but you sabotage any hope you could have by moving forward.
6. Worrying about what others think
I don’t do this much, but when I do, I make sure I worry incessantly. I guess you might say, I only worry about the things that will affect me personally. No, I don’t worry about what people think of my style or my hobbies, but I do worry about the fact that people probably think I am mean.
I can thank the men trying to manipulate those thoughts in my head. I am introverted, and most of us really don’t care about what others think, but sometimes, we would like to be accepted the way we are, and we sabotage ourselves trying to be something we’re not.
Okay, so, how are we going to stop this?
Well, first of all, we all need some time alone to think. We need to figure out if the place we’re at is our true destination, or are we supposed to make a change. This knowledge may take some time. Like I said about the dog, when it hurts bad enough, you will get up, and get out of the situation.
We should never forget what makes us happy as individuals. This doesn’t include what makes our husbands or wives happy. This is about us and us alone.
We should also make sure to take full responsibility for our actions but refuse to take responsibility for what someone else has done. Don’t let anyone convince you that something they’ve done is your fault. That can be a form of gaslighting. And having a healthy amount of care about how people think of you is okay. It does matter, but not to the point that you have to conform to a dress code or majority standard.
And then remember to be positive once in a while. Even though someone may be driving you crazy with their idiocy, try to see the good in every single moment. If you can’t see good where you’re sitting, leave the room and find it somewhere else.
I hope this has helped you to stop sabotaging your life. As for me, I’m still working on it, and I’m telling you, when I get it worked out, I don’t plan on making these same mistakes. Let’s hope not.
Be blessed.
Sherrie Hurd
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie+hurd
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=sherrie+hurd
- Also: https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
tags: behavior, mental health, negative thinking, personality tests, psychology, relationships, self-confidence, self-improvement, self-knowledge, sherrie, sherrie h, sherrie hurd
Sexta-feira, 14 de Fevereiro de 2020
19th-Century Photos of Snowflakes Under a Microscope Show the Captivating Beauty of Nature’s Creations.
19th-Century Photos of Snowflakes Under a Microscope Show the Captivating Beauty of Nature’s Creations.
Sherrie Hurd.
learning-mind.com
Posted February 13th, 2020.
.Every snowflake is different, and yet, curiously the same. Why is this? Well, the fluffy edges and lengths are various, but each snowflake always has the same number of points.
As a child, I folded paper and used scissors to cut shapes off the corners of the folded paper. Then I would fold the paper again and cut more shapes from the new corners. After I was done, I unfolded the paper to reveal what looked like a snowflake. This one couldn’t melt, and it brought a huge smile to my face.
I think many children did this, and it was magical to them. Although I couldn’t hold the beauty of the snowflake in my hand during a snowstorm, I could keep these paper snowflakes as long as I wanted. Either way, I never got over just how amazing snowflakes could be.
The thing about snowflakes
Have you ever heard the expression “No two snowflakes are alike”? Well, it’s actually true. Every single snowflake has its own shape and size. The only similarity and I mean identical part of each snowflake, is the fact that they all have 6 points. Isn’t it remarkable how such unique forms of nature have such mathematical aspects? But you can only fathom this if you understand how snowflakes are formed in the first place.
How snowflakes form
Do you want to know how snowflakes form? Well, the short answer is that cold drops of water attach to pollen or dust in the air, which then forms a crystal. This crystal continues its descent until more water vapor attaches to the crystal and forms its unique shape – which pertains, basically, to the 6 arms of the snowflake.
Also, it is that the temperature, not the humidity governs how the snowflake is formed from the crystal. In 23 degree weather, the snowflake will have long pointed crystals while in colder temperatures, the 6 points of the crystal will be flattened. The truth is, a snowflake can change shapes all the way down, but it always retains 6 points. It all depends on the atmosphere.
Capturing the snowflake under a microscope
In the 17th century, Johannes Kepler was the first to wonder why snowflakes formed the way they did. It wasn’t until two centuries later that a farmboy in Vermont, Wilson Bentley, used a microscope to discover more.
After Bentley’smother purchased him a microscope, he started gazing at everything from blades of grass to insects, but what stopped him in his tracks was when he caught a melting snowflake underneath the lens. He was amazed.
Of course, Bentley had to study his snowflakes in the coldest place he could find around his home. After some time, and despite his father’s irritation of him neglecting his farm chores, he received a camera. When he attached his huge accordion-like camera to his microscope, he captured the first photograph of the snowflake. This was on January 15, 1880.
Wilson Bentley took more than 5000 pictures of snowflakes over the course of 46 years. He examined each one carefully, admiring their intricate and unique formations.
Of course, after each photo was taken, the snowflake would melt away gradually, taking it’s tangible beauty away forever. If not for the images, we would never be able to see what Bentley saw in those many winters that he devoted his life to his passion.
Bentley became known as the “Snowflake Man” to those who knew him and also in a 1998 biography written by Duncan Blanchard.
Snowflakes are alluring
I may have cut out paper snowflakes as a child, but nothing rivals the real deal. I applaud nature’s art and hope you have enjoyed learning facts about the snowflake and how while vastly different, all retain 6 points of intricate beauty. Maybe we will see a few of them this year, and catch a glimpse of their magic before they fade away.
References:
Sherrie Hurd
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie+hurd
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=sherrie+hurd
- Also: https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
Quinta-feira, 6 de Fevereiro de 2020
Conversational Narcissism: How to Deal with People Who Have This Annoying Trait
Conversational Narcissism:
How to Deal with People Who Have This Annoying Trait.
Sherrie Hurd.
learning-mind.com
Posted February 5th, 2020.
Again, here’s another topic you may have missed in life, or maybe not. Do you know someone who is a conversational narcissist? I was unaware that I was talking about myself too much. I was unaware that I was sharing bits of information and hardly asking any questions. My best friend was the biggest victim of my conversational narcissism. And no, I am not ashamed to admit that I have problems with this because we all have issues.
Plus, did you know that there is a bit of conversational type narcissism in all of us. That’s right. So, let’s break this down so you can understand…unless, of course, you already know what I’m about to say. Some people tend to be miles ahead of me in these areas. After all, we’re all learning, every day.
What exactly is conversational narcissism?
It is the tendency to take over conversations whether in obvious ways or more subtle tactics. This keeps the conversation directed toward one person.
Okay, this is the thing. Narcissism isn’t always so obvious. It can hide behind many things, and it can also be there without the knowledge of the one using the toxic behavior.
Conversational narcissism is also easy to fall into, like a subtle trap. You can be having a normal conversation and suddenly find yourself hogging the spotlight. Then there are those who are always utilizing conversational narcissism, and there are ways to spot them. There are also ways to deal with them as well. If you realize this is you, then we can work together to deal with ourselves.
What do toxic conversationalists look like?
Conversational narcissists always shift responsesback to themselves. Here’s an example:
- Shelly: “I bought a sweater at the new boutique in town today”.
- Patricia: “Really, yeah, I have been meaning to stop in there. I need a few sweaters and shirts myself.”
Notice how Patricia heard the sentence that Shelly spoke but quickly made the conversation about herself. She never asked what color the sweater was or if Shelly liked the sweater. This is one way to spot a narcissist of this breed.
Narcissism in conversations can also be used with small responses, like this example:
- Michael: “Hey man, guess what! I aced that chemistry test.”
- Peter: “Good.”
- Michael: “I thought I was going to fail, but I pulled it off.”
- Peter: “Yep, you did.”
Now watch what happens after Michael finishes telling Peter about his test.
- Michael: “So, how did you do on your test?”
- Peter: “Man, I did pretty well, but I think some of those questions weren’t in the study material.”
- Michael: “Really, I thought they were. But it’s great that you did well. I’m proud of you.”
- Peter: “Yeah, I studied, but I knew most of the other material, so it pulled me through.”
Notice how when Michael tells Peter about doing well on his test, Peter uses short disinterested answers. He is either not really interested, or just not paying attention. But when Michael asks about Peter’s test, Peter is ready to talk, even as Michael congratulates him at length.
A conversational narcissist can also just be a plain spotlight thief, taking up the entirety of the conversation. I don’t think I need to elaborate on that one. We’ve seen them and we’ve been them, for the most part.
How can we deal with this toxic behavior?
When it comes to dealing with a conversational narcissist, the point is, you cannot change anyoneunless they want to change. However, here are the best ways to deal with the narcissism of this type.
1. You will listen… a lot
When you’re speaking to a narcissist, expect to listen much more than speak. Since a narcissist loves to talk about themselves, and you’re listening, then you’re, in effect, dealing with someone who’s engaging in a toxic conversation with you. If avoidance isn’t an option, then listening is the next option.
2. Have low expectations
When talking with a person of this nature, don’t expect them to be respectful enough to listen more than usual. I mean, if they are used to doing all the talking, then that is what you should expect. In fact, expect less even. If you do this, the conversation won’t be as painful as it could be.
3. Don’t try to challenge them
Although you may want to tell them the truth about what they’re doing, just don’t, especially while they’re in the middle of a conversation. Don’t try to challenge their topic with more of your day, or your happiness. They usually care only about getting their ideas and points across.
4. Use this as a learning tool
It may be incredibly painful to listen to someone go on and on about themselves, but you can learn things from this. You can learn patience, focus, and self-esteem, and these things can help you in other areas of your life.
5. You can learn what NOT to do
While listening to a conversational narcissist, pay close attention to anything that might sound like yourself. As I said, we all hog the conversation from time to time and listening to a severe case of narcissism, you can recognize all the things you need to improve on with yourself.
Let’s deal with them, and let’s deal with us
Before we try to deal with others who have toxic conversation skills, we should do a quick check on ourselves. If we don’t see anything wrong, then we should listen to others, as I mentioned above.
Also, ask your best friend, and remind her/him to be honest, and tell you if you are taking over the conversation too often. Remind your best friend that you will not be offended by the truth because learning the truth is the pathway to change. Let’s work a bit on our conversation skills, shall we?
Sherrie Hurd
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from:
- https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie+hurd
- http://violetflame.biz.ly/cgi-bin/blog?tags=sherrie+hurd
- Also: https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/search?q=sherrie
A Trusty with Privacy Search
No religious or political creed is advocated here.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.
Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.
Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone.
Please respect all credits.
Discernment is recommended.
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility.
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
(email:nai@violetflame.biz.ly)
PT: a chama ~ Israel ou Cazária!? ~
ES: LLAMA VIOLETA
EN: VioletFlame
.mais sobre mim
.pesquisar
.Junho 2020
Dom
Seg
Ter
Qua
Qui
Sex
Sab
1
2
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
.posts recentes
. Worry Time: How to Schedu...
. 5 Ugly Truths about Life ...
. What Is the Meaning of 99...
. 8 Traits of a Charismatic...
. How to Create Safety Sign...
. 8 Emotional Manipulation ...
. How Defensive Pessimism C...
. Feeling Trapped in Life? ...
. How to Deal with Loneline...
. Why You Are Feeling Sorry...
. The Unknown History of Ap...
. 6 Signs You Are Self-Sabo...
. 19th-Century Photos of Sn...
. Conversational Narcissism...
. The Toxic Habit of Blamin...
. Thought-Provoking TED Tal...
. What’s the Difference Bet...
. Why Ghosting People Can B...
. 6 Types of Abuse in Relat...
. 4 Systematic Desensitizat...
.arquivos
.tags
- 11:11
- a vision
- aaraya
- aaraya de siriús
- alignment project
- amor
- angel wisdom
- anyas
- arcanjo gabriel
- arcanjo miguel
- archangel gabriel
- archangel michael
- arcturian council
- ascension
- awakening
- becky storey
- behavior
- benjamin fulford
- cobra
- collective consciousness
- communication
- consciência
- consciousness
- conselho arcturiano
- coronavirus
- covid-19
- creator writings
- criador
- cura
- daniel scranton
- despertar
- dinnho beduzupo
- edward morgan
- ego
- emotions
- empathy
- energia
- energy
- escritos do criador
- fatima d’agostino
- fear
- federacao galactica
- fraternidade de sirús
- gabriel rl
- galaxygirl
- inspiração
- inspiration
- intelligence
- janey davies
- jata
- jennifer farley
- jeshua
- jesus
- john smallman
- kate spreckley
- lottie miles
- love
- marlene swetlishoff
- matrix
- matriz
- meditation
- mensageiro siriano
- mental health
- mike adams
- mike quinsey
- mudanças
- new earth
- o criador
- pandemic
- pensamento do dia
- perception
- perguntem aos mestres
- personal development
- personality
- progress group
- psychology
- relationships
- sai baba
- saint germain
- salusa
- sananda
- sathya sai baba
- saul
- self-improvement
- sharon stewart
- sharon taphorn
- sheldan nidle
- shelley young
- sherrie
- sherrie h
- sherrie hurd
- sirian messenger
- sirio
- society
- spirituality
- suzanne lie
- the creator
- thought adjuster
- vozes celestiais
- yeshua
